Disclaimer: Not real.

Author's Note: This is my first JONAS fanfic. I put a lot of work into this and would like to thank both Whats Mine Is Yours and dreamingofwarwickave for beta-reading this piece and for their awesome comments/advice. I really hope you all enjoy this, and please tell me what you think! I'd like to know what your thoughts are in regards to this NACY story.

A Lack of Composure

Nick would be lying if he said he didn't know when he first started noticing her. He knew the day it happened and could pinpoint what first caught his eye. There was no convincing him otherwise because now he couldn't help but notice her. She haunted his every thought. The more he tried to avoid it, the more troublesome it became. It was exhausting battling himself so much, but now he was ready to give in.

However, Nick wondered why it took so long to realize what she meant to him. There was no doubt she did a lot for him, his band, his family, his fans – that she helped make attending Horace Mantis academy worth it. He admired her ability to be so genuine with those she met, and passionate for the things she loved to do. If Nick listed off her good qualities, he'd wonder how he got through most of the year without trying to make a move.

Granted, Nick being rather reserved was nothing new, but he usually knew what he wanted and wasted no time to get it. She was different though. Somehow, she flew under the radar and caught him completely off guard. Even though this night was ultimately for the sake of Joe and Stella, Nick's attention lay heavily on the girl digging her feet in the sand and curling up before the bonfire. He had to admit that even the way she roasted her marshmallow was endearing, ignoring that it was clearly burned on the bottom and that yes – Stella was right – his favorite fedora looked far better on her than on him.

Nick wasn't sure how to deal with the situation, but he was tired of fighting it. Whatever happens, will happen. Forgetting precautions, all he could do was hope for the best and that somehow, she could forgive him.

One month earlier

Nick's fingers graced over his keyboard, ready to hit before the ominous negativity from downstairs interrupted his creative process. It was Joe's groaning and Stella's well-articulated lectures that invaded every inch of space, and it was one of the only reasons why he hated how open the firehouse really was.

In all honesty, this was nothing new. Joe and Stella's relationship had been rocky from the start, but unfortunately their low point just had to arrive with Winter's leave. Nick didn't dare to interrupt them. Learning from Kevin's mistake taught him that anyone who'd ask them to take their conversation outside would get a full serving of hell from Stella. No. Nick knew better.

None the less, he was tired of their arguing. The negativity wasn't inspirational, and really, he just wanted to work on his music in peace.

"Love is in the airrrr…" Kevin sang to the vacuum as he whimsically stepped aside, oblivious to the turmoil from downstairs. He even went as far as to dip the handle, as if it were a dance partner, "every time I look arrrrooound."

"Bad timing, Kev," Nick noted as he stood up to grab his phone from across the room. "That's probably the most ironic song you could sing right now."

Kevin, on the other hand, wasn't fazed. "But it's true, Nick. "Setting the vacuum aside, he threw himself over the edge of Joe's bed, "you know Spring is the season of love. Can't you feel it, bro?" Kevin shot up suddenly, raised his brows with an assuring nod and smirk, "I've got a sixth sense about these things."

"Oh yeah?" Nick asked, though he focused more on locating Macy's number as he figured now would not be the time to engage Kevin in this kind of conversation. "'Least you don't see ghosts."

For a split second Kevin's face went pale (oh the terror it brought), but soon all color returned with a new found curiosity. "Hey, who you calling? Probably shouldn't call anyone over, seeing as you know who-s are arguing"

"You know 'who-s'?" Nick asked, brows furrowed. "That doesn't even.. nevermind." Nick headed into the bathroom and left his brother with no answer. Locking the door behind him, he sighed in relief when Macy picked up.

"Nick of JONAS?" Macy excitedly perked from the other end.

"Hey. Think we can meet before school tomorrow?"

...

"Stella was really fired up…" Macy frowned, patting her face dry before tossing the towel into her locker. It seemed unnecessary to Nick because she didn't look sweaty even after her morning run, but his concerns were better placed elsewhere for the time being. "She just went on about Joe sending mixed signals. I mean Joe interrupting her conversations with other guys isn't enough, but if I were her I'd be happy if Joe were interested to know who I'm talking to at all!"

Ignoring the slight fan-girlish comment, Nick nodded and thought about how far they'd have to go to make sure Joe and Stella resolved their problems… again. "Sounds like last time. All Joe could say yesterday was 'I don't know' as he ate ice cream while watching movies. He was bummed, but definitely confused."

"Poor Joe," Macy frowned, but expressed an even greater concern for the younger Lucas as she turned towards him, "and poor you! Must be difficult writing songs with them arguing."

