Perfect Moment
"I'm pregnant…I'm pregnant…I'm pregnant" I kept repeating over and over again in the mirror. I was currently locked in the RV bathroom practicing my 'I'm pregnant' speech. But it didn't matter how many times I practiced because I knew the minute I looked the father in the eye I was going to freak and out and have my mind go blank.
"Alex? You okay?" Anne asked through the door.
"Y-yeah…I'm fine" I shout back. I sighed taking one last look in the mirror. Gripping the handle with shaking hands I opened the door to reveal a worried Anne.
"Morning sickness?" Anne guessed. She was the only one who knew that about my situation.
I shook my head in disagreement "Nah. I was actually trying to figure out how I was going to tell him. There never seems to be a perfect moment…Maybe I shouldn't tell him yet."
There was a moment of silence before Anne spoke up again "You have to tell him Alex. Trust me; you'll feel a lot better once it's out in the open."
"But why do I have to tell him? It's only going to make him upset and I don't want him to be angry at me!" I said in a slight state of panic.
Anne rubbed my shoulder soothingly "Alex, he's not going to get upset. He loves you and he's going to be ecstatic once he finds you're pregnant."
"I still don't understand why he needs to know. It just seems pointless to me" I said in a dismissive tone. I know I sounded like a bitch right now but I was terrified to tell him. I kept picturing him exploding in anger. What if he doesn't want it? What if he tells me he doesn't love me anymore? What if-
"Alex?" Anne said interrupting my thoughts. I stared at her as she continued "Come on Alex, think about it. He's going to find out about this. Better it be from you than anyone else"
"You're the only one who knows I'm pregnant. If you don't say anything then there's no way he'll find out!"
"Alex, I think he's going to figure it out when you start developing a baby bump"
"I'll tell him I've just gained a little weight" I replied stubbornly.
Anne crossed her arms across her chest as she stared me in the eye "What are you going to tell him once the baby pops out of you in a couple of months?"
I tensed up. Damn, I never even thought about that. I sighed in defeat "Fine, I'll tell him!" I stormed off leaving a grinning Anne in the RV.
There he was. After walking around the base for a good 45 minutes I finally found him. He was talking with Weaver next to his tent. I stood beside one of the trucks until they were finished. I watched the members of the 2nd Mass. They all kept their minds busy with their own little jobs. I spotted Hal and Maggie passionately making-out behind the trees. I chuckled quietly to myself. They were a cute couple and I wish them all the best, but I just hope they're smart enough not to get themselves in the same position I'm in. Scanning over the crowds I noticed Ben sitting on the ground cleaning his weapon. Poor kid. Everyone looked at him like he was one of the Skitters. They were afraid of him so hardly anyone spoke with him. Don't these people know that it wasn't his fault getting taken! Ben, probably sensing someone staring, looked around until his eyes landed on me. I smiled and gave him a small wave. He grinned and waved back. I had a few minutes so I made my way over to him. I plopped down in front of him with a warm smile upon my face. He smiled a handsome smile. All of the Mason boys were attractive. They definitely got their looks from their daddy!
"How's it going Ben? You doing okay?"
"I'm doing well. My spikes haven't bothered me lately so I can't complain" he replied as he continued cleaning his gun. One of the members of the 2nd Mass stopped to stare at Bens back. A look of disgust was on his face. A frown made its way onto my face. I hated people looking at him like that. I always thought of Ben as the son I've never had and I wanted to protect him, so I snapped.
"What the hell are you staring at?!" The guy jumped at my sudden outburst, while others that were walking by stopped to watch.
"I-I-I…I w-was just…" he stumbled trying to find the right words.
"Just what?" I challenged.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Nothing. I wasn't doing anything"
"You were doing nothing, huh?" I stood up and crossed my arms across my chest "Well that's funny; because to me it looked like you had something you wanted to say to Ben" Bens eyes flicked between me and him.
The guy licked his lips. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off "Don't speak! I know exactly what you were doing! I'm sick of you and everyone else in the camp looking at Ben like he's some kind of freak!" I noticed more and more people stop what they were doing to watch me screaming my head off. From the corner of my eye I spotted Tom and Weaver make their way over.
