disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Why is it only ever in hindsight that we see that was truly happening at a point in time? It's only looking back that things make sense, why somebody said or did this, why that happened then. If only we knew at the time, maybe everything would have worked out differently. But then, life isn't like that is it? That's rather the point of hindsight. If only I had known, if only he had told me what was happening. But then, he wouldn't be Draco. Draco keeps secrets; he hides behind shadows that he thinks will keep him safe. But they were not safe shadows, they shadows out to get him, to harm him. Maybe I'd have been able to help if I'd only known… then again probably not. What could I have done? Really? Me, a 15 year old schoolgirl. Even if I am a Slythrin, I'm only here because it's expected of me. It's one of the curses of being a non-bloodtraiter pureblood. If only he'd told me.
SLAM
"Why are you dragging me into random classrooms?"
He just stared at me with a blank look on his face, his eyes a whirlwind of emotion.
"Draco? What is it?"
"It's… I... oh Merlin"
"Draco!"
"I can't Astoria, I just can't"
"Can't what? Your scaring me, what's happened? Can't what?"
With a blur of motion his arms were around me in a vice like embrace. He was really starting to scare me now. These somewhat intense hugs were not an uncommon occurrence, at least not within the last few months. Something had been bothering him for ages, but he never tells me what it is. But it's getting worse, especially since potter cursed him. This embrace on the other hand was nearly squeezing me to death, my arms pined to my sides painfully, and the blood flow was being cut off.
"Ow, Draco!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry" he mumbled near my ear while still holding me, but loosening his grip a little.
"It's fine. Draco… what is it?"
"I… oh Merlin I can't tell you, I can't, I can't tell..."
"Ok, it's ok shhhhhh. You don't have to tell. It's fine."
Having managed to unpin my arms, I soothed them softly over his back. Anything to calm him down. Please Merlin don't let him cry. He can't stand to let me see him cry. I don't want him to push me away again, not again. He only came back last time because I'd refused to leave him bedside in the hospital wing.
"Astoria… I… I need you to promise. Promise me you'll stay safe, please promise me.."
"From what Draco?"
"Please, just promise me, promise me!"
"I promise Draco, I promise I'll stay safe."
"Stay in your common room tonight, just stay there. No matter what happened, what you hear, you stay there until sunrise. Okay"
"… Okay, since you've told me to, I'll stay in my room until sunrise. I promise."
As he let go and stepped back. Staring at me to back sure I wasn't lying. After a minute he held out this hand to me.
"Let's go have dinner then."
I smiled at him while taking his hand, so much bigger than mine. He bent over and whispered in my ear, words that I'll never forget.
"I love you, stay safe and trust me."