More Puerile Pranks
"I hate this," Principal Kelly grumbled as he sat in his office while filling out some forms. "Having to come in to school to work on a weekend should be against the law. Especially for people who are already overworked! Practically the whole teaching staff is here. What's left of them anyway. Well, at least I'll be able to work without any interruptions today."
KA-BOOOOOOM!
"What was that?" Kelly yelped and ran out the door. "Please tell me it wasn't the vending machines exploding again…AAARRRGGGHHH!" He stopped dead in his tracks. "WHO PAINTED ORANGE AND PURPLE STRIPES ALL OVER THE HALLWAYS?"
"HELP! SOMEBODY GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Kelly ran down the redecorated hallway to the art room. He found the art teacher trapped in an enormous blob of clay. "Principal Kelly! Somebody rolled me up in here and I can't get out! And all of the paint supplies are missing!"
"Kelly!" A history teacher ran up to him. "All the toilets in the boys' bathroom are overflowing! Water is coming out and rushing everywhere!"
"Oh no!" Kelly groaned.
"Mr. Kelly! Mr. Kelly!" A younger teacher appeared around the corner. "Somebody set off some smoke bombs in the teachers' lounge!"
"WHAT?" Kelly yelled and ran off again.
"Hey! Don't just leave me like this!" The trapped art teacher shouted after him.
"Quick! Somebody get a fire extinguisher!" Kelly shouted.
"It's no use! We can't get any of them to work!" The younger teacher warned. "When we try to use them the only thing they shoot out is silly string!"
"Huh? How in the heck is that possible…AAAHHHHHH!" Kelly slipped on a liberally waxed section of floor and went sliding into a wall.
WHAM!
"Ohhh," Kelly moaned.
"HELP! SOMEBODY STOP THIS THING!" A poor teacher screamed while frantically steering the school's ride-on lawn mower down the hallway. "MY PANTS ARE GLUED TO THE SEAT AND THE BRAKES ARE STUCK!"
WHIZ! WHIZ! WHIZ!
"LOOK OUT! THE COMPUTERS ARE ATTACKING!" The computer science teacher dove out of the computer lab while having CD's shot at her. "YEEEOOOWWW! THAT HURTS!"
"Ugh. Did someone get the number of that semi?" Kelly blinked as he slowly got to his feet.
POOOOOOF!
"OH MY GOSH! THE SMELL! THE SMELL!" A physics teacher fled from a classroom with tears streaming down his cheeks.
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Another teacher ran by while being chased by a large floor scrubber.
"Yikes!" Kelly panicked and frantically headed for the main office.
"SOMEBODY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" A teacher screamed from where she had been duct taped to the ceiling.
"AAAHHHHHH!" Yet another teacher opened a door to a faculty bathroom and was buried beneath an avalanche of basketballs.
THUNK!
"HELP ME! I'M GONNA BE SICK!" A large trash can rolled down the hallway with a pair of legs sticking out of it.
"I gotta do something about all this!" Kelly gasped as the lights began to fizzle on and off.
"WHO DREW SMILEY FACES ON ALL THE CLOCKS?" A teacher shouted in the distance.
"AAARRRGGGHHH! THERE'S SOAP ALL OVER THE STAIRS!" Someone else yelled. "WAIT A SECOND! THIS ISN'T THE HAND RAILING!"
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
"AAAHHHHHH!" The computer science teacher screamed as the locks to an entire row of lockers began to explode, scattering the lockers' contents all over the hallway.
Kelly reached the main office, grabbed the phone and desperately hit the speed dial. "Come on! Come on!"
"Hello?"
"Mr. Murphy!" Kelly shouted into the phone. "I need you to come into school right now! It's an emergency!"
"Oh no, not you," The voice groaned. "Kelly it's the weekend and I've worked hard all week. I'm not going in."
"But you have to! You're the custodian! " Kelly babbled frantically. "The whole school's coming apart and you need to do something about it!"
"Forget it Kelly."
"NO I'M NOT GONNA FORGET IT! I'M THE BOSS AND I ORDER YOU TO COME IN NOW!" Kelly screamed.
FOOOOOOM!
"AAARRRGGGHHH! WHERE DID ALL THIS SHAVING CREAM COME FROM?" A teacher wailed from down the hallway.
