Vanya blinked up at the ceiling.
She rolled over and looked around the room. The blinked again.
Vanya screamed.
After she'd registered that she was back in her room from seventeen years ago, she tried to figure out how she got there again.
The last thing Vanya remembered was going to the concert. Playing with all of her heart and seeing Allison there. Smiling at her from the crowd. The building pressure sitting at the back of her head. Vanya pitched forward and clutched her head.
They were here! They were here to ruin everything for her! She'd made something her own for once and they were here to ruin it for her again!
Armored men shooting at her family- No please don't hurt them!- The lady from before was here too- Go away!
They deserve it! Why can't you accept that? They've done nothing to help or protect you! Only tried to ruin everything of yours!
Vanya twirled her bow and played harder- Five is here! Save them!- Vanya turned her uncaring eyes away.
You shouldn't be happy! He's just like them! He left you to the others, so focused on himself to bother thinking about what he was doing, abandoning you!
They were running at her now- Where is Allison? Is she hurt? NOnonOnoNOT because of her!- Vanya lifted the bow and slashed it out. Her brothers flew back until they were caught by a stream of light leading back to her chest.
It's what they deserve, Vanya. They made you into this, it's better this way. Gods don't need weaklings.
Allison was behind her, she resisted the intense urge to turn around- I'll never hurt Allison again!-
The Crescendo ripped itself from her body.
Then numbness.
Vanya saw the moon shatter.
She heard her siblings trying to find a way out of this.
She felt Luther pick her up.
Then-
Then she was back in her room from seventeen years ago. She was once again a thirteen year old. And she'd caused the Apocalypse twice.
Vanya collapsed onto her bed and cried herself to sleep.
"Sweetie, are you alright? You didn't come down for dinner?" Mom open the door.
Vanya didn't turn her gaze away from the ceiling. She didn't want to taint Mom. Mom may have been programmed, but she was the only one to provide constant affection and care. Mom didn't deserve to have a daughter that fucked up so horribly.
Who wants a daughter that destroyed the world twice?
"Sweetie? You have to eat, are you not feeling well?" Mom sat on her bed and brushed her bangs away from her face. Vanya did her best not to flinch away from her hand. Mom gauged her temperature.
"It seems you're fine? Please tell me what's wrong, Vanya. You can tell me." Vanya shifted her focus to mom. Vanya opened her mouth, ready to tell her what was wrong. Her mouth snapped shut and Vanya blinked in surprise.
Vanya couldn't tell mom, she would just tell father. She shook her head and turned back to the ceiling.
"That's okay sweetie, tell me when you're ready. Get up, let's go fix you some of your favorite food." Mom nudged her into a sitting position, grabbing her hand. Mom dragged her down to the kitchen and sat her at the table.
Vanya stared at her clasped hands, and waited. Waited for one of her siblings to some running down the stairs and try to kill her. Waited for father to appear out of nowhere and accuse her of being the worst mistake he'd ever met. Waited for mom to turn against her.
But none of that happened. Only a plate of waffles was slid in from to her.
Vanya smiled weakly at mom and slowly began to eat. She held back her grimace at the taste of ash. After all it was just her imagination.
After finishing her waffles, Vanya stumbled back up to her room. She was glad that father had a mandatory bedtime. She didn't know what'd she do if she ran into one of her siblings.
Vanya shook her head. She stumbled over something nearly fell over before catching herself on the doorknob.
Vanya looked down and saw her violin case. The whole world screeched to a stop.
Her lightning rod. The tool used to end the world and slash Allison's throat open. Was it white? Or a bloody red. She didn't mean to! Someone please help her! Her sister was bleeding out- dying!
The violin case rocketed across the room an slammed against the wall. Vanya didn't know whether she kicked it or her powers did, she didn't care.
Vanya huddled herself in the furthest corner from the case and settled in for the night.
Vanya woke up with a sore neck and an aching back.
She stood up and followed the routine engraved into her mind. Make her bed. Change into her uniform. Brush her hair. Brush her teeth. Practice her violin.
She paused before the last one. It would seem weird to the others if she didn't. It was the only thing the others knew she was passionate about. So to not hear her violin playing in the morning would be a sign that something is wrong. But Vanya didn't want to touch that violin, at all. It may not be the one she used to destroy the world with, but it was the one that she'd used for years. Vanya shook her head and walked downstairs to the kitchen.
