A/N: … I should stop making random chaptered fics on a small impulse… anyway I will pay more attention to Ghostwriter. This one is just something that just wouldn't leave my head no matter what I did. Anyway, it's light and so I will not be spending much time on this. Rather, just go with the flow of my crazy imagination and fingers. Enjoy!

This is slightly based on Full House which I wrote. But there are changes so rather than change to oneshot, I just started a different one.

Rated T for language.

Pairings: Uh… nothing for now, it's pretty much anyone x everyone as of now.

Summary: All the nations decide to come crash at that nation's whose name no one would remember—what was his name, Canadia?—home because America had suggested it and had hijacked the joint. What can go wrong in a night of fun? …if it turns into a week.

Chapter 1: Kitchen Fight

Busy banging his head on a table, Canada did not pay any attention at all to the cluster of nations lounging around in his house, nor their arguments. Apparently they didn't even know who owned the house, and they wouldn't notice him anyway so he continued hitting his head, hoping he would go unconscious and not see what would happen.

Stupid America. That jerk had invaded his house and invited everyone in. And it wasn't even his house! Geez, though Canada looked like America, their houses were nothing alike!

Suddenly England strolled into the room chased by France.

"Get off already, bloody frog! Hell, I swear I'm going to rip out your entrails and stuff them down that dirty mouth of yours!" the Britain snarled while trying to shake off the other.

"Angleterre, you need to wash our your mouth, not mine, non? There is no way you can keep on saying such vulgar words and say you are a refined gentleman!" As an afterthought, he added, "I can teach you, mon cher. Instead of soap, I will use my beautiful mouth to cleanse you of your dirty language, oui!"

"Offer rejected." He turned around and kneed the other in the groin. Ignoring the grunt of pain, he turned around and noticed Canada standing there. Instantly his brow furrowed. "Bloody America, I thought you said you were getting refreshments, not bloody lazing around in you room!"

"Uh, I'm Can—" he replied until he was cut off.

"Get to work already, lazy git, I already have to deal with this frog!"

"—ada."

"Dammit America, don't you dare talk back to me! You were the one who bloody invited us here, now at least make our stay pleasant!"

"England, I'm not America!"

"Stop joking around and get to work already, or do I have to make you?" England had a menacing glare on his face.

Canada nervously gulped. "I-I'm CANADA!" He shouted.

Blankly, France and England stared. "Canadia? Never heard of that country before. Though I guess you don't look exactly like Alfred… are you his province? Oh wait, he has bloody states. Which one are you?"

"Oui. But Angleterre, there is not a state called Canadia."

"Sh-shut up frog! I don't study Alfred's damn states like a stalker!"

"I'm not a state… I'm—"

"Bloody frog, get your hand off me before I break it."

"—Canada, you know that country—"

"Angleterre, don't hurt your best friend!"

"—above America that's really cold—"

"Since when was I your friend, frog? Okay that's it, I'm breaking it on a count of three."

"—and we have a lot of maple syrup and pancakes, and the—"

"Oui, oui, you are much too violent. Better now, non?"

"—sport we always play is hockey—"

"Much. Now keep it that way." Suddenly something clicked in his brain, and England spun around to face Canada. "Wait… hockey, trees, cold, and that bear in the corner, you're CANADA?" he asked with a sudden realization.

"Meep! Uh, yes… I'm Canada, America's twin brother… you took care of me when France gave me to you?" he answered meekly.

The Frenchman gaped in shock. "Mon dieu! It's Mathieu! Why didn't you tell us? We thought you were Alfred, mon cher!"

"I did, eh. You guys thought I was Canadia…" he trailed off.

His former father figures both were embarrassed at their mistake, England openly blushing and looking away and France scratching his hair with a fake grin on his face. "Sorry, Canadia, it's just that… Al—America seems to be a lot more… noisy?" the Brit supplied.

"It's Canada, mon cher," France corrected.

Said nation sighed and resumed hitting his head when the two quarreling nations started to argue, leaving the room and slamming the door shut. He was about to just drop onto his bed to try to ignore all the noise outside, but then suddenly his door fell down, two very eager nations on top of it.

"Mattie!"

"Birdie!"

He turned his head and widened his eyes at the sight. Prussia and America were both on the floor after knocking down the door. They glared at each other and started to squabble. Canada felt like facepalming, but mustered enough self-control to only mentally do it.

"Damn it, evil albino—don't cheat to try to get to Mattie's room first!"

"Bullshit! I definitely got here first legitimately, stupid asshole."

"Now you're bullshitting! We got here at the same time, but you cheated!"

"Speak for yourself, damn American pig! Right Birdie!" The ex-nation turned over to Canada, who was now sweatdropping.

"Uh—I-I erm, who cheated?"

"He did!" Both nations (well, one wasn't anymore) pointed at each other with a glare. If he wasn't so stressed out, he would have laughed at the situation. Both were acting like kindergarteners blaming each other for breaking the teacher's favorite vase. In this case, the door.

