I'm Not Okay and Your Not Okay, and That's Okay.
a/n I decided to scrap my first Torchwood story and incorporate certain aspects of it into this one. Though I might take parts of the plot I did have planned and use it for another fic later on. Also I couldn't resists writing this. The idea's been floating around in my head for quite a while now and I adore stories that involve teen!Ianto. (if anyone can !req any that I haven't read yet I'd love you forever 3)
And to those asking about my Naruto fics, they are really all on hiatus. Im more into the Torchwood fandom these days though who knows what might happen if I somehow manage to get bored enough =P
Note: this fic is set ten years before the beginning of the first series of Torchwood.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or the characters, I simple borrow them from RTD (damn him he doesn't deserve them) and return them in slightly different positions.
Rated: M for later chapters.
Warning: Please note I am notorious for starting fics then leaving them for years on end let alone regular updates. (I think I only managed that like once xD) So I apologise in advance if this becomes another one of my abandoned fics.
Chapter 1
"I'm not okay and your not okay, and that's okay."
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
10 years before
Ianto sighed as he lay back on the moist grass, his head resting uncomfortably on his school bag and his thin, worn jacket wrapped around him tightly in a desperate attempt at trying to preserve some semblance of warmth. The dusky sky above him was slowly fading and small twinkling stars began to appear. The mist from his own breath rose in front of him reminding him of his freezing body. His pocket watch informed him that it was almost 8pm, that meant it was at least a few more hours before his father emerged from the pub, if he emerged that is. Watching as his long, thin fingers curled around the smooth metal and precise grooves of the watch he prayed it would be one of those nights when he didn't.
The park he was in was his haven of sorts. He could go to his sisters, Rhiannon's, if he wanted to but her constant denial of their fathers true nature was almost to much for him to bear. The made up stories and excuses to explain their fathers behaviour which always managed to show him in a better light constantly grated on Iantos' nerves to the point where he'd rather stay out at night in the freezing cold , content to listening to his own thought s and daydreaming the time away rather than try and struggle his way through them all.
When the watch hit 1am and he hadn't seen his father stagger by on the usual path he took which Ianto could observe from his position in the park, he knew he had gotten his wish. His father had probably picked up some whore and had gone back to her place.
Picking himself up off the ground, Ianto made his way to the small clearing amongst the trees which he had subbed his "nest". The grass was softer there and the trees sheltered him to an extent from the elements while he slept. The soft noises of the birds and the rustling of the trees was the gentle lullaby that rocked him to sleep. He has learnt long ago not to be afraid of the sounds that surrounded him, that was until tonight.
Just as he was on the brink of sleep, his soft eyelashes fluttering, a women's shrill scream penetrated the air. Sitting bolt upright, his quick breathes visible in the cold air, resounding in his ears. He hesitated for a moment before slowly making his way towards the commotion, his heart jumping into his throat every time his feet crunched on the leaves or twigs beneath him or he brushed a branch or bush. From his higher vantage point the could see a young women scantily dressed, stumbling and tripping over her own feet, wobbling on impossibly high heels before falling flat on her face, perfectly manicured nails scrabbling in the dirt.
Thinking the women had taken some sort of drug, probably E, while drunk, he was about to make his way down to make sure she didn't die of pneumonia when something burst into his vision. It was large, at least seven foot, wrinkly and snarling. It moved at an impossible speed towards the women, canine like teeth bared. It would be impossible to reach the women before the creature and there was no way she would be able to move away in time. Ianto tensed his muscles, ready to flinch away from the scene when the creature made impact. But it never happened.
Ianto watched in shock as a man in large RAF coat appeared out of nowhere and jumped onto the creatures back and toppled them both over sideways. Bile rose in his mouth as the women's screaming reached a deafening pitch, watching the creature furiously attack as the man struggled futilely beneath it. As it rose back up, dark red spilled from its mouth and was splattered across its face, revealing the man behind him. His neck and shoulders were a mangled mess, the skin had been ripped off and veins, muscles and bone were clearly visible beneath. His eyes stared vacantly as blood pooled underneath him. He was undoubtedly dead.