"Nah, it's not too bad," he assured, "I just want them to clear things up before the weather goes bad. I mean after that long winter, I'd like a refreshing form of inspiration."

Macy agreed enthusiastically, reminding Nick of why she was the right person to turn to for this kind of scheming. "That's understandable… oh, but of course, not that I would really understand.. I'm not a JONAS, just a fan. But I have your best interest at heart, and I would like to think that I'm a friend, too, and not just a fan because really I've been working on that a lot more and- "

"Uh, Macy?" He interrupted.

"Huh? Yes?"

"You're rambling again…"

Though she paused at first, Macy finally relaxed and fell back to her usual smile as she exhaled the breath she'd supposedly held in for – well, who knows how long. "Sorry."

Shaking his head, Nick glanced around the hallway. More students were arriving, which meant the two really had to get down to business. "We need to figure out a way to get those two on good terms again. Getting Joe to apologize with flowers worked well, but it took a lot to get Joe to realize giving flowers was the right way to go in the first place..."

"Oh yes, very true."

"And the movie night worked alright last time, but I doubt that would work again. Lots of popcorn to microwave."

"Well you know Joe and his love for popcorn.."

"And Kevin."

Macy snorted a laugh. "Well, spring break is coming up," She declared, more so to her locker's mirror as she threaded out the braids of her hair with her fingers. "We can plan something then? Something really romantic. Like outdoors and under the stars! And the beach!"

"Hm, that could work..." Nick nodded along, brows furrowing in thought as he ran his thumb under his chin. An idea was coming together now, one that had to be a sure win. One that would allow the firehouse to be left in peace for at least the rest of the season.

Within seconds, Nick's enthusiasm overwhelmed him as he grabbed Macy's shoulders in excitement, facing her head on. "Macy! That's perfect! That's -"

And then he froze.

"W-what? What's wrong?" She asked. Her eyes were wide again and she too froze. Nick was staring her down and she didn't know why, completely oblivious to how well the curls from her braids had framed her face.

"You- ..You're…" Nick's mind was drawing blanks, something that rarely ever happened to him. On any other occasion, Nick would know the right thing to say or take the time to formulate a proper response. But now was different. Now, Nick was at a loss. C'mon, say something! He wanted to let her go and to turn away –stop himself from being so helplessly pulled into Macy's innocent gaze that made his heart unwillingly race. Say something, Nick! At this point, say ANYTHING! "EUROPE!" He finally exclaimed. ...Really? …Okay, maybe you should have kept quiet. "That sounds like Europe.. REMINDS ME of Europe. You know. When we toured there.. before.. outside.."

Smooth.

Luckily, Macy went along and sighed in relief, and Nick was glad she was buying his lame excuse. "Of course! I'm sure it was really beautiful."

Macy's beaming smile, despite the fact that he continued to hold her, struck Nick in a way that surprised him. Things were weird enough, because he already didn't understand how the mere sight of her could suddenly leave him at a loss for words – or at least hinder his ability to critically think about what to say before he'd say it. "Yeah," Nick muttered, "just, gorgeous." He almost let himself get lost again, but after lingering on he finally snapped back and pulled away. "Well right. Good!" He suddenly exclaimed as he cleared his throat and excessively adjusted his backpack on his shoulder. "Great. We'll talk more about it over dinner – I mean lunch. Or I'll call yo- TEXT you. I'll text you." You really need to stop, man.

"Alright, Nick of JONAS." Macy playfully noted, even offering an innocent hand shake. "Pleasure doing business with you! Hope I'll be seeing you again soon,"

"Yeah, me too." Nick added, but quickly regretted. Only then was he finally able to turn away and start heading to class. "Okay, yep. Alright! See you!"

Walking away from Macy was difficult. For the first time, Nick felt torn between turning back to talk to her more (as if he'd know what else to say. Because really, what do you say after that?) or continue walking off, knowing she was watching him leave.

But Nick had to take his lack-of-composure into consideration. He had a reputation to uphold, after all, so not surprisingly he opted for the latter.

...

The school day dragged on forever, and Nick was feeling more irritable by the minute. Not only was he unable to concentrate in class, but he also found himself caught in everyone's drama. Joe would talk to him about Stella. Stella would talk to him about Joe. Kevin would talk to him about Joe and Stella (and cookies), and his Dad kept pestering his phone with frantic questions about the lack of new material (it wasn't often that his dad would text Nick at school, but times were getting desperate). Most of the time, Nick could handle the pressure as all he needed was some time alone to sort things through.

