Yet another brilliant, pure genuis, unabridged imagination running wild, yet incredibly, outrageously, ridiculously silly scheme had been falling apart at the seams. Well, maybe grandeur terms were a bit over the top, but yet again, that was the biggest scheme Dr. Drakken had yet dared to envision.
- Give it up, Shego!
- I wouldn`t count on it, Pumpkin... Eat plasma!
- Hah! Missed by a mile!
Blue man snapped out of his reverie at the shrieks of catfight. Time to act, he thought to himself... Or, at second thought, maybe it was a good time to arrange getaway means. He could not spot that annoying sidekick, nor equally annoying sidekick`s pet, which meant that something was about to go cardinally wrong. Sick and wrong, even.
Shaking his head, Drakken slammed his fist on the computer console. One minute and thirty six seconds until infusion chamber would be ready. Only ninety six moments. Approximately one hundred and fourty four heartbeats. Twelve squared. Twelve, heh, the twelve hours of a day. It could`ve as well been a day, Drakken thought. This plan had gone to smithereens. Almost half a million of dollars in bribes and technology down the drain. His eyes darted furtively towards infusion chamber. If he had any chance, he`d risk the odds and step in. Unfortunately, both all his mad scientist experience and primal gut feeling told him loud and clear one simple thing - "Do not even think about it, Drew." Casting one last glance on the setup, Drakken sucked his molar and turned around towards the door outside. Hovercraft should be in standby mode, and...
- AWW! Getitoff, getitoff, GETITOFFFF! AAAAARGH!
From the rafters, Ron shook his head, as he watched Dr. Drakken pontificating below. Blue man running around like headless chicken with naked mole rat on his face was a sight amusing enough to even distract Ron from his own predicament. Namely, his pants. At time, teen could`ve sworn that he is haunted by evil depanting spirit. This time, spirit had outdone itself, though. Regular depanting wouldn`t be so bad, but being suspended from rafters only by one pantleg and boot made Ron pretty nervous. He attempted to swing up and down to gain some momentum and maybe grab onto something, but regretted his decision. With vengeance, even. It was hard not to, because first thing he managed to do - rip his bootlace. Too bad that it was the same bootlace that held the boot anchoring his leg in pants. Within exactly thirty seven milliseconds Ron, boot and pants parted company.
- ...Thanks for the catch, KP!
- Uh, Ron, I`m over here.
- Then, who exactly cau...Au..Au... AUUUUUUUUGHH! WHGHAAAHAH! GAAAAAAAH! ...Sob.
- ...Hello... RON. Is there any chance you`ll get off my belly BEFORE I`ll burn second handprint on your arse?
Shego was PISSED now. Breaking into sealed government laboratory had been annoying enough on it`s own at this particular day of lunar cycle. Let alone listening to yet another hairbrained Drakken`s scheme, helping him haul the equipment and dealing with Kim`s smug remarks. But THIS, this had been the last feather to break camel`s back. Bored? She could take that. Tired? That too. Annoyed? That happened more often then she cared to count. But having air and blood knocked out of her from opposite ends of body by flying heart-embroidered boxers? While with Buffoon INSIDE THEM! In a brief lapse of imagination she thought that that`s what being a nuclear meltdown feels like, before she let out her aggravation on hero team in a flurry of punches, kicks, plasma and gratuitious profanity.
Rufus briefly considered causing facial harm to his oversized opponent, but quickly decided against it. No sense tempting rabies or cheeze knows what else by biting on that mad scientist, there`s no way to know just where this face was before just a few minutes ago. With that rationalisation, Rufus had opted for simply hanging on madly to Drakken`s ears and hope not to fall off under his feet. Actually, naked mole rat noted with a measure of curiosity, Drakken could manage fairly mean tap dance, provided someone with sense of rhythm gave him a little guidance by tugging his ears. Sadly for Rufus, this entertaining discovery had to be abandoned, given the harsh reality of Ron`s pants about to make a landing on Drakken`s head.
- Jeronimo!
Crack. That didn`t felt like rat-thingy kind of crack, so Drakken had dared to open his eyes finally. It was still dark, but it was textile kind of dark, not naked mole rat kind of dark. It was also hardwood behind textile kind of dark.
- Ow. That smarts.
Gingerly plucking pants off his head, Drakken extended his index finger, and twice as gingerly touched the growing bump on his forehead, pushing the hardwood door open with free hand.
