Reunited

"Let's hope you're not!"
This sentence was playing over and over again in Kate's head. Why did Sawyer treat her that way? She needed his support to hang on this new feature. She couldn't be on her own right now and he was treating her like trash.
For a moment she thought that he was right and all of that was her fault. When he was sharing his feelings with her she had gone and made a big mess of their relationship.
For God's sake! She made him to think that she was using him! When he said told her that that's what he thought, she felt like a whore! And now he's gone… With Juliet! And Jack said that he loved her… What the hell is happening to the world?
She had to admit, she didn't like seeing Jack hanging out with Juliet. And Jack used to trust her and now he barely look at her.
To complete the picture, Sawyer had turned different too and she didn't even know why he was acting the way he was ever since he came back from The Black Rock.
He didn't look like the same Sawyer that held her tightly and told her that he loved her, he look distant and angry and when she look in his eyes she saw guilt, but she wasn't quite sure what for.
The whole thing was making her feel sick and like she was in the middle of some kind of war. How could she tell him she was expecting a baby, if he couldn't even look her straight in the eye?
While he was making his way back to Kate, all Sawyer could think about was what she said before he decided to turn back to the camp.
Was she really…? Holy crap! He couldn't even bring himself to say the word!
His mind was in some battle right now: one side was happy, because if she was…it, then everything may work out, but the side was telling him that he couldn't raise a child!
He was nothing more than a damn confidence man and a murder!
When he killed Cooper, he thought that there wasn't a reason for him to live anymore, because he already killed the guy who destroyed his life, so what was worth living for? Now, he murdered Sawyer and was struggling with who he was now. Who the hell is James anyway?
But now, he had to think of answers to all these questions, because he didn't know anymore who he was and if there was this reason to stay alive.
A reason much stronger than anything he had felt before and he didn't know how to deal with it. No, this was to difficult, he didn't deserve a chance like that and besides Kate always had something to go back for….which never turned out to be him.

