Long Time Gone

Buck Cannon sat on the edge of the stream wondering why he'd come all this way if he didn't intend to see it through. He hadn't been here in quite a long time and didn't know what kind of reception he'd get if he went all the way. So, he'd chickened out and just stayed right here for over a week now.

Well, it could be worse. The weather was warm and he had plenty of food and water. What he lacked, he wasn't even sure existed anymore. There was one way to find out if it did, but he was too big a coward to just go see. He wondered how long he might sit here before he decided to either forge on or go back. Go back where? He tried to think of a place to go, but none of them was the place he felt he needed to be. The place he needed to be was about a half mile forward, but he was no longer sure if anybody there needed him. He fingered the small light-blue stone in his shirt pocket and pulled it out and looked at it. He'd found it in a stream bed in Virginia and it immediately brought on thoughts of his nephew, Blue; so he'd kept it in his pocket since then, pulling it out when he was feeling homesick or just plain sad. He gave it one last rub with his thumb and placed it back in his shirt pocket and gave the pocket a pat.

He was wearing an outfit that was all black – shirt, pants, and vest. Even his cowboy hat was black. At his last stop, they'd asked him why he was in black. Was he in mourning? He told them he might have been. Less than a year ago, he'd been wearing gray. Now, the gray reminded him of young men being killed and decent folk losing their homes and young kids having no home, no parents, and no future. He couldn't wait to get out of those gray clothes. He also couldn't stand to wear the dark blue that was popular at the time. Dark blue was what the 'blue bellies' wore when they killed young boys and burned homes and barns and stole horses and cattle and destroyed livelihoods. No sir, he wouldn't wear blue either. He'd just stick with black for now.

Hearing a noise, Buck ducked out of sight and watched. He wasn't a wanted man or anything, but he also didn't want to be found just yet. He'd had false alarms before when a deer or bear passed by this spot, but this time felt different. He soon heard footsteps, and not ones that were trying to be quiet. So, he stayed in his hiding spot and waited.

Soon, a young boy appeared carrying a homemade fishing pole and a can that likely contained worms. The boy was dressed in the typical white cotton shirt and dark gray pants; although he was none too clean. He wore a straw hat that protected him from the sun. Buck could just see light-colored hair sticking out from under the hat, but nothing else as the boy had his back to him. From his size, Buck would say he was around ten or so. He'd have to be real quiet or the black and tan hound dog that followed the boy's every move would alert him to Buck's presence.

As Buck watched, the boy sat down on the bank of the stream and pulled a worm from the can. He picked up the end of the line on his homemade fishing pole and worked the worm onto the homemade hook, then tossed it into the water. The hound dog, much to Buck's relief, lay down next to the boy and put his head in the kid's lap. The boy just sat there, appearing to be deep in thought; although Buck could have sworn he heard a sniffling sound occasionally.

After a while, the boy started to talk to the dog as he absently stroked the dog's ears. "Jack, I'm so glad you're here. You're my best friend right now. Since Pa's been back, I ain't got no friends left. He's done chased 'em all off." Then the boy started to cry. "I sure wish Uncle Buck was here. Me and Uncle Buck used to fish together when he was here. Pa did too, but he don't have time for that no more. Least ways, that's what he said when I asked him."

Buck couldn't believe his ears. Was that Blue? What was he doing so far from home? He knew he wasn't supposed to go so far. Then Buck realized that his Blue Boy was no longer seven. He'd be about twelve now. Should he say something or just keep hiding? He wanted to observe a little longer, although he was itching to grab the boy and never let him go again. He hoped they could pick up where they left off five years ago and be best friends again.

He watched for a little while and noticed that the boy didn't catch any fish. Maybe the trip wasn't really for fishing, but more for just being alone. Buck remembered doing the same thing at that age. His Pa expected much more from Buck than Buck was prepared to give so he escaped when he could. He paid dearly for it when he returned, but a day of solitude was worth it. The poor kid started to cry again and Buck just couldn't stand not doing anything. It was time to let Blue know that he was there.