Vanya paused when she saw Pogo, father, mom, and Ben in the room. She'd killed two of them. Two people had died because she couldn't control her temper. Mom trapped under the rubble, and Pogo speared on the antlers in the library. Would it be better if she left? To not risk a repeat of what happened last time?
She glanced rapidly between the two. She should run away, try her lu-
"Sweetie, are you still not feeling well?" Mom broke through her panic. Vanya shook her head and ran to her seat at the head of the table. Vanya stared resolutely at her plate. This way she wouldn't have to see angry and disappointed eyes. Father always though the was a disappointment.
She ignored the others streaming in, all of them seemed to do the same. She wondered if they remembered like her? They probably didn't. They hadn't tried to attack her yet.
They all ate their breakfast, the others went off with father. Vanya disappeared into the library, looking for books on music theory.
Vanya had found quite a few books on music theory, all ones she'd read before. But this time she was looking for anything that could help focus or explain her powers. She towed the books into the kitchen and plopped them onto the table.
She grabbed the top one and started combing through it. She read for hours on end, only coming out of her focus when mom put a plate of sandwiches in front of her. Even then, she only paused long enough to pick up a sandwich and continue reading.
'... certain sounds can evoke feelings or emotions... some can slow down electrical patterns in the brain... relaxing feeling...'
Vanya frowned and took another bite of her sandwich. This was something she knew already. But it had potential.
She knew that the emotion she was feeling when she manipulated sound was important. But could the opposite be true? Could she make someone feel love, joy, or sadness? Vanya felt her hand twitch, itching to write down her theories. She clamped down on that urge, she didn't want father to find out what she was doing.
Vanya was brought out of her thoughts once again when mom handed her her pills. She took them automatically, but hesitated. Did she want to go back the apathetic loop she lived in before? No. No, it was what made the release of her emotions so much more catastrophic.
Vanya hid the pills under her tongue and waited a few minutes before excusing herself to the bathroom. She cringed at their half-melted state.
Vanya took the books to her room and spent the rest of the day in lessons with her tutor.
Vanya continued her routine for the next few days. Until father stopped her after breakfast.
"Number Seven. Stay behind, the rest of you continue to training room three. I will be with you shortly." Vanya clutched her hands and waited stiffly by her seat. The others all glanced at her in curiosity, but did as father said.
Vanya felt her body stiffen with every passing second. Father read his newspaper a few moments longer.
"Number Seven, I have noticed that you have not been playing your violin lately, nor have you been speaking. Why?" Sweat broke out on her forehead. She'd hoped he wouldn't notice, at least not so soon. But she knew it was inevitable.
Father followed her progress with the violin closely. So, Vanya did the the worst possible thing she could've done, she shrugged. Father's eye narrowed a minuscule amount, and Vanya was filled with fear. Father never really showed emotions on his face, always his voice.
"Number Seven, answer me." Anger seeped into his voice and Vanya wanted to shout out every secret she held. To tell him that she'd almost killed Allison. That she'd stopped taking those horrid pills. About the Apocalypse. Instead she shrunk in on herself even further. She'd tried to speak, but every time she tried, there seemed to be a block stopping her. Even with Five. She just couldn't speak. Maybe she was afraid of what she would say.
Vanya opened and closed her mouth several times and hunched in on herself.
"Fine. Go and retrieve your violin, and bring it here, Number Seven." Her eyes widened in shock. She ran up the stairs to do as he demanded. She hesitated a few seconds, afraid to touch the violin. But closed her eyes and grabbed it. If she couldn't see it, she could trick herself into believing it was a book.
That worked for all of two seconds, the handle of the case grew warmer. It was like the violin knew she was holding it. She resisted the urge to throw it away from herself.
The trip downstairs was even quicker than the one upstairs. The quickly warming violin case scared her. Father had an expectant look on his face.
"Hand it over Number Seven." Vanya all but threw it at him with how fast she let go. Father narrowed his eyes even more.
"Now, Number Seven. I will hold onto this until you regain your voice and lose your insolence." Vanya was torn between relief and anger. He was holding one of her personal possessions against her. But he was taking that tool from her. The lightning rod of the Apocalypse. If he kept it, would the Apocalypse happen? Hope blossomed in her.
"Study in the library, Number Seven." Reality dragged her back down. Vanya nodded, and walked to the library.
A/N: vanya is an unreliable narrator btw. who do you think is going to remember next? everyone present during episode seven /will/ regain their memories, it will just take time.