Tournament of Fools: Project I - Lunar 2
Episode 1: Heros Kidnapped! A Lone Woman Responsible!
(In a dark room a teenage girl sits typing at a computer. She grins evilly and then starts giggling before speaking in a demonic voice.)
Girl: Heheheheheheh...Time for me to show what I'm worth...You will ALL bend to my will...hahaha..MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
~*~*~Man am I an idiot? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! On with the pointless story!~*~*~
(Setting: Starlight Forest)
(Reason There: God knows why)
(Characters: Hiro, Lucia, Ronfar, Jean, Lemina, Ruby, Nall, Ghaleon, Leo, Mystery girl)
(Hiro and Ronfar are playing cards. Lemina roots for Ronfar and Lucia is on Hiro's side +any doubts?+ Jean stands stupidly as Ruby floats in midair watching her)
Jean: Hiya!
Ruby: Hey Jean!
Jean: Hiya!
Ruby: Um...Hi...
Jean: Hiya!
Ruby: Is that all you can say?!
Jean: No. I just think it sounds cool! Hiya! Hiya! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya! Hey that was cool!
Ruby: Oh god...
Jean: That was so cool I'm gonna do it again! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya!
Ronfar: WILL YOU BE QUIET?!?!
Hiro: Um...What should I do? My hand sucks...*thinks in desperation*
Lemina: *drunk as hell* GO RONFAR!!! *hugs him squeezing his head inbetween her breasts*
Ronfar: *goes red as steam comes out his ears* Ohhhhh yeah....
Lucia: Hiro?
Hiro: Oh?! Hey Lucia! Didn't see you there!
Lucia: Hiro!
Hiro: Sorry *huggles her*
Lucia: Hiro...
Hiro: Um...right.
Ronfar: Make your move!
Lemina: *drinks even more Sake* Ah...GO RONFAR! IF YOU WIN I'LL LET YOU COME OVER!!!!! *laughs drunkenly*
Ronfar: *thought* Now I DEFINITELY gotta win! I wanna piece of that cake. Heheheheh...I crack myself up...I sound like John Wayne...Damnit!
Hiro: Damn Ronfar! That's sick!
Lucia: Hiro!
Hiro: It's true!
Lucia: Hiro?
Ruby/Jean: Is that all you can say?!?!
Lucia: *hides behind Hiro* HIRO!!!
Hiro: *looks at Lucia* O...kay....
Ronfar: PUT DOWN YOUR HAND!
Hiro: *thinks in desperation* Maybe I could...Yeah! That would work but I need a distraction!
Lemina: GOOOOOOO RONFAR!!! *lifts up her shirt and flashes him*
Ronfar: *stars in his eyes* FK YEAH!!! LOOK AT 'EM GO!
Hiro: GOT HIM! *draws his sword and cuts Ronfar's head off*
Lemina: *pulls down her shirt as Ronfar falls dead* Um...Did he win?
Ronfar: *picks up his head and puts it back on like a screw* Fine! I'll put my hand down first!
Hiro: Damn! You didn't die!
Jean: Of course he can't!
Ruby: In this fked up world, anything is possible!
Lemina: *drinks more Sake* Like me letting Ronfar steal my virginity!
Everyone: O_O
Ronfar: Now that's what I'm talking about! *puts down his hand: three 6's, two 10's* A FULL HOUSE! BEAT THAT BUTTERBALL!
Lucia: Hiro!
Hiro: Um...*puts down a Royal Flush* What does this mean?
Ronfar: FK!!!!!!!!!! YOU GOT A ROYAL FLUSH!!!!!!!!!
Hiro: What's a 'Royal Flush'? Is that some kind of new toilet?
Lucia: Hiro!!! *hugs him*
Lemina: *walks over to Hiro in a drunk/slutty way* Oh Hiro!
Jean: Oh no!
Ruby: Lemina! Don't go there!
Lucia: *stands in front of Hiro defensively* HIRO!!!
Hiro: Um...
Lemina: *puts Lucia into a pile of pillows, hops on Hiro's lap, and hugs him seducingly while rubbing her finger in a circle around his chest* Hiro? Please by my hero! -wink wink-
Ruby: *beats Lemina with a brick causing no damage* HOW DARE YOU!!!
Lucia: *grabs Lemina, throws her into Ronfar, then cries on Hiro* HIRO!!!
Hiro: *pats Lucia's back* It's okay...That stupid whore, Lemina will never take me from you...