Adrenalin surged through Iantos body as the creature sniffed at the air before moving back towards the women who had by now gone into shock. Running on pure instinct Ianto reached down and felt his hand grasp a chunk of wood, splinters embedding themselves under his skin. Just before the thing reached its target Ianto snapped back his shoulder and threw. The creature grunted in pain as the wood collided with its head, snapping it back. But before Ianto could let out a small sigh of relief it quickly recovered, sniffing the air, its eyes squinting in his direction. Time seemed to stand still for Ianto, his beating heart deafening in his ears, waiting for the creature to discover him.
Suddenly a syringe jabbed into its neck and all Ianto could do was watch in shock as it swayed for a minute before falling to the ground in a heap. The man in the great coat was standing there, syringe in hand, covered in blood but not a wound in sight.
The women is still shaking on the ground in shock and hardly noticed as the man began to make his way towards her, asking if she was okay in a deep American twang. When she didn't answer he reached into the large pockets of the coat, pulling out two white pills and offering them to her.
"These'll make you feel better," he said, a grin in place, the events of the night not even fazing him.
Not long after swallowing them she slumped into sleep as the man gently caught her and lowering her to the ground. He then proceeded to tie up the creature and reached for a small device in his ear and began speaking.
"Yeah I've got it. One victim, uninjured just in shock. I've already retconned her. No - no cover up needed, it looks like she was drinking all night, she'll just think the memory loss is due to too much alcohol. You've got the location, can you get some cops to come and pick her up, thanks."
Ianto watched as the man was about to move the creature, his thoughts racing when he froze, just as the mysterious man in the great coats large hands wrapped around the chunk of wood Ianto had previously used as a missile for the creatures head. He blinked at the bright, sparkling blue eyes of the man that was staring back at him, then panic overrode his sense. And he ran.
His lungs burned from the cold air that was rapidly filling them as he sprinted and stumbled towards his nest, disbelieving at what he had just witnessed. Finally reaching the nest he lowered himself down on trembling legs, clutching his bag against his heaving chest before fumbling with the bottle of water inside, gulping it down his neck, Ianto sat there slumped against a tree for what seemed like hours, his mind racing as his analytical mind combed through every detail, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He was so deep in thought he didn't hear the heavy boots crush the leaves and twigs scattered across the ground or the snapping of bushes and branches as they made way for the larger man to pass. Only when his shadow darkened Iantos vision did he notice the mans presence and slowly raised his head.
The man was the same as he had seen before. Tall, well built, broad shoulders, large hands and was topped off with a brown mop of hair which he was subconsciously trying to sweep into a more tidier fashion. He was still covered in dark red, drying blood but Ianto was immediately drawn to the large grin that was stretched across his face and the deep blue eyes which had trapped his gaze.
Finally coming to his senses, Ianto carefully tugged his coat tighter and carefully composed himself before breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"Sir?"
"Captain Jack Harkness," the man replied cheerily, extending a hand to him.
"Jones sir, Ianto Jones."
He was hesitant in reaching for the hand offered but when he did finally take it he was surprised at the heat that radiated from it as it dwarfed his own slender hand.
"So Jones, Ianto Jones. What would a nice young man such as yourself be doing out in the park at such a time of night?"
Despite Jacks light and joking tone, Ianto could make out the serious question underneath it. He wanted to know if he had seen anything he shouldn't have. Unsure of how to broach the topic they both wanted to discuss and unwilling to answer the question that he had been asked directly, he had decided to ask the question that was at the forefront of his mind.
"What was that creature?"
Jack seemed slightly taken aback by the bluntness of the question, then shoved his hands back into the large pockets of his coat.
"A Weevil. It's an alien."
Ianto blinked for a moment, processing the information. He was usually quite good at determining whether people were messing around with him or not but there was something in Jacks eyes that told him that he was telling the truth. Determination and an almost boredom shone through them, as if this was something routine that had long ago lost its excitement. And who was he to question what he had plainly seen with his own to eyes.
"You died."
"Did I?"
"Yes."
Jacks expression flickered for a moment, it felt to Ianto like his eyes were picking apart his soul, revealing every fracture, crack and ugly scar.
"Are you an alien?"
"No…just sort of in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't belong here."
