I do not own Harry Potter

September 1st.

"Victoire, I'm leaving for Auror training next week."

"Teddy!"

"It's what I want to do, love. Our war may be over, but look at Australia! Have you not seen what's going on over there?"

"I know, Ted, but-"

"What?"

"Please be careful." I whispered. He cupped his hands around my face and kissed me softly. It was one of the best things in the world, kissing Teddy. I don't know how I'm going to cope when I'm at Hogwarts and he's all the way over in-"

"EWWWW!" I heard shouted from behind me. We quickly broke apart and saw James and Fred giggling uncontrollably on the platform floor.

"Oh, sod off." Teddy said as the boys ran off. He turned back to me and to me and asked, "Now where were we?"

December 5th

"Come on, Vic." My roommate Anne said, attempting to pull me off my bed. She was all dolled up, dark blue dress and her hair in a neat bun on the top of her head. Of course it would be neat; I'm the one who did it.

"No." I said, and went back to my letter to Teddy. We'd been writing to each other since he left. Sometimes it took him weeks to write back, because he was constantly on the move. He couldn't tell me much since everything was classified. If he did the writing that gave away information was whited out by the people who worked in the mailroom.

"It's the freaking Christmas dance, Victoire. Come on, have a little fun. You've been such a Debbie downer all year" she pouted. "Come on; have some fun with your best friend?"

I sighed and rolled up my letter. "I suppose."

December 24th

"Where's Teddy?" I asked Aunt Ginny. "He said he'd be home on Christmas."

"Something came up my dear, I'm afraid he won't be coming back until next year." She gave me a sad and understanding smile and hugged me tight. "I know how you feel, Hun. It'll be alright."

I held back tears. I have to be strong. For Teddy: He'd want me to enjoy Christmas.

How can I enjoy it without him?

Be strong. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, Breath out. Keep breathing.

I watched as Lucy and Lilly ran around outside in the snow, happy and carefree and innocent. I was reminded of Teddy and me, doing the same thing all those years ago.

I wish I had a pensieve. I'd go back in time and just watch all those good times we had. I'd probably stay in there forever.

Breathe, Victoire.

March 15th

"You have two hours to complete the written test. I may answer no questions. Good luck." Mrs. Dover said in her usual strict voice as she handed out the last of the tests. "Begin."

I picked up my pencil and let it fly across the page, answering question after question. History of Magic was a breeze, even on Newt level. I was halfway done when I got to the question.

"How many casualties where there in the legendary Battle of Hogwarts?"

I knew the answer, 786. I've known that for years. It was the question that threw me off guard; the meaning behind it.

Casualties…Battle…War…

Teddy.

Deep breathes, Victoire. This is your Newt finals; you can't go breaking down in the middle of one.

Why do they call them casualties anyway? It's not casual; sure it happens a lot, Heck! It happens all the time! But there's nothing casual about it, they had families, families that were broken and destroyed without them.

Teddy…

Come on Victoire. Write the numbers down, I know you know how to do it, you've been writing for eleven freaking years. Come one now, 7….8…6. Wright the God damned numbers!

I felt tears stream down my face, and I tried to shake them off. I felt Anne's eyes on the back of my head and I tried to calm down.

Anne understands…she's here for you. You can tell her about it later, don't let everyone see you break down. You're stronger than that.

"Miss Weasley?" Is everything all right?" Mrs. Dover asked with as much care as I've ever heard come out of her mouth.

I started shaking my head franticly. I'm not sure if I was saying no or was just trying to shake away the madness.

"Miss Weasley? Victoire?"

No. no. no. no. no. no.

Everyone's looking at me now. They probably think I've gone insane.

"No!" I shouted and broke down in tears.

"Victoire?" Anne asked, standing up and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"No!"

I ran out of the room and through the corridor, tripping multiple times and crying all the way through. I was pretty bruised up and probably looked like hell by the time I got to the big brass door. I knocked on the eagle knocker with more force than I probably should. Not that I care. I don't care about anything.

Teddy…

"Where do departed souls go?"

"I dunno, do I?" I shouted angrily. "Just let me the hell in, dammit!" I pounded madly on the door, and then slid down it and onto my knees.

Deep breaths, Victoire. What would Teddy do?

Teddy…

July 9th

"Come on, Anne! I bet I can beat you down the hill."

"Hippogriff crap! You're on Weasley!"

I know what you're probably thinking, 'Where's the Victoire that was crying and broken down girl from back in March? The one that looked like she could break any second?'

Well she's gone. Teddy's coming to visit in three days.

Teddy….

We sped down the hill, both of us almost falling off multiple times and laughing hysterically all the way."

"No, I got there first!"

No, I'm pretty sure I did, Weasley."

"No!"

"No!"

"No!"

"NOOO!"

