Chapter 1

Scarlett sat numbly on the steps. He had left her. Rhett had truly left her. Why? Why does everyone she loves leave her? She was truly all alone. The hard cold exterior layer of Scarlett's heart broke. Her tears flowed heavily down her face, her thin frame shaking with sobs. She just wanted to be able to have a nice big cry. She finally allowed herself to mourn. For too long she had buried her true emotions and feelings. She grieved for her miscarried baby. She grieved for Bonnie. She grieved for her parents. She grieved for Rhett. She grieved for Melanie. She let out a strangled scream. She was too young to bear this burden. Mellie, her best friend in the world was gone. Her husband had left her. All rational thoughts left as she imagined how wonderful it would be to be dead. There would be no pain or stress. She would see her parents, Mellie, Bonnie, her baby. No. Scarlett thought with a pang. I would go to hell for all the pain I have caused everybody. She rocked back and forth with her fist in her mouth to keep from screaming aloud.

Soft feet pattered down the stairs. "Mamma?" Wade and Ella crept to her. They had heard Rhett leave. They looked in horror as they watched their mamma cry. Something was wrong. Their mamma never cried. Wade knelt down next to Scarlett and gently brushed the tears from her face. "Don't cry, Mamma." he said kindly, holding her hand.

Scarlett took deep breaths in an effort to calm herself. Wade's innocent act of kindness touched her vulnerable heart. No, she was not alone. She had Wade, Ella, and Mammy. They would be fine. She would protect them and give them everything she could, especially a caring mother. She saw Ella standing timidly next to her. Her heart broke for the third time that day. First, Mellie died. Then Rhett had left. And now, her own children were afraid of her. She gathered Ella up on her arms and set her in her lap. Ella looked at her mother with wide eyes. Her mother was different. "Where did Uncle Rhett go?" Wade asked nervously. He did not want Uncle Rhett to be gone a long time. His mother always cried when Uncle Rhett was gone and that made him sad. Scarlett stroked Ella's hair while contemplating an answer.

"Uncle Rhett had to go on a long trip and will not be back for a while." She spoke, her voice trembling with sorrow. Ella turned around.

"It's okay, Mamma. He will be back soon. We will not let you be lonely." Scarlett hugged Ella tightly, wondering why she had despised them so before. They were so sweet and loving.

"You all run off to bed. I will see you in the morning, darlings." Wade and Ella nodded diligently and scampered off to bed.

Scarlett wearily trudged up the stairs. She mechanically undressed and put on her nightgown. She removed the pins from her bun. She took a thin ribbon and tied her hair back, to fatigued to braid it. She sank into her bed, emotionally and mentally drained. She lay on her side of the bed. When she looked at Rhett's empty place she burst into tears.

"You killed me, Mommy." Bonnie appeared out of nowhere. "You didn't love me." She spoke sweetly, her voiced tinged with sadness.

"No, no, Bonnie, I love you!" Scarlett replied, her voice laced with desperation. Scarlett reached out to hug her, but Bonnie disappeared.

"You killed me, Scarlett." Melanie appeared. "You did not truly love me."

"No, Mellie! I love you!" Scarlett spoke shrilly in desperation. She reached out to hold her but Melanie ha disappeared as Bonnie had. Scarlett sank to the ground. All of a sudden a flurry of voices surrounded her.

"You killed me." Her father spoke gruffly. "How could you do this to our family?"

"You killed me." Her mother spoke softly. "I thought I taught you better than this?"

"You killed me." Frank said. "You deceived me and broke my spirit."

"You killed me." Charles spoke accusingly. "I thought you loved me."

"No! No!" Scarlett screamed while covering her ears in attempt to block the voices out. "No! No! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Scarlett jerked awake, her cold sweat causing her nightgown to stick to her body. She shakily got out of bed and slipped on her robe and slippers. She walked down to the kitchen, her padded feet hardly making a sound. She sat on a stool, immersed in her thoughts. "Child, what you doin' up? Mammy's concerned voice startled Scarlett. She sighed.

"Mammy?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Rhett's leaving me."

"I figured as much." Scarlett broke down.

"But I love him so much! But I do not know how to get him back or if I ever will!"

"Child," Mammy spoke wisely. "If the good Lord wants you and Rhett to be together, He will send a sign. You just have to be patient." Scarlett sat silently, absorbing Mammy's words of wisdom. She stood up. Mammy was right and she was not going to spend another moment sobbing about what she could have done. What was done is done. Nothing she could do could change that. All she had left was the future. She thanked Mammy for the advice and went back to bed. She fell asleep shortly after. No nightmares plagued her mind but she had no dreams, there was just peaceful darkness. Tomorrow was a new day, and she was a new Scarlett.

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