A/N: Another one! I apologize in advance, Anton Shudder is horribly OOC, but after reading things by the great Reia Kellyn, I simply can't write him any other way. Also, the sloth gag belongs to her, and is from her fanfic Skulbook. All characters (sob) belong to Derek Landy.

Chapter 1

Erskine Ravel was, to put it lightly, swamped. As in about to be trampled to death by a swarm of impatient and disgruntled mages all waving packets of paperwork, all of them trying to fit themselves into his office at once.

"I gave you this last week"-

"…inconceivabley important"-

"Who elected you any wa"-

"SHUT UP!"

Ravel glared at the crowd, now that he had they're attention. "Now, I realize that each and every one of you seem to have a world ending problem, and I assure you, I will get to you. Now, can you all please step out into the hall so I can have a conversation with Mr. Bespoke?"

There was a lot of grumbling, pushing and complaining, but a few minutes later, Ravel had managed to hustle the crowd outside and lock his door.

"Told you we shouldn't have signed up for this," Ghastly smirked as Ravel turned back to him.

"Not like we had a choice," Ravel reminded him, sitting back down behind his desk and kicking his feet up. He glanced up, and as a second thought, twitched his hand, yanking down the blinds over the window of the door so he didn't have to watch all the dirty looks he was getting.

"True… how long are you planning on leaving them out there?" Ghastly asked.

Ravel shrugged. "Until the Cleavers show up and escort them all out for making a scene."

Ghastly laughed. "And all the end of the world disasters?"

"Skulduggery's number is on the door."

"For which he wanted me to sincerely thank you."

Ravel smirked. "Yeah, well, I'm sure he can cope."

"I don't know, Erskine… he'll probably murder all of them."

Ravel's smile dimmed. "You really, really want me to clear them out of there, don't you?"

Ghastly nodded. "Glad to see that you can finally take a hint."

Ravel groaned, and removed his feet from his desktop. "I need a secretary. No- I need a security guard. Why aren't either of those provided?"

"Just last week you told Anton Shudder that Secretaries and Guards were for slackers and pansies," Ghastly said dryly.

Ravel frowned as he remembered. "That was only because he was on me about the sloth again. I swear that thing is rabid."

Ghastly rolled his eyes. "Erskine, it's a sloth. It barely moves."

"YOU WEREN'T THERE LAST CHRISTMAS!"

Ghastly instantly put up his hands. "All right, all right!"

"Thank you."

Ghastly pulled open the door and people started pouring back into the room. "I'll look into getting you a secretary. In the meantime…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ravel said as he was pushed back by the crowd. "Hold down the fort."

Ghastly gave a sarcastic salute and headed out the door.

"So I hear you're in the market for a Secretary… funny how things change," Anton Shudder smirked as he and Ravel rode the elevator up and out of the Sanctuary.

Ravel sulked against the wall, arms crossed. "I was nearly stampeded, Anton," he grumbled.

Shudder smirked to himself and said nothing.

There was a long silence, and then:

"Well, if you get to pick, make sure she's hot, and then introduce her to m"-

"Anton! Can you stop being a pervert for two minutes?"

"Yeah, but that's no fun."

Ravel rolled his eyes and stepped out of the elevator as it stopped. "Need a ride?" he offered.

Shudder nodded. "That would be great. It'll give us more time to discuss the up and coming addition to floor number twelve."

"Offer withdrawn," Ravel grumbled, and hustled over to his car.

Shudder laughed, but halted as he saw his friend was serious. "NO! Wait! Erskine! I seriously need a ride! Don't"-

He sighed as Ravel's car rolled out of the lot.

"Leave me here," he finished.

He turned on his heel, grumbling, and headed back into the sanctuary. Maybe he could mooch a ride off Ghastly.