Both of us whipped around to face Teddy's grandmother's house, where the cry had come from.

What I saw that day will never leave my mind. I have never seen so much grief on someone's face as I did on Andromeda's. It will haunt me until I die.

Two men in military uniforms were standing next to her. One I recognized to be Gregory Finnegan, Teddy's best friend.

Anne and I dropped our bikes in the middle of the road, not caring if they got ran over or not. We ran up to the front porch, where Andromeda was clutching the side of the door; shaking and wheezing and crying. She didn't seem to have control of her face, that's how hard she was crying.

"Greg? What-"

I stopped short when I realized he had tears swimming in his eyes as well.

I have never seen Greg cry. Not even when he broke his jawbone during Quidditch. Not when Venomous Trancuila grabbed him around the waist and flung him around.

I stopped short and suddenly realized what was happening.

Teddy…

"Victoire…I am so sorry. I did everything I could, you know that right?" He asked desperately, holding onto my hands.

"I-I-I…."

Teddy…

"I really am sorry Victoire." He said, tears coming down in abundance now. "I loved him just as much as you did. Please forgive me, I have to-"

He didn't seem to be able to go on, and just dropped a pair of dog tags over my head and walked away, being supported by the other Auror.

Teddy…

"No!" I shouted after him. "I don't believe you! You're lying to me!" I was leaning on Anne now; I couldn't stand on my own.

Greg turned around slowly, and I knew the truth before he even spoke the words.

"Teddy is dead."

July 12

I looked in the mirror at my black dress, pearls, and black high heels. I looked normal and alright, as long as you didn't look at my eyes. If you did you would see the dark circles from my lack of sleep and my red eyes from crying nonstop. Other than that I looked the same. Beautiful, blonde, blue eyed, vela, perfect Victoire.

Perfect? I'm far from perfect. Teddy was perfect.

Teddy…

Breathe in, breathe out.

"Come on Victoire, zees are going to be late." Mum said in her French accent.

I didn't move. I couldn't if I wanted to.

"S'il vous plaît, Victoire. Nous allons être en retard."

I nodded slowly. "Juste une minute. Je serai juste là."

She came over and hugged me tight. It took all I had not to just break down and curl up in her lap. But I'm not a child anymore. An adult would take it like man.

Breathe in, breathe out.

The car ride to the funeral home was awful. Dominique, who thought of Teddy as her older brother, looked as if she was going to pass out then and there. I couldn't do anything for her though. How could I?

Luis, sweet, innocent, 13 year old Luis was trying to play the role of protector. He was handling me as if I was about to break, holding my hand softly and whispering in French in my ear. A thirteen year old shouldn't have to take care of his seventeen year old sister.

A thirteen year old shouldn't have to lose his role model.

A fifteen year old shouldn't have to lose her older brother.

A seventeen year old shouldn't have to lose her fiancé.

Teddy…

Deep breathes.

In, out. In, out.

The funeral home was beautiful. It looked like an 18th century Victorian home, the ones only the extremely rich could own.

Luis was staring at it in awe, his hand still in mine. I don't know why, but the look on his face seemed funny. Hilarious even. I had to keep myself from laughing, that's how funny it was.

I think I've snapped.

People keep talking to me, some are friends, and some are complete strangers. They all say the same thing. "Oh, Victoire. I'm so sorry for your loss." I'm not really listening anymore; not paying attention to their faces. I just want to leave.

We all sat in the rows of chairs lined up, listening to the preacher talk about Teddy. It's all generic things, lived a fulfilling life, died for what was right, cared for his family, blah blah blah. He didn't understand what happened, he didn't even know Teddy. I just want him to shut up.

Now Mam is making us go 'pay our respects.' This pretty much translates to 'cry over Teddy's open casket'. I don't want to. I don't want to look at him, he promised forever. I can't look at him, I can't.

I'm standing in front of the casket with my eyes closed tight. I can hear Mam and Dominique sobbing, and from the way his hand feels, I'm guessing Luis is shaking a little. Even my dad's breathing is a little uneven.

"Victoire" he says from somewhere. I'm not for sure where. I can't tell which way is up or down anymore. "Open your eyes, please."

I shook my head, causing me to feel even woozier. Luis stops shaking and squeezes my hand, and I know I have to.

Teddy is laying there in a casket; not looking any different than he did that day at King's Cross. Same turquoise hair, tan skin and dark eyelashes. I noticed a scar on his left cheek that hadn't been there before.

I started to shake a little, and felt my dad hold onto my shoulder. Mam started whispering calming words in French, and Dom wrapped her arms around my waist comfortingly, and suddenly I realized something.

Things will never be the same, but I have a feeling things will be alright.

This is my first attempt at writing anything this dark. Sorry if I sucked, but practice makes perfect right? Review please!