But, on this particular day, whenever he was alone, his mind would wander off to the last thing Nick thought he'd ever think about: Macy's whereabouts.

Maybe Nick was unintentionally avoiding her, or maybe she was avoiding him. Nonetheless, his day had gone completely Macy-less since their morning conversation and he didn't understand why he'd care. He wouldn't have been so distracted by her absence if he didn't.

Despite all struggles though, as soon school ended he found himself looking for excuses to stay. Dealing with his thoughts alone ultimately seemed to be a far better choice than returning to the stress of the firehouse that was surely awaiting him. Furthermore, he hoped that something (or someone) would come turn his day around, and sure enough an unexpected phone call from Macy did just that.

It was a brief conversation, but after failing to write new material in the peacefulness of school's atrium, Nick found himself rushing to the gym to get dressed down - after all, exploring what Macy excitedly described on the phone as "the perfect spot" for Joe and Stella would be best done in clothes that Stella would not kill him over ruining.

Besides, he hoped that finally seeing Macy would help but his mind at rest.

...

Nick was luckily able to follow Macy's lead along the beach trail because yes, Macy was a good leader – not because her pony tail made her hair less distracting than it had been that morning. Even when she teased him about jogging too slow behind her, Nick did not let her get away with it because he was more distracted by her shorts – it was because he "had" to focus on the wooded trail. Who knows? Anyone could easily trip on a tree root.. or a rock.. or something.

Nick did not find it difficult to follow Macy's lead.

Upon reaching the end of the trail, Nick slowed down to a mere walk as he gazed along the secluded coast line. It would be an understatement to assume he was anything less than amazed. "This is amazing, Mace. How'd you find out about this place?"

Macy was a few paces ahead, standing with her hands at her hips as she shrugged. "The cross country team likes to cool off here after summer practices when the days are super hot. It's probably too cold to run into the waves now, but it feels really nice in the summer."

"Yeah, I'd bet."

Nick caught up to Macy, but was still taken back by the view. The beach was by no means as glamorous as those of California or Miami, but it was comfortably small and quiet. They figured this would be the perfect rendezvous point for the lost lovers.

"I'm thinking we should have a bonfire to kick off spring break. Use that to get Joe and Stella together and make up for.. whatever Joe this time."

"That's brilliant!" The brunette exclaimed. "There's even a park nearby with a more accessible path than the cross country trail, so it won't be too hard for people to make it here."

"There's another path?" Nick asked, quirking a brow. "After all that running – you're telling me now there's an easier way to get here?"

Suddenly, Macy went from excited to worried, hands opening and closing from fists (as she always did when she was about to freak-out). It was panic-stricken Macy all over again. "I'm sooo, sorry, Nick! I- I should have told you. But, I was running anyway and I guess I wasn't thinking when I told you. I'm sorry to make you run!"

"Don't worry," Nick laughed, figuring that teasing her wasn't the nicest thing to do after all. "I don't mind."

Slowly, Macy returned back to her original excitement with a relieved sigh. She clapped her hands and bounced off the heels, glad to know Nick wasn't really upset, and even happier to help a JONAS in need. He was glad too, and thankful to have enlisted her help for yet another stop-the-Joe-and-Stella-drama-scheme. Furthermore, he was thankful to be introduced to such a scene! Being there with Macy made him feel at ease. Calm. Collected. At peace. Inspired, even. No, he didn't have a pen or instrument on him, but his mind was racing with creative ideas for tunes and lyrics.

"Are you tired?" Macy asked, already crouched down on the sand and in the middle of untying her running shoes. "I'm going to go soak my feet in the water."

"Huh?"

This time, rather than being overwhelmed by the view, Nick's eyes were stuck on Macy as she skipped away, barefoot and all, towards the incoming waves. She moved in a way that made her seem light, and the delicate imprints her feet made on the sand somehow captured the cheerfulness she exuded. It was a refreshing sight to see, yet caused an unexplainable flutter in his chest.

As soon as she reached the water, she squealed at the cold rush brushed against her ankles. Despite the brisk waves, though, she smiled. She smiled warmly back at Nick as she waved him over to join her.

"Nah, I'm not that sore from running" Nick called out, which wasn't true, but he definitely was not the type to randomly walk into water – not without the proper attire.

"Well at least come here to look!" With that said, Macy pointed out toward the horizon. From his point of view everything looked beautiful enough, but after following her skipped-trail, he was able to see what she wanted him to see all along. This visit was definitely worth the trip. "The sunset's beautiful, right?"

