OwlCookies: omg so yknow those 100 edwin themes or 100 royai themes or watnot? Well im making this fanfic kinda like tht… only its not necessarily a pairing… 100 Riza Hawkeye and Selim Bradley(Pride) Taunting themes ^.^ no romance! Royai all the way!

And I don't kno if they already have themes like this already… but if they do… TOO BAD.

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Theme 1: Genetics

Riza Hawkeye was sitting at a table, sipping her tea gently as she eyed the young –not really- boy before her. He too, was sipping tea and eyeing her. Mrs. Bradley was looking back and forth, smiling warmly.

"Oh dear," she said. "We're almost out of tea. Please, darlings, stay here. I'll be back with some more." Quickly, Mrs. Bradley got up and scurried away with the empty kettle of tea.

When the Fuhrer's wife was completely out of earshot, Selim spoke up.

"As I was saying," he began in his metallic-like voice. "I'll seriously kill you if you tell your precious Colonel about me."

Riza put her tea cup down. "He's not stupid." She cocked her head a bit. "Not completely stupid, I mean. But back to the point, he will learn the truth about you." Riza took a second to sip the remainder of her tea. "So, how old are you?" she asked, changing the subject.

"That doesn't concern y-" He was interrupted.

Mrs. Bradley came scurrying back with a steaming kettle. She grinned as she saw the fake smiles on Riza and Selim's faces.

"What were you talking about?" she asked, trying to join in on the conversation.

"I was wondering how old your son was," Riza replied honestly.

When Mrs. Bradley wasn't looking, Selim shot her a look. He kneeled on his chair and reached for the tea kettle. With the aid of his shadows, he quickly tipped the tea kettle onto the floor. He gasped in horror.

"Oopsie!" he exclaimed.

Mrs. Bradley smiled as Selim attempted to wipe the dripping tea. "No, no, Selim. Don't worry about it. I'll get someone to clean it up."

When she had left the room, Selim used his shadows to lock the door. "Foolish woman," he scowled.

"Really," Riza said. "How old are you?"

Selim rolled his eyes. "Over 400. That's all I'm going to tell you."

Riza chuckled mischievously. Oh how she enjoyed her thought. "You're so old… yet… so short," she taunted. "You're hundreds of years older than Edward and I and yet… you're so much shorter. Is it in your genes? Is being old and short in your genes? And if I recall correctly, aren't you the oldest homunculus? Aren't Envy, Lust, and Gluttony taller than you?"

"What?" Selim hissed. "My height and age doesn't matter. I am Pride."

"Well I must have hurt you when I called you short. You don't like that do you? Here, stand up Pride."

Even when Selim didn't stand up, Riza pulled him out of his chair and made him stand up. "See? You're a third of my size. Look how short you are. And you're so old. What's this?" She mockingly pulled up a tuft of his hair. "Do I see gray hair?"

Selim slapped her hand away. "Don't touch me!"

"So now you're a germaphobe?" Riza taunted. "Is that also in your genes?"

"We weren't made through genetics!" Selim scowled.

Riza tapped her chin. "Ah, yes. That's right. Of course it isn't in your genes. No one else in your family is so short."

"GAAHHH!" Selim shouted in irritation.

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OwlCookies: it probably isn't tht funny :P becuz this is humor and somewat crack, expect oocness…