"Shut up, egotistical bastard who just wants to kidnap Mattie!"

"Right back at you, lardass."

"Hypocrite who can't even stay a nation."

"At least I don't forget my brother's name, shithead!" the albino snapped. The room went silent, until America finally stormed out, almost tripping over the door. "Sheesh, your brother is such a dickhead, right Birdie?"

The Canadian was slightly confused, but he muttered, "You as well, Gilbert, you as well."

Prussia pouted. "Aw, but I'm awesome!"

"That you are, that you are. You're an arrogant and awesome prick. Let's go down before Alfred breaks my house," he offered, slightly happier that his German friend had come though uninvited.

He pumped his fist high in the air. "Awesome! The awesomest pair will now make its way downstairs!" He ran up ahead hollering, while Canada lifted a hand to his face with a loud smack, hiding a small smile at the ex-nation's antics.

Downstairs Canada was slightly glad that Japan and German had apparently gotten things into a semblance of order. While some nations were being creepy as usual, most were seated on either cushions, the sofa, chairs, or cardboard boxes used as impromptu chairs.

"Ve~ Doitsu, are we going to play a game? I love games!" The happy Italian asked.

"Uh… yes we are?" the German replied.

"Ahem. Attention nations, after America-san invited us to C-ca-ce—"

"It's Canada," said nation helpfully supplied.

"Yes, Canada-san's house, we have reached a consensus that we will be hosting a few organized games. And we have compiled a list between America-san, Doitsu-san, and I." The Asian nation pulled out a scroll from nowhere and opened it. There was a long list of Japanese that no one could understand, but assumed was Japan's list of activities. "And first on the list is… kitchen fight it seems. It was America's idea."

Someone muttered, "Figures."

Italy piped up, "Ve, but isn't that a food fight?"

"No Italia-san, you can use food but it will be a kitchen fight. You can use anything from the kitchen or relating to the kitchen as a weapon. No sharp objects please. Last person standing wins the round."

"Will there be prizes?" Norway asked while glaring at Denmark.

"Mmm, yes, there will be. I think… the first prize is to dare anyone you like to make out with anyone else. Including yourself if you have a secret crush…"

"HOLY SHIT! THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY I'M MAKING OUT WITH ANY BASTARD!" Romano screamed while trying to escape Spain's hugs.

"Fratello, if the winner doesn't make you do it then you don't have to, ve."

"Uh, dang Kiku. That was first? Well, we know for sure we can't let Hungary or France win. Or Russia. That creepy commie bastard," America remarked.

Despite how he said it as an insult, the room suddenly became quite as everyone glanced around at the three aforementioned people. Hungary looked like she was on the verge or either pulling out her frying pan or her camera, France's hand were twitched with a sinister grin on his face, and Russia was being even more creepy than usual. Despite the American's inability to read the atmosphere, everyone knew he hit the nail on the head.

Uncomfortable with the silence and threatening aura, Japan coughed a bit and spoke up again. "And, now, everyone please get something and show it to Doitsu-san or I. If we accept it, please stand by. If you do not wish to participate or the item you wish to use is deemed unacceptable, then stay to the sidelines."

There was utter chaos as nations either got their own items from handy knapsacks or raided the Canadian's kitchen. Japan and Germany were crowded with screaming people waving around random objects.

Japan was very busy. "Let's see, Belgium-san? That's a ladle, right? Okay, please wait. No Switzerland-san, no guns, gomenasai. You don't want to participate without a gun? Well then you can take Liechtenstein and wait nearby. Greece-san, I don't think cats are food. Austria-san, that's a piano key, has nothing to do with a kitchen… oh, Hungary-san?" The two nations had a whispered conversation, and the Asian's face burned red as the girl smiled. "Uh, your weapon is a frying pan, right? Please stand by."

Meanwhile, Germany had it worse. He had managed to get the psychopaths to flock to him. "Uh… Russia… how is a pipe kitchen-related?"

"I got it from Matvey's kitchen sink, da?"

"Mmm, pass? Er, Italy, is that a pot you're holding? For pasta? You're supposed to hit people with it… and Canadia? Oh, sorry. Canada, you're using a spatula? Okay. And, Romano, what are you…"

"Tomato bastard and I are using rotten tomatoes," he stated.

"Okaaay… France is going to use… no touching people France! You cannot participate! Er, China, I think your wok is good but don't kill anyone with it. And Be-belarus? No, no, we already said you can't use sharp objects! No you can't use Russia as a weapon! Please! Offer something reasonable!" The normally strong nation wanted to hide in a closet and never come out. These nations were driving him crazy.

Finally, after a long grueling fifteen minutes, everyone had gotten a suitable weapon, and the people standing by were Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria, Greece, Iceland, and Norway. Belarus wasn't really standing, she had to be restricted to stop her from killing anyone. Japan and Germany were watching from the sidelines as well, keeping a close eye on the battlefield which was the kitchen.