"It's not Bens fault for getting harnessed! What if it was your kid, huh? Would you want everyone to turn their back on them even when they haven't done anything wrong!?"
"N-no I-"
"No you wouldn't!" I interrupted. I could feel the heat rise to my face. I probably looked like a psychopath right now but enough is enough. "This boy hasn't done anything but fight alongside us and protect us. He's risked his life more times than I count for the sake of the 2nd Mass. I know that his loyalties have always, and will always, lie with the 2nd Mass! Now you and everyone else in this camp need to get that through your thick skulls!" I panted completely out of breath. Bens' mouth hung open. The guy I exploded at shook with fear. Nobody in the camp made a single noise.
The guy turned to Ben with a guilty face "I-I'm so sorry!" he said hanging his head in shame.
Ben stood up and wiped the dirt from his jeans "Uh, thanks. I appreciate it"
The guy slightly smiled and quickly walked away in embarrassment. Eventually, one by one, everyone started going back to their business. I turned to Ben with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry for my outburst Ben, I just hate seeing you get treated badly. You're like a son to me Ben and I just feel the need to protect you"
He smiled and pulled me into a hug "Thank you Alex. I really appreciate you sticking up for me like that. Nobody has ever done that for me before"
"You're more than welcome Ben" I mumbled into his shoulder.
He pulled away but kept his hands resting on my arms "And just so you know, I already think of you like my mum. I'm really glad that Dad has you"
Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes. I can't believe he said that. I'm so happy he feels like that! I hope the other two boys feel that way as well. That will make the pregnancy thing a whole lot easier. "Thank you Ben, that really means a lot to me."
"To me as well" Toms voice sounded from behind my back. Ben dropped his arms to his sides as a pair of muscular arms slithered around my waist. Tom kissed the back of my head and nuzzled his face into my red hair.
"Hello Alexandra" Tom whispered into my ear making me shiver. He was the only one who called me Alexandra. Never Alex, always Alexandra. It's funny because I always hated people calling me that, but when Tom says it…I dunno…it makes my heart flutter. Guess I just like the way he says it.
"Hello yourself" I whispered back smiling. I turned my head to see him smiling down at me. He was a good head and half taller than me. He leant down and gently pressed his lips to mine.
"Ugh gross! Ease up on the public display of affection please!" Ben groaned and pretended to puke.
Tom looked at Ben with a mischievous grin and spun me around so I was facing him. Tom planted quick kisses all over my face causing me to giggle. Ben gagged while covering his eyes. "You guys are so disgusting! If you'll excuse me I'm going to go gouge out my eyes" he said jogging away.
Tom and I both laughed. "You know we've probably scarred him for life, right?"
"I know" he replied with a satisfied grin. He grasped my hand in his "You created quite a scene, you know?" He mused lacing his fingers with mine.
I blushed looking away "O-oh, so you heard that huh?"
He blinked "Darling…everyone heard it"
I chuckled nervously "I'm sorry Tom, but he was staring at Ben like he was a freak. I wasn't going to just stand by and let that happen! I love all your boys like they were my own and when someone hurts them I feel this need to protect them! Please don't be upset, I didn't mean-" I was cut off by him pressing his lips to mine.
"What was that for?" I asked dumbly when he pulled away.
"That was my way of thanking you. For everything that you've done for both me and my boys. " he replied gazing into my eyes.
"Oh, well you should thank me more often than" I said making him laugh. It was finally time. Now was the perfect moment. I wonder how he's going to react when he finds out he's about to have kid number 4. "Tom…there's something I need to tell you, and I don't know how you're going to react. Just, promise me you won't get mad?"
A look of worry crossed his face "Of course I won't get mad. Alexandra, what happened?"
I felt my throat suddenly go dry. My heart began to race. Come on Alex! Just say it! "Well, this is something I've wanted to talk to you about for quite some time now. Tom, I…" I stopped to clear my throat. Now is not the time to chicken out! "Tom, I'm-"
"TOM" someone shouted cutting my sentence short.
'Damn it' I mentally cursed the one who interrupted me.
