The Lord of all Things: The Fellowship
Summary: HP/LotR: So, Sauron decides that if he can't take over Middle Earth on his own, he'll enlist the aid of the darkest dark wizard of all time: Voldemort! When he does, the nine members of the Fellowship follow him to Hogwarts and hook up with the Harry Potter cast to stop these despicable villains before all hell breaks loose!
A/N: I'm usually a Harry Potter author (evidently), but I've also read the Lord of the Rings trilogy as well as the Hobbit and the release of The Return of the King as a cinematic experience has inspired me to turn to Lord of the Rings fics as well. Apparently though, I just can't leave my Harry Potter obsession behind! This is just kind of a goofy, light little story, but I'd like to know what you think! I'm a review whore…I'll give you candy. Or marshmallows. Want some marshmallows? Sure you do!
Disclaimer: Fortunately for Mr. Tolkein (even though he's dead) and Ms. Rowling, they own, respectively, The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, and I do not. If I owned them, you can only imagine what might happen to them. Poor things. You'd end up reading about such things as Legolas and Draco and their mysterious involvement with a vibrating bed…but I digress. I own nothing but the plotlines that are the product of my twisted imagination. Enjoy dear readers, and review!
Rain pattered against the windowpane as a sinister figure sat by the fire in a squashy armchair, playing a solitary game of solitaire. He hummed the new Justin Timberlake song to himself as he placed his red queen atop a red king, then cursed as he realized that this was an illegal move. Just then, a loud boom resonated throughout the quiet house.
"Wormtail! Door!" The sinister figure called to his bumbling servant. Wormtail scampered across the foyer and flung open the door. Three figures stood in the entrance as ominous thunder rumbled and lightning flashed at that precise moment. "What the hell?" Wormtail muttered. The figures swept past him, knocking him to the ground. As he pulled himself to his feet, he rushed into his master's suite to find the figures uncloaking themselves before Voldemort.
Voldemort, as per his appearance in another popular humor fiction, Lucky Day, existed only as a floating vapor with red eyes, which were currently trained on the approaching figures. The tallest of the three had unveiled himself, and Wormtail gasped at the sight of the giant fiery eye floating before Voldemort's throne, er, chair.
"What business brings you here?" Voldemort asked in a quaking voice, his red eyes meeting the giant orange one before him.
"I am called Sauron. Or at least I was before those two midgets destroyed my ring. I forged that ring myself dammit, and I want it back! But anyway, I have an interesting proposition for you."
"Propose away," Voldemort said, indicating a squashy armchair much like his own directly across from him. The fiery eye situated itself in some fashion above the armchair and continued.
"So I figured, shit, I'm just a floating eye now, and Middle Earth belongs to the humans again, blah blah blah. Plus, my ring is gone. So here's my evil plot. You help me and I help you. My ring was thrown back into the swirling depths of Mordor, but you've got that magic wand shit goin' on. So, if I help you to restore yourself to human form using the minimal powers I have left, you could probably use your new strength as a fully functional wizard to help me forge a new "one ring to rule all". Then, I could restore myself to full strength and I would get to rule Middle Earth again. That way, you could rule the wizarding world and I could rule Middle Earth and we'd both be happy. Doesn't that sound like a neat idea?"
"Well, I'm down. Who are your companions?"
The other figures answered before Sauron could respond. "I am Saruman, Sauron's mouthpiece. If he is the Sauron to your Voldemort, I would be the Saruman to your Tom Riddle. This is Wormtongue, obviously the counterpart to your servant Wormtail."
Wormtongue and Wormtail sized each other up as Saruman spoke, and Voldemort frowned in concentration. "There's only one problem. Tom's not here. Tom was the old me. This is the new me," he added, gesturing to his vapory self.
"Not a problem. I'm Saruman the White, the original White Rider. Gandalf just copied me when he became Gandalf the White. I can fix this."
Suddenly, Tom appeared in midair and fell to the floor with a crash. "What in the ultraviolet blazes is going on here!?"
"See? Now, let's get down to business."
Meanwhile, far far away at Hogwarts…
Harry Potter plopped down at the Gryffindor House table and heaved a huge sigh. Ron, who was seated to Harry's right, turned to his friend in concern.
"Alright there Harry?"
"Hardly. My scar's been killing me all day. It's given me a splitting headache."
Hermione joined the conversation at that point, wearing her usual look of smug intelligence. "It probably means the Voldemort is back, Harry. You know that's what it always means."