His thoughts stopped when he saw the rest of the group. They were all silent and then he understood why; Naomi was dead!
When Sawyer and the others walked over, Kate tried to look at him but he turned away. That made her even more miserable.
When the crowd wore down, she pulled him aside. They needed to talk. No more games.
"James we need to talk," she said, feeling a lump in her throat.
"We have nothing to talk about," he said slightly shaking. She noticed he was nervous.
"Yes we do! Why are you acting like that? What happened in the damn Black Rock?" her voice grew louder, so they moved to get more distance between them and the crowd.
"Leave me alone Kate! Don't you have someone to save?" he said, his voice full of sarcasm.
"Sawyer, did you hear what I said to you earlier?" she said trying to prevent the tears that were burning eyes from falling.
"What the hell!" he yelled, and turned to her again, his face full of anger, "Sawyer is dead ok?"
She looked at him, a confused look on her face, "What are you talking about?"
Was he almost crying? No, this was Sawyer, he didn't cry.
"I killed him ok? Are you happy now? I'm nothing but a damn murder Kate," he said grabbing her shoulders, a guilty and ashamed looked plastered across his face. Kate wanted to comfort him and tell him that everything was gonna be alright, but even she didn't believe that. Finally she allowed the tears to flow in paths down her cheeks and she lowered her head.
"Is this the kind of man who you want to be the father of your child?" he asked after a long pause which seems to last for eternity. Kate didn't know what to say, especially after what he had just told her.
"I knew it," he said, taking his hands from her shoulders and began to walk away, a sad smile on his face. She couldn't let him leave her again, so she did the one thing she could think of.
"Wait!" she said grabbing his hand, "What did you mean? That makes no sense! Who did you kill?"
"Weren't you listening to what I said?"he turned his head a little and tried to look at her, "I killed the man who destroyed my life but the funny thing is, I don't feel ok now.. I feel like my life was over and I am a damn hopeless case."
"He was here in the island?" she asked, a confused look on her face.
"I don't know how, but he was here. He showed me that…. don't matter anymore, right?" He gave her another smile to try and cheer her up but all she saw was pain.
"How did you know was him?" she asked, trying to understand, but she could quite get a hold on it. Why did he treated her so badly when he came back? Why he was pushing her away like she had some disease?
" It doesn't matter anymore. He is dead and I murdered him, that's all that matters!" his voice filling with anger again and let his hair cover his eyes to conceal his real feelings. Kate caught her breath again, and prepared herself as she was about to make the biggest and best decision in her life.She couldn't spend the rest of her life behind the curtain; she needed let out what she was feeling.
"You asked me a question. Well, I'm gonna answer now," she said looking braver than she was feeling. Sawyer kept quite and raised her chin and forced him to look in her eyes.
"Like or not, you're the father of my baby. And I can die, doesn't this don't mean anything for you?" The thought of Sawyer not giving a damn, really hurt her feelings, but she knew she shouldn't show what she was truly feeling."So stop with all this bullshit because I know what you're doing! I already saw this play, James."
He looked confused, "What are you talking about it? Are you saying that you want me?"
The conversation was interrupted by Sayid, who wanted to talk to Sawyer in private.
"Not now, Sayid," Kate muttered, giving him a dark look.
"We kept the signal! We'll be safe soon," he explained trying to make her change her mind.
"I said not now!" she repeated and he went away, leaving them alone again.
"See, you're not gonna die Freckles. Keep cool," he shugging his shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. But she noticed her nickname had come back and felt a little of relief. She didn't want and she won't lose him.
"James, please… I need you. WE need you." Sawyer saw in her eyes how desperate she was to stay with him.
After a pause she continued, but this time a her voice beginning to fill with fear, "Look, I know I messed up things, but... "
Sawyer put his finger to her lips, "I already heard enough, Freckles. I saw you and Jack before I went,"
"Saw what?"
"He said that he loves you…" He muttered so soft that she almost couldn't hear him.
"And did you hear my answer?" she asked.
"No," he admitted.
"I didn't say anything," she looked deep in his eyes, "he was saying that you were trying to protect me… That was it!"
"Whatever." he said, crossing his arms.
"James, why do you want me to hate you so badly?" she was loosing her patience and becoming worn down.
"I am not what you were looking for, so get the hell out of here," Sawyer yelled but Kate knew him enough to know that all of the rudeness was just part of his method.
"How in hell do you know what I'm looking for?" she was shouting too now. Her hormones were beginning to get the better of her.
"I know enough," he said simply.
"No you don't! I made my mistakes okay? But, what the hell…" She didn't know what else to say and began to cry a little bit, making him show his softer side.
"Don't force yourself too much, Freckles," he smiled, tempting her to respond but she knew she had to think it through first.
"So is this how you want to keep things? When I slept with you, I didn't know you were a coward!"
"Am I? Looked yourself in the mirror lately sugar?"
"I'm trying to say that I don't need to go back for you!"
"Dont tell me…" he didn't show interest in her, until she continued.
"Because I have no reason to want to be away of you in first place! You're the one I run to, James… Didn't you ever notice, you idiot?" Her lips moved to form a smile and he raised an eyebrow, looking surprised.
"Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?" He asked, really excited about what she said. He couldn't look at her because he was ashamed of he'd done, because he wanted to be a better man for her. When he killed Cooper all his dreams fell into pieces. Somehow, Kate was always seemed to be the sunshine after a big storm in his life.
"James you are not perfect, but you're the one I chose," her smile growing huge and she looked so sure of what she'd just said, that he couldn't do anything but kiss her.
So, just like their second kiss he pulled her, grabbing her waist and giving her the most passionate, deeper and delivered kiss that they're both ever experienced. His tongue started sort of a sexual dance with hers, like the kiss were just the beginning of something more, however Kate was not satisfied yet, there was another thing she had to say.
"James, wait," she whispered in his ear, breaking suddenly the kiss.
"What?" he asked trying to recover his breath.
"There's another thing that I never said and I think that there will never be time better time than this.,"
"Spit it out, Freckles," he was starting to get anxious and he really hated that feeling.
Kate smiled again and bit her bottom lip and stood on her toes, before finally whispering in his ear, "I love you"
Those three words never had mean to him but the sound of them appearing right from her month were the most incredible thing that he could feel deep inside.
"I can't promise you anything, Freckles." he said.
"Just one thing?" she asked
"Okay, one thing," he sighed
"Stop calling people by their real names, it's a good start. This was really freaking me out," she said sounding funny so he enveloped her in his arms tightly, almost cutting off her air supply.
"Hell, I missed you," he declared with a poetic and deeper tone, "I mean, you both" He tested the sentence to see how it sounded
Now, they had a reason to change their lives.

the end.

note: Thank you Alexis for being the sweetest beta ever ;)