It was chaos. Hungary and China were wiping out the rest of the competitors, but Romano mass throwing nasty rotten tomatoes trying to preserve his chastity was also someone not to mess with. Soon there was a standoff between Hungary and China. Romano had long escaped, but hid behind a corner to help the Chinese man if needed, since there was no way he'd let Hungary win.

All three of them needed to make sure they were the last ones standing to prevent sneak attacks. As they were all in a standstill, they tried to remember who had been knocked out. China felt something nagging at him. There was someone he had forgotten to attack, because Hungary had distracted him before he could hit said nation.

And to all of their surprise, that very nation who he forgot about popped out. "Hm, I wonder what's going on here, well, at least my scones have been finished." They gaped in shock as Romano fell from his hiding place and onto the floor. Carefully pulling a tray of… burnt stuff, England cheerily asked them, "Would anyone like to try my scones? I think they're made better than usual today. Canada has a very nice kitchen."

The cookbook he held in one hand was either upside down or in some strange language Romano did not know. He swore that was a magic circle on the cover and not a picture of a cookie. There were two conclusions he came to: one- England had burnt those… scones… with his magic and honestly wanted to feed them, or two- he snuck that magic book in, pretending it was a cookbook.

Nervously he gulped, and his Italian survival skills kicked in. Pulling something very Veneziano-like, he started to babble. "Chigi! I'm sorry I stole your tea set and broke them over Spain's head! I swear it was an accident! The bastard was being annoying! Oh, and I'm also sorry about the water balloons last week! It wasn't America! It was me! Don't kill me!" He dashed out of the kitchen waving a white flag and holding his nose.

Utterly confused, England did not catch a word of South Italy's apologies. However, at this point China had made his escape as well, and Hungary was eyeing the food warily. Did she dare try it? For the sake of yaoi… At this point the open window blew a whiff of the smell over to her nose, and she felt like gagging. Running out of the room she had to hold her mouth to stop from vomiting.

The very bemused Englishman stood in the kitchen in shock while Japan carefully entered the room with a surgical mask. "Igirisu-san, please throw your weapon away in the trash now, and come out to claim you prize."

"What, these scones? These were by no means my weapon, they were meant as a—"

"Just do it, please Arthur-san?"

He rarely called nations by their human names, so England unwillingly trashed the food. Sighing in relief, the Asian took off the mask and pulled the other out.

"And now for your prize, who you do want to kiss whom?" he asked, scanning the room full of people.

About half of the people were shooting glares, such as Romano and Switzerland. A couple others seemed terrified, while a select few were laughing about it. Namely the Bad Touch Trio. Even Alfred looked uneasy.

Deciding that selecting someone already a couple would be the easiest and wisest course for him to take, he cleared his throat and announced, "Hungary and Austria? You two are married, right?"

Prussia, Austria, and Hungary all gagged at the same time.

"Fuck off, England!"

"I'm not doing it."

"WHAT?"

"Okay, so there's something bitter going on here… right?" he dumbly asked. None of them answered. Oh well. Time for the next best then, the obvious but unofficial couples, right? He would have just paired off the BTT but if he let Spain kiss anyone, Romano would kill him. He did not feel cruel enough to let anyone suffer by France's hands, and Prussia was out of the question. Unless it was Austria or Germany, but then that would be probably the only peeple Prussia wouldn't be willing to make out with. ("Dude, incest is gross, man!")

"Er, Germany and Italy?" Most of the other nations let out a sigh of relief. However, a few were acting up.

Hungary squealed and started whispering things to Japan. Who in turn pulled out a camera. Romano was shouting something while Spain was trying to hold him still. As for the couple themselves…

"Veeeeeee? I have to kiss Doitsu?"

"MEIN GOTT ENGLAND!"

"Ah, Doitsu-san, but it was in the rules…"

"Ve~ okay!" Before anyone could blink the Italian and given a light peck on Germany's lips and had jumped back before anyone could take a picture. "Ve~ that wasn't so hard, right Doitsu?"

"Noooo! Italy, do it again! And longer!" Hungary was crying in disappointment. However, the German had stomped off and locked himself in Canada's closet, which unluckily for him held most of his maple syrup and brooms, which he would most likely need by the end of the day.

"Waaah! Is Doitsu mad at me?" Italy had started crying. Which in turn made Romano even more mad, and soon he had escaped Spain and was banging on the closet door and screaming obscenities in Italian.

England facepalmed. "What have I done?" he muttered to himself. Unknown to him, Canada had facepalmed the exact moment he did.

This was going to be a long week.

A/N: Head-canon is that nations call each other by human name if they are close... i.e. Prussia and America calling Canada Matthew. And the little stunt Japan played on England.

And, crappy ending much. XD It's late is once again my excuse, but brain cells do not work well at this time. Enjoy! Reviews bring cookies and happiness and new chapters!