Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, but if I did than I'd have Russia, Prussia, Germany, America, and Lithuania locked up in my bedroom for the rest of eternity.
Chapter 1: The Two Otakus
The nations were having another world meeting, and like any other world meeting nothing was getting done. America, France, and England were fighting over something trivial. Italy as whining about being hungry to Germany, while Romano was telling the 'potato bastard' to get away from his baby brother, and Spain was trying to get Romano's attention. Russia was scaring Lithuania and Latvia, Belarus was creeping behind him, and Ukraine tried to stop her baby sister from harassing her brother. Prussia was harassing Austria, and Hungary was seconds away from whacking him with her iron pan. Japan was busy reading his newest manga and China was trying to sell him merchandise. So it was pretty much an average world summit.
"You bloody frog, my eyebrows are perfectly normal!" England roared at the Frenchman.
"But, Mon Cher Angleterre, you look like you have two troll dolls on your eyes," France replied smugly. "Or course they're not as big as Amérique's gut."
"Hey, I am not fat!" America protested.
"Ve! Germany lets go get some pasta, kay?" Italy said clinging onto the muscular blonde.
"Nein! The meeting isn't over," Germany told the other.
"Stop upsetting my brother, potato bastard!" Romano yelled as he tried to detach Italy from Germany.
"Oh, Romano, why don't we do something together, instead of bothering your cute little head over those two," Spain said.
"Shut up, tomato pervert!"
"Why won't you seat next to me?" Russia childishly asked, a dark aura surrounded the Russian. The two Baltic countries moved slowly away.
"It's okay, we're fine here, Mr. Russia," Lithuania mumbled as Latvia shook.
"Like, get away from like, Liet!" Poland said, standing between the Baltics and Russia.
"Kolkolkolkolkol."
"Marry me, brother!"
"Wah! Don't be say that to brother, Bela!" Boing, Boing.
"The awesome me will invade your vital regions and become a country again!" Prussia announced to an annoyed Austria. BANG! Prussia was lying on the ground twitching with Hungary standing over him with a pan.
"So, Japan, you like [insert random yaoi shojo manga here]! Would you like to buy the plushies of the characters I just made- aru?" China asked his younger brother.
"Do I need to explain copyright again?" Japan said in his monotone voice.
"Why do you keep using this meaningless word with me-aru?"
On the other side of the meeting room, England stood with his magical wand. He chuckled evilly as he watched France and America continuing to bicker. Waving his wand in up in the air he chanted a spell to turn France into a frog and America into a pig, but since when has any of England's magic gone right? Nothing happened, and a displeased England grumbled and went to sulk in his seat.
(0 [] 0)
In Other Universe …
Two teenaged best friends sat in a living room watching Hetalia on the Funimation channel. The two girls, despite their tight-knit friendship, looked nothing alike. The older (by nine months), but shorter, of the two had straight brown hair, straight bangs, green eyes, tan Hispanic skin, and a slightly large nose. The girl was adorable to say the least because of her short stature and petite body. She wore black tutu, light blue tights, an aquamarine tee shirt with a scoop neckline, and light blue flats.
The other girl was taller than the other by five inches, and was a bit plumper. She had curly dark blond hair with streaks of light yellow, middle eastern light brown eyes, brown beauty marks scattered at random spots on her face, a button nose, pale skin, and large hipster-style yellow glasses. She wore a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a violet pleasant blouse, and black leather combat boots. Unlike the other girl, this one had a buxom chest, which caused her great trouble whenever she went clothes shopping.
"Alcina, does this episode seem different to you?" the shorter girl asked the other.
"Yeah, it does Lydia. I don't remember the countries saying that or England taking out his wand before," Alcina, the blond, answered. Then the weirdest thing happened. The TV in Lydia's living room went black, and then the screen turned into a purple portal.
"What the hell?" Lydia called out when the portal started to pull them in.
"My bag!" Alcina called out, and snatched her large dark green duffel bag. The two friends were then sucked into the purple portal that had controlled the TV screen.
(0 [] 0)
Back at the World Summit …
Everyone was still bickered when suddenly a seventeen-year-old busty blonde wearing a violet blouse fell from the ceiling of the meeting room and landed on France's lap. The room went silent.
"It's raining women, on my lap! My dreams have come true! C'est magnifique!" France said breaking the silence.
"I want one!" America called out. As if on cue, a seventeen year-old brunette in a black tutu fell and landed on America's lap.
"Fuck yeah!" America fisted pumped in the air.