Captain Weaver made his over to us. I glared at him but he didn't seem to notice. "Tom, we're running low on supplies and I need you to lead a small group of scouts on a supply run. A couple of civilians are starting to complain so I need you to head off ASAP."
Tom sighed and looked at me then Weaver "Alright I'm coming now"
Weaver nodded but remained where he was. Tom and I stared at him but he was completely unfazed. "Weaver, do you think you could give us a moment here?" Tom asked nodding his head in my direction.
"We don't have time to waste, Tom. It'll be nightfall soon and that's when the Skitters are most active" Weaver replied folding his arms behind his back. For some reason I believed Weaver hated me. He was always giving me odd stares, and he hardly ever spoke to me. I knew he avoided me whenever he could. But why? I've never given him any reason to hate me. Perhaps I was overthinking things.
Tom sighed and turned his attention back to me "I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?"
"Alright, but make sure to come back in one piece" I requested. He nodded and went to walk away, but before he could take a step I grabbed the collar of his coat and brought his lips to mine. I hated when he went on missions; especially when I wasn't there to fight with him. Normally I would've volunteered to go along, but with the baby…I didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. Tom wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. He didn't want to leave, and I didn't want him to leave. Weaver cleared his throat making us break apart. Weaver stood there glaring at me. What the hell is his problem?
"Now, Tom" he commanded. Tom raised his brow in confusion but didn't question him as he reluctantly followed his leader.
"I'll see you when I get back!" Tom called over his shoulder. Him, Weaver, and a couple of scouts all piled into the blue run down Ford pickup truck and sped off down the dirt path.
Sighing I spun on my heel and began walking aimlessly around camp. Nobody paid any attention as I passed them. I can't believe I'm not out there fighting. I felt so useless without a gun in my hand. I hope it's not like this for the next couple of months.
Without realising it, I had wandered into Popes' part of the camp. I never had a problem with Pope. He was actually pretty cool once you got to know him. Oops, better not let Tom hear me say that. I shouldn't be here. Tom hates Pope, and he's told me he doesn't want me near him, so I should respect his wishes and leave. Unfortunately Pope spotted me after 5 steps.
"Hey, Dickenson!" Pope called. I turned around to see him sitting in front of an old crate on a fold out chair. He whistled and gestured for me to come over.
I jogged over to him "Hey Pope" I greeted.
"You seriously were gonna leave without dropping in?" he questioned leaning back in his chair, shuffling a deck of cards.
"I didn't want to bother you" I lied, shrugging.
"You're a terrible liar" he muttered slightly amused. He spread the cards out on the crate in front of him. "Let's play strip poker" he announced looking me up and down.
I started to laugh but stopped when I realised that he was serious. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. I really should start listening to Tom more. "Thanks, but I think I'll pass."
"What's the matter Dickenson? Afraid of losing?" Pope challenged.
I scoffed "no. I just don't think it's appropriate to play strip poker in broad daylight, out in the open, surrounded by people, and with a pervert like you!"
"Whoa, calm down there little lady" he put his hands up in mock surrender "Didn't think you were such a prude."
I frowned as he continued "There was a time when you would've jumped at my offer of a challenge, but now…I think you've been hanging around the professor too much. He's made you boring."
I clenched my fists and stomped towards him. I yanked out the chair opposite him and sat down. "Game on, Pope" I smirked.
"Take it off Pope" I laughed at the mortified expression on his face. Seems like Pope forgot what an awesome poker player I was. He's such a sucker. The group, myself included, wolf-whistled as Pope stripped down to his tighty-whiteys. He was red in the face, either with anger or embarrassment. The only thing I lost was my boots and gloves.
"So, you wanna keep going or shall I leave you with some dignity?" I teased.
Before he could respond Anthony came racing towards us.
"Alex, I-" he stopped as his eyes landed on a half-naked Pope. Shaking his head he continued speaking "Alex, Weavers back and he would like to speak to you. It's about Tom"
I froze "Tom? Is he okay?"
Anthony avoided my gaze by looking at his boots. "You really should go and speak with Weaver."
"Anthony, is he okay or not?" I asked completely worried.
"I don't know Alex. He…never came back."
