"Hold on, one more day.
Say you're okay,
I'm afraid that tomorrow is just too far away,
Fight the pain.
It just feels like forever, is crashing down on me."
- Of Mice & Men
(A/N- I AM BACK. This has been a long-ass time since I've been on here, guess because I'm suffering a bit from Writer's Block a bit… Also, school's back and it sucks major ass. This one is really, really angsty and sorta depressing, but hey? It's me, what do you expect? I personally like this one, I really do. If you want, you guys can shoot me ideas for my next Emrey fic in the comments and shit. Thanks. Adios, my loves!)
The sky was dark, darker than usual, it reflected off the water and consumed her very soul. She walked out here a lot, especially whenever the visions were too enduring, and the pain was way too real. It was a virus, a unhealable virus that clouded over her eyes, making the tears stream like a broken waterfall. Despite the whole mass murder of it all, the fact it's where a bunch of murders of her friends happened, it had still that nostalgia feel of it all.
It's just felt like forever since she's been here.
"Audrey," a voice called.
Audrey sighed, already knowing who it was.
"Yeah?" she asked, turning around her to see her best friend.
"What're you doing here?" Emma asked.
"How did you find me?" she asked, avoiding the question.
"I thought you might be here," Emma lied, biting her lip and twisting a strand of her blonde hair.
She's always sucked at lying.
"Nice try, thanks for avoiding my question."
"Well, in my defense, you didn't answer mine," Emma challenged.
Audrey sighed and whispered, "I like to envision it how it used to be, before everything. Before I became the reason for our friends dying, before the whole world crashed, before Rachel, before Noah… When it was just me and you," Audrey took a breath before continuing, "when we used to swim out here before my mom died, before your dad became even more deranged than he was then, before… Before I fucked our friendship up. Before I became screwed up."
Emma sighed, understanding what she meant.
"Your turn, what made you come out here to find me?" Audrey asked.
"Gina told me it's where I could find you, she said… She told me what happened between you guys, and she said you love to walk here," Emma responded.
"She told you about the break up?"
Emma nodded.
Audrey sighed. "I couldn't do it, Em. Being with her didn't feel right. I didn't have those feelings for her, I still don't. I didn't feel complete."
"To be honest, I never liked Gina."
Audrey laughed, in spite of herself.
"Really? I thought you were her biggest fan," the sarcasm was invading her voice and it just felt.. safe. Almost how it used to be.
Almost.
"Audrey?"
"Yeah?"
"How often do you take these walks?"
She pondered about it for a short moment. "About four times a week. It makes me feel. I'm so tired of feeling cold and emotionless, it makes me feel pain. It makes me remember, it makes me feel the way I deserve to be felt."
Emma gave her a puzzled look.
"You don't deserve pain, Audrey."
"I deserve to feel something pretty fucking close to it," Audrey snapped.
"No- You know you don't deserve this. Not any of this, none of us do."
"Did," Audrey corrected, "you're discluding all the people I've killed."
"Audrey, you never killed anyone, you fucking know that."
Audrey stayed silent.
"Audrey, you're… You're good. You're not like anyone else," Emma said, touching Audrey's shoulder.
"Don't," Audrey warned, pulling away.
"Don't what?"
"Don't act like you care, don't act like you love me. Don't act like you wouldn't replay fucking ninth grade all over again."
"Seriously? This again?"
"Yes, Emma, this again."
"It always runs right back to this, doesn't it?" Emma retorts.
"I'm sorry, you know what? Forget it. Fuck it."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Emma asked, pushing Audrey to the brink of an explosion.
"I said, nevermind, I don't want to talk about it."
"Yes, you do, Audrey, fucking tell me what's wrong with you."
"No, just fuck off," Audrey said, turning to walk away.
Emma grabbed her by the arm. "Audrey, tell me," she begged.
"I loved you! You left me, okay? It killed me to see you with Will, with Brooke, with Nina, with everyone else, but me. I just missed you! You didn't even care about it. I spilled my heart to you and all I got was left in the dirt. The funniest part is, I still love you. I broke up with Gina, because it- it wasn't you. It has to be you, Emma Duval. It has to be you," Audrey said, her voice breaking.
Emma stared at her. Was she going to be the downfall of Audrey Jensen?
"See? This is it, that's what I mean! I knew I shouldn't have told you, just fucking forget it. Forget I just told you that," Audrey whispered, turning herself around on her heels and beginning to walk away.
"I loved you, too," Emma called to her, finding her voice.
Audrey stopped.
"What?"
"I loved you, too," Emma repeated, more defiant.
"You… You loved me?" Audrey asked, her voice shaking.
"I never stopped."
Audrey stared into Emma's eyes.
"Is this some fucked up joke?" Audrey asked, "or some sort of sympathetic gesture because you feel bad? Maybe both?"
"I left you because it was hard, okay? Seeing you. Everyday. The pain was like an atomic bomb, bursting inside of me every day. Your eyes were the fire that lit me up, the love was the explosion. I loved you so much, I still do, Audrey."
Audrey was shocked. So shocked.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"The same reason you never told me."
"I know, but I mean, at the farm- my confession… Why, now? Why not sooner?"
"Never had much of an opportunity, did I?"
Audrey rubbed the back of her neck. "I- I'm so sorry. I'm just gonna… I'm just gonna leave."
"No," Emma said, "please, stay. I need to tell you this."
Emma grabbed Audrey's hands and pointed to the sky.
"See those stars?"
Audrey nodded.
"Most people have to wish to get what they want, I don't have to wish for anything, I just look at you."
Audrey felt tears linger.
"It's okay, if you don't want me, anymore. It's okay if you want to try to move on with your life, but Audrey, I still love you, too."
With that Emma leaned up and kissed Audrey.
And, life's never felt more complete.