Going Home
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.
She fell to the ground, legs giving out from beneath her.
Anteiku was going up in flames.
Her home. Her friends. Her life. The place that held so much happiness, which had been her refuge, a safe haven, a dysfunctional family of sorts was gone-bathed in blood and dark memories, swathed in fire that would swallow it whole.
Her heart was in pieces, mourning for everyone, the names and memories flashing past too fast for her to register, for her to pay the proper homage, the homage they deserved. The Manager was dead for sure, along with the Devil Ape and the Black Dog-known to her with much more familiar and close names-Enji-san and Irimi-san. Nishiki-kun was probably gone already, leaving Kimi-san behind.
No more would be the content and happy days at the coffee shop, inhaling the scent of coffee, actually being able to enjoy something along with the humans, laughing away with her friends, her family.
The sign 'Anteiku' crashed to the ground with a finality that made her gasp for breath, and that was when she saw a figure emerge from the coffee shop, cradling a figure draped in white cloth.
Her eyes widened in realization.
Kaneki.
She ignored the implications of his presence-that Aogiri Tree would most probably be here as well, that the 20th Ward would only face further investigation and there would be an increased danger for her, Hinami and those of Anteiku that were still surviving, but all she could see now was the calm and distant look in his eyes, the purpose in his stride, and she couldn't move her eyes away from the body underneath the white cloth. It wasn't a ghoul-she could tell that much with her sense of smell, and selfishly, she just wanted to talk to Kaneki, to sidestep the issue of the dead human, to reconnect with her-whoever he was to her-after so long an absence, so many unexplained actions.
But it was more that sense of loss that drew her to him, that they both shared a loss, and needed to heal together through the shared wound.
She took off towards him at a run, towards Anteiku, and foolishly ignoring the fact that a burning building would of course have its own dangers, straight into the path of a falling boulder. She looked up too late, and was thrown to the ground, but a few of her brother's signature red arrows cut the block of cement into pieces before it could touch her.
She sat, unblinking for a moment, tears fizzling to steam by the fire around her.
He had always been the silent observer. The one who sat by while the others laughed and went wild, only a slight smile gracing his features as he watched the antics of his friends. Because of his rock solid character and his unwavering ability to accomplish what others ask of him, he had been named assistant manager of Anteiku.
And now he was charged with one final thing: keep Touka and Hinami safe.
He saw Kaneki walking slowly, but not without purpose, a figure swaddled in white cloth in his arms. He knew it was a human, and that the human was dead. He saw Touka dashing towards Kaneki, but then slowed and stopped as she finally saw her target only a few feet away. She had a small, hopeful smile on her face, and he grimly realized that she intended for Kaneki to return to them.
The scent of the human was oddly familiar, a mixture of fresh coffee and blood, and with silent realization, he stepped into Touka's path just as Kaneki stared off into the distance, and slowly turned, bringing what he now knew was the boy's best friend to wherever they wanted to go.
He kept his back to Touka on purpose, partly to give Kaneki and his friend a send off, and so that he wouldn't have to see Touka's face.
"Yomo…-san?"
"I'm sorry." A simple apology. It was not that he would be able to fix this situation if he said more anyway. "Yoshimura-san asked me to do this last job for him."
Throwing the Manager into it was completely unnecessary, but it would serve as a sufficient guilt trip and hamper if Touka ever had the notion of talking to Kaneki again.
After all, if they were seen consorting with an SS-ranked ghoul, one eyed just like the Owl, they would fall under immediate suspicion and be taken by the CCG. Killed. Draw attention to everyone in relation to them, which were mostly other ghouls.
As if he had justified his own actions to himself, he slowly unclenched his fist, and opened his ears to the sound of Touka's silent tears. "Touka…"
"All we can do," he added, his own stone expression finally crumbling-after who knows how long, since before Anteiku, since he ate his best friend-"Is to live on while we bear our losses."
In the distance, Kaneki walked on, boots crunching softly on the freshly fallen snow.