Looking around, Buck picked up a small clump of mud and tossed it, hitting his target right between the shoulder blades. When the boy turned around, Buck could see the blue eyes he'd missed for so long and knew for sure that this boy was his nephew. The boy couldn't see him, so he turned back to the stream and his fishing pole. Buck picked up another clump of mud and tossed it, this time, hitting the boy's hat and knocking it off his head. The boy turned more quickly this time, but still couldn't see Buck in his hiding place. The look on his face was a mixture of fear and irritation. Buck continued to lay low until Blue had his back to him again.

This time, instead of tossing mud, he called to Blue, "Hey Little Boy Blue, ya' catchin' any fish?"

Blue turned and replied, "Who wants to know?" This time, Buck had stepped out from his hiding place and into view. Blue was frozen in disbelief.

Buck was enjoying the shock on Blue's face. "Why, it be yore ol' Uncle Buck. That's who." Then he laughed.

Blue forgot the fishing pole and dog and ran to Buck with his arms wide open. "Uncle Buck! Is it really you? I missed you!"

Buck was nearly knocked off his feet by the impact but managed to lift his half-grown nephew off the ground and swing him around twice before setting him back on his feet. He hated to let him out of his embrace, but wanted to get a good look at the boy, so he took him by the shoulders and pushed him back about arms' length. Looking Blue up and down, his gaze came back to meet those impossibly blue eyes that he hadn't looked into for quite a while. This was his Blue Boy alright. "I missed ya' too, Blue! I thought about you every day and then some. Boy, ain't you about growed up! Yer almost as big as me!" He kissed Blue's forehead then pulled him back to him and just held him for several minutes. Tears were streaming down Buck's face just as they were streaming down Blue's face but neither one cared.

Buck pushed Blue back a few inches so that he could look at him again and noticed the tear stains on his cheeks. He wiped at them to no avail. Moving the both of them to the stream bank, he took out his handkerchief and wetted it in the stream; then cleaned their faces. "Can't have you goin' home lookin' like that. Aw, Blue, you're a sight for sore eyes. I ain't never seen nothin' purtier, even with that welt and bruise on your cheek. Where'd ya' git them?" Blue turned away muttering about not wanting to talk about it so Buck let it drop.

Buck hugged Blue to him again. After he released him, he knelt down and picked up the fishing pole, then sat down on the stream bank and put the line back into the water. Blue sat next to him. "Where ya' been, Uncle Buck? Pa's been back better than six months. I heard Ma and Pa talkin' about how maybe you were dead since nobody heard from ya'."

"Well, Blue, that's a long story. For one, word didn't travel too well where I was at. And, after I found out the war was over, I had to take a little detour to help out a friend."

The fishing pole started to vibrate then and they carefully lifted a nice trout out of the water. "Ya' got a line to attach this fella' to? He looks like he'd be mighty good fried up with some cornbread. Reckon if we get us a few more, we'd have supper."

Blue reached into his pocket for the necessary items and hung the fish up. They spent the afternoon talking and fishing. Buck asked Blue what he was doing all the way out here. Blue hesitated, but knew not to lie to his uncle. "I just had to get away from Pa for a while."

"Does It have sumthin' to do with the bruise on yer' cheek?" Buck asked.

Blue looked down at the toes of his shoes and shrugged his shoulders. Buck knew he wouldn't get an answer, so he tried another question, "Well, are ya' gonna' git in trouble fer runnin' off?"

"Prob'ly get another beatin' or Ma and Pa'll fight about it. Pa fights with everybody since he's been back. Grandpa is mad at him too 'cause he's talkin' about movin' away. Grandpa don't want me and Ma ta' go away. I don't wanna' go away either, but Ma says she'll follow Pa if he wants to go. I guess I'm stuck in the middle."

Buck hated to hear all this. Before the war, he knew his brother to be a good husband and father. But war can change a man. It changes the way he looks at people and things. But, he was having trouble figuring out why his brother would want to move Annalee away from her family. John always considered family to be the most important. "Now that yer talkin', Blue Boy, tell me about that mark on yer cheek. Where'd that come from?"

"Uncle Buck, I didn't do what Pa says I did. I'm not even real sure what he thinks I did. All I know is that he hit me."

"Well, I reckon he thought he had a reason or he wouldna' done it. Start at the beginnin' and we'll see if we can figure it out."

