"I have a job offer in LA" her voice resounded in his head but he couldn't quite grasp what she was saying
"what? Why? Are you taking my daughter thousands of miles away?"
"I thought maybe you could come too"
"what?" the first thing that came into his head was Amanda, how could he leave her.
"My life is here Maria"
"what is keeping you here?, we're your family"
He looks down at the pavement not fully comprehending the situation.
"I will fight for her!"
"don't you dare!"
"Amanda, she's keeping you here isn't she?"
He looks away.
"I have to get back to work"
"don't test me Nick"
He looks back at her as he walks away
"She's trying to take my daughter away!" Nick is pacing back and forth in his kitchen
"Babe" says Amanda as she holds on to his face "it's going to be okay"
"how can she do this?!"
She embraces him tight.
"shhhh…..it's going to be okay"
He breaks down in her arms, the only woman he could do this front and wouldn't judge him.
She knew he was having a hard time. The brave and powerful Nick Amaro was breaking down in her arms and she felt helpless.
Nick tears away from her rushes out of his apartment, she tries to stop him but she can't she just stands at his doorway and places her head against the cold brick wall and watches him leave.
Nick is walking near a children's school when he notices the perv that just got acquitted taking pictures of children. Nick looses all control, everything that's been weighing on him comes out and he begins to beat the life out of him.
Amanda's phone rings she's laying on Nick's bed, the bed she's been sharing with him for the past 4 months.
"hello"
"Amanda it's Olivia"
"what's up?"
"you need to get down here, Nick's been arrested"
Amanda feels like she can't breathe
"I'll be right there"
She locks the apartment with the extra keys Nick had given her and leaves.
Amanda walks into the squad room. She looks tired and worried. She sees the group sitting at a table and she joins them. She sits at an empty chair and quietly asks "what happened?"
Declan answers her "he lost control, he is being charged with attempted murder"
Amanda's world collapses, she can't breathe, can't think, all she does is put her head in her hands. She excuses herself to the restroom as she feels her eyes fill with tears.
Olivia, Murphy and Fin look at her with a questioning look but she disregards it.
She reaches the bathroom just in time and falls to the floor. She felt helpless, no one knew, who could she turn too, who could understand what she was going through. She felt powerless. She wipes the tears with the sleeves of her coat and puts on a brave face.
She thought about his smile, she thought about the good times, she thought how at this point nobody knew her like Nick knew her and he was okay with it, he accepted her the way she was and she accepted him with all his temper and overprotection. They had found comfort in each other in their darkest days, beginning with lust and ending in love.
"I should of tried harder to stop him" she whispers to herself. She begins to blame herself.
She walks back to her seat. "what's the plan?"
"First of all Barba has agreed to represent him, even though it's not his field"
"I need to see him" she says looking at her partner Fin for a look of understanding
Which he does, he nods "I'll go with you"
She quietly begins to walk out the door with her partner behind her.
Fin begins to understand what really is going on "it's going to be okay partner" he says kindly.
On the drive to where Nick is being held. Amanda gazes out the window covering her eyes with her hand pretending the sun is bothering her but really she wants to hide the tears that slowly but surely will drop from her eyes.
"how long?" she hears Fin's faint voice
She looks over to him but there's no use in pretending she doesn't know what he's asking her.
She smiles as she wipes her eyes. Her face is red from all the mistreatment it's getting.
"four months"
"four months and his already got you crying for him, I'm going to kick his ass when he gets out of there"
This makes her chuckle in between the tears.
They arrive at the jail.
They are escorted to his jail cell and they let her in first. Nick doesn't realize Fin is coming closely behind.
"Amanda" he grabs her face and kisses it "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"
He looks up and see's Fin fidgeting nervously.
"It's okay" Amanda says quietly "he knows"
Nick falls down onto the bench in his cell. Amanda sits next to him and turns her head towards him, her wavy blonde hair falling sideways covering her face and grabs his hand which is sitting on top of his thigh "why? Nick, why?"
"I lost it Amanda, I couldn't stop myself"
"what now Nick, what about Zara?, what about your son?...what about me?" she whispers
He places his hand on her cheek "you three mean more than anything to me"
Fin interrupts as he notices Olivia and Murphy coming down the hallway.
"uhum" he clears his throat. Amanda and Nick look up and realize who's coming. Amanda quickly lets go of Nick's hand but not quick enough. Olivia notices as she is being let in.
Fin speaks "Like I said man, Barba is taking your case, we're gonna figure something out"
"This is bad Nick, real bad" adds Olivia
"Visiting hour is over" yells a voice
"Alright Amaro" says Declan "we're working overtime on this so hang in there"
Nick nods
All of them start walking out. Amanda falls behind purposely.
As she begins to walk out he grabs her hand not wanting to let go. She looks back at him and smiles. She is escorted out and he is left there alone with his thoughts.
He begins to remember how everything with Amanda started.
Flashback
End of Gambler's Fallacy.
Amanda walked out the precinct.
"Hey hold up" she heard a voice it was Nick
"hey what's up?"
"you walking home?"
"I'm going to take the train, unless I have a special friend who has car" she flashed a flirty smile
He laughed "come on Rollins I'll take you"
They were in his car. The radio is was on.
"what is this your listening too?" she laughed
"what you got something better?" he chuckled
She started fiddling with the buttons until she found a song she liked. Her whole face perked up and she said "I love this song"
Nick laughed as she began to wave her arms and sing aloud "I'm just a girl!, lucky me! Hahaha"
"you like No Doubt" he said
"Love it!"
"look in the back I have a cd case, check what's in it"
She leaned over to the back and grabbed it, she looked through it. She stopped and giggled "No Doubt!"
"Don't tell nobody about that"
"your secret's safe with me" she smiled
Nick was suddenly hit with the realization that he loved the way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she looked at him. He had always been physically attracted to her, she was a beautiful woman but tonight it was different, she was different, they were different.
"you hungry?" he said
"starving"
"you up for Pizza?"
"sure"
They arrived at the pizza place.
They ordered pizza and a couple of beers. Soon they were laughing and talking like they had been friends forever. They talked about life, family, friends and even past loves. By the end of the night they were dancing to "Don't stop believing".
She felt comfortable, happy around him. She felt she could be herself with him.
They walked out the pizza parlor and he drove her home. Walked her to the door like a gentlemen but unlike a gentlemen he didn't end up walking back to his car that night.
They stood at her front door under a flickering light bulb.
"Thank you for that Nick, you really made my night after the last few days" she leaned over and gave him a small kiss on his cheek and a hug.
What made him take the chance he'd never know but as she backed away from him he pulled her back in and kissed her lips, to his surprise she kissed him back.
In a matter of minutes he found himself making love to the woman he had only fantasized about. After that night nothing was the same.
End Flashback
He laid in his cell mad at himself for putting everything he cared for on the line because of a moment of anger.