"Hermione, I'm not smart enough to figure that out for myself until later in the story. That's how it always works. You and Ron tell me over and over again what I should be doing or what's happening, and I refuse to believe you until it's too late and I figure things out for myself."
"Point taken. I shouldn't even try." Hermione returned to her meal and her conversation with Neville, who was sitting across the table.
At that moment, the windows lining the walls of the great hall imploded simultaneously as nine people crashed through them. Everyone was silent for several seconds, and then a witch began to scream at the top of her lungs and all hell broke loose. Students shot out of their chairs and headed for the exits, clogging the main doors to the Great Hall. The Great Hall was pandemonium, and in the confusion nine Hogwarts residents were snatched and forced outside into the chilly autumn air.
Twenty minutes later Harry found himself bound to the trunk of the Whomping Willow alongside eight of his fellow students and several faculty members of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In front of the nine prisoners stood nine companions shrouded in a mysterious shadow.
"Can we get rid of this mysterious shadow? I can't see a damn thing," one of the companions requested.
A floodlight appeared out of nowhere and bathed the scene in an eerie glow. As Harry's eyes adjusted, he realized that he recognized the nine figures before him.
"Hey!" Harry cried. "You're from that movie about that jewelry!"
No sooner had he uttered these words than Harry found himself face to face with a quivering arrow perched in a bow that was poised not an inch away from his nose, and the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his entire life was behind it, his face full of malice.
"Book, you miscreant. We're from a BOOK. Damn you modern teenagers. Don't you READ anymore?"
"Who needs books when you have the movie versions? So you're from that book, anyway. What are you doing here?"
Legolas put down his bow and sighed. "Gandalf, I'll let you explain this one. These are your kind, after all."
Gandalf stepped forward and cut Dumbledore free from the tree in one smooth motion. "Dumbledore, old friend. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but we needed to get you all together and explain things as quickly as possible, whether it caused an uproar or not."
Hermione opened her mouth to speak at this proclamation, no doubt to ask some sort of question, but she shut her mouth and was immediately attentive as Gandalf began to explain their plight.
"Our most hated and feared enemy, Sauron, has infiltrated your world. He is now in league with your fallen nemesis, Lord Voldemort. They have joined forces to forge another Ring of Power using Voldemort's dark magic. First, Sauron is going to help Voldemort regain his power and his strength, and then Voldemort will return the favor by using his rejuvenated magic to forge another ring. We must stop them and save your world and ours in a simultaneous burst of glory."
"Yes, but why are YOU here?" asked Ron, looking puzzled.
Aragorn was the first to speak. "We are the nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring, all relatively intact after our long journey. Except Boromir, who's actually dead, but we'll ignore that fact for the time being. We have come to aid you, our counterparts, in the attack against Sauron and HIS counterpart, Voldemort. We must work together if we are to stop them, as they have linked the plotlines in our respective books forever."
"We're in a book?"
"Shut up, Neville," Harry ordered, shaking his head. "Alright, so what are we supposed to do here?"
"Well, perhaps we should pair off according to our corresponding characters. That way, we'll be able to assign the missions according to the particular strengths of each type of person and their partner. Ready? Go!" Gandalf ordered, grabbing Dumbledore's elbow.
Nobody else moved.
"Come on now, it's not that difficult. Think about it. Dumbledore and I are obviously doubles. Think hard now everyone, and find your double! Once you have your buddy, go stand in a line in front of Hagrid's cabin. Last ones to pair off are rotten eggs!" Gandalf and Dumbledore pulled their robes up and ran swiftly to line up before anyone else. Everyone else began to wander around aimlessly, trying to find his or her partner.
In the end they got it right. Frodo and Harry linked arms and skipped happily to the line. They were almost indistinguishable from each other because they were roughly the same height and build, except that Harry was wearing shoes and did not possess resilient hobbit feet. Sam and Ron swapped sidekick stories jovially, and Hermione, Neville, Merry, and Pippin happily played duck duck goose as they waited for everyone to pair off. Draco and Legolas were smiling and good-naturedly arguing over which one of them was better looking and which one of them possessed lovelier white-blonde hair. Gimli and Rubeus Hagrid were attempting to drag combs through their nasty manes and beards as McGonagall and Aragorn looked on, grimacing smugly. Snape and Boromir eyed each other suspiciously as Gandalf called the meeting to order. The first gathering of the full Fellowship was about to begin.