"Alright, fine!" Mr. Murphy snapped on the phone. "But when I get there we're gonna have to talk about increasing my salary."
"YOU WANT A RAISE? YOU MAKE MORE THAN THE TEACHERS!" Kelly yelled.
"And with good reason! Who's the one who literally takes care of the whole school single-handed? Me! I'm the only custodian who stayed on after that whole monsters at the dance episode. And it was hard enough keeping things together before that. You think it was easy cleaning up after the Brotherhood all the time? I deserve every cent of my pay and more! If it wasn't for me Bayville High would be nothing more than a junk heap!"
WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!
"LOOK OUT! THE WATER FOUNTAIN IS ON FIRE!"
"It's being turned into a junk heap as we speak! You have to come in!" Kelly shouted.
"What about my salary?"
"I'll give you some of mine! Just hurry up and get over here!" Kelly slammed down the phone and ran back into the hallway.
"Principal Kelly! All the seats in the auditorium have been torn out and crammed into the guidance office!" The drama teacher shouted running up to him.
BOOOOOOM!
"YEEEOOOOOOWWWWWW! WHO PUT A TACK BOMB ON MY CHAIR?" Someone else was heard screaming in the distance. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"
"Hey Kelly!" The history teacher waved at him while holding a cell phone. "Mr. Sherman is calling saying he was ambushed in the band room and thrown inside the cafeteria freezer. There are three other teachers with him and they can't get out!"
POOOOOOF!
"THAT'S IT! I QUIT!" A shaving cream covered teacher staggered out of a classroom and headed for the parking lot. "I can't take it anymore!"
"Ms. Lynch, please come back!" Kelly pleaded.
"Forget it Kelly! I'm outta this nuthouse!" Ms. Lynch shouted stomping out the door. "HEY WHERE'S MY CAR?"
"Principal Kelly!" A teacher rushed in from the parking lot. "Somebody managed to put Ms. Lynch's car up on the school roof! And six other cars have been broken into and filled with creamed spinach from the cafeteria!"
"AAAHHHHHH! MY CAR!" Several teachers bolted and ran for the parking lot.
"This can't be happening to me! It has to be a dream!" Kelly whimpered just as a dripping wet male teacher stumbled around a corner. "Mr. Williams? What happened to you?"
"I'll tell you what happened! A bucket of mud fell on my head right before I tripped on some tennis balls and tumbled into the pool!" Mr. Williams snapped.
"Pool? What pool?" Kelly blinked. "Bayville High doesn't have a pool."
"It does now! The water pipes in the gym must have burst because the whole place is flooded!" Mr. Williams spat.
"WHAT? MY GYM!" Kelly screamed. "NOT MY GYM! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE GYM THAT GETS DESTORYED! WHY NOT SOMETHING POINTLESS LIKE THE HOME EC. LAB OR SOMETHING!"
"MMMMMMFFF!" A pair of gagged, blindfolded teachers hopped down the hallway while tied up with jump ropes.
"FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE SOMEBODY HELP ME!" The teacher on the ride-on lawn mover flew by again.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" Kelly pulled on his hair and headed back for his office. "I don't believe this! Why is all this happening? It must be the mutants! Yeah, that's it! It's the mutants who are behind all this! I'll get them for this if it's the last thing I ever…WHAT THE HECK?" Kelly gaped at his bare office. "WHERE'S ALL MY FURNITURE?"
CRAAACCCKKK!
"Huh?" Kelly looked up just before the lightweight ceiling tiles his furniture had been glued to gave out. "Mommy…"
CRASH!
SMASH!
CRUNCH!
Outside Kelly's office window crouched four familiar figures. "Well, that was fun," Remy commented.
"It sure was!" Pyro giggled. "It would have been even better if you had let me set fire to the gym instead of flooding it."
"Nah. It would have interfered with Sabes' efforts to mess with the ventilation system," Remy waved. "You did manage to mess with it right?"
"Oh yeah," Sabertooth grinned. "Every incoming air duct is stuffed with frozen fish sticks. When they thaw out this place will stink for weeks."
"Okay. Damage has been done. Can we please leave now?" Piotr sighed.
"Yeah, we're done here. At least until next time," Remy smirked as the Acolytes quietly slipped away from the school.
Back in his office Kelly painfully laid buried beneath a dented filing cabinet and the broken remains of his desk. "Ohhh…I need to get a new job."
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.