"I don't want to go to the Burrow!" six year old Teddy cried, latching onto his mother's arm as she tried to drag him into the Floo.
"Why in Merlin's name not?" Tonks shouted to her son. They were already running late as it was.
"Cuz it's Valentine's Day!" her son complained, "And Victoire and Lily and the others are always so weird. Like they'll squeal and kiss me and stuff and I'll get cooties!"
"You won't get cooties Teddy," Tonks sighed, exasperated as her husband came down the stairs.
"Yes I will! I hate Valentine's Day," Teddy pouted, "It's so stupid. It's all about love and flowers and gross stuff."
"Valentine's Day is not stupid," Tonks muttered, "You'll understand when you grow up," she decided but Teddy shook his head firmly.
"No Ted's right," Remus agreed, ruffling the boy's hair as he approached, "Valentine's Day is quite absurd. People running around buying up half the flower store and forking over millions to give their lovers lavish presents. Quite a waste of effort if you ask me," he said, grinning down at his son who was happy his father agreed.
"But don't worry. I'll give you a cootie shot so you can play with the Weasleys," Remus insisted, pretending to wave his wand a bit and tap Ted on the head.
"There we go. Totally immune. Now into the Floo you go," Remus said, gently pushing his son into the fireplace.
"And if you're a good boy we'll go to Honeydukes tomorrow."
Ted seemed to weigh the pros and cons of this before sighing and reluctantly grabbing a handful of Floo powder before disappearing to the Burrow.
Once their son was gone Tonks took the moment of silence to wack her husband on the head.
"Ow!"
"If he grows up thinking all girls are made of cooties and becomes a laughing stock at school it'll be all your fault," Tonks said as she turned on her heel to exit from the main door.
Remus gave her a wide eyed look of feigned shock, "Dora, cooties are deadly disease that must be controlled and contained!"
Tonks rolled her eyes.
"They add to our troubles, subtract from our pleasures, divide our attention and multiply like hell," Remus recited, "And I'll have you know I was terrible at math," he finished seriously.
Tonks hit him again.
"If you're quite done, I believe we had a little dinner reservation to get to," Tonks said, pointing impatiently to the wall clock and noting that they were very nearly late.
Remus opened the door to the house and stepped aside to let his wife lead the way but Tonks just stood there, clearly expecting something from him.
After a beat Remus moved back to her, "You're mad about saying it's a waste of effort aren't you?" he asked as she responded by lifting a sarcastic eyebrow.
"Well, I think it's well worth the reward," Remus insisted, giving her a kiss, "In fact with Ted gone we can probably skip dinner and go right to dessert," he mused with a Marauder's glint in his eye.
"Careful Lupin, you might contract cooties," Tonks said with a sly grin, "I hear they're quite a dangerous and deadly disease."
"I think I'll take my chances. Besides, I don't think Valentine's Day has anything to do with cooties," Remus insisted, making his way out of the house once more.
"Oh? You don't?" Tonks goaded, clearly amused.
"Nope," Remus said with a nod, "It's about all the chocolate that goes on sale afterwards."
He apparated before Tonks could throw something.