Title: Warden's Journal Entry

Author: LeftwithThis

Rating: E

Game: Dragon Age: Origins

Characters: Venos Tabris, Alistiar, Morrigan, Sten, Zevran, Leliana

Disclaimer: Dragon Age and all characters from it belong to Bioware, minus the Warden.

On days like this, there really weren't any words to describe all that had happened from dawn to twilight. We had left Redcliffe just a few hours ago and it was obvious that fatigue had rose its unwanted head over our small group of misfits after the events of what happened with Connor. With time passing slowly, the sun was setting gently against the horizon, and with plenty more distance ahead, there wasn't much choice but to rest for the time being.
There was Zevran, up to his usual flirtatious ways and failing completely.
As well as Sten, our quiet giant and the most misunderstood of us all.
There was also Alistair, arguing again with Morrigan over dinner…and as much as I hate to admit it, I was a lot like him in my childhood; naïve and kind-hearted to all, as well as a coward.
And then there was me, sitting alone, sewing together thoughts in my head, as many things that I could remember…some regrettable.
Although usually I would have opted to turn in for the day, there was instead a spark in my head, and a driving one at that. One of the treaties was for the Circle, magic wasn't exactly foreign to me I guess, but thinking about stepping into that lone tower on the lake made me feel a bit uneasy. There really wasn't a way to describe it, but even among my comrades I still had a longing to go home, to see her face again even though it had been years since her death. Being here, as well as doubting my reasons for traveling to the Circle Tower- All the more to keep me awake, but…That might not have been the only thing keeping me awake at that moment.
I had only talked to her once, but the feeling left over I could not shake. It was quite the humbling feeling, worries gone. There was something about her, she felt familiar in a way. Whatever the feeling, it was a good feeling.
` All of a sudden, she turned and started towards me, talking. I could feel that feeling coming back again. The wise look in her eyes. Her intelligent speech drew me in, it was a nice change of pace from the insane mess of most days.
She handed me a flower, saying how it reminded her of me. It was a pure white with a bright blue center, she must've been talking about my fair skin and eyes but for some reason I didn't see that simple explanation. All I saw was a fragile flower. Things changed after The Joining, who I once was is gone forever and who I am now is just a persona of what people believe me to be. But as I took the flower from her hand, I could hear the mask cracking ever so slowly.
She then asked if I was ok. I apparently had started crying. I'm not even sure why I did but there I was, tears streaming down my face like a child. Her eyes were filled with concern and I wanted to pacify her worries.
I spoke from the heart, I told my story, some parts dismissed for good reasons. I was really under a spell by that point, it felt like the entire Dragon Age passed…and when I finished, there was silence.
"That would make a lot of sense."
That's all she said.
A strange feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. I felt like a complete fool, blurting out practically my entire life in the alienage to her and that was all she had to say. She wasn't exactly what I had thought this entire time and yet the mask was still breaking, piece by piece. But there we were, just waiting for someone to say something, anything, to break our focus from one another but it never came.
I felt her arms wrap around my chest tightly, all the air escaping from my lips in one swift movement as the flower fell from my hand. A sensation of both happiness and confusion flowed through me as I felt my heart beat hard and my face grow so warm I was afraid that it might melt.
She wouldn't let go and I wanted her to so badly but my arms wouldn't obey. I just stood there enduring this pity hug and finding unwanted pleasure from it. She was supposed to be everything I hated, a human of all things, the people that took everything from my people. I wanted to hate her…but I couldn't do it.
When she finally let do there was a smile on her face.
"…Thank you."
The words felt funny coming out of my mouth but they seemed to satisfy her. Her eyes were telling a different story now and I was interested in reading the chapters, though that will have to wait until our next chat. Like I mentioned before, we ARE a band of misfits.