"It started when Mr Reese and Sarah came over. Pa and Mr Reese was talkin' and Sarah and me went to the barn to see the new kittens I found last week. We was standin' in the manger lookin' at the kittens when she moved real close and she fell on me and we both ended up in the hay. We was gittin' back up when Pa and Mr Reese came into the barn. Pa yelled at me and jerked me out of the manger by the arm and Mr Reese did the same to Sarah. Pa said I'd shamed the family. I still don't know how fallin' down can shame the family. When I tried to ask Pa, he hit me." Buck wanted to laugh at the innocence of his nephew not knowing what the two kids rolling around in the hay must have looked like, but he could see the tears starting again so he refrained from laughing.

"Blue, ya' know how married people…" How should he say this? "You know how they hug and kiss each other and hold hands?" He watched Blue's nose wrinkle up and his eyes get big and didn't need to say anything else.

"You mean Pa thought that me and Sarah was…? Oh no…that's just…yuck!" As Blue spoke, he became more horrified. Now, Buck couldn't hold his laughter. "Uncle Buck! That ain't funny! I'm just a kid!"

"I reckon your Pa wants ta' keep ya' that way too."

Blue got quiet. "Uncle Buck, will you come home with me? You still have a room there. Ma kept it up for ya'. I missed ya' somethin' awful."

"I wasn't gonna', but it sounds like we shore need each other. Let's go home, Blue." The smile he received was worth all the yelling his big brother was bound to do when he saw him. After retrieving his horse and few possessions, they picked up the fish and the other things Blue brought and, with his arm around Blue's shoulders, they walked back to the homestead that he'd called home before the war called him away over five years ago.

The homestead really hadn't changed much. The cabin and barn both appeared to be in good shape, although there were recent repairs on both. John had been busy since he'd been back. There were new calves and piglets in the barnyard. Hens pecked at the ground with their chicks, a big red rooster standing nearby. As Buck approached the barn with Blue and the horse and hound dog, John stepped out the door and stared.

Buck walked up to him and said, "Hello Brother John! Good to see you again!" He put his hand out and was surprised to see John break into a big smile as they shook hands.

"Buck! Where have you been? We'd about given up on you since we hadn't heard anything! It's good to have you back!"

"It's good to be back, John. It looks like the old place is in good shape. How long have you been back?"

"Oh, I got back about six months ago. Bring your horse to the corral. I'll get him some feed. You are staying, aren't you?" They removed the horse's saddle and bridle and Buck retrieved his saddle bags. Then John said, "Let's go into the house. I'm sure Annalee will be happy to see you. You can tell us about where you've been all these months." John put his hand on Buck's shoulder and they walked to the house where Annalee was preparing supper.

Annalee met them at the doorway and gave Buck a hug. Stepping back to look at him, she said, "What kept you? We've been so worried. I see you found our missing son." She gave Blue a pointed look that caused him to take a sudden interest in his shoes.

"Why Annie Lee, Yore even purtier than you was the last I saw ya'. We brought supper home with us." He gestured toward Blue, who was less bashful now that he was no longer the center of attention, "Blue Boy, show her them fine fish we caught." The fish were presented as if they were a great trophy.

Annalee looked delighted. "If you two will go clean those fish, I'd be more than happy to fry them. I already have cornbread made."

Blue smiled. "C'mon Uncle Buck, let's get to cleanin'!"

Buck laughed and started around the house after Blue. "You heard the boy! We'll clean the fish and when we come back, I'll tell ya' all about where I been."

John grabbed a large pan that had been hanging on the porch and said, "Hold on! We can talk while we clean them." John followed the two around the house and Annalee smiled and turned back to the stove to get the skillet ready for fish.

As they cleaned the fish, they talked about old times, but not about the war. There seemed to be some need to put that all behind them. John talked about what he'd done to the farm since returning. Blue sat quietly as he worked. When they were all scraped and gutted, and the heads removed, the pan was taken to Annalee. Blue was sent to take care of his chores while the men cleaned up.