"Yeah..." Nick noted as he slowly approached her, eyes still fixated on the sunset ahead. If it were anybody else, Nick might have thought of this as cliché, but those words coming from Macy felt genuine to him. He really appreciated that.

He glanced over at her, hands stuffed into the pockets of his shorts. He nudged his elbow gently against her arm to grab her attention. He smiled and said, "You're amazing, Macy.."

..But of course, that's not what he really meant to say. Crap!

"I'm amazing?" she asked, bright eyed.

"I- Uh - mean. Your idea. It's. It's all amazing." Nick even threw his arms out of the pockets to motion to their surroundings. "All of it. It's all just.. wow. Great thinking."

"Oh.." She breathed out and glanced down, away from his nervous stare.

For a second, he thought he went too far and maybe he should backtrack. He felt guilty and was ready to speak up again before she looked up with a refreshed smile and a friendly shrug.

"Anything for our friends, right?"

"Right.." He nodded, though less enthusiastically. "it's all for them."

"Heeey Macy!" A familiar voice called out from behind them. "Awesome find, my friend!"

"Oh! Hi Kevin!"

"Kevin?" Suddenly, Nick spun around to find Kevin heading toward them from the park's trail, jogging to meet up with them at the coastline. "What's Kevin doing here?"

"Oh... well, I thought Kevin knew about the whole Joe-and-Stella plan and called him over. Plus! He asked if I knew where you were, so I told him you'd meet me here."

"Yeah, Bro.." Kevin chimed in, resting his arms on both Nick and Macy as he made himself comfortable between the two – much to his brother's dismay. "You weren't answering your phone, and Dad was all, 'hey, where's Nick?' And then I was all, 'oh, I don't know.' Then dad was like, 'he won't answer my text' and I was like 'oh, that's weird' and he was all 'Yeah' and I was like… '…yeah'."

Rolling his eyes and sighing, Nick turned back to Macy. "Do, uh, you need a ride back to school? Or home? I need to head back to get my books and clothes, but I'm sure Kev won't mind driving."

Kevin added a wink and a shake of his head, letting her know he didn't mind it at all.

"Thanks, but no thanks.." She shrugged. Pulling her hair tie out of her hair and letting her locks fall (really? Right now?), she brushed her fingers through to fix her pony tail but unknowingly drew Nick's helpless gaze in. "I should finish my run. Tennis try-outs start tomorrow and I really want to keep my spot on varsity, so I mustn't get lazy!"

"Alright then!" Kevin patted her shoulder and pulled back, "stay safe! Call if you need anything. C'mon, bro."

Kevin started to head back to the park, but Nick found himself torn once again. "Sure you'll be alright?" He asked. It was the gentlemen in him that wanted to be sure Macy would be fine (but if any girl could take care of herself, it'd most likely be Macy Misa).

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She grinned. Her hands then threaded into her hair and pulled it back, and she assured Nick, "I'm gonna head back on the trail anyway."

"Alright.." Offering Macy a casual nod, Nick waved her goodbye before following Kevin's lead. Occasionally along the way, however, he'd peek back at her from over his shoulder, but eventually Macy stopped watching them and instead let her hair fall back down. Only at the beach's exit did Nick see Macy turn back to the water, settling down on the sand to watch the rest of the sunset alone.

After another incredible show, Nick was glad to be back in his own dressing room where he could unwind. Though he loved his fans and his brothers, he also liked his own space, even for just a little while. He plopped on the couch, tearing out of his leather jacket and wiping the sweat from his forehead when someone began knocking on his door.

"Nick?" the person called out as they peaked in through the door.

"Macy!" Perking up and tossing his towel aside, he tried to peek around her to see if she had company, but the door closed quickly behind as she entered alone. "What are you doing here? Didn't know you were coming tonight."

Macy grinned and tip-toed her way across the room towards him. "Of course I'd be here! I am president of the JONAS fan club, after all. I'd never miss a JONAS concert." Macy then bowed a quick curtsy, making Nick laugh and pat the empty spot on the couch beside him.

"Well I'm glad you came," Nick started, at first able to keep eye contact with her before he took in her whole outfit – all of which made him choke on his words. A well fitted black tube dress. A dressy leather jacket. Black heels with wraps that even Nick could barely follow. And her hair, since when did her hair attract him so much? "What, uh.." He had to pause and clear his throat. "What'd you think of the show?"

As Macy claimed her seat beside him, she enthusiastically answered, "Soooo awesome! As always, you guys were ah-mazing!"

"Aw, thanks."

She nodded, but talking about the concert wasn't what she came in for. "Actually – I wanted to talk to you about something else." Oh? Nick thought. Man I hope this won't be bad.. "About Joe and Stella."

