You never remembered. Never.
I would die. I would resurrect. I would die. I would resurrect.
But you never noticed. You never noticed that I was gone!
I always was closer to you than the other guys. I don't know if you noticed. I always watched over you, making sure you were okay, even if my head was being blown off by this or that. I always cared for you, even if you felt like no one did. I was always there for you. Always.
Why couldn't you see that?
Why couldn't you see that I was in love with you Kyle?
Why?
But I found out a way that I could die permanently. That I could be dead forever. I still get the chills whenever I say that. Death doesn't scare me, it doesn't scare me at all; why would it? When you die every day, nothing really phases you anymore, especially not death. No, the chills are from…the insanity that I can actually rest in peace. It's astonishing.
Anyways, I'm not going into detail on how I found out, but I just wanted to let you have this note. Just to let you in on what's really been going on, and that maybe, just maybe, you'll somehow get your memories back of all the times I've died before. I mean, I usually would think this wasn't possible. But hell, if I'm going to be dead forever, anything can be possible. But maybe those memories will help you cherish my memory a little more.
It's a nice thought, anyways.
Kenny.
P.S. I thought dropping this through your window was kind of a nice touch, no?
Kyle slowly put down the note, his throat closing up. What…? Kenny…dead? He's been dead over and over again? No…that's impossible. That is fucking impossible. You only die once, and that's it. You don't just…come back to life all the time! Kenny's going crazy…no…he is crazy! And…he's going to commit suicide? No. No. No, no, NO! I will notlet that fucking happen!
Just as he was jumping out of the chair to go find Kenny, it hit him. They all came rushing at him in a blinding wave.
Shot in the face. Decapitated. Crushed by an elevator. Blown up. Diseased. Cut in half. Burned alive. Hit by a train. Run over. The deaths go on, and on. They're all of Kenny just dying…again, and again, and again. Kyle was being over loaded with all these gory, horrific memories –
Memories.
Memories?
These were memories?
The redhead toppled over his old mahogany chair and fell hard onto his floor. Blinking rapidly, he tried to banish the harrowing images from his eyes, but they wouldn't go away.
After what felt like an eternity, they faded. Kyle stared up at his ceiling, dazed and in shock. Finally, he was able to muster a thought: What the hell just happened? He knew he should get up, get up and go stop Kenny from really dying this time, but his body just wouldn't move. No matter how many times he tried to lift up his legs or arms, nothing happened. It was like his entire body was just…not there. No, like a deadweight that he couldn't control. His mind was reeling, but his body was just lying there.
"No…" his lips fumbled out, "No. No! God mother fucking damnit, NO! GET THE FUCK UP!" Using the feeble strength he had, he rolled over with a groan and got onto his knees. He then straightened up and shakily got to his feet. Standing there for a few seconds, regaining his balance, he steeled himself. He grabbed the note on his desk, right under his window of course, and forced himself to rush out the door. His parents were long asleep, since it was well in to the night, and Ike was over at the little Goth kid's house; Kyle could never remember his name. Checking the stove clock in the kitchen when he got down there, it said 11:04 in glaring red numbers. Biting his lip, Kyle opened the door and carefully closed it behind him, knowing that his father was a light sleeper. Whipping around and bursting into a run, the redhead sped down the street to Stark's Pond.
Something told him that Kenny would be there.
And he was right.
Standing there, at the edge of the water, was none other then Kenny McCormick.
His back was turned to Kyle, and he didn't move as Kyle approached him. Twigs snapped under his feet and leaves rustled around him, but the blonde still didn't turn around.
When he got right behind Kenny, he reached out to the blonde, so much emotion building in his stomach. Right when his fingers were about to brush the other boy's soft neck, Kenny spun around with seemingly lightning speed and hissed, "Don't touch me."
Stunned, Kyle withdrew his hand quickly and just stared at the gory scene before him.
Kenny's hands were drenched in blood, and his dingy orange parka was unzipped to reveal a bare chest scattered with scarlet zigzags. His jeans were ripped too and cuts oozed blood, staining the worn white material. But the place Kyle couldn't tear his eyes from were Kenny's own eyes. His beautiful blue eyes, now bloodshot and caked with red crusted blood, had new dark red liquid seeping in a never-ending river down his face. It dripped onto the grass by his feet, a quick and echoing pat, pat, pat, pat, pat!
"Get away from me, Kyle." His voice was guttural, not like Kenny's at all.
"Kenny…what did you do to yourself?" Kyle stumbled out, horror showing clear on his face.
"I know you got my note. I already told you I'm not going into detail," the blonde replied sharply, his rasping voice making Kyle flinch.
But then…something made Kyle straighten up and stare Kenny dead in his seeping eyes. His insides hardened and he took one more step, reached out, and grabbed Kenny's face. Pain electrocuted through him, up his veins and into his body. He could feel something slashing at his clothes, his legs and chest. His hands shook as blood started pouring from in-between his fingers and from his palms. Not even remembering the note was still in his hand, it was soon drenched in blood and un-readable. And then his eyes started to sting, only a little bit at first, and then felt like someone was digging a hot iron into his eyes sockets. The redhead screamed in agony as the blood surged out of his eyes and stained his white shirt and orange jacket mercilessly. But he didn't let go of Kenny's face.
Then, the pain dulled. Blood still flowed down his face and his hands dripped with the liquid, but the pain somehow wasn't as severe. Kyle then looked at Kenny again and said huskily, "If you're going to die, I'm fucking dying too." Ripping his face against his own, the redhead kissed the blonde so forcefully, so passionately, he knew that he did love this poor boy. He always had. That explained why he always was so nervous around him, even if he never let himself show it. Kyle always unconsciously watched Kenny during the day, for no reason what-so-ever. He always listened so intently to what the blonde had to say, even if it was something as stupid as what porn video he watched that day. But he never…never realized his feelings for him. He didn't realize how strong they were either. Until now. Now that they're bleeding so profusely and kissing under the huge moon, their bodies pressed so tight together.
Their life drained, and their bodies crumpled to the ground.
The note still clutched in Kyle's hand.