- Ow. Sheegoo! Time to leave.
Kim Possible considered her career and relatively short but surprisingly eventful life, and came to startling conclusion, that she was facing possibly the most ferocious martial assault at this current moment. Of course, most likely it had something to do with defending hapless Ron from Shego`s wrath, right now. Given that Ron was still more then a little preoccupied with the sorry state of his singed rear, Kim had to depend on her capabilities to keep Shego from singing off his head as well. Not that she really blamed her for being pissed at Ron at this particular moment, mind, but still she had to preserve what tentative connection her sidekick had with his brain containment vessel.
She momentarily considered using knockout gas capsule on Shego, but she had used one previous time as well, and showing any kind of pattern proved to be mondo bad idea, when it concerned fighting Shego. Giving momentary consideration to several of the other available options, she had settled on plan most likely to succeed, if she had read the level of Shego`s anger just right. Faking a low kick, which Shego had anticipated, she attempted to punch Shego in head - an effort just as easily anticipated and thwarted with preliminary high kick to the head. Having anticipated this move, Kim backflipped over the Ron to keep away from Shego`s foot - yet another routinely expected martial stunt.
Shego snarled at the invitation to leave. Oh she would, she definitely would, but first, she had planned on some intense fat-burning experience for a certain pantless Stoppable. Cramp in her stomach had really disagreed with over hundred and fifty pounds of alive meat suddenly compressing it, and when her cramps disagreed with her, Shego saw red. She had left her guard seemingly open on the low, expecting Kim to fake a kick. Just as she anticipated, fake had came, followed by high punches which she preemptied with a high kick, which made Possible flip back over Stoppable to keep her chin intact. Just as she anticipated. Shego had lunged forward, seemingly over the Ron, to catch up on Kim.
Redhead rolled low from her backflip, doing her best to stop close to Ron. Per her expectation, Shego had lunged after her. Or, more precisely, faked lunging after her, aiming for Ron instead. As Kim planned. It was slightly mean to Ron, to use him as a bait like this, but then again, he should`ve known better then to sit on Shego, right? Still, what she was about to do felt a bit mean. Oh well. She`ll apologise later. Surely Ron would be in a very apology-accepting mood having been saved from Shego, now wouldn`t he? With that little bit of rationalisation, Kim rammed both of her feet into Ron`s bum, sending him sliding under Shego, and ultimately way behind her back.
- OW!
Shego growled in frustration. Kim knew her as well as she knew redhead, it seemed. In the split moment, green woman could do nothing but watch as buffoon slid under her in opposite direction. Then she had steeled herself for incoming collision with Kim Possible.
- Ghhh-OW!
- Sorry.
Kim felt even meaner now. Subtle feminine hints had given her a reason to suspect that Shego has a bodily cause to be even more irritable especially today, and she felt a bit down about planting her knee in Shego`s gut. But then again, that had sent Shego heads-first over her as well, and for that Kim was grateful. There was no telling WHAT would green female do to her if she landed on top of cheerleader like she was originally going to. BONGK!
Shego saw stars. Right, that was LOW. Especially so for goody-goody teen, she thought, as blackness in her eyes slowly gave way to metallic glint. A twofer - knee in gut and then head-first into metal panel. Which was now dented by collision. She had to give Kim five points for execution, she decided. It`s been a while since she`s been solidly slammed like that. Of course, that meant that her mood went from merely insanely angry into giddily homicidal, too, but Kimmie just had to roll with that, now. Noone asked her for kneeing in stomach, that much was sure.
Kim flipped over, ready to pounce Shego from behind, and in infinitelysmall chance of irish luck shining on her, managing to restrain green fighter somehow, when her eye spotted IT. Namely, the open door of the capsule she had flipped Shego in. Acting on a snap decision, she had yanked the metal slab down. It went surprisingly easy, soft murring of well-oiled hydraulic shafts suggesting that this bit of tech was from what Drakken and Shego brought in.
Drakken bit his lip. His gut shrieked at him - "RED ALERT, RED ALERT, DEFCON 1, TAKE OFF ALL ZIG FOR GREAT JUSTICE!" In short, he was ironclad, concrete-block sure that something bad was about to happen. Physically bad. Ballistically bad, even, he corrected the term, as he observed the graceful arc of boot bouncing from one rafter into another, against the light fixture, and right on the control panel, where a conveniently red button expected the heel eagerly.
