Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and The Hunger Games. I also do not own Star Wars, as much as I would love to.
A/N: Hi :] I hope you like this, review if you like. Constructive criticism is always welcome, because God knows I'm not perfect.
"Come to the dark side…" Kantniss purred. Peeta tried to
"Can you be more original Bella?" Jasper's voice suddenly permeated my brain. Ugh, can't they just leave me alone? I regret placing that glass of orange juice beside my laptop this morning. I was trying to eat breakfast while reading a Hunger Games fanfic from my laptop. Since I was born clumsy – not to mention I have bad luck that nearly borders on being a disability, my hand knocked my glass of orange juice into my laptop while I was trying to grasp it so that I could drink. Sparks went flying from Sam, my trusty laptop. It was lucky that Emmett pulled the cord from the extension socket before more damage could occur, i.e. our house burning down. Jasper pronounced Sam dead at ten fifteen this morning. Sam was two years old. With Sam gone and the others refusing to lend me their laptop incase I might 'make them die a horrible and painful death', as Edward lovingly put it, I'm stuck with the old PC that we keep in the living room incase our laptops went kaput.
"What the fu- ugh, there goes my inspiration. Way to ruin the mood buddy." I said, exasperated.
"Ruin the mood?" Jasper chuckled, "Why? Were you aroused?" That question piqued our other friends' attention.
"What's that? Bella our asexual homosapien was aroused? What turned her on?" Ahh Edward, You turn me on, always, especially when I see you walk out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel and when you prance around the house in nothing but your Spongebob Squarepants boxers. But alas, Emmett and Jasper do not share my sentiment about you prancing the house practically naked, they do not want to bleach their brains again, the say. If only you know how much I want to pounce on you like a kitten that suddenly turned into a feral and sexy tigress. You would be powerless under my spell. Oh Edward.
"Come to the dark side" I hear Jasper say. I cannot believe I've fallen into my Edward daydream in front of my friends again. I cannot believe they don't catch me ogling Edward every single minute. I can't believe they still think I'm asexual. It doesn't mean that just because I still don't have a boyfriend, I don't go out and proclaim to the world how much a man's (or Edward's) anatomical parts make my lady bits tingle that I don't find men attractive. I just tend to keep those thoughts to myself and to the Hunger Games fandom via my stories, Peeta or Haymitch, sometimes President Snow (in my story that has been labeled as a 'crackfic')is based on Edward.
"Star Wars?" Edward asked. I was not surprised with what followed. Edward started breathing like Darth Vader, the breathing quickens and he lets out a series of groans in between breaths. "Oh yes, Bella, ugh, you feel so good baby" Edward said in his Darth Vader voice. Oh to hear you say those words…
I was pushed out from my stupor by their laughter. Then I remember why they were laughing.
"Jerks, I'm trying to write a story here, do you mind if you move on with your lives and do your businesses what-so-ever." I whined.
"Again with the fanfiction" Rosalie said. "Why the hell are you so obsessed with those stories?"
"Rose…" I was about to begin my tirade about fanfiction when Edward cut me off.
"I found her reading sex scenes once. What were those called again B? Oranges?"
"Lemo – what? What do you mean you caught me once?" Oh my god, this is mortifying.
Edward and the others laughed, it looks like I'm the only on who can't see the humor here.
"You were so immersed in it. You didn't even felt me behind you." He said.
"Look like Bella's unresponsive from behind." The boys chuckled.
"Bella is unresponsive any ways Em." Rosalie cackled.
Here they go again, discussing my sex life, or lack there of like I'm not even in the room.
"Hello bitches? I'm here you know." I said, waving my hand in the space in front of me.
"I wonder if girls turn Bella on." Jasper said. Ew.
Edward suddenly shifted from his seat and covered his crotch with the afghan on the couch "Ung, that'll be so hot Bella." He said, pretending to be turned on. I'm becoming annoyed. This has to stop.
"Maybe Rose and Bella can get it on. Right here, right now." Emmett said.
"Shut up fuckers" Now I'm really annoyed.
Rosalie suddenly stood up from her position in Emmett's lap and strutted to me. Then she started fondling her breast in front of my face.
"Oh God, this is gonna be good." Edward said. Jasper suddenly appeared behind Edward and smacked his head. "That's my sister, man!" He said.
"Okay, fine, go outside so the girls can play." Edward said snickering.
"Rosalie? What the fuck, stop that!" Jasper shouted. Rose was running her hands over her thighs, my face still in its mask of boredom.
"Kiss her Rosie, Kiss her!" Emmett said grinning.
"That's it guys, I'm outta here. By the way, Rose you're pretty but I'm not attracted to anything walking with a vagina. Sorry. "I said. I saved my work and stood up.
Rosalie cackled again. "See, she's unresponsive any ways."
I was supposed to close the door to my room when I heard Emmett say "I wonder if gay people turn her on?"
"No Em, gay doesn't turn me on," I shouted from the hallway.
"Then what turns you on Bella?" Edward shouted from the living room.
I went back into the living room entrance and stood in front of them.
"Do you really know what turns me on?" I said, staring into Edward's eyes.
Edward, Rosalie and Emmett all screamed "YES!"
"You" I said, smirking. I then proceeded to go to my room. I shut the door.
I jumped on my bed and screamed onto my pillow.
Emmett's POV
You? Huh?
"Uh guys," I said. "When she said 'you', does she mean Edward or does she mean all of us?"
A/N: So guys, what do you think?