When it came to sex, there was little Regulus Black didn't know. When it came to the practice of actually having said sex? Well, there lay the issue. See, one could not live with Sirius until the age of thirteen without hearing quite a bit about sex. However, being the younger brother of said "sex expert," came with a few challenges of its own.
Well, there was the fact that Sirius was a Gryffindor, and a bit of a cad to the ladies. Also, being constantly compared to the older, more dashing, more traditionally handsome, charming, and let's face it, outgoing brother tended to make Regulus look like less of a first string Quidditch player, and more of a reserve to be taken out occasionally, but not the preferred player.
There was also the extremely glaring fact that Regulus was gay. Kinsey six, bent around the corner and back again, my what a bum that one has gay. Add in the rather unavoidable pressure from his parents to provide a proper heir for the Black family, as the only recognized scion, plus the rather awkward marriage contract that he had recently lost, and Regulus Black was hardly at the top of anyone's "to-be-fucked" list. Really, everything wrong in his sex life came down to Sirius. The gorgeous, infuriating yet charismatic pain in Regulus' ass, or lack thereof.
Up until this year, Regulus didn't think much about sex. After all, he was thirteen, and barely had an interest in girls. Puberty hit him harder than a herd of Hippogriff, and he nearly quit the Quidditch team because of it. The first time he popped a boner in the locker room was unexpected, but after a hard practice in the pouring rain, he couldn't help but stare longingly at the bank of showers, waiting for his turn. Scion of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black or not, he was still a Third Year, and only a reserve seeker, and had to wait his turn for the chance to shower off the muck and rain. At first, he thought the tightening in his groin was a cramp, residual from having clung so desperately to his broom in the strong winds. Then, he rationalized, it must be the longing to be in the hot water that had him desperately wanting something, something warm, and good, and damn, his penis was hard again, aching like it had been on and off the past few months after waking up. At least this time, he wasn't laying in a puddle of drying cum. It couldn't possibly be the way that Yaxley's ass curved, or the strength in Lestrange's shoulders. No, he was just admiring the steam coming from the bank of showers, and the feeling of release of tight muscles, sort of like Rowle's beater's form, heavily muscled in just the right places. He wasn't bent, Blacks were perfect pureblooded specimens of wizards, and wizards certainly did not want to have another wizard stick their cock up their, well, he was a Black and that was that.
The second time, it was harder to pass off as an accident, and by the fifth time, Regulus was starting to dread Quidditch practice. It was agony waiting with an erect cock for the others to clear out so that he could take a cold shower to get rid of his erection.
By the end of his Third Year, there was no denying it, Regulus fancied men. It was a lot easier to be in the locker room by the end of Quidditch season now that he had a secret access to the naughty Wizards Wielding Wands magazine that he had found tucked away in the Room of Requirement. He didn't fancy his teammates, and wanking off to the slick oiled bodies of buff wizards playing with their wood didn't seem quite as gay as waking off to the pictures he'd found in DreamWizard with different men performing oral sex on each other, and even anal sex. Sometimes, there were even orgys. No, Regulus was just finessing his wanking technique by looking through the pictures of wizards stroking themselves, even if he did wank in rhythm with them sometimes, that was purely educational.
By the middle of Fourth Year, with Sirius officially blasted off the tapestry, Regulus started to really worry he was gay. See, if Sirius had just been the proper elder brother instead of getting himself sorted into Gryffindor, and then been practically adopted by the Potters, then the Selwyn sisters would have married the Black brothers, and Regulus could put an heir and a spare into his Selwyn, being the heir himself, and gone off to Knockturn Alley to bugger as many pretty men as he pleased. But, with the removal of Sirius from formal recognition as a Black, the deal was off. That left a fourteen year old Regulus to attempt to find a bride himself, one of proper lineage, of course, with most of his age mates already betrothed or so closely related to him, it was sickening to even attempt a marriage. Though, he would have considered marrying Andromeda, as she could have had her mudblood lover and he would have the freedom to take a male lover without the pretense of maintaining a marriage.