"Oh." Of course! "What about them?"

"Well, you know. They work so well together and sure they have their moments… but." Macy bit her lip, pausing to think before adding, "how do you think they, you know, justify their relationship?" Not surprisingly, the confused look on Nick's face tipped Macy off, to which she tried her best to clarify, "As in, why do you think they both know they want to be more than friends, and not just stay... friends?"

It was an odd question to ask, considering that he was neither Joe nor Stella, but Macy looked genuinely curious which thus compelled him to answer. "Dunno... I guess if you like someone and you believe in your friendship enough to make that commitment, why not date your best friend like what Joe and Stella are doing." Nick then shrugged, brows furrowed in thought before adding, "or any friend for that matter. I mean there's a risk, but if you're willing to take that risk, that's got to say something about how strongly you feel about them, right?"

It took Macy a moment to process his words, but soon a calm smile spread across her face and she returned her attention to him. "Yeah, that makes sense. I'd agree."

They nodded – in silence for a while, but Nick didn't mind it much. It was rather comfortable.

"Nick?" Macy asked again.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think... well. We're friends, right?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"Good friends?"

"I'd say so."

"And you know I care about you... not just as a fan, but you know. As a friend!"

"Well, sure. I care a lot about you too."

"Really?" She asked again, this time seeming more nervous.

"'Course. Why wouldn't I?"

Macy paused and held onto her thought. Nick was lost, but soon enough – "How much?"

Um. What? "...Excuse me?"

"How much, you know.. do you care about our friendship?"

Now Nick was for sure lost. Was this a trick question? He'd heard about girls tricking guys into saying the wrong thing and making them pay hell for it later, but he never had much experience with that. And if he did, his brothers were usually around to answer first and essentially test out the waters. But here, Nick was swimming without a life jacket.

"I'm not following... what do you-" And then it hit him.

Oh…

At first he was shocked – frozen, even. Every thought he ever had about Macy raced through his head and he couldn't grasp onto a single one. Emotions came next. All the times he felt uneasy, afraid of the dangers she once brought (though those days were long gone, thankfully), the times she astounded him with her genius ideas and the times she made him so confused that it left him clueless as to what to do.

Is she really asking me if I like her more than a friend?

Nick wasn't sure of anything anymore, and soon enough he lost focus of his actions. One moment he was staring as if he were waiting for the punch line of a joke, and the next he couldn't keep himself from leaning in, lips daring to brush over hers before really going for it.

His hand reached up to gently pull at the back of her neck and keep her in close, and his other slipped over to rest at her hip. He kissed her, and he couldn't control it. He wanted to break free and apologize, but instead he found his lips parting – inviting her in closer.

And much to his luck, Macy didn't resist. Though she was shocked, she quickly eased up and began to press her own lingering kisses against his, hands grazing over his jaw line and along the sides of his neck.

"Nick.." Macy muttered against his lips, her breathing becoming shallow - needing. "I.. really want you…"

"WHOAGHHH!" Nick shot up.

Breathing heavily with sweat dripping down his temples, his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness of his surroundings as Nick found himself facing the window before his bed.

He wasn't in a backstage dressing room. There was no couch and there was no Macy. Instead, Nick was in his room. Alone... minus his brothers (who luckily slept like bricks).

"Whaat the heck was that?" He sighed, feeling physically tired but mentally awake. He leaned forward and rested his forehead to his palms. His skin felt stickier than ever, and the bed sheets felt uncomfortably heavy.

Shaking it off, Nick rolled over and climbed out of his bed. He quietly padded his way towards the bathroom where he hoped to cool down – maybe wash up before going back, but upon meeting the mirror he realized he had another problem at hand.

Or rather, behind the cover of his pajama pants. "Ugh… really?" Feeling embarrassed, he repeatedly reminded himself, it happens to all guys. This isn't uncommon. Get over it and instead opted for a full-on cold shower. Sure it would wake him up, but he felt exhausted enough to pass out soon after anyway, and Nick lacked the determination to properly deal with his… issue (in fact, he had more determination to ignore it).

However, even after showering, he could not help but to visualize scenes from his dream that kept him up for the rest of the night. Macy coming to see him, alone. Macy wearing a dress that just worked. Macy sitting with him, smiling at him. And the most tempting part of it all, though he'd hate to admit it, was the idea of kissing her. No matter what, his mind would always wander back to that exact part of his dream.

And he thought he had more self-control.

next chapter: A Lack of Willpower

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! I'd really appreciate it!