Whoever has sinned against me I will blot out of my book.
(Exodus 32:33)
L gazes at the boy through dark, dripping strands of hair. At the moment, Light is bedraggled and sodden from his unpleasant rooftop outing during the storm, but he is proud and beautiful all the same, even as he sits hunched and barefoot on the steps, moodily toweling himself off. This boy is the one who will kill him. There is no doubt in L's mind. He knew from the first who his enemy was.
Is it the devil who has put it into the heart of Light Yagami to betray him? L suppresses a mirthless laugh as the rainwater runs off him in rivulets. Kira may be a devil and Light may be a liar, but they are one and the same. Kira is not some malevolent spirit who has possessed the boy, forcing him to do evil. L knows now that malevolent spirits do exist; he also knows that though they may haunt humans, they do not control them. Shinigami are supernatural and almost definitely dangerous, but they are not demons; the only prince of darkness is Kira himself.
L kneels at the feet of the boy who could have been his friend. L is used to being below Light—he has often been hunched in a chair with Light standing tall beside him. However, this position is entirely different. It is a pose of obeisance, like a servant attending to his master, or a devotee worshiping his lord. When L brings his white towel to Light's foot and grabs hold of it, Light inhales sharply, voice nearly cracking as he demands to know what L is doing. L almost smirks at the boy's nervousness. What does he think L is trying to do?
His reply to Light's question is soft and deceptively demure. "I thought I might help you out." His large gray eyes stare into Light's through a curtain of waterlogged hair. "You were busy wiping yourself off, anyway." His hands gently cup Light's foot through the towel, holding it almost reverently.
Will you calculate an answer, Kira? L wonders. Will you try to determine how much my suspicion of you will rise depending on how you react? L is no longer in the mood for mental sparring, speculations and deductions. What good will percentages and probabilities do when the suspect's guilt is so clear, when the end is so certain?
Light struggles to formulate a response under L's watchful eye. Does he have any idea that his pretenses are utterly transparent, that L can tell exactly what he is thinking? "Look, it's fine," he stammers. "You don't have to do that."
It's obvious that Light wants him to stop, but L intends to finish what he started. "It's the least I can do to atone for my sins," he says casually, with a bite of irony wrapped in his smooth words. The most he can do is die, of course, and he will do that in time. Kira is law, and according to that law he ought to die because he has claimed to be Justice. When Kira is god, no one shall be inscribed in the book of life. There is only a book of death. When Lord Kira shall judge, all will be condemned.
However, L has also sinned against Light Yagami. No matter that Light is Kira—at one point, L was the only one who knew that. He has seen the disapproval in the others' eyes; they did not understand why L had to imprison this young prodigy, why he had to suspect him and hurt him. L was the malefactor, the transgressor. How could such an innocent, golden boy be in the wrong? Light may have thought he was innocent once, but the truth is that Light is Kira. Light has always been Kira, even when the darkness was taken from him, and it was always meant to return.
L has massaged his own feet countless times before, working out the stiffness arising from keeping them curled in awkward positions and standing on them unevenly. When L lightly boasts of his skill, Light looks skeptical and uneasy, but perhaps he is pleased that L is offering him this show of surrender. "Fine. Do what you want."
L can feel Light's discomfort and tension, and finds it vaguely amusing that the only physical contact Light is accustomed to receiving from him is in the form of kicks and blows. Light could easily overpower him in this position, with a sharp kick to the face similar to the one L delivered to him before. But he sits calmly, if warily, and allows L to continue. As L presses his fingers into Light's foot through the towel, kneading methodically, Light gives a surprised grunt and another irked protest. L feels the tendons in Light's foot go taut. "You'll get used to it," he reassures Light mildly, and he listens to Light's breathing as he resumes. Some rainwater drips from the ends of L's sopping, inky hair. L thinks of how the prickling cold must feel on Light's skin, and imagines the pressure of skillful fingers on the delicate arch of his foot.
"Here." Light suddenly raises another towel to L's face and touches the side of his head with surprising gentleness. "You're still soaked." L doesn't know what good it will do him for Light to attempt to dry his hair with an already-damp towel. Perhaps Light just wants to touch him, to partially return the gesture of compassion—or to assert his power over L. What does it matter?
Without looking at his enemy, L says softly, "I'm sorry." I'm sorry that you are Kira, sorry that I can't let you go, sorry that you must one day answer for your crimes. L could be sorry that he will not live forever and that he will not be the one to defeat Kira, but he has come to terms with that. He has lived out the measure of his life. Even though his soul is troubled, what should he say—'Someone, anyone, save me from what's coming'? Who could possibly save him?
An age is coming when those who follow Kira will think that by doing so they are offering worship to some kind of god. L's successors will be the only ones to know that a deceiver shall proclaim himself to be L, while everyone else will be blind to the subterfuge and lies. L has set in motion the mechanisms to bring about Kira's downfall, no matter how many years it will take for the true L to resurface and claim his reward, but he will never see his disciples again. He cannot tell them, Take courage; I have conquered the world. In the age of darkness, there will be no advocate to guide them, but he tells himself that in the end, the world will be sanctified in truth. Eventually, his successors will prove the world wrong about crime and righteousness and judgment; on that day, the ruler of the new world will be condemned and driven out.
L looks at the boy who will betray him, who has already betrayed him with every lie he has uttered since he has known him. Perhaps he is correct in his conviction that Light Yagami has never once told the truth. As L speaks of loneliness and imminent farewells, Light seems bewildered at L's behavior, as if he doesn't know that L knows. Is this yet another of Kira's performances? Maybe you do not know now what I am doing, he addresses Kira silently, but later you will understand.
When the cell phone rings, like a tinny imitation of a far-off bell, he knows that his hour has come to depart from this world. Now, he thinks, do quickly what you are going to do, Kira.
It is finished.
A/N: I was in a weird mood when I wrote this. Many lines in this piece are quoted directly or slightly edited from the Gospel According to John, New Revised Standard translation. No irreverence or blaspheming was intended; I am merely interpreting the symbolism of this scene as a parallel to the gospel. Maybe I should offer a prize to anyone who can catch every reference.