Summary: HP/LotR: So, Sauron decides that if he can't take over Middle Earth on his own, he'll enlist the aid of the darkest dark wizard of all time: Voldemort! When he does, the nine members of the Fellowship follow him to Hogwarts and hook up with the Harry Potter cast to stop these despicable villains before all hell breaks loose!
A/N: I'm usually a Harry Potter author (evidently), but I've also read the Lord of the Rings trilogy as well as the Hobbit and the release of The Return of the King as a cinematic experience has inspired me to turn to Lord of the Rings fics as well. Apparently though, I just can't leave my Harry Potter obsession behind! This is just kind of a goofy, light little story, but I'd like to know what you think! I'm a review whore…I'll give you candy. Or marshmallows. Want some marshmallows? Sure you do!
Disclaimer: Fortunately for Mr. Tolkein (even though he's dead) and Ms. Rowling, they own, respectively, The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, and I do not. If I owned them, you can only imagine what might happen to them. Poor things. You'd end up reading about such things as Legolas and Draco and their mysterious involvement with a vibrating bed…but I digress. I own nothing but the plotlines that are the product of my twisted imagination. Enjoy dear readers, and review!
Rain pattered against the windowpane as a sinister figure sat by the fire in a squashy armchair, playing a solitary game of solitaire. He hummed the new Justin Timberlake song to himself as he placed his red queen atop a red king, then cursed as he realized that this was an illegal move. Just then, a loud boom resonated throughout the quiet house.
"Wormtail! Door!" The sinister figure called to his bumbling servant. Wormtail scampered across the foyer and flung open the door. Three figures stood in the entrance as ominous thunder rumbled and lightning flashed at that precise moment. "What the hell?" Wormtail muttered. The figures swept past him, knocking him to the ground. As he pulled himself to his feet, he rushed into his master's suite to find the figures uncloaking themselves before Voldemort.
Voldemort, as per his appearance in another popular humor fiction, Lucky Day, existed only as a floating vapor with red eyes, which were currently trained on the approaching figures. The tallest of the three had unveiled himself, and Wormtail gasped at the sight of the giant fiery eye floating before Voldemort's throne, er, chair.
"What business brings you here?" Voldemort asked in a quaking voice, his red eyes meeting the giant orange one before him.
"I am called Sauron. Or at least I was before those two midgets destroyed my ring. I forged that ring myself dammit, and I want it back! But anyway, I have an interesting proposition for you."
"Propose away," Voldemort said, indicating a squashy armchair much like his own directly across from him. The fiery eye situated itself in some fashion above the armchair and continued.
"So I figured, shit, I'm just a floating eye now, and Middle Earth belongs to the humans again, blah blah blah. Plus, my ring is gone. So here's my evil plot. You help me and I help you. My ring was thrown back into the swirling depths of Mordor, but you've got that magic wand shit goin' on. So, if I help you to restore yourself to human form using the minimal powers I have left, you could probably use your new strength as a fully functional wizard to help me forge a new "one ring to rule all". Then, I could restore myself to full strength and I would get to rule Middle Earth again. That way, you could rule the wizarding world and I could rule Middle Earth and we'd both be happy. Doesn't that sound like a neat idea?"
"Well, I'm down. Who are your companions?"
The other figures answered before Sauron could respond. "I am Saruman, Sauron's mouthpiece. If he is the Sauron to your Voldemort, I would be the Saruman to your Tom Riddle. This is Wormtongue, obviously the counterpart to your servant Wormtail."
Wormtongue and Wormtail sized each other up as Saruman spoke, and Voldemort frowned in concentration. "There's only one problem. Tom's not here. Tom was the old me. This is the new me," he added, gesturing to his vapory self.
"Not a problem. I'm Saruman the White, the original White Rider. Gandalf just copied me when he became Gandalf the White. I can fix this."
Suddenly, Tom appeared in midair and fell to the floor with a crash. "What in the ultraviolet blazes is going on here!?"
"See? Now, let's get down to business."
Meanwhile, far far away at Hogwarts…
Harry Potter plopped down at the Gryffindor House table and heaved a huge sigh. Ron, who was seated to Harry's right, turned to his friend in concern.
"Alright there Harry?"
"Hardly. My scar's been killing me all day. It's given me a splitting headache."
Hermione joined the conversation at that point, wearing her usual look of smug intelligence. "It probably means the Voldemort is back, Harry. You know that's what it always means."
