A/N: I had a crazy thought. And with me, crazy thoughts never go unexplored. So here it is. Oh, and it's humanized just for the heck of it.
"Ah, Skipper. My old frienemy," Hans spun around in his burgundy arm chair, in a classic villian sort of way. Skipper's face blazed with anger at his 'frienemy'.
"Where are they?" He spoke from between his teeth. Hans just smirked and stood up.
"What? No hello? How rude of you," The Dane walked slowly towards the enraged soldier, his leather shoes making a rhythmic pattern of sound. He stopped dead in his tracks when Skipper grabbed his neck with a muscular arm.
"Where are they?" Skipper yelled. He scowled at Hans, but the dane still had a smirk on his face.
"Grabby, aren't you?" Skipper squeezed his neck, causing a gagging noise to come from the other.
"Just make easy on yourself and give me back my soldiers, Hans," Hans didn't respond and Skipper gave another squeeze.
"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Hans clapped his hands. Skipper turned his head to see enemy after enemy waltz in single file. Each one turned and smiled evilly. Skipper slowly left go of Hans and stared in shock at all his enemies all together in one room. "Skipper, meet my colleagues. To my understanding, you've become familiar with them," Of course the leader was. He recognized them all. He named all off silently in his head. Dr. Blowhole, the evil genius scientist with a menacing mechanical eye. The soviet agent only known as the Red Squirrel. Clemson, the sneaky son of a gun who tried to overthrow Julien the XIII, king of Madagascar. Savio, the creepy South American cannibal. They were all there, all scheming.
"Yes, Skipper, you wouldn't want to hurt any of us, or else," Blowhole laughed the laugh that gave him his name.
"Or else what?" Skipper paled, knowing it would be something bad.
"Well, you see Skipper it's simple. Very simple, actually," Clemson walked over to Hans' desk, and pressed a black button. For a moment, nothing happened and Skipper raised an eyebrow. "Give it a minute," Clemson ran a hand through his red hair and waited another minute. The Red Squirrel exhaled deeply and walked to the back wall.
"There goes the dramatic effect," He said before hitting it and having it crumble away, revealing an intricate command center with 3 monitors.
"You see, if you don't do exactly what we say or give us exactly what we want, we're going to do bad things," Savio looked almost like he was slithering as his lanky legs moved over to the control panels. He pressed a few buttons and the monitors lit up. Skipper stared like a scared puppy as he saw the calamities on the screens. One showed his teammates, tied, gagged and in some kind of room.
"That's my gas chamber. Fills the air with Carbon Monoxide," Blowhole said, noticing the soldier's eyes on that particular screen. "All my minion has to do is press a button, and it's all over," Skipper quickly turned his head to another screen and saw his neighbors, Julien, his assistances, and Marlene, hanging by shackles in a barely lit room.
"They'd make a very delicious supper," Savio licked his lips just looking at them.
"This'll also leave a vacant throne for me to take!" Clemson laughed manically.
Skipper felt overwhelmed by the time he looked at the last monitor. There was an army of missles aimed in different directions.
"I did my research and found the houses of all your friends, family members, military associates, et cetera," The Red Squirrel chuckled. "Don't tell me I won't set them off," Skipper fell to his knees, submissive for whatever they wanted him to do. All the villians laughed.
"What do you want?" Skipper's gaze was on the waxed black tiles of the lair.
"What do we want?" Hans got to his knees in front of Skipper. "Well, Skipper," His hand went under the commanding officer's chin and lifted it. The Dane leaned closely to his face, "We want you," Skipper's eyes widened. Before he could say anything, Hans kissed him forcefully. Skipper looked all around him and saw the evil men getting closer and closer, lust in their eyes. Skipper could push the other off of him. He could. But he took one more look at the monitors and thought about the lives of his friends, all dependent on his decision. "It's not worth it," Skipper thought in his head as he closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the evil men standing before him. "It'll be over soon enough," Was his last thought before he felt hungry hands tear his camouflage T-shirt and brown pants apart and caress the skin underneath.
A/N: Told you it was a crazy idea... Hope you guys liked it!
Special thanks for the positive feedback on He Stopped Loving Her Today, BTW. I'm very grateful.