You have to mean it.
I've never in my life performed a killing curse before. I've seen too much death in my lifetime to ever want to be the cause of it.
But she threatened my children... they all have.
Fred was gone... and now Harry. How much more could a mother take?
You have to mean it.
I had never been in a fight like this before. During the first war I was too busy protecting my babies while my brothers went out and did the fighting.
They took my brothers from me.
Had she been there too? Had she laughed that same wicked laugh when Dolohov finally finished them? Had she laughed as Fabian died slowly while Gideon died quickly, shielding his twin in vain from the final curse?
You have to mean it.
The night my brothers died I left the safety of the Burrow. Something inside of me had snapped.
I wanted them to find me.
I wanted them to dare and duel me.
They would underestimate me.
Everyone did.
But before I could get far enough Arthur found me. It was the first time I had ever seen true terror etched in his face. He screamed at me, asking if I was insane... asking if I had a death-wish. He didn't understand... and I felt too guilty for scaring him to explain.
It would be almost twenty years before I would scare him again like that.
You have to mean it.
I hadn't realized my baby was dueling at first. I had told her to stay hidden away in the castle.
I should have known better. Her grief for Harry had driven her into the center of the fight. It was like watching myself wanting to avenge my brothers all over again.
Except Ginny didn't love Harry like a brother. And knowing exactly what she was fighting for scared me even more.
My Ginny, Hermione, and the Lovegood girl fought Bellatrix together – perhaps hoping their combine efforts would overpower her. Yet the look on the Death Eater's face was not one of concentration.
She was playing.
It was like watching an animal play with its food before it swallowed it whole. I had known she was crazy... but watching her duel with those three as if it were all a game was too much for me.
You have to mean it.
Curses flew everywhere, but the only one I could focus on was the only one that mattered.
She had almost killed my baby.
The jet of green light came so close to Ginny that for a moment I thought she had been hit.
For a split second time stood still and my heart stopped beating.
And then something inside of my chest bubbled and burst.
You have to mean it.
"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"
The words flew out of my mouth before I could even think of what I had said... before I could think of what I was doing.
I tore through the crowd without a moment's hesitation. It wouldn't have been surprising if Arthur was in my wake, trying to claw after me – trying to stop me from doing it again.
But I could see nothing except Bellatrix in my rage. No one else mattered at that moment.
I hadn't been surprised when she laughed. I was a middle-aged, frumpy housewife going up against one of You-Know-Who's most loyal and bloodthirsty Death Eaters. I was almost surprised I didn't hear others echo in her laughter.
You have to mean it.
"OUT OF MY WAY!"
The three girls cowered at my rage and immediately moved as I began to duel. For a moment I caught a look of pure terror on the faces of both Ginny and Hermione. I knew what they were thinking.
You don't stand a chance.
Some other students tried to move forward to help me, but I screamed at them to leave us. They had taken Fred... they had taken Harry. But so help me they would never hurt those I loved ever again.
I was mildly aware of the large circle forming. Only two fights now waged on: You-Know-Who against three and Bellatrix against myself.
You have to mean it.
The floor was hot and cracking at the ferocity of our curses. Bellatrix was no longer playing a game as she had with the girls. She was no longer underestimating me like so many others had through the course of my life.
We were both out for the kill.
"What will happen to your children when I've killed you?" She was taunting me now. "When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?"
Perhaps she thought mentioning my Fred would cause me to falter. Perhaps she thought taunting me with my loved ones would cause me to break.
She should have known better.
"You-will-never-touch-our-children-again!"
You have to mean it.
I was almost as shocked as she was when it hit her in a flash of green.
Her face was twisted in an odd looking grin at first, and then it slackened as if she knew it was over.
As she crumpled to the ground I knew I finally had my revenge. My brothers, my children, Harry...
I could think of nothing else even as I watched You-Know-Who turn his wand on me.
You have to mean it.
I don't remember saying it.
But I know I meant it.