"Well my blonde has a bigger seins. Yours only has B-cups," France said, gesturing to the blond girl's chest. SLAP! The blond had smacked the Frenchman.
"Oi, pervers fous, I know enough French, to know what that means," the blonde said hopping off the other's lap. "And my name is Alcina, not 'my blonde!" Everyone stared at Alcina, as she walked over to the other girl, chest bouncing in an Ukraine-like fashion without the 'boing' sound effects.
"Lydia, get off his lap," Alcina told to the brunette, Lydia.
"But, Ally! It's America!" Lydia said from her seat on America's left thigh.
"I know that! That why I want to be on his lap!" Alcina squealed, and hopped on America's right thigh. America had shit eating grin as the two girls fought over him.
"But I landed on his lap first! Move your fatass!" Lydia protested.
"So? Just because I landed on the frog's lap doesn't mean I'm going to set up camp there," Alcina said stubbornly.
"Hey look! It's Prussia!" Lydia called out and pointed to the still unconscious albino on the floor. Lydia knew who were Alcina's favorite nations, and Prussia was in the top five. With out hesitating, Alcina pounced onto the former country, which was a great feat since the distance from America's lap and Prussia was at least nine feet. She straddled his waist, hugged him, and by doing that pushed her breast in the albino's face without realizing it. Lydia seemed please with having America's lap all to herself again.
"Um, who are you?" Japan finally asked the golden question. Alcina looked up, her breast still in Prussia face. Lydia looked up as well, but she still hugged to America.
"Oh, I'm Lydia Graveran, and this is my ottosan Alcina Delacroix," Lydia answered.
"Hoh, Hoh, that last name sounds French and you speak French too, no? You must be a citizen of mine," France said in a creepy perverted way.
"Nooooo, I'm Moroccan, and the only reason why I know French and why my surname is French is because it's the second language in Morocco," Alcina said, glaring at France. "And besides, me and okusan are American citizens."
"Yes! See my people are hot!' America said.
"Shut up, you bloody wanker!" England yelled.
"OMG! Iggy!" Lydia called out and tackled the British man. "Iggy! Iggy! I love you! Can I meet flying mint bunny and Tinker Bell, and your unicorns? Let's have tea and scones!" England stood up with Lydia's legs wrapped around his waist and her arms wrapped around his neck. She was as light as she looked, and England's cheeks were bright red.
"Switzerland! Ottosan its Vash!" Lydia jumped from England to the Swiss man. She hugged him tightly, and sat on his lap. Apparently the summit only had enough chairs for the nations.
"What the hell, Mädchen verrückt?" Switzerland said, his scarlet. Liechtenstein giggled at her big brother's blushing.
"Why are you calling each other wife and husband in Japanese?" Japan asked.
"Its b'c'use s'e is me w'fe. R'ght Su-san?" Alcina said in Sweden's accent. Sweden nodded as if it made prefect sense, and wrapped his arm possessively around a blushing Finland.
"Alcina started called me that one day, so I went along with it," Lydia explained. "She sees me as her Finland for some reason unknown to me."
"How do you know about us, and how did you get here?" Germany asked trying to get some control.
"You see England shouldn't try magic," Alcina said with a knowing tone.
"I think we were teleported from another universe, and were sent here when England tried to cast a spell," Lydia said.
"In our universe you all are apart of an anime from Japan," Alcina continued to explain. Everyone looked at Japan. They stopped being surprised at what Japan made after they saw some of his commercials.
"We're otakus," Lydia stated. During the commotion, Prussia had waked up. The first things he noticed were two large breasts in his face. Either Hungary had finally killed him, and he was in heaven, or this was a reward from the universe for being awesome. It was probably because he awesome, but he didn't want to test his luck so he just stayed there, enjoying the D-cups on his face.
"Look, Alcina isn't that Russia?" Lydia told the blonde. Alcina got off Prussia, much to his dismay.
"Hey, why did your awesome boobs get off the awesome me?" Prussia called annoyed. Alcina ignored to him, and walked to Russia. She acted as if she was in some trance. When she reached Russia, she hugged him tightly.
"Ах, матушка Россия, я люблю тебя. Я узнал ваш язык именно для вас," Alcina told the violet-eyed man. He grinned at whatever she had told him in Russian.
"Become one with Mother Russia, da?" Russia asked Alcina.
"Dа! Я сделаю все, что вы от меня хотите!" Alcina answered willingly. Russia gave a creepy smile, and put the blond girl on his lap, and petted her head. Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Ukraine, Poland, Prussia, and everyone other nation who knew enough Russian to know that 'Da' means yes (that's basically everyone) looked shocked at the American slash Moroccan girl as if she had three heads.
