Disclaimer: I do not own the ducks, lucky Disney.
Summary: Depression is hard to deal with, and when you're a duck with caring friends, it's even harder.
~~~
I used to think I was like the rest of them. Always smiling and feeling that I was actually there. I was careful about what I said and made sure I said it without offending anyone.
But recently I've started to see the difference. I no longer feel like I'm here in the sense of the word. I feel like I'm in my body, but that I'm just watching, like I'm barricaded inside.
I don't care about what I say and if there's a question in the back of my mind I'm not afraid to ask. I don't care anymore and it's a different feeling all together now.
When I smile I'm not really there, it's a reflex, it just happens when everyone else smiles. When I laugh it's also one. There are only a few people who I'm actually with, smiling and laughing genuinely.
"What do you want, Conway?" I asked irritated. Charlie always has the worst timing.
"Just wanted to know what you were doing. I'm bored and I want to do something." Charlie complained to me.
"So jerk off, I'm busy." I said. I quickly moved the used tissues to the garbage and put the box back on my night stand and turned the television off.
"What are you doing that's more important than hanging out with your best friend?" He asked me and I could feel him frowning through the phone.
"A lot of things are more important than you, Charlie." I heard him laugh through the line and I frowned deeper. I knew he'd do everything he could to get me to go out now. "What do you want to do?" I asked defeated.
"Let's go see a movie." He said.
"How original. I hope you know you won't win my heart with a movie, Conway." I said sarcastically, my only tone as of late.
"I also want to talk to you. You've been different recently. But let's talk in person. Meet me in my room in about an hour?" Charlie asked.
"But I thought you wanted to do something now." I said.
"I do. But I need to take a shower, that okay?" He asked as if he needed my permission.
"Go right ahead, the last thing I need to smell all night is Charlie Conway." I said and hung up the phone. I needed to take a shower also, and get my eyes back to their normality. I'm sure he wouldn't notice anyway.
~~~
An hour later I was walking towards Charlie's dorm room, looking better than I had before, not to mention smelling better, too.
I knocked lightly on the door and heard him shuffling about inside. Charlie has never once been on time for as long as I've known him.
"Sorry, Banksie." He opened the door for me and gestured for me to enter. "I'm almost ready." He said shutting the door behind me and hoping back over to his bed trying to get his right shoe on all the way.
"Need some help?" I asked him and he looked up grateful for my offer. I moved to the floor in front of him. Sitting Indian style I grabbed his right foot and put it in my lap.
"So, what movie do you want to see?" He asked me.
I thought about his question while untying his shoe and taking it off his foot. I fixed the back and slid it on him. I laced up the sneaker and dropped his foot. I took the other and repeated the process.
"I was thinking, 'Elf'" He said when I finished with his left sneaker. "Connie and Guy said it was funny." Charlie said.
"Saw it." I said plainly. "Maybe 'The Last Samurai'?" I suggested and waited his answer getting up off the floor and dusting the back of my khaki's.
"Sounds good to me." He said.
"Are you forgetting anything?" I asked him. He also always has a bad habit of leaving something behind that we'd need to come back for later.
"Nope." He said and walked out the door. I looked towards his dresser and saw his wallet. I grabbed it and placed it in my back pocket, knowing he'd need it later.
~~~
So, what do you all think?