My heart momentarily stopped. I felt sick to my stomach. If he didn't come back then, where the hell was he?! Without a second to spare I was on my feet and running for Weavers tent. I burst through the door, or flap, making Weaver jump.
"Where is he?!" I practically screamed.
Weaver sighed and closed his eyes "there was…a complication. We got ambushed by the Skitters. We thought we had a pretty good chance at fighting them off, but then a Mech appeared and, well, all hell broke loose. We all scattered but we knew to head back to the truck, but…Tom, never showed up, so…"
"So you left him there!?" I slammed my hands down on his table, making his metal cup topple over. "How the hell could you just leave him!?"
"I have to think about the lives of every fighter, scout, and civilian Ms Dickenson. I can't sacrifice them for one man" he said coldly.
"Did you even wait for him to show up!? Or did you just take off to save your own ass?" I was totally pissed right now. I knew I should've gone. I could've protected him. None of this would even be happening right now.
"Watch your tone missy. Tom was my friend, and he was the best damn fighter I had! If there was something I could've done I would've done it!" he jumped up from his chair quickly, knocking it over on its side. His face was inches from mine. "Alexandra-"
"Don't call me that!" I snapped. Only Tom could call me that.
Weaver sighed and rubbed his temple "Alex…I'm sorry for your loss, but-"
"I haven't lost him" I muttered darkly. Weaver glanced at me as I spoke again "He's out there, alive. I can feel it."
"Alex" he exhaled readjusting his cap.
"Don't 'Alex' me! I know he's alive and I'm going to go find him!"
"No you're not!"
"Why can't I?"
"It's too dangerous out there!"
We were yelling in each other's faces. Our bodies inches apart.
"I'm not going to just leave him out there!"
"Well I ain't risking any more men!"
"Then I'll go alone!"
"I forbid you from leaving this camp!"
"Forbid me? You can't forbid me!"
"Yes I can! I am your commanding officer so you will obey my orders!"
"I don't have to obey you, or anyone else for that matter! I'm leaving whether you like it or not!" I screamed turning my back on him.
"Alex!" he yelled after me but I didn't listen. "Alex!" he yelled again. I still didn't listen.
Next thing I knew a hand gripped my elbow and roughly yanked me back. "Ow! Son of a-! What the hell is wrong with you!? Let go of me!" I demanded trying to pull my arm out of his iron grip. But the more I struggled the more he tightened.
"Alex, I'll say it one more time. . . ."
"Why not!?" I twisted around to look at him. He stared at me, not blinking. I could feel my eyes filling with tears. I tried to hold them back but I couldn't stop them. I broke down into tears. "W-why are you doing this? Why w-won't you let me go?"
"Because" he stated clearly.
"'Because' isn't a valid reason, Weaver!"
"Because I…"
"Because what!?" I snapped. I'm tired of this game.
"Because I…I…" he groaned in frustration. Next thing I knew Weaver grabbed the back of my neck and crashed his lips onto mine. His arms fell to my waist, pulling me hard against his body. I felt my body go rigid. My eyes were wide with shock. What. The. Hell!? I didn't understand what was happening! One second we're screaming in each other's faces, and the next he's kissing me! Wait, why am I just standing here? Push him away, you stupid cow! I placed my hands on his shoulders and shoved him away as hard as I could. We stumbled away from each other, both panting heavily. My hand flew up to my mouth as I stared at Weaver. He stood there with a guilty look on his face. It was quiet between us for a while. We just stood there, neither of us knowing what to say.
Weaver opened his mouth to speak but stopped and turned his back on me. "Alex, I'm…I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me" he spluttered quickly still not looking at me.
"All this time…I thought you hated me" I said, confusion clear in my voice.
He laughed bitterly "Hate you? No, I never hated you Alexandra…" Usually I would've scolded him for calling me Alexandra but not this time, I just let him continue "…I've always had, feelings towards you. From the moment I met you. I thought that maybe I had a shot in the beginning, but then along came Tom, and he got to you first…"
I can't believe what I'm hearing. He always liked me? For some reason, I don't know why, I felt extremely guilty. Watching him stand there, hunched over, and admitting his true feelings for me with a pained tone to his voice…it broke my heart. Weaver straightened up and glanced at me over his shoulder "It's funny…I always thought the age difference would be the thing that stood in the way…guess I was wrong."