- Upload sequence queued. ETA - fifty seconds!... Fourty nine... Fourty eight... WARNING! WARNING! Secondary coil power levels exceeding safe margin by twenty three percents! Initiating failsafe shunts into primary coil! WARNING! WARNING! Energy spike detected! Operation levels exceeded, initiating upload sequence!
Drakken signed in dejection. Normally, that announcement would make him jump in joy. Although in a part that would be due to the fact that his new russian suppliers were not lying about tantalic enrichment after all, he just loved the sound of experiment announcements. They made him feel giddy. However, he felt that giddyness would be unappropriate right now, given that this experiment was doomed to failure without... the... sub..ject?... Subject?... SUBJECT? Upload sequence would be aborted without subject... BUT! But, but, but... he was not in the camera. So who was in ... In... In...
Thump. Kim whipped around sharply at the sound of announcement. She had just enough time to process the information and see the boot solidly planted against the button with word "Start!" all over it to observe Drakken fainting flat on his back. Something wicked this way came, her own gut told her, and she whipped around again, just in time to see Shego slamming plasma-encased fist through the glass panel in front of capsule door. Stupefied, she flinched back, expecting the ball of plasma that never came. Sharp electric crack had snapped her out of shock, and she sprinted towards capsule. Hoping, that Wade did not made a mistake, she grabbed the bottom of the capsule door and gave it a hard yank, pulling open what she had just slammed close less then two and half seconds ago. It seemed that Wade made no mistake - despite the continued electric crackling, she felt absolutely no shock, which meant that her gloves indeed were insulated against even industrial-voltage electricity. But then again, it could be also that there was no voltage through the metal, already.
Ron gingerly felt his face. This mission did not agree with him. First, he lost pants, then he had been branded by Shego, and now he was expecting his eyes to fall out of sockets from the shock. He was pretty sure that unless it was a part of original plan, Shego had no intention or means to live through that shock. And it did not seem she did have either, given the classic "reach through window before getting dead" scene that just occured before him. When Kim yanked the capsule open, he turned away quickly. His stomach was already churning from the smell of his singed buttock and the fact he thought it smells yummy. He so did not need to see another pile of fried human meat.
Shego grabbed her head with both hands, and kept still for a few seconds, waiting for some kind of reassurance that all her body parts are still connected properly to each other. When she dared to test the connection, she found that nothing was severed, much to her satisfaction. Of course, she still tried not to think about everything that was supposed to fill up those body parts. She was fairly certain she had sneezed out her brain when her heart lodged itself in her throat.
Kim peeked into the capsule gingerly. And chuckled. Leave it to Drakken to fail when necessary, she thought merrily, as she examined dazed Shego. For all that mattered, she could not see any injuries on green woman, which was enough to lift her spirits. She was SO not looking to starting her bodycount list today.
- Shego?... Are you hurt?
- Pumpkin. Preliminary examination suggests I am not. Although I`d wait for doctor`s confirmation to be certain. Preferably doctor of non-blue kind.
- Bwuh?
- Oh. Right. Do you suppose we can call truce for today? I`m quite... Beside myself, so to speak.
- Guh.
- Really? You`re such a sweetheart, Princess.
Peck. Kim grabbed her head, and held on to it as tight as she could. She was not sure it did not disconnected from the smooch. The fact that Shego just all but flirted with her, talked her way out of being booked AND kissed her on the cheek made her head reel. She could feel her fragmented thoughts rumbling as they flipped and tumbled inside her suddenly emptied skull.
Ron rubbed his eyes. Right, that was sick and wrong. Actually no. Not sick and wrong. Sick and Wrong! He did not felt it was adequately strong enough without capital letters and exclamation point. WHAT was THAT about? What did Shego do, even, and since then did she have sexy ray attacks like that? And if it was not a sexy ray, then WHAT IN BLAZES did she do to Kim? And even more importantly, what could he do to get some of that? Rrrowl.
Shego slung still unconscious Drakken over her shoulder, and jumped into the hovercraft, shrugging blue lump into the seat next to her as she worked controls, small vehicle skipping away from the building. She swerved to the side and pushed down throttle a little, using the stretch of concrete road as a take-off ramp for a long jump over the fence and off into Nevada plains, tiny craft quickly fading in the horison. Sadly, the irony of driving away in UFO-like craft was wasted, only witness being old crooked sign "Area 51. Restricted Area."