"Get away from my brother, сука!" Belarus yelled she charged at Alcina with her knife.
"Belarus, shouldn't have done that," Lydia said knowingly. Confused everyone stared at the scene about to unfold. Alcina had jumped off Russia's lap, and sent a roundhouse kick to Belarus's jaw. Belarus ducked and sliced at Alcina's feet. Alcina jumped, and tackled Belarus. Alcina pinned down Belarus's arm by using her knees, and removed the knife out of Belarus's hands.
"Because, you're Russia's little sister, I won't kill you, but because you scare Russia, and try to take him away from me, I have to tie you up," Alcina said, sweetly, a dark aura surrounded her in a very Russia-like way. "Okusan, hand me my rope and gag from my duffel bag." She asked the brunette.
"Where is it?" Lydia asked. She had moved from Switzerland's lap back to America, her true love.
"Check near France's seat. It's the dark green one with the Russia keychain," Alcina answered.
"Is it this one, Mon Cher?" France asked picked up the duffel bag, which had a chibi Russia keychain on the zipper.
"That's the one, now open it and pulled out my rope and gag," Alcina asked.
"Um, why do you have rope and a gag in your bag?" England asked.
"Why does a rose censor France, and where the hell does it come from?" Alcina retorted as she caught the rope and gag that France threw at her. She tied Belarus until the female nation was immobile.
"Сука я па-чартоўску заб'ю цябе, шлюха!" Belarus spat at Alcina.
"What a mouth you have on you," Alcina said, and put the gag in Belarus's mouth. Alcina turned to Russia. "Is this okay, Ivan?" she asked.
"Da, it's okay," Russia, smiling that his Alcina knew his name and was using it. Alcina returned to her seat on Russia's lap. Russia pulled Alcina closer to him, wrapped his arms around her waist, and placed his chin on the top of her head. Her hair reminded him of sunflower petals. America pulled Lydia closer to himself as well, who smiled and curled up on his lap.
"How did you do that?" China asked Alcina. The teenaged blonde had taken down Belarus like it was a walk in the park.
"I'm a first degree black belt in Tae Kwon Doe," Alcina answered.
"Tae Kwon Doe originated in Korea, daze!" South Korea exclaimed.
"That's actually correct," Japan said.
"Hey, Alcina what did you bring in your duffel bag?" Lydia asked.
"Oh, France toss me my bag, s'il vous plaît," Alcina asked.
"Voulez-vous me voir tes seins" France asked.
"No, but I'll rip your dick off, if you don't," Alcina answered. France quickly tossed the duffel bag despite its weight, with his other hand over his crotch protectively. Alcina opened her bag, and searched in it.
"Uh, I got my iPhone 4, my mac, my nook, the chargers for all three of them, my sketchbook, some candy, my special pencils, your mac, your iPhone 4, your Nintendo DS 3, your chargers, your teddy bear, your Black Butler, Vampire Knight, Karin Kamaicha, Mermaid Melody, Ouran High School Host Club mangas, my pajamas (that I was planning to wear doing at our sleepover, no such luck) your pajamas, some of my underwear, some of your underwear that I stole, some of my clothes, some of your clothes that I stole as well, my house keys, my Russia plushie, my Ciel Phantomhive plushie, your Sebastian Michaelis plushie, your America plushie, some of our books, your guitar, my violin, oh and my cat Vanya, and your Shizu dog, Candy, that I put in my bag when you weren't looking," Alcina finished. Everyone stared, shocked, with their jaws swinging open. "What? Mary Poppins's bag gots nothing on mine." Alcina said.
"You have bloody animals in there?" England said. As if on cue, a tiny Russian Blue cat, and a tiny white Shizu dog, stuck their heads out. The dog, Candy, jumped out from the bag, and over to Lydia, who picked her up.
"That must be animal cruelty," China mumbled.
"No, it isn't, because I put them in a part of my bag that is comfortable, has food, and has air holes, an besides lots of girls in LA put their pets in their bags," Alcina protested, took out Vanya, zipped up her bag, put the bag on the floor, and placed Vanya on her lap.
"You name your cat after me," Russia said smiling.
"Yep, because she's a Russian Blue," Alcina said cheerfully. Russia petted the green-eyed cat that purred at his touch.
"Dude, this is the cutest dog, I've ever seen," America exclaimed as he held Candy up.
"I know right," Lydia said.
"Lydia-san, Alcina-san, May I ask you two a question?" Japan asked.