Lucia: *dries her tears and grins* Hiro!
Hiro: ^_^
Lucia: ^_^
Hiro: ^___^
Lucia: ^___^
Hiro: ^____________^
Lucia: ^____________^
Jean: ENOUGH ALREADY!
Hiro: O_O
Lucia: O_O
Ronfar: Wanna come home with me?
Lemina: SURE! *jumps on his back carring the Sake bottle and chugs it while exiting with Ronfar*
Jean: Um...
(Ghaleon appears)
Ghaleon: Hey.
Lucia: Hiro?!
Hiro: Um...*looks to Ghaleon* Hey man! Watz up! Watz up man!
Ghaleon: *smiles at Hiro* Chyllin' Chyllin' lyke a Vyllin!
Hiro: *points and laughs at Ghaleon* JOKE'S ON YO! Yo ARE Vyllin, Dawg!
Lucia: *backs away in fear* Hiro?!
Ruby: Fk! Hiro's been poisioned!
Jean: *picks up a steel bat and glares at Ghaleon* His evil ghetto-ness has infected Hiro! We must save--Hey, what the fk is this? *looks at the bat*
Ghaleon: *smiles* Dawg, wanna go fk that Lemina slut on dawt corner then gow wob sum1?
Hiro: *laughs maniacly* JOKES ON YOU AGAIN! I'M NOT GHETTO!!!! *picks up his sword and slices him in half*
Ghaleon: Damn...you...des..tiny.....*dies melodramatically again*
Jean: *smacks his remnants with the bat repeatedly then kicks them into the forest* TAKE THAT!
Lucia: Hiro! *hugs him*
Hiro: Heheheheh...^^
Lucia: ^^
Ruby: Not again!
Ghaleon: *comes back* Thank you for saving me from the evil spirit of Eminem! His evil, sin-worshiping, heathen, devil, pagan music controlled my mind when searching for Britney Spears music in the mall.
Hiro: AHHHHHHHH!!!! EVEN WORSE!!!! HE'S A PREP!!!!!! *dies*
Lucia: HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cries hysterically*
Ruby: *blows fire on him* DIE!!!
Ghaleon: *turns Ruby into a fish and teleports Nall to the scene*
Nall: Cool! Fish! *munches on the fish AKA. Ruby*
Ruby the Fish: NOOOOOOO!!!! OW!! Bastard! That was my only tail!
Nall: Ack! Your Ruby!
Ruby: *poofs back* AND I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Nall: AHHHHH!!!! *jumps into the forest and runs like hell*
Ruby: YOU SHALL PAY!!!!! *flies after him*
Jean: Um...
(As of current events if none of this fic has been making sense here are the current events: Ghaleon is killing people, Ruby is chasing Nall, Lemina is a 10cent hoe, Ronfar collects the cash, Hiro is dead, Lucia is in hysterics, and Jean is out on her own and not following this fic so she's confused as hell)
Ghaleon: *points at Jean* YOUR NEXT!
Jean: *holds the bat defensively* Not if I can help it! JEAN TRANSFORM INTO...*does a cheesy transformation sequence like from SailorMoon and appears wearing a revealing toga and holding a spatula* PRETTY SPATULA!!!!!
Lucia: *still crying* HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ghaleon: Pretty impressive but you shall not win! *pulls off his cloak to reveal an Iron Chef's uniform and holding a large turkey baster* I SHALL NOT LOSE TO A FAST FOOD VENDOR!!!
Leo: *comes in wearing a chef's hat and grinds up Ghaleon's turkey baster* HOW DARE YOU INSULT GOOD COOKING!!!!! *pulls out a flamethrower* GET CRISPY!!!!
Ghaleon: *is burnt to a crisp*
Jean: *flips him with her spatula* GREASY...*smacks him with it across the face 17 times very fast* SPATULA...*shoots a Blue Dragon Palm at him* DESTRUCTION!!!!!
Ghaleon: *dies from Jean's bad cooking*
Lucia: *still crying* HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leo: *dies from Lucia's sadness*
Jean: *transforms back to her regular self* AND I AM VICTORIOUS!!!!! *grins* Now, where is everyone?
Lucia: *still crying after all this time* HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Girl from beginning of fic appears)
Girl from Beginning: Hiya!
Jean: *growls at her* THAT'S MY WORD!!!! WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!
Girl from Beginning: *laughs sinisterly* My name is unimportant but you my call me Twilight.