He winced, trying to keep from groaning as he shifted, letting the snow fall from his body. He had been knocked out halfway through the battle, and it might have been lucky, since no one paid him any attention, hence granting him a ticket out alive. As long as he managed to avoid any murderous ghouls they may have missed…
"Shuto-san!" A voice cried out a few feet to his left, and he was greeted by the grinning face of his coworker Kengoro. "You're alive!"
He tried to push himself upright, arm nearly giving out underneath him as he realized it was broken. He tumbled back into the snow, getting a mouthful of it, and instantly stiffened as he saw a pair of black boots step past his face. Kengoro had went silent, and he lifted his gaze to see the famed Eyepatch, seeing his red, ghoul eye. He froze, wondering whether playing dead would still be an available option at this time, and cast a glance backwards to see that Kengoro had already taken out his rifle. Wanting to at least provide help for his friend, he reached for his own as well-only to have the ghoul step past him without a glance.
Confused, he looked at his friend, who looked equally bemused. For a ghoul to overlook easy prey like them…well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. For now, he would just be glad to be alive.
It was then he noticed the cloth swaying in the cold winter wind from the ghoul's arms, covering a humanoid shape. His features softened, before morphing into confusion.
He lost…someone dear to him?
She had only just arrived on the scene, but she could tell it had been a brutal fight, and that was speaking from nine years of medical experience, serving on the field with the CCG. All the soldiers had been taught basic CPR, and could make crude assessments of wounds, to minimize the need of bringing medic civilians onto the field where stray ghouls could still be lurking around. But she had experience, she knew who to save and who was beyond help, she could administer more advanced medical help, and that was why despite the increased level of S ranked ghouls in the area, she was still called in.
She saw a couple of soldiers desperately trying to revive their fallen comrade, but she determined that he was beyond help by the deathly blue pallor of his skin. She turned away, letting them have a few more seconds, minutes of hope.
She was in the bulky CCG uniform, which hindered her movements a lot as she helped maneuver another victim into the waiting ambulance. It was supposed to offer extra protection, but she didn't see the point, given how many wounds she had already seen with the ghoul tearing through the padded shirt like it was paper. She knelt down beside another victim, a few quick checks delivering the verdict of death, and she signaled for a second group of people-delegated to the dead-to take this one away.
It was then she saw the ghoul.
They called him Eyepatch, gave him a ranking of S, but given how much havoc he had caused with Aogiri in the past few days, past few hours, the number of dead he had produced in the past few minutes, even, she felt that he should get a higher ranking. At least, a higher priority to be hunted down. And yet here he was, strolling through the field after a battle, no one paying him any mind. What was the CCG doing?
She saw the white bundle in his arms, and tears pricked her eyes as she looked away, the rage that previously filled her gone.
Had she not held the remains of her child like this, after a ghoul had devoured his fill?
Just this once, she would let it go.
He had his gun up and aimed at the Eyepatch, with a small ring of his friends around him. It probably wouldn't do much against such a high ranked ghoul, but he would be damned if he let the ghoul who killed so many of his friends walk away just like that. Even now, Komoro was still in shock, head in his hands, trembling beside a pile of debris.
Eyepatch had his back perfectly straight, one eye red, telling of the blood he had bled, the blood that stained his hands. His eyes were cast downwards, shadowed and unfathomable, towards his arms.
In his arms, was…was?
A figure covered in white cloth, head tilted backwards, an arm dangling out from underneath the cloth. A fallen comrade? A fellow ghoul? A lover? Why would a ghoul, the very epitome of evil and suffering show so much care for a figure swathed in white? Did ghouls know love after all?
He deserves the pain. He thought halfheartedly, but deep down he knew that no one deserved the pain and grief he had just went through by losing so many dear friends and comrades.
Eyepatch walked face first into the wind.
The cloth fluttered away as a particularly strong gust of wind blew, and the ghoul made no motion to catch it, almost as if keeping the person in his arms was the most important thing in the world right now. Everyone lowered their guns as one when they saw what-who was underneath. It could be shock, it could be pity, it could be a silent acknowledgement of grief and maybe the dawning of a new understanding.