The men were all cleaned up and resting in the shade of the front porch that John had built since he'd been back. He'd also built chairs and benches that made the new porch a comfortable summer-time living room. Buck was admiring his work when they were called to supper.

Stepping inside, Buck thought that the finest restaurants in the biggest cities couldn't smell better than Annalee's kitchen. John sat at the head of the rectangular table with Annalee at the other end. Buck started to sit opposite Blue, but sat beside him instead. That seemed to make the boy happy. They said grace and served the fish. They all complimented Annalee on the fine supper.

"Well, thank you gentlemen. And, especially, to the two gentlemen who brought me these fine fish to fry for our feast. And, now, Buck, would you please tell us where you've been all these months?"

Buck cleared his throat. "Well, I guess I did sorta' promise ya' that, didn't I? Uh, well, it's like this. I didn't get word about the endin' of the war until about two months after it was over. Me and some other boys was hidin' out in some caves in Virginia, so we didn't get much news. There was a fella' named Nelson Vickers in that bunch. John, you might remember him from back home. Anyway, he thought we oughta' check on the old homesteads, so we made our way to the north. Now, that wasn't no easy thing 'cause we didn't have horses or anything like that. We walked the mosta' the way. Sometimes we caught a ride on a wagon or even a train once."

Blue had been quietly observing but decided to interrupt. "You was livin' in a cave, Uncle Buck? And you rode a train?"

Buck looked at the boy's large blue eyes and his look of sheer interest, and said, "I sure did, Blue Boy. I rode that train more'n a hundred miles."

Before Blue could say more, John warned him, "Blue, don't interrupt. Let Buck tell the story."

Buck wanted to tell John to let the Blue speak, but decided they could discuss that later. He winked at Blue and went on with his story. "Anyway, when we got back to the old homestead, a widda' woman with two kids was livin' there. She'd lost her man in the war and was worryin' over how she was gonna' care for them young'ns, so we decided to stay and help. Well, Nelson ended up fallin' in love with this widda' woman and she ain't no widda' no more. I stayed long enough to help git the cabin roof fixed and repaired the barn and fences. Then I told Nelson I had ta' git back to Kansas to see my Blue Boy. And it's took me about two months ta' git from there ta' here." He reached out and pulled Blue against him and kept his arm around the boy's shoulders.

Annalee was the next to speak. "My goodness, you had a long journey. I hope you'll stay with us. It's so good to have you back."

"Miss Annie Lee, I can't imagine anywhere else I'd rather be. I had plenty a' time ta' think about what family means and I shore hope to stay close ta' mine."

Annalee smiled. "Then it's settled. Your room is still there with the clothes you left. I mended the pants and socks. You appear to have lost some weight, but I can take them in for you if necessary."

Buck was surprised that they were expecting, and even wanting, him back. "I thank you Miss Annie Lee. It sure is good to be back." He stole a glance at John, who was grinning.

"It will certainly be easier to work the farm with two of us."

Buck could feel Blue tense up. He pulled the boy a little tighter against him. "I think ya' mean three of us."

John smiled at Blue. "Of course. The three of us."

Buck was glad to be home, but had a feeling that the brothers would not always agree on things. They already had some differences of opinion about Blue. He supposed they'd work them out somehow.

"So, Brother John, what's this I hear about you wantin' to move west?"

John looked surprised that Buck knew about that, then realized that Blue must have told him. "Oh, it's just something that I've been thinking about. I know Annalee's father doesn't like the idea. They don't want to lose Annalee and Blue, but, someday, I plan to own a ranch and just raise cattle. Would you be up for something like that?"

Buck was all for moving to the frontier, but he could understand Annalee's father not wanting her to go away. "Why, shore, but let me git used ta' bein' out this far again first. I been travelin' far too much in the past few years. It'd be good ta' sleep in a reg'lar bed for a while. I think it might be good fer Blue to be near his grandpa for a little while longer too. The old man has a lot he could teach him."

John seemed to accept that answer. "Alright. We'll need to spend some time planning anyway."

Buck was happy to be back. He knew that John was determined to go west to fulfill his dream of owning a large ranch and Buck would likely go with him. He also hoped to settle here for a while before they moved on. He hadn't had a real home in five years and was looking forward to getting to know his family again.