I don't what led me to it but before I could stop myself I was behind him with my arms wrapped around his stomach. I could feel him stiffen from my touch, but he soon relaxed. "Weaver…I'm so sorry" I cried into the back of his green army jacket "I had no idea you felt that way. I always thought you hated me, I…I feel awful"
"Alex, you have nothing to apologise for" he whispered softly "Truth is, I wanted you to hate me. It would be easier that way, you know? I tried avoiding you whenever possible so I wouldn't have to see you and Tom together. I was jealous, so I began acting like a child. I'm the one that should be apologising to you."
"I forgive you" I sniffled, letting go of him and wiping my eyes. "I care about you Weaver, a lot, but…I'm in love with Tom. Nothing will ever change that."
He turned and smiled slightly looking down at me "I know you do, which is why I'm going to help you find him."
My head snapped up at him "What?"
He held out an M-4 Carbine in front of my face. I gently took it from him and watched as he strapped his own gun to his back. "Let's roll out" he commanded brushing past me.
"Weaver, are you sure about this?" I asked following him outside to the truck. "I'm perfectly capable of handling this myself"
He yanked open the truck door "What kind of Captain would I be if I was to leave one of my own men out there to die?"
He helped me into the truck and I strapped myself in.
"Ready?" Weaver asked as he slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.
"Ready" I nodded and we took off. Hold on Tom, I'm coming.
"Tom!? Tom!?" Weaver and I shouted simultaneously as we searched through the rubble. We've been wandering around the abandoned town for an hour now, searching through the dilapidated buildings. My fingers were covered in cuts and dirt from shifting pieces of debris out of my way. Where is he? He can't be dead! He just can't be!
"Tom!?" I yelled again as I crawled through a broken window. I wandered through rows of knocked over shelves. Cans of food scattered the floor.; electrical wires hung from holes in the ceiling, causing little blue sparks when they brushed against one another; blood splatters stained the walls. Weaver called my name softly. I didn't even notice that he had been following me. I hummed in response, never tearing my eyes from the store.
"Alex, we've been searching for an hour. Maybe he really is-"
"Don't say it!" I cut him off. "He's not dead! He's here somewhere! He wouldn't leave me. Not like this." Tears streamed down my dirty cheeks. My hands shook violently at my sides.
"Alex…I'm sorry" Weaver stepped towards me but I jumped back, shaking my head from side-to-side.
"He can't be! He can't be!" I muttered over and over again, until I finally snapped. I screamed in anger and started kicking the dead Skitter that lay in the corner of the store. "You stupid…son-of-a…bitch!" I screamed between kicks. I could feel Weaver watching me but I didn't care. I needed to take my anger out on something.
I kicked and screamed until I almost passed out from exhaustion. I gave one big final kick and fell to my knees, crying uncontrollably. I heard footsteps shuffling towards me, followed by a hand rubbing my back soothingly.
"I-I…I n-never got to t-tell him" I sobbed.
"Tell him what, honey?" Weaver asked gently.
"I never got to tell h-him that I was-" I was interrupted by cans crashing to the ground. Weaver was on his feet with his gun raised. I stood up slowly and watched as cans roll across the tiled floor. Weaver glanced at me and nodded his head in the direction of the noise. I nodded and raised my gun as I silently followed him. Groaning sounded from behind the counter. I felt my heart speed up. My palms were sweaty and my shaking fingers rested gently on the trigger. I held my breath as we snuck closer to the counter.
Weaver put his hand in the air, making me stop "On my signal" he whispered "three…two…" I shifted, ready to jump. "…one!" we both jumped over the counter ready to strike, but I froze.
"Tom!" I yelled as I ran to his side. My hands glided over his body searching for wounds. His eyes were closed and is breathing was shallow. Blood poured from a nasty gash on his forehead. "Tom? Tom, wake up" I said shaking him. I grabbed his head with both hands "Tom, please, wake up" I quietly begged. He groaned in pain as his eyes fluttered open. He jumped in fear as his eyes skimmed across the room wildly. He pushed his back harder against the counter, trying to distance himself from me.