"Hermione, I'm not smart enough to figure that out for myself until later in the story. That's how it always works. You and Ron tell me over and over again what I should be doing or what's happening, and I refuse to believe you until it's too late and I figure things out for myself."
"Point taken. I shouldn't even try." Hermione returned to her meal and her conversation with Neville, who was sitting across the table.
At that moment, the windows lining the walls of the great hall imploded simultaneously as nine people crashed through them. Everyone was silent for several seconds, and then a witch began to scream at the top of her lungs and all hell broke loose. Students shot out of their chairs and headed for the exits, clogging the main doors to the Great Hall. The Great Hall was pandemonium, and in the confusion nine Hogwarts residents were snatched and forced outside into the chilly autumn air.
Twenty minutes later Harry found himself bound to the trunk of the Whomping Willow alongside eight of his fellow students and several faculty members of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In front of the nine prisoners stood nine companions shrouded in a mysterious shadow.
"Can we get rid of this mysterious shadow? I can't see a damn thing," one of the companions requested.
A floodlight appeared out of nowhere and bathed the scene in an eerie glow. As Harry's eyes adjusted, he realized that he recognized the nine figures before him.
"Hey!" Harry cried. "You're from that movie about that jewelry!"
No sooner had he uttered these words than Harry found himself face to face with a quivering arrow perched in a bow that was poised not an inch away from his nose, and the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his entire life was behind it, his face full of malice.
"Book, you miscreant. We're from a BOOK. Damn you modern teenagers. Don't you READ anymore?"
"Who needs books when you have the movie versions? So you're from that book, anyway. What are you doing here?"
Legolas put down his bow and sighed. "Gandalf, I'll let you explain this one. These are your kind, after all."
Gandalf stepped forward and cut Dumbledore free from the tree in one smooth motion. "Dumbledore, old friend. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but we needed to get you all together and explain things as quickly as possible, whether it caused an uproar or not."
Hermione opened her mouth to speak at this proclamation, no doubt to ask some sort of question, but she shut her mouth and was immediately attentive as Gandalf began to explain their plight.
"Our most hated and feared enemy, Sauron, has infiltrated your world. He is now in league with your fallen nemesis, Lord Voldemort. They have joined forces to forge another Ring of Power using Voldemort's dark magic. First, Sauron is going to help Voldemort regain his power and his strength, and then Voldemort will return the favor by using his rejuvenated magic to forge another ring. We must stop them and save your world and ours in a simultaneous burst of glory."
"Yes, but why are YOU here?" asked Ron, looking puzzled.
Aragorn was the first to speak. "We are the nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring, all relatively intact after our long journey. Except Boromir, who's actually dead, but we'll ignore that fact for the time being. We have come to aid you, our counterparts, in the attack against Sauron and HIS counterpart, Voldemort. We must work together if we are to stop them, as they have linked the plotlines in our respective books forever."
"We're in a book?"
"Shut up, Neville," Harry ordered, shaking his head. "Alright, so what are we supposed to do here?"
"Well, perhaps we should pair off according to our corresponding characters. That way, we'll be able to assign the missions according to the particular strengths of each type of person and their partner. Ready? Go!" Gandalf ordered, grabbing Dumbledore's elbow.
Nobody else moved.
"Come on now, it's not that difficult. Think about it. Dumbledore and I are obviously doubles. Think hard now everyone, and find your double! Once you have your buddy, go stand in a line in front of Hagrid's cabin. Last ones to pair off are rotten eggs!" Gandalf and Dumbledore pulled their robes up and ran swiftly to line up before anyone else. Everyone else began to wander around aimlessly, trying to find his or her partner.
In the end they got it right. Frodo and Harry linked arms and skipped happily to the line. They were almost indistinguishable from each other because they were roughly the same height and build, except that Harry was wearing shoes and did not possess resilient hobbit feet. Sam and Ron swapped sidekick stories jovially, and Hermione, Neville, Merry, and Pippin happily played duck duck goose as they waited for everyone to pair off. Draco and Legolas were smiling and good-naturedly arguing over which one of them was better looking and which one of them possessed lovelier white-blonde hair. Gimli and Rubeus Hagrid were attempting to drag combs through their nasty manes and beards as McGonagall and Aragorn looked on, grimacing smugly. Snape and Boromir eyed each other suspiciously as Gandalf called the meeting to order. The first gathering of the full Fellowship was about to begin.