Obviously this doesn't fit in with the real story, if it did, the real story probably wouldn't have happened. Anyway, it's slash - Remus/Sirius.
Sirius has been gone for two years and Remus is going crazy, missing him.
I'm cold. Empty.
Is everything gone? Feels like it. Why is everyone so happy, content? I'm not, that's for sure. I shiver. I'm so cold, nothing can warm me up now. I look across the room, the two sleeping figures of my friends, and then.. the empty bed. The bed that once had the love of my life lying peacefully in it.
Where are you? I need you... I miss you... I love you. Two years now. Feels like it happened yesterday. I'm not over you. I don't even care what you did. I'm cruel, but I lost my mind when I lost you. I lost you two years ago, and I still haven't found you. When will I see you again? Will I ever see you again?
The same thoughts that ran through my head every single night. Still, the days, weeks, months went by. I had no hope that he would ever return. I was quiet now. People didn't look my way - not that I took much notice or cared. I was failing my subjects, which was unusual for me. But my head was so consumed of hope. Hope that I would one day see him again, but I knew I was hoping too much.
I was sitting in History of Magic, hearing the teacher, but not taking anything in. I was focused on a memory. The last time I saw him. Maybe the last time I would ever see him. It was so clear in my head
I was walking down the hallway, ready to go into the Great Hall for lunch. I was smiling. Because I would see him soon. There was a hold-up outside the Great Hall. I wondered what it was, and I could hear screams, I could hear crying and shouting. I could hear Lily, more clear than anyone. Sobbing loudly.
"Why would you do this? Why? I hate you, Sirius. I hate you! He's dead because of you! You killed him!" she screeched. My heart stopped. He killed someone? Who? Why? I walked closer, pushing through the large crowd of people.
It was Severus. He was lying in Lily's arms motionless, eyes wide open. I knew Sirius hated him, but this was taking things too far. I looked for him, and he was standing on the other side of Severus, looking shocked.
"I-I didn't," he said, tears in his eyes. I knew there were tears in mine too. He was going to be in trouble. Big trouble. There were footsteps, and Professor Dumbledore emerged from the other side of the circle of students.
"What is going on here?" he asked seriously. Nobody spoke. The only sound was Lily's sobbing. "Somebody tell me," he demanded crossly. Peter spoke.
"I-I was w-walking to lunch with Sirius and S-Severus started picking on me. H-he killed him," he said, pointing at Sirius, who was shaking his head.
"Please listen to me, please!" shouted Sirius, who was now being grabbed by the arms by Professor McGonagall and Hagrid. "I didn't!"
"Check the last spell his wand cast," said Dumbledore to Professor McGonagall. After a minute of checking his wand, she sighed.
"The last spell he cast was Avada Kedavra," she said. People gasped. How could he? James was now standing next to me. He looked angry, as I suppose I did. Sirius was crying.
"I swear I didn't do it!" he shouted, trying desperately to pull away from the teachers but he couldn't move. I looked up at him just in time to see him staring at me, his eyes glistening with tears. Those beautiful grey eyes I loved so much, eyes of a murderer. He looked like he was trying to speak to me. Like I could forgive him after this... I looked away to prevent him from seeing the tears. I could hear him shouting as he was being pulled away from the castle.
"Take him to Azkaban," said Dumbledore coldly. "That's what he deserves."
My heart stopped beating. I couldn't look at him. He was going away forever. I wouldn't see him again.
"Remus!" he called. It was the last thing I heard him say. My name.
I was pulled back to reality, when I was shoved by James.
"Come on Remus, we're supposed to be working in pairs," he said. I nodded. We didn't really work in pairs though. I didn't do anything. My eyes were filled with new tears, from just thinking about the past. I'd forgiven Sirius now. It was still a terrible thing that he did, but I couldn't live without him.
The rest of the day went by quickly. I didn't take any notice to what was going on though. One minute I was sitting in History of Magic, and now I was lying in bed, curled up, trying to think of anything but Sirius, trying to prevent the nightmares. Every night, I saw his face. When he was being dragged away. Sometimes I would see him smiling at me. Sometimes he would kiss me again. But then I'd wake up to find that it wasn't real. I would wake up shaking violently. I didn't let anyone else know about this. It wasn't right, but I didn't want to speak to anyone about this.
As I lay there, I could hear the low sounds of James and Peter sleeping. I was trying not to cry, but I couldn't. I let the tears roll silently down my face. All I could think of was the times that me and Sirius had been together. Lying in bed, his arm around me, holding me safely. His warm touch. His sweet, loving voice. The taste of his lips, when they were pressed softly against mine. The way my heart would speed up when he was touching me.
I couldn't handle it anymore. I stepped out of bed and walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. There, I let myself cry. I let out everything. I looked into the mirror. I was a mess. I didn't even remember the last time I'd brushed my hair. It was messy and my eyes looked tired. I had dark circles under my them. I looked horrible. I must have been sitting on the floor of the bathroom for about an hour, until there was a knock.
"Hey, you nearly done in there?" asked James's voice, sleepily. I jumped to my feet and wiped the tears from my face. My face was red, from crying. I unlocked the door and walked quickly over to my bed. James looked back at me, probably wondering what I'd been doing, and walked into the bathroom. I closed my eyes, and curled up in a ball. I pulled the covers over my head as always, and silently fell asleep to the sound of my quiet sobs.
Before anyone else comments on the fact that Remus's condition is very similar to Bella's condition in New Moon, I'd like to say that that's probably where I got the idea from, so don't kill me :)
Review please.