"Tom? Tom, look at me! It's okay! You're safe" I soothed.
His head snapped my way and he stared at me. His face softened in realisation "Alexandra" he breathed. With shaking fingers he stroked my cheek. I smiled warmly and leaned into his touch.
"Alex, we have to go" Weaver spoke up.
"Right. Let's get you home, Tom" I said helping him to his feet. He stumbled into me. I would've fallen if Weaver wasn't there to hold the both of us up. Weaver wrapped Toms arm around his shoulder and I did the same with his other arm. We slowly made our way back to the truck, but as soon as we stepped outside shots were fired. The three of us dropped to the ground. Mechs slowly crept out from behind their hiding spots.
"Shit" Weaver cursed under his breath.
I sat up on my knees to see the truck a few metres away from where we were. It wasn't that far so we could probably make a run for it if we went now.
"We should make a run for the truck. It's not that far" I whispered to them.
Weaver glanced at the truck then the Mechs. They were closing in, and fast. "That's risky Alex. No guarantee that we'd make it"
"True, but what do we have to lose? We either die trying or die by giving up!"
Weaver was silent for a moment but eventually agreed.
"You two go" Tom said quietly "You'll be able to run faster without me weighing you down"
"We ain't leaving you behind Tom" Weaver said before I could.
"But-"
"No buts Tom! Now the three of us are getting out here, so get ready to run" Weaver instructed. I smiled thankfully at him. He winked with a smirk and pulled Toms arm around his shoulder.
"Ready…" I pulled Toms other arm around my shoulder. The ground shook as the Mechs got closer. Whirring of their canons could be heard warming up, preparing to fire. "…go!"
We sprinted towards the truck, occasionally dodging pieces of debris. Explosions erupted from all around us. Bullets whizzed pass our heads. I shot back but my bullets just ricocheted off their metal armour.
Halfway to the truck Tom tripped and stumbled to the ground, taking me with him. Weaver stopped dead in his tracks and made his way back to us.
"Go, get the truck started" I told him. He hesitated but obeyed anyway.
"Alexandra…leave me. Save yourself" Tom groaned in pain.
"No! There's no way in hell I'm leaving you here!" I grunted pushing myself up.
"I can't-"
"Shut up!" I snapped "You're getting your ass on that truck whether you like it or not" I yanked him up and continued towards the truck. Weaver reversed till he was right in front of us and I heaved Tom into the back of the old pickup truck. I knocked on the rear-view window making Weaver take off. A second longer and we would've been blown to pieces by the missile one of the Mechs fired.
I collapsed next to Tom, sighing heavily with relief. We did it. I'm glad Weaver joined me, because I wouldn't have been able to do it without him. I have to thank him later. I turned my head to see Tom staring at me with a dreamy look on his face.
"Do you know what the name 'Alexandra' means?" he asked me. I shook my head smiling and he continued "It is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Alexandra is "man's defender". It fits you perfectly."
I laughed "you're such a dork."
He smiled "You used to love that about me." He grasped my hand and brought my knuckles to his lips. "You risked your life to save me. Thank you, Alexandra"
"You don't have to thank me Tom. I would gladly go to Hell and back for you. You're my world" I rolled over and kissed him gently. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him. I smiled into the kiss before breaking it. "Tom?"
"Mm?" he hummed absentmindedly running his hand up and down my back.
"I'm pregnant" I said quickly. There, I said it. No taking it back now. I watched his face closely, looking for some kind of reaction.
"Pregnant? For how long?" he asked in a serious tone.
I swallowed the lump in my throat "t-two months." He was quiet. Uh-oh. That's it, he doesn't love me anymore.
I wanted to cry until a huge smile broke out on his face. He rolled us over till he was on top of me. He planted numerous kisses on my mouth. I lay there dumbly.
"This is fantastic!" he laughed happily.
"You mean…you're not mad?" I questioned.
"How could I be mad? Alexandra, this is the best news I've had in a very long time. I love you so much"
"I love you too" I giggled.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier though?"
I blushed looking away "Well, I wanted to but…there never seemed to be a perfect moment."
He leant down till his lips were inches from mine "I think now was the perfect moment" he whispered before kissing me passionately.