'You what?'

'Mum's invited us for dinner.' Syed spoke very slowly, as if Christian was hard of hearing.

'Wait.' Christian shook his head in disbelief. 'You're saying your mother- as in Zainab Masood- invited us- as in Christian Clarke and Syed Masood- to dinner –as in an event where everyone at the table eats and has civil adult conversation?'

'I had the same reaction as you.'

'But won't I get lynched by your parents, who you know, hate me?'

'I wouldn't use the word hate-'

'The same parents who left me for dead and scream at me every time they see me? '

Syed flinched. 'Please Christian...'

'No.'

'Christian...'

'No.' Christian said firmly.

'I'm not going to sit at a table with people who hate me.'

'Christian, I don't hate you, Tamwar's cool and I'm fairly sure Kamil doesn't hate you either.' Syed tried for humour but it fell flat judging by Christian's resolute face.

'The answer's still no.'

'Christian. Mum's trying to make amends. This is the first time she's asked to see me since I moved in with you and it's a good sign, believe it or not, that she wants you to come too. This really means a lot to me.'

Christian's face softened as Syed's eyes met his.

'Fine.' Christian sighed. 'The things I do for you...'

Syed rewarded him with a lingering kiss. Christian wrapped his arms around Syed's waist and tried to pull him closer but Syed batted him away.

'Tease.'

'Later.' Syed said, as Christian pouted.

'Is that a promise?'

The glint in Syed's eye assured Christian it was.

'How do I look?' Christian twirled around.

'Your tie's wonky. Come here.'

Syed adjusted Christian's tie.

'Thanks Mum.' Christian said sarcastically, sticking his tongue out.

'You are so immature sometimes, you know that?'

'That's why you love me!'

'Hmmm.' Syed said, casting himself a glance in the mirror. Not bad.

'Hmmm? What sort of an answer is that?'

'An answer that won't inflate your already gigantic ego.'

'I'm hurt.' Christian said, grinning. 'You're just jealous of these babies!' He flexed his muscles, pretending not to notice Syed's eyes roving up and down.

'Yeah... I mean it just kills me that I don't have to go to the gym 10 times a week like someone I know. You really should kick that steroid habit.'

'Jealous...' Christian said in a sing-song voice.

'Come on... baby.' Syed took Christian's arm and dragged him out of the front door.

'I object to that infantile name.'

Syed just grinned in response.

They arrived at the Masood household bang on 7.

'Ready?' Syed asked nervously.

'As I'll ever be.' Christian replied.

Syed rang the bell. He could hear Zainab shouting 'TAMWARRRRR, doorbell.' And bit back a smile.

Tamwar opened the door. He looked relieved to see them.

'Hey Syed, hey Christian. Mum's been going completely crazy... but anyway, er... come in.'

Tamwar stood aside to let Christian and Syed in.

'Welcome Syed. Christian.' Zainab still said Christian's name the way one would say cockroach or any other vermin but Christian smiled politely.

'Hello Zainab.'

'Hi Masood' Masood's face appeared at the living room door. He nodded at Christian.

'Hi Mum, Dad. We brought you this.' Syed handed Zainab a wine glass set.

She glanced at it in disapproval. 'Have you forgotten we don't drink Syed?'

'No. It was for... orange juice.' Syed looked crestfallen. Christian put a supportive hand on Syed's shoulder. Zainab tensed.

'Come in. Sit down.' Masood gestured to the living room table.

Masood sat at the head of the table, Zainab sat opposite him, Tamwar sat to Zainab's left, leaving two chairs side by side opposite Tamwar. They sat down, Tamwar giving his brother a small smile.

They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds. Zainab got up. 'I think the pallak will be ready now.'

Zainab hurried back in, carrying two steaming bowls, one with pallak and the other with pilau rice. They all dished up.

Nobody seemed eager to start a conversation. Christian took a spoonful of food. 'This is amazing Zainab.'

'You don't find it too hot?'

'Not at all. I like my spice.'

Tamwar laughed and at his mother's glare, hurriedly turned it into a cough. 'Um... sorry. It went down the wrong way.'

'I'll get you some pepper.'

'Oh no thank you Zainab, it's fine as it is-'

But she had already gone. She returned carrying a bowl of cayenne pepper and a spoon. 'Here you go.' She said, putting a spoonful of pepper onto Christian's meal. 'Thank you Zainab-'

She carried on putting spoonful upon spoonful of pepper. 'It's not quite hot enough.... let me just put some more...' She placed another spoonful of the lethal pepper on the meal until nothing could be seen but a layer of red.

'Zainab!' Mas admonished.

She sat down, looking pleased with herself. Christian stared at his ruined meal in disbelief, giving Syed a 'see?' look. Syed calmly picked up his plate and picked up Christian's and swapped them.

Christian squeezed his hand in thanks under the table.

'So...' Tamwar said, attempting to end the agonising silence. 'What do you-'

His question was interrupted by a coughing fit from Syed.

'Sy, are you ok?' Christian glanced at his boyfriend concernedly. Syed tried to nod but was racked with coughing. Christian picked up Syed's glass of orange juice and handed it to him.

'Thanks.' Syed gasped weakly as he took a sip of orange juice.

'I don't approve of you shortening my son's name like that.'

'Mum, please-' Syed protested, holding up a hand as if to deflect her words.

Tamwar placed his head in his hands.

'Sy, Sy. What is this Sy? It's so... English. Syed is a good Pakistani name!'

Syed glanced at Christian apologetically.

Christian said nothing.

Zainab continued her tirade, pointing her spoon at Christian. 'But then again, I suppose you wouldn't have a problem with corrupting my son's name considering...'

'Considering what?' Christian's voice got deep, a sign, Syed knew, that he was angry.

'Considering you seduced him and turned him into your kind.'

'My kind? Human, you mean?'

'No! A homo- homosexual!'

'Mum!-'

'Zainab'

Masood, Tamwar and Syed simultaneously adomished Zainab.

'Christian...' Masood begrudgingly said, 'is our guest. Apologise Zainab-'

'But-'

'Apologise!'

Giving Christian one of her imfamous dirty looks that would cause a weaker man to drop dead, Zainab said, in a tone that indicated she did not mean a word of what she was saying,

'I apologise Christian. What I said, it was... it was out of line.'

Christian suppressed a grin, clearly revelling in Zainab's humiliation. 'I accept.'

After sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes, Syed leapt up, putting his serviette neatly on his table.

'Thanks for a lovely dinner Mum.'

'You're leaving? So soon? But you haven't tasted my cake. Nadim said it was better than Bushra's cakes.' She made a disapproving face.

'We should be getting home.' Syed gestured to Christian who stood up.

'But this is your home!' Zainab wailed.

'No. My home is with my homosexual lover. I like to call him Christian. Come on, babes.' Syed grabbed Christian's hand and they walked out of the dining room, leaving two dumbfounded faces and a smiling face in their wake.