TITLE: One Day (October 3rd)
CHARACTERS: Logan/Veronica (memories of Lilly)
PLOT: Logan and Veronica will always have October 3rd for each other, no matter what.
Logan and Veronica had always had an understanding. No matter what their status (at war, in love, or in the middle) October 3rd was their day. This was established on the awful day in their sophomore year when her best friend, his girlfriend, was murdered.
Veronica rushed into her room and shut the door behind her ignoring the concerned cries from her parents trailing behind her. She leaped on the bed and grabbed the phone. As much as the image she had just seen was still soiling her mind and thoughts, she knew that the one thing that would have been worse than seeing her best friends mangled and lifeless body, would have been to hear about it on the radio or television, or from anyone who hadn't known her - not like she had. With that in mind, she desperately dialed Logan hoping that she would reach him before the news and consequential bottle of Jack Daniels.
She realized that she was only half successful in her goal as she was greeted by a boisterously happy drunk Logan who pretended to still be in Mexico.
"Ronnie! Wassaap? You in Mehico and in the mood for a partayy?" he happily slurred.
"Logan…" she choked out before breaking down in sobs.
"Hey, Ronnie…what's going on? Why do you sound like Sawyer was just killed off LOST?" he questioned half-jokingly as he began to sober up. When he was only greeted by the sound of his little pixie friend being racked by an immense wave of tears, he questioned, "Really, what happened? C'mon, talk to me…Veronica."
Perhaps it was the rare use of her name with such a purposeful tone, or maybe she just remembered that this is why she called, but regardless she came out with the reason for her call, "Lilly…she's –Oh GOD!" As she was interrupted by her sudden nausea, a concerned boy across town began to run for his car.
"Ronnie, don't worry I'm on my way…but please what about Lilly?" Logan rushed out as he sped down the road breaking more traffic laws than he could count on one hand.
The only response he was granted was the faint muttering of a, "please, just play my CD…nothing else."
When Logan arrived at the Mars residence, he didn't even bother with the front door as he went directly around back and in through the window passage which he had used many times before. He rushed through her room and to the adjoining bathroom to find her crouched over the toilet lurching forward violently in an attempt to empty what appeared to be an already empty stomach. He immediately pulled her hair back and began to rub gentle circles on her back in attempt to soothe her. As she finished heaving he helped her up to the sink to clean off her mouth and then led her back to her bed. "Ronnie, you gotta tell me what's going on. Please?" He asked beginning to show how desperate he was.
After many strangled breaths, Veronica managed to cough out the two words that would not stop repeating over and over in her head, "She's gone. She's…gone." And with that she broke down burying her face in his chest and soaking his new green button down. His arm immediately reached around her back and began to rub absentminded patterns as he tried to process what she meant hoping that against all odds it was some mistake and she had just said the wrong words and that it wasn't true. It couldn't be true.
He scooped her up and began carrying her to her bed as he also began trying to clarify the situation. After many shed tears on both of their behaves, Veronica had managed to share all of the details that she knew, emotionally stumbling over how she came across the body of her best friend who had always been so full of life, always shining so brightly, now completely lifeless.
By the time the clock hit 11:11, they both felt that they had no more tears to shed and both silently wished that this was all a dream. A horrible, awful, life-ruining dream. They both wished that she was back and Veronica could swear that they heard a giggle in the room followed by the slightest image of a joyful blonde strutting across the room that winked and said, "Remember me as I was! And don't forget, you're red satin dorkus!" And then she was gone.
With that Veronica, in a burst of sudden confidence and memorial for her best friend, jolted up and demanded that Logan follow her as she shot out of her window and toward his beloved XTerra. They hopped into the car and drove until they hit the spot on the beach they had occupied only a few months ago and drank until the stars were the only things left they could see, other than each other, and fell asleep with the few exchanged words of, "I miss her" followed by the slurred, "me too," and the final uttering by a man who was really only a boy scarred by more sorrow at his age than anyone should have to face, ever, enhanced by the murder of his, less than faithful but non-the-less fabulous and love-demanding, girlfriend of, "I can't do this without you, promise me I won't have to." The simple response was a nod of the head followed by a single tear sliding down the girl, whose innocence had just been cracked,'s already tear-stained cheek. As he sweetly wiped the tear away with the pad of his thumb, his hand cupped her cheek before placing a delicate and tender kiss on her forehead. They fell asleep like that, cuddled on the sand, but awoke wrapped up in each other with his arm draped over her petite body and their legs intertwined.