Ruby: *comes back* Okay! Nall's dead! *screams after seeing Hiro dead* HE'S STILL DEAD!!!!! *dies of sadness*
Hiro: *sits upright* I'm fine now! ^^
Lucia: *stops crying and hugs him* Hiro!
Hiro: Hi to you too, Lucia.
Lucia: ^^
Hiro: ^^
Twilight: CUT THAT OUT!!!
Lemina: *comes back twirling her new staff while still drunk* You like my new staff? It's called the "I-am-no-longer-a-vigin-because-I-was-with-Ronfar-and-I-am-proud" staff!!
Jean: That's a long name...
Twilight: Hey! You weren't supposed to name it! Yuck!
Ronfar: Man...what a workout...
Lucia: Ick!
Hiro: *points at her* YOU SAID SOMETHING OTHER THAN MY NAME!!!!!
Lucia: *covers her mouth* Oh no! I did...didn't I...
Hiro: TOO MANY WORDS!!!!! *dies*
Lucia: *cryies* HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hiro: *sits up again* I feel better now! ^^
Lucia: Hiro! *hugs him*
Hiro: Are you back to normal?
Lucia: ...
Hiro: Lucia?
Lucia: ...
Hiro: Lucia!
Lucia: ...
Hiro: LUCIA?!?!?!
Lucia: Hiro?
Hiro: YAY! YOU'RE BACK!!! *hugs her*
Lucia: Hiro...
Hiro: Lucia...
Twilight: SHUT UP!!!!!
Hiro: O_O
Lucia: O_O
Lemina: I AM A PRETTY PLANE UP ON CLOUD 9!!!!!
Twilight: *makes her un-drunk*
Lemina: *keels over in pain*
Ronfar: LEMINA!!!
Lemina: Ah...hangover....*runs into the forest*
Ronfar: LEMINA!!! *chases after her*
Jean: Um...Why did you do that?
Ruby: *flies into her face* You seem like you want something...
Twilight: Guess what...*screams in her ear* YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!!
Ruby: *falls over from her ears bleeding*
Twilight: *turns and points at Hiro* You...
Hiro: O_O
Lucia: *stands in front of him defensively* HIRO!!!
Twilight: You're mine! *makes 7 black energy rings form around him and bind him in place*
Hiro: *in pain*
Lucia: HIRO!!! *uses Atomic Burn on Twilight*
Twilight: *uses her energy to throw Lucia off a cliff* DIE!!!
Lucia: *falls off the cliff and lands on a water bed*
Hiro: *still in pain*
Twilight: AND NOW YOU ARE MY PRISONER!!!! *electricutes Hiro till he falls unconcious*
Hiro: *falls unconcious*
Jean: ST!!!
Lucia: *from the bottom of the cliff* HIRO!!!
Twilight: *makes Hiro vanish* If you want him back, then come to my lair in the secret area of the Starlight Tower! Bring every character of Lunar 2 you can!!! *vanishes after him*
(Strangely, after Hiro disappears everyone comes back)
Ruby: Oh no! Hiro's been kidnapped!
Lucia: *cries* Hiro...
Lemina: *shakes Lucia* SNAP OUT OF IT!!! You are the only one who knows how to get into the Starlight Tower! You have to stop saying Hiro's name!
Lucia: *falls to her knees bawling* HIRO!!!!!
Ronfar: *puts a hand on Lemina's shoulder* Leave her...She's desperate...
Jean: *bangs a pot over Ronfar and Lemina's heads* HELLO! JEAN TO IMBICILS!!!! We can just use the magical Teleportation-thingy!
Lemina/Ronfar/Lucia: What? (Hiro?)
Jean: *looks at the conviently placed teleportation-thingy* That thing!
(Everyone goes through it except Ruby who was attacked by a brain slug +dun dun dunnnnn+_
Preview - Hiya! This is Jean! I can't believe that stupid girl took my word! 'Hiya' is MY word! What? Alright Ronfar I'll get to the preview! This stupid Twilight person kidnapped Hiro and did something to him! WHAT?!?! TWO Hiros?!?! I'm lost here...Oh well, we'll get to find out why Twilight wanted us and WHY she's asking us to fight in a crazy tournament! The next episode: Enter Twilight! The Tournament of Fools!
Disclaimer - I don't own Lunar 2 or their characters. I DO own the Brain Slugs, my character Twilight, the teleportation-thingy, Jean's transformation, and the Sake Lemina stole from me and completely finished. WAH!!!!!!