Blond hair glowing like the sun, a CCG uniform, a peaceful smile on the face tilted heavenwards.
He was holding one of their own.
White hair of the devil, one red eye and one brown eye.
That was definitely him.
"Marude-san." He tapped his earpiece, to let the person on the other end of the line know that he was addressing them. "I have an Eyepatch sighting here."
He did not mention the detached expression on his face, his carefully blank eyes, nor the telltale care with which he held the bundle-whatever it was-with so much love that it sickened him. Ghouls aren't supposed to show love. No ghoul capable of loving would eat people. Eat a friend, eat someone's family.
"Yeah, understood." Marude sighed briefly on the other end. A pause, then, "Yoshitoki-san. That's definitely the one Houji-san was investigating."
They were all so tired, tired of war, tired of fighting. It was just a battle, but the war between humans and ghouls would last for a long time to come.
He wished all the death and pain could just stop.
"How should we handle this?"
He stopped. That was definitely the Eyepatch, his one eyed red glory displayed for all to see. He didn't run, or hide. He would let Eyepatch offer him what he craved-to join his friends, his brothers, in the afterlife.
But the Eyepatch walked right past him, his attention focused on something else. Someone that could blank out the entire world for him, and he recognized the CCG issued uniform. An arm draped over his waist, the other dangling freely from his body. Limply. A dead weight.
He had seen that face somewhere before, in the office, but then again, so many people had died that he didn't bother to give a name to the face. The ghoul certainly seemed to know him well enough.
A traitor, he decided. The teen with a warm smile and shining eyes was a traitor to humankind.
He saw the ghoul look around, and shrank back into the shadows of the building he had concealed himself in.
He wasn't proud of the fact that he had froze, then turned tail and run from the battle scene as soon as the fighting began. But he had a family to return to, a six month old daughter and a four year old son that he wanted to be a father to.
As if that justified anything.
He risked a glance out again, and decided that the ghoul probably had no intent to kill right now. In fact, he looked a little…lost?
There was one of their soldiers in his arms, a trophy of some sort, maybe. He hadn't done much research on ghouls, raised on nightmarish tales designed to keep children in line. Children who didn't brush their teeth would be kidnapped by ghouls to have their body eaten, and their heads used as trophies to decorate the ghoul's house.
The ghoul completed his acknowledgement of the surroundings-at least that was what it felt like to him, that the ghoul wasn't really paying attention to anything in particular during the brief sweep-before lifting the head of the trophy(?) slightly, as if to have a closer look. The ghoul's mouth was drawn into a frown, and he hoped that the ghoul hadn't decided that this one wasn't sufficient, and decided to pick a new trophy instead.
But then the ghoul lowered the head, and he finally caught a good glimpse of the poor soldier who was selected.
He was startled to find a beautiful, sunny smile on the dead boy's face.
A helicopter flew over him from above, the strong wind generated setting both him and Hide's hair into motion. Snow whirled about them, and finally, they were truly alone, away from the curious eyes, the hostile eyes, the judging eyes. He had laid a blanket of cloth over Hide for that very reason, to prevent his reputation being tarnished by being associated with a ghoul, a well known and widely hunted one at that. But he didn't try to snatch the cloth back when it fluttered away, not wanting to drop his friend.
And he wanted it known that he was proud of his association with Nagachika Hideyoshi.
He lifted Hide's head for the third time, taking in his friend's features, the closed eyes curved in joy, hiding away the radiance underneath. That beautiful smile he had given him, a soft ray of warm sunlight. His words still echoed in his head.
Let's go home, Kaneki.
He smiled softly, Hide's smile touching him despite the coldness of the body he held. He closed his eyes, wanting to savor this last moment with his friend.
The crunching snow beneath his feet was the only sound in his world as he held his sunshine in his arms, knowing that he may never have such a chance again. He would only have until he took Hide home. And selfishly, he wanted the journey home to last forever.