That understanding is the reason that these two people who had become experts at avoiding each other all throughout the end of the spring semester of their freshman year and well into their sophomore year found each other together again on the same spot on the beach that they visit every year. The avoidance was probably assisted by the fact that Veronica had sunken into one of her loner phases with Wallace deciding to stay in Africa for the next semester and Mac consumed in her computer classes and trying to help a wounded Dick Casablancas heal after the heartbreaking sober apology he made to her two weeks after that day at the beach. Logan, however had decided to be a dutiful student this semester by attending all of his classes and giving himself a full course load in order to graduate in a simple four years. While doing this, he had been catching quite a few longer-than necessary glances of Veronica, his Veronica – she would always be his as far as he's concerned, he knew her better than anyone after their years of knowing each other. Despite all of the turmoil and change they'd been through in the past four years the beach was still their same sacred spot.
As they sat on the sand, bottle of Jack in hand, the same memories arose that always did. They spoke of Lilly and all that she was and all that she would have been.
"Y'know 'Ronica," he began using his nickname that was now saved for these nights and these alone, "I think Lilly would love who you are now so much. I've just been thinking about it lately and I remember she always used to say there was more to you than what I saw, what everyone saw, and she was right. She always knew the strength you had and I think she would almost love this you, despite the situations that created this change, more than she loved you then. Almost. But she loved you then so much that it would be hard to love more."
"Yeah well, Logan, she loved you too. She may not have showed it in the healthiest or most obvious ways but I could always see her deflate a little when you walked in the room and you two weren't together. And when you were, oh man, she would go on and on about the things you could do and even though she never said it, I think she would've come to her senses after high school. She would've seen what you had to offer and she never woulda let you go."
"C'mon, you know that's not true. The brightness Lilly was is a kind that doesn't burn away; it explodes, she never would have made it past high school. Something had to happen to ignite the flame; I think I always knew it but never really wanted to admit it. But at least this way, our last times with her, she was alive as ever. She was so bright and full of life when I saw you guys at the car wash that I almost thought you were lying to me, that it was some cruel trick of hers trying to see how I'd react but I knew that she wouldn't have sunken that low."
"You think I didn't feel that way? I saw her body lying lifeless by the pool. I half expected Ashton Kutcher to hop out of the bushes and Lilly to leap up and do a dive into the pool. As I looked at her, it was the weirdest feeling that I have ever felt, to this day. I had never seen her so absolutely dull. Even when she was hung-over she had a shine to her brighter than this. I thought of all the times we had sat and talked on the loungers not five feet from where I stood, all the times we went swimming in this pool and she dunked me under the water, all the times when she would strut around trying to get your attention after a fight and all the times she begged me to loosen up as she demanded on going skinny dipping – the fact that Duncan or, better yet, Celeste could walk outside at any minute making the challenge all the more worth it. Man how I regret never doing those things with her. And then I realized it was real, she was gone and I would never get the chance to do those things again."
As the night went on, they talked more and more about memories with Lilly, challenges she had issued to each of them and things they would never forget—"You, lover, need to learn to take some chances, say 'what the hell' to Daddy Dearest and come home drunk in the middle of one of his dinners, or make out with one of his friends. Hell I do it all the time to Celeste," or, "You are a STAR, Veronica Mars! A bright star that just needs its chance to shine!" As this last one was revealed, Veronica began to finger at her necklace that still hung around her neck.
As the two of them sat there, they knew that this didn't mean anything. It was simply tradition. As much as Logan wanted to honor his lover Lilly by recreating the 'fabulous' controversial couple he made with the blonde right beside him (which he was sure she would have supported fully probably saying something like 'She's the only one I would ever consider sharing you with anyway, Lover,' followed by a wink), he knew that this did not make them back together. Although he knew it would happen, they were epic after all, he knew he would have to wait it out.
As much as Veronica wished that tonight could be repeated in all of the nights in the near future, she also knew that she would not fall asleep in the safe and warm arms of Logan Echolls the next night, or even the one after that. Although she knew that he would take her back with open arms whenever she was ready, she also knew that this time would be the last time. It would really be all or nothing and she had to be sure that she could truly let him in this time, because if she failed to trust him, it wouldn't just be a breakup, it would be the end. She couldn't handle the ups and downs and she wanted to ensure that it was going to be a majorly flat road ahead when, not if, they resumed their intense relationship. If this time didn't work out, there was no going back, just away. When they reunited, she would be able to say I love you without hesitation, but until then, they still had October 3rd.
Authors Note: So I'm considering putting up more chapters to this that include October 3rd in the years before. I tried to stay away from the self deprecation just in case I do add more chapters, because I feel like they would have been more critical and negative in the earlier years, especially the first. Let me know what you think and if you want them in the comments! And please do review, it's surprising how good it makes you feel even if it is only 'loved it' although I'd really appreciate more. Also, if someone wants to be my beta in the future, I'd love to have someone tell me what parts of the story they want me to focus on and correct me, so just review or PM me. I really hope you enjoy it, I kinda just came up with the idea and started writing...not much revision.