Ianto nodded to himself, he could relate to that last part. Though unbeknownst to him Jack had meant it a little bit more literally.
"Anymore questions?" Jack asked, once again with a cheery smile on his face.
"Why did you capture that alien?"
"I work for an organisation called Torchwood. One is in London, Two is some weird old guy up in Glasgow, Three is us here in Cardiff and Four…well…we're not quite sure where they disappeared to…but we're still working on it…kind of. We're beyond the government and the UN and all those other big organisations and only answer to the Queen, meaning we can do pretty much whatever we want. It's our job to protect the world from aliens and make sure the general population remains ignorant because the 21st century is when it's all changes, and we're ready. There is a rift in time and space that runs through Cardiff that pops all kinds of stuff out and occasionally sucks stuff in and it's our job at T3 to keep it under control and deal with anything else alien that crosses our path. Including the local Weevil population."
Again as Ianto absorbed the information he couldn't help but think that despite Jacks enthusiasm it seemed as though he had spieled off that little speech a thousand times before. Thinking back to the women and the pills Jack had given her a thought crossed his mind.
"Are you only telling me this because your going to wipe my memory anyway?" Then quickly added on the end, "I heard you talking into your earpiece," as Jack opened his mouth to ask how he knew that.
"You figured out what the pills do from overhearing half a conversation, impressive."
Ianto couldn't help but feel a little please with himself at the eyebrow Jack had raised at him.
"It's not such a great leap from aliens is it sir?"
Jacks grin turned into a smirk as he dropped himself onto the ground next to the welsh teenager.
"Call me Jack, and seriously though Ianto, what is a sixteen year old boy doing out here at this time of night? You don't look like the type to be into drinks and drugs and you defiantly aren't gonna be out here looking to pull dressed like that."
Sighing to himself he thought he might as well speak to Jack, it wasn't as if he was gonna remember it anyway.
"Fifteen," he quickly corrected. "And my dad isn't home," he said shortly, voice devoid of emotion. Something he was sure Jack had picked up on.
"You can't go home when he isn't there?"
"Don't have a key."
Once again he could feel Jacks eyes gazing at him.
"Where is he?"
"Drunk. Probably with a whore."
Jack let out a little chuckle at the bitterness in Iantos voice.
"Hey, its not the whores fault. They're people to you know."
He didn't know what it was. Maybe he was in shock from tonight's events or the very strange conversation he was having with this man he had just met. Or maybe it was the warmth that Jack seemed to radiate, penetrating his skins permanent chill or just his reassuring presence but Ianto couldn't help but let a small genuine smile play across his lips.
The two of them didn't talk again after that, just sat there next to each other in a comfortable silence.
"Are you not cold?" Jack finally asked as he saw a shiver makes its way up the welsh teenagers spine.
"I'm used to it."
"Your out here a lot?"
"Yeah."
Ianto suddenly leapt in shock as Jack did the same, reaching up towards the comm. in his ear, listening to what was being said.
"Yeah Alex, I'll be right there," he finally sighed before slowly getting up.
"Your off?" Ianto asked, slightly disappointed to lose the mans company.
"Yup, work to do - aliens to catch," Jack replied, his cocky grin back in place. "Are you going to tell anyone?"
"You mean is anyone gonna believe a fifteen your old student who has no friends and one hell of a fucked up family that aliens exist and a secret organisation is keeping it all under wraps?"
"Well, when you put it like that," Jack smirked, beginning to make his way back to wherever it was he had appeared from.
"Wait!" Ianto shouted after him, scrambling to his feet. "That's it? Your not going to erase my memory?"
"Hmmmmmm…..no. Why? Do you want me to?" Jack said, looking back at him amused.
"No, but aren't there like, you know, rules? Keeping the general population ignorant and all that?"
"Yeah but I've never been one to follow those. See you around Jones, Ianto Jones."
"Sir." Ianto said returning the two fingered salute Jack had given him as he had turned around but somehow couldn't resist saying what he did next as he watched the retreating figure.
"By the way sir, love the coat!"
What he couldn't see was the small smile that graced the Captains face at his words.
t.b.c.
a/n Hope you enjoyed. This is far from the end as I have quite a bit more planned for this fic.