sa, sorta crossovered cause lavi's family is based on akarii's semi-rp family we made up.

warnings- gore, shounen ai, angst, AU, slight crossovers, spoilers to "save you" if you didnt read that first.
inspiration- white flag by dido and first time by lifehouse
reasons- i sorta felt like "save you" just ended line a straight line... really boring. i didnt elaborate on much.
rating- T, may M later on
pairing- lavi/allen dei/tobi
summary-
disclaimer- i do not own a thing.

aaaaaaand sa. enjoy.

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He had thought he was going to die. He was sure he would die. The bullets were coming in waves, and Allen's vectors couldn't keep blocking them for much longer. He could see the strain on the snow haired boy's face, and the way each wave of fire made him tremble with the effort of deflecting them. If they weren't invisible, Lavi would bet money the vectors were almost falling to pieces by now. He bit his lip and wished there was something, anything he could do.

It was like a bad dream how it all ended. Allen fell, in slow motion it seemed to Lavi, and with him went the vectors. Without the shield of invisible arms, nothing could save Lavi from the bullets.

With a shout, Lavi woke up, face pale and sweaty. His hand went quickly to his right eye, clutching at the eye patch there. He went still, then sighed when he realized it was a memory, that it was over. He sighed once more and slumped back into his mattress, staring up at ceiling dully. When the police had stormed his apartment, he had lost an eye and his love. He was lucky to be alive, and not in prison for that matter. But Allen... he was dead. He had died, just to save Lavi.

After he had seen Allen's body, he was sure he was dead. If he had survived, there wouldn't be any way he could have, he quickly told himself, they'd have dissected him and everything. If he was still alive when they took him, they'd have killed him, or vice versa. Lavi couldn't explain how depressed he had been when there was no gore outside the halls.

Sighing, he shifted and tried to get back to sleep. He had to be up early for some court meeting or the like, and it would decide his fate. He didnt want to be tired. To be honest, he didnt mind the thought of dying. But he had disappointed his family and his lover had died for him. There was no way he COULD die now. He wouldn't let it be.

His mind was racing to much. Sighing for the fifth time, he sat up and looked at his clock. It read three thirty in bright red letters. God, if he didnt sleep now, he'd look like a zombie tomorrow! He sulked into his bed, rolling around till three fifty before deciding he might as well get up. He'd never get to sleep if all he could think of was two months ago. He crept through the halls to his mother's house, being careful not to wake up his other two brothers. He was the oldest son in the family, at nineteen. His two younger brothers Hikaru and Deidara were twins, around the age of fourteen.

The carpet under his feet made him relax a bit, but he missed the wood of his apartment. He missed the way the dried up blood made his hallway carpet feel. Lavi made his way down the plushy steps and into the living room, the same one he played in as a child. He slumped into the cushions of a couch, staring up at the ceiling through his fuzzy vision.

Had it really been two months? he thought sleepily.

His time with Allen seemed so long, and the time without him so short. Lavi wasn't sure anymore.

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That morning they all crowded around a table in the kitchen to eat. Cereal was flicked, milk spilt, orange juice and fruits flung and loud shouting echoed off the walls. Lavi winced, a migraine from the lack of sleep and the sound of his siblings growing. His younger brother Deidara had had the neighbor's son over for a sleep over, though Lavi was sure they hadn't been sleeping. Deidara and his friend Tobi shouted at each other to much, he swore. His other brother Hikaru simply slouched into the wooden table and lazily fed himself his cereal.

His mother walked over from the stove and reached over the two yelling boys, who had began to fight, and set down a plate of eggs. Deidara and Tobi separated instantly and shoveled food into their mouths, though Tobi still insisted on reaching over and grabbing eggs from the blond's plate. Lavi sighed, remembering how it used to be when he was little. He certainly didnt help with his own immature eating habits. He ate slowly, picking at his eggs and pancakes and whatever else was on his plate, not really feeling hungry.

"Is something wrong dear?" his mother asked, frowning a little.

He smiled weakly at her, nodding. "Just a bit tired."

"Did Tobi and Deidara-nii keep you up?" Hikaru asked.

To this he received an elbow in the side from Deidara. Lavi winced and shook his head. "No, I just couldnt sleep."

"He was prolly nervous, right? Your prolly gonna go to jail now, so your nervous, right??" Tobi asked around a mouthful of pancakes.

Lavi tensed a bit, and he noted that the room had gone quiet. His mother busied herself with dishes while his brothers were silent as they ate. Lavi dimly realized that Tobi was probably right. Allen had been a major killer, and he had helped, willingly might he add. There was no way he wouldn't go to jail. He didnt bother to reply to the boy, just picked through his food. His mother glanced over her shoulder at him and then back at her dishes before sighing.

"You should probably go get cleaned up." she said, forcing a bit of cheer into her voice.

Lavi nodded and pushed away from the table, eager to escape the awkward silence that had seized hold of the kitchen.

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Lavi sat there, staring at the wooden desk before him. His lawyer sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking him a bit. He looked up dully, not really seeing him.

"Son, it's time to go. The trial is over."

He said nothing, simply nodded. He had been swimming in and out of consciousness, and every piece of evidence that was attempted to prove him guilty simply brought back memories. Thankfully though, he wasn't going to jail. That much he was grateful for. Standing, he pushed away from the desk, the wooden chair scraping loudly across the floor. Lavi didnt much notice it, he simply walked away numbly, all the memories and all the facts bringing him deep in thought.

A crowd circled the court house, all of them asking or demanding things, varying from what his relationship with Allen had been to his eye and even to Kanda. Somehow, he tuned it all out, ignoring it in favor of getting to the car that was waiting for him in one piece. He really wanted to hit them. There was nothing, except for maybe for Allen to come back, that he wanted more than to punch the reporters. To say he was over joyed to be home might have been an overstatement, but he certainly was happy.

The first thing he did when he got home, was go and flop into bed. His mother was at work and his siblings were at school, so he had the house to himself. In his mind, he reviewed everything from the first time he met Allen, to Kanda's death, to Allen's death, to his first trial and to now. He found it was so hard to figure out the amount of time between each event. After a while, he fell into a deep sleep, not even dreaming. Not that he was complaining. dreams only ever made him wake up in a cold sweat. They were all memories.

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sa, end of this chapter. i had planned to just kill allen and lavi off in "save you" buuut i decided against it.