Warning! Extreme Edward, Bella, Sakura, and Sasuke bashing ahead! Flames will be used to fuel Ameratsu and reviews make me write more! If I don't get at least 15 reviews, I won't post anymore one-shots! So review! And if you doubt me, look at my other two one-shots.

I do not own Naruto and if I owned Twilight, I would kill myself.

It was a beautiful summer day. Wait, that's not right, it was pouring cats and dogs. Not literally mind you, because if it was, it wouldn't be natural.

So, it was a rainy summer day. This particular kind of weather was normal for the town of Forks; it was always raining in Forks. What wasn't normal about this specific day was that Uchiha Sasuke didn't know why he was in Forks. Heck, he didn't even know that he was in Forks; he thought that he had somehow gotten lost in the woods of Sound. How he ended up in Forks, we will never know.

Now, normally, everyone would cheer that Sasuke was gone. Except that normally he wouldn't have run into a certain vampire. Said vampire wasn't very pleased to be in the company of a duck-but-hair-dude-guy that had just asked him for directions to a place called Sound Village, which didn't exist.

"There is no place called the Sound Village," Edward Cullen said with carefully schooled features. Sasuke looked incredulous; he couldn't believe he had just stooped to asking for directions and ended up with some idiot that didn't know his basic geography.

"The Hidden Sound Village is a major Hidden Village. You can't be stupid enough not to know it," Sasuke retorted, thinking that it was just a civilian that didn't know his left from right.

"How am I supposed to know where it is if it is a Hidden Village?" he snapped at duck-but. They glared at each other, butterscotch meeting onyx before Sasuke got mad that the other had his, so he thought, Bloodline Limit activated. When he activated his Sharingan, Edward was shocked; no human could do that, or so he thought.

Thinking that Sasuke was an immortal, like him, he eagerly leaned forward and bared his teeth. Sasuke was weirded out and got ready to use Chidori on the crazy person should he attack.

"So, what are you?" Edward asked; he had never seen anything, or one, with the Sharingan. Sasuke looked affronted.

"I'm an Uchiha," he said, expecting Edward to bow down to him or something. Edward furrowed his brow.

"I've never heard of an Uchiha. What do you eat?" Edward asked. Sasuke didn't get where he was getting all these questions from. He glared at Edward.

"What do you eat?" he shot back.

"I prefer mountain lions, but I'll eat deer and other wild-life," Edward replied, looking impatient for his question to be answered. Sasuke gave him a confused look, or he would have if he wasn't such an emo. Instead he just glared at the other. Edward noticed his confused look and took it for confusion on his diet, not realizing that Sasuke didn't know he was a vampire.

"I try not to eat humans, because I feel like they aren't good enough for me," he explained. Sasuke's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously, finally getting that Edward might be dangerous.

"I'm a vampire, of course! What are you?" Edward exclaimed; he didn't understand what this guy's deal was.

"I'm human," Sasuke dead-paned. Edward froze.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'm hotter than you anyway," Sasuke bragged. Edward raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"I'm the hot, sexy immortal. I bet you don't even have a fan," he said like he really believed what he was saying. As if!

"Sasuke-kun! Where are you, Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke froze.

"Hide me!" he whispered desperately to Edward. Edward just gave a superior smirk.

"Make me."

It was too late for Sasuke anyway. The pink-haired menace had already arrived with a new friend in tow. The other girl promptly tripped over grass when they entered the clearing, causing a chain reaction.

First, Edward ran across the clearing and caught Bella. Then Sakura caught sight of Sasuke, causing Sasuke to give up his desperate search for shelter and hold up a kunai.

"Aw! Sasuke-kun! You're not going to use that on me because you love me!" Sakura cried. Sasuke shuddered.

While all this was going on, in the nearby woods Itachi and Deidara were also lost.

"I'm sorry! It's hard to read a map with this scope on, un!" Deidara tried to defend himself.

"Then take the scope off," Itachi suggested calmly, but inside, he was seething at the blonde's stupidity. Deidara just looked at Itachi like he was crazy.

"Why? So you can Mangekyo me, un?" Deidara asked nastily. Itachi sighed.

"No," Itachi said shortly.

Deidara would have answered, but they had arrived at the clearing everyone one was in. Chaos was beginning to break out.

Edward was breaking Bella's will and was manipulating her. Sakura was clinging to Sasuke who was trying to escape.

"Damn, what the hell happened here, un?" Deidara asked in a slightly awed tone, taking in the scene. Itachi didn't say anything, just waited to be noticed by those in the clearing. Sasuke was the first.

"Itachi! I will kill you!" he shouted, sounding stupid and emo.

"Foolish little brother, you are weak. Why are you weak? Because you are… a pathetic emo." Itachi insulted him. Edward looked at him in surprise, forgetting for a moment that Bella was trying to get in his pants.

"Excuse me, but what did you say?!" Edward snarled. Itachi looked at him with his sharingan.

"You are all weak," he said as the Mangekyo activated.

"Ameratsu!" he said, feeling sadistic glee as the black flames started to consume Edward and Sasuke. Turns out there is another way to kill vampires, people!

While Itachi was ridding the world of the two emos, Bella and Sakura began to wail. Their horrible voices and ugliness started to break Deidara, and we all know aggravating Deidara is a bad thing.

"You two are pissing me off! I'm going to show you true art, un!" Deidara cried. He formed two clay birds and shot them off at the pair of ugly sluts.

"Katsu!" he yelled as he formed the ram seal and exploded the bombs. While the two emos burned, the pieces of the fan-girls floated back to earth.

"Hn."

"Thanks, un!"

Itachi gave Deidara a look.

"NOOOO!!!! I understand him! Danna, help! He's taking over my mind!"

"Shut up and get us back home. And take off the scope this time."

"Fine, spoilsport. Un."

They did eventually make it back to the base where everyone promptly held a pizza party and invited everyone in the Shinobi nations to celebrate the deaths of the four horrible people.

The End.