Fitzsimmons is back to being Fitzsimmons and I couldn't be happier so I wrote this! I do not own these characters and this work is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own. Please let me know what you think xx
It feels like his heart stops the moment he realizes what she's doing is wrong. The rage that had flared upon the mention of her betrayal dissipates and is replaced by roaring fear. His stomach sinks not with hurt but with dread. Adrenaline races through his veins and each beat of his heart punctuates painfully through his body as his mind scrambles to think like hers again. She must have a plan, she always has a plan. He knows that he shouldn't be saying these things in front of Mack, in front of the enemy but he can't help his confused mutterings.
Why the hell is she doing that?
She's making a copy of the box and she's going to switch them out that much is obvious but what he can't figure out is her next step. The real box needs to be as far away from this 'new S.H.I.E.L.D.' as possible but Jemma can't change her tune and say she wants to leave so soon after helping them, that would make them more than suspicious. It's been so long since they've though in tandem that he almost thinks he's forgotten how, that the neural pathways between the two of them have deteriorated in the absence of their use.
But they were on the same wavelength earlier. Speaking out of two mouths and two minds as one unit. Except. Except he said he was leaving. Which is when her actions changed. She went from not giving Gonzales or Bobbi an inch to providing exactly what they need the most. So she's going to send him off with the box and await in the lions den alone to bear the consequences.
Oh Jemma.
She talks as if he's the one who's changed the most when she is barely recognizable as the girl he left Sci-Ops with. However where his changes are more than obvious hers are unseen to an unfamiliar eye. To him though, on days like this, her every move is foreign. The old Jemma could not have lied to save her life but this one will plan the salvation of their team unassisted all while under the watchful gaze of the enemy.
Of course she would leave herself behind, that much of her hasn't changed, and with May locked away and Skye and Coulson on the run once she sends him off she'll be alone completely, alone with Gonzales, who can't be kind when he's angry and the traitors, Bobbi and Mack. His stomach rolls.
It's never been easy for him to hide his emotions, he's always worn his heart on his sleeve so to speak but everything he has to do today falls with a simplistic ease that he doesn't expect. Striding down to the lab filled with false apprehension and despise for Simmons when in truth he is awed.
She's always been beautiful in science who knew she'd be just as stunning in spycraft.
There's no struggle in their conversation either. Each group of words holding their own secret message he is confident only she in this room will understand and each of her quiet responses encourage him. His heart thrums under his skin with nerves and concern but there's also relief. Relief because she is back.
Finally they are speaking the same language.
They play their parts seamlessly, trading anger and exasperation along with their hidden messages. But he sees the fear in her eyes when he picks up the box and there is a gun pointed at his chest, the fear that only pricks the back of his mind because he is so lost in the words spilling from his mouth. He trusts her. The fear dissipates after he's slammed the box back down onto the table and he assumes that means the gun is gone.
He holds her eyes fiercely through his final words, the ones that are most crucial she understand and almost sags with relief when he sees her acknowledgment.
She delivers her final performance brilliantly, and even though he knows she doesn't mean them at all the words still sting. They bring back the all the times through the last few months when their minds collided, quaking, and shot off course, missing by miles instead of merging, understanding and flowing together like they did even in the first days they met which they are only now returning to.
He strides away, knowing that her face will betray how upset she actually is and not wanting to see it. They've pulled this off thus far and he's leaving her here by herself which he still can't quite believe it.
Fear rushes through him as they stand awaiting his release from the base and only her fingers, barely brushing over the back of his arm as she helps him into his backpack seem to quell it. Then, after they're gone, it roars back to life after a silent moment, nausea settling heavy in his stomach and sweat slicking his palms.
It doesn't feel as if he can breath until he's out, actually out and stepping towards a cab waiting on the curb. Then the tension drains and he has the mind and safety to look. He knows that Jemma slipped the box inside his bag before settling it onto his back but he can't be sure until he's seen it. That nothing came up, stopping her short of replacing the real box with the fake then placing the real one in his bag.
He smiles once it's in his hands, relief pours over him along with a little disbelief. They actually pulled this off. His heart stutters a little when he sees her note, and his smile broadens. His favourite sandwich. The one that she always makes for him when he's struggling with something. The one that she hasn't made since they were locked in that damned med pod on the ocean floor. It's her thanks to him for doing this, for leaving and entering the unknown in a whole new way.
It tastes even better than he remembered.