I saw you the other day, but you didn't see me.
I saw you the other day at the market. You were wandering down the frozen dinner isle. You stopped twice, never opening the case to take any food out. You kept checking the list in your hand, eyes darting around the case. I guess you didn't find what you were looking for.
Your hair was shorter and your skin paler than I remembered. You were slimmer, less than you used to be. Your hair stuck out more and seemed less touchable. Your clothes were different, more casual, less you. You weren't like I remembered.
Things are different now. There's more silence between us, less laughter, less understanding. Funny, how things change. You've changed. You're older now, you want more and aren't willing to settle for less anymore. You're living again. I don't recognize you anymore. Sometimes, when we talk, it feels like we're grasping at straws, trying to find something to hold on to before we slip away from each other for good. Sometimes, I think we should slip away.
We used to go shopping together. Rather, you used to go shopping and I gladly wandered around the market with you. I fancied others thought us a couple. I enjoyed those times, would have given anything to spend more time with you. I watched you stand for an hour in front of the greeting cards, trying to pick out the perfect one for your mother or father. I watched you for hours talk about nothing, talk about everything. You didn't believe in anything. I don't think I ever told you that I believed in you.
I don't think about you as much anymore. I don't wonder what you're doing or who you're with. I don't think about the way things could have been if we were at different points in our lives. I think I've finally realized something. I always thought it would be you. I thought that, in the end, it would be you. I don't think that anymore. I loved you.
I should have been there for you more. I should have called you more often, tried harder to get in. But I couldn't, I couldn't because I loved you or maybe because I hated you. You broke my heart. You weren't there for me so how could I be there for you? Besides, I was busy.
I'm still busy. He loves me. We shop together every week. It's not like it was with you. He loves me. We're the couple that others find annoying, always hugging and kissing in the middle of the isle. I miss you. I think it's him now, I think it's him.
I saw you the other day, but you didn't see me.