It couldn't.
He sensed a presence before him, and opened his eyes, looking forward with a strange calmness and acceptance, drawing strength from the feel of Hide's body in his arms, knowing that this fight would be for his best friend. To get him home, as he promised.
A gold briefcase, white hair similar to his own. An equally white coat.
He walked into the light with a businesslike attitude, and the two stared at each other for a moment.
Kaneki quietly laid down Hide's body in the snow, leaving himself wide open, but trusting his opponent to grant him the chance to say a proper goodbye to his best friend. That he would understand that ghouls had feelings and loved as dearly as any human.
His mouth quirked up into a slight smile, his eyes meeting the man's.
And they charged.
I took quite a few liberties with the settings of this fic, given that I only watched the anime and read a bit of fanfiction before starting this fic, driven by all the emotional fallback I received from Episode 12 of Tokyo Ghoul: Root A.
So a few notes on this fic.
This is my take on the complete scene of the anime where the song Unravel started playing, and a minor extension at the very end. It started from Touka's point of view, her feelings on Anteiku's destruction. Hide never meant much to her, and I wondered how she would feel when someone very important was taken away from a person she loved (or love interest, aka Kaneki) but she also had her own pain to deal with regarding Anteiku's destruction, and the manager's death. I always felt that Hide somehow outshadowed the manager if one watched all episodes within the same day.
Then Yomo. I'm ashamed to admit I had to Google his name, he just didn't stand out to me before. To me, he's always been the silent one at the side, steady and unwavering, but also not notable. I wanted to delve into him a bit, his reasons for stopping Touka and what he thought of the entire situation.
Everyone after the two canon characters were my own OCs, based on the CCG soldiers that saw Kaneki as he made his trip to…wherever. I wanted to capture the death and destruction, and the reason why they didn't attack Kaneki-I believed that some would understand grief, even in ghouls, and some were just too drained and tired to crave more blood and death. The first one was meant to symbolize optimism, and an open attitude. The second was bleak reality, reluctant understanding and a reminder that there was a reason ghouls were seen to be bad.
The third one was the one that inspired the writing of this story, from the scene where the cloth flew away from Hide's body, and the band of soldiers on their knees lowered their guns. I'm not sure what I wanted to convey through that, but if I had to describe it, it would be a new beginning of questioning and acknowledgement that ghouls and humans could love each other. While there had been many instances where ghouls and humans fell in love or became friends, the stark contrast of a CCG uniform and one of the most hunted ghouls would drive the point home.
The fourth is hatred. I've always wondered why no one else bothered to report Kaneki except for that one, so I decided to write his character as one that scoffs at the idea of ghouls caring. Not exactly hatred, either, but objectification, or the viewing of ghouls as something inferior, subhuman, inhumane. The fifth is anger and a touch of pessimism. The sixth, to me, is the most important of all, prejudice taught since young. I'm assuming here that ghouls have existed for a long time, and like the Boogeyman, symbolizes evil and fear for every child, ingrained into the subconscious mind.
Lastly, Kaneki made a fitting close. I debated whether I should put in a writing of Hide, but decided against him. Despite him being my favorite character, I don't have a good grasp on him yet. So far when I think of him all I get is the sun. Not a good thing when you have to consider other aspects as well.
Note that throughout the fic I never specified that Hide was dead, due to a video on Youtube that convinced me otherwise. It was only said that others assumed that he was dead. So I've been skirting the issue so that if it turns out that he's alive, this fic would still make sense in the canon world. And it irked me to no end that I couldn't make a satisfying end to Kaneki's bit, given that he was just looking at Arima last we saw him in the anime. So…I just made them charge. I know it doesn't make sense, since Hide's body was left in front of him, and he would NOT step on his best friend's body, but.
Anyhow, despite its quirks and faults, I hope you enjoyed my fic! Feel free to share any thoughts, no matter how weird. Flame if you must, but WITHIN REASON. Thank you.