He could marry a much older woman, but where could he find one while he was still in Hogwarts? There were only two pureblooded girls in Hogwarts that were not already promised to someone else, one was from a minor family, a Burke, and the other was a blood traitor, Marlene McKinnon, his brother's on and off girlfriend. There were younger pureblooded girls, though it sickened him to think about becoming engaged to a babe in the cradle, though it would give him a degree of freedom for the next sixteen or so years. So, Regulus found himself in a predicament, the easiest way to find a bride would be to charm one out of a marriage contract and into his bed, knocking her up with his heir, and claiming her by ancient rite. But, that required sex. Actual. Vaginal. Sex. He shuddered at the very thought of a naked woman with breasts and a vagina, something he was supposed to feel a stirring from, not recoil in disgust from. He could hardly convince some pureblood to climb into his bed in the throes of passion when he was unable to think of a naked woman without a significant degree of nausea. There had to be a solution. Perhaps a spell, or a charm, maybe a potion that could help him with his predicament, and if anyone knew inventive spells or potions, that would be Severus Snape.
Severus was quite literally fucked. He had just finished a rather vigorous sex session with Lily Evans, who was now officially James Potter's girlfriend, in the Restricted Session, taking his time seducing the Head Girl into sullying the sacred shelves. Severus and Lily had been lovers for the past year, having staged their infamous falling out to protect Lily from the growing Death Eater population at Hogwarts. While they kept their distance at school, during the summer, Severus spent most of his time sneaking into Lily's room to avoid his father's drunken rages. Now that Severus was old enough to fight back, his father had little interest in attacking him, and he was too wary of his wife's wand to really do much more than scream at her. During those nights, Severus fucked Lily into her childhood mattress, relishing the fact that he could be caught in her bed at any moment.
However, the first time they were caught was not by Lily's parents, but by Regulus Black, the skinny sulking Slytherin fourth year, staring at the sight of Severus tucking himself back into his trousers and sliding Lily's skirt back over her thighs.
Fuck. Black, while a child, was practically a Death Eater in training, and was highly sought after by the Dark Lord. It would not do to have him running back to mummy with the news that Severus was shagging the mudblood of blood traitor James Potter.
He brusquely bid Lily a terse goodbye, sighing when she began to follow him, begging him to tell her what she did wrong. Each time it got harder and harder to reconcile his love for her with the fact that he knew she was fucking Potter in their shared dorms every night, besides sneaking off to be with him. She would likely marry the sod and have his precious half-blooded children, protected by Dumbledore and the mysterious Order of the Phoenix. And, it seemed, this was to be the last time he snuck off with Lily thanks to Regulus fucking Black. The little shit had a grin on his face as he stared down Severus, wagging one finger at him, knowing he had leverage over the seventh year boy.
Muffliato
Snape grabbed Regulus by the collar and slammed him against the bookshelf.
"I should Obliviate you right now."
Black had been expecting this, and held up a vial filled with the memory of Snape fucking Lily against the stacks of the Poisonous Plants section, and he swiftly banished it to his dormitory. He had planned to pay Severus for a solution to his problem, but better loyalty was bought through power than finances. Blackmail was a much better fix.
Cocking his head to the side like a raven studying a particularly difficult shell, Snape stared down the younger boy, trying to ascertain exactly what Black wanted. He figured it would be something asinine like Potions tutoring, or perhaps, some sort of subservience like scrubbing out Black's cauldrons. However, there was a dangerous gleam in his eye that Severus knew too well.
"Well, Snape, let's make a deal."
A/N: Please read and review! Con-crit is appreciated, as is love, though any slut-shaming or flames will be blocked! Many many thanks to the wonderful justcourbeau for her alpha/beta reading services, and input, go check out her stories! She just updated Mercury in Retrograde! 3