"Call us Chun and yeah," the two girls said unison.
"Who's your favorite pairing in Vampire Knight and Ouran Host Club?" Japan asked going into fan girl-mode. The two girls got off the laps of their favorite nations, leaving their beloved pets in their place. They went to Japan.
"ZOMG! KanameXYuki!" Alcina said.
"TamakiXHaruhi all the way," Lydia said. The three continued to talk about their favorite animes and mangas in Japanese.
"How many languages do you know?" Germany asked.
"Oh, I know Japanese, Spanish, French, Italian, and Chinese. Spanish is my second language I know because I'm Columbian, and learning Italian was easy because of that. And I learned Chinese in school as well," Lydia told Germany.
"And I also know Japanese, French, German, Russian, and Moroccan. My gran taught me Moroccan while my mom taught me French, and I taught Lydia French. Lydia and I took Japanese together in school. I took German while she was took Chinese, and I taught myself Russian," Alcina said.
"You've become slightly awesome for knowing my awesome language," Prussia announced, trying to get on Alcina's good side. Truthfully, he just wanted her boobs in his face again. No such luck.
"Ve! Do you like pasta?" Italy asked the girls. The reddish brown-haired man-child drifted to the makeshift circle that Lydia, Alcina, and Japan made on the ground.
"I love pasta!" Lydia said. The two chatted in Italian about food.
"We'll have to figure out where to keep you two while you stay," Germany said, being the voice of reason.
"Es ist so heiß, wenn Sie der einzige verantwortlich sein zu versuchen," Alcina cooed in German, still in fan girl-mode. Whatever she said made Germany ears go red, Prussia pout, and Russia's right eye twitch.
"Вернитесь в коленях, мой подсолнух," Russia commanded.
"Okay," Alcina said cheerfully, and reclaimed her seat on the violet-eyed man's lap. She picked up Vanya, and nuzzled her cheek with the cats.
"Um, Ms. Alcina, what are is the rope you used to tie up Belarus made of?" Lithuania asked concerned. Belarus was trying to cut herself free using her spare knife.
"Don't worry Toris. It's made of titanium so she can't cut herself free," Alcina assured. 'Where does a teenaged girl get titanium rope?' Lithuania thought.
"Where are we right now?" Lydia asked no one in particular.
"New York," America answered. "We're in the United Nations building right now."
"Ottosan, lets stay with Alfred," Lydia asked Alcina.
"But, okusan, I want to stay with Ivan," Alcina protested. It made Russia happy to know that his sunflower preferred to stay with him than America.
"Legally, we're Alfred's citizens," Lydia protested. Alcina giggled in a creepy way.
"Lydia, we've been friends since sixth grade. You should know by now that the word 'legally' has the same mean to me as 'copyright' has to China," Alcina laughed.
"I know, it didn't hurt to try, but what if Russia came to stay with us?" Lydia offered.
"Can you please stay with here me, Ivan?" Alcina asked the Russian. "You can bring the Baltics, and we can visit the motherland whenever you want." Russia smiled. It was adorable how his sunflower bargained with him, but she did make a good offer, and annoying America did make him laugh.
"As long as you become one with me," Russia said.
"Ivan, I've wanted to become one with you since I was twelve," Alcina stated. "Becoming one with you is actually on my bucket list."
"It's true, "Become one with mother Russia" is number one on her list," Lydia added.
"Then I'll stay here, but as long as Amerika lets me, of course," Russia challenged.
"Alfred, please let Russia stay, I can't leave Alcina alone. She will invade Germany and claim the land as her new empire if you give her the chance, and Russia will give her that chance if not supervised," Lydia said. Germany seemed frighten. America gulped
"Really?" America asked Alcina.
"Yep, I always wanted to enslave Germany and Prussia, and own them like little doggies chained up in my basement," Alcina said nonchalantly. The two Germans we freaked out.
"You wouldn't," Prussia said.
"Yes I would," Alcina said.
"Russia is staying here," Germany told America firmly.
"But-" America was interrupted.
"He stays goddamnit!" Germany exclaimed. Something told Germany that the tiny brunette girl, Lydia, was the only thing holding Alcina back from world domination.
"You're right, Ludwig, Lydia is the only thing holding me back from world domination," Alcina said. What the fuck! She could read minds too?
"I have an even greater need for domination here, though, since you're all personifications, like I dreamed off. If I did decide to rule this world though, I'd make Russia my King, let him keep whoever he wants as toys or keep alive, Lydia, my Queen, I'd let her keep America, England, Italy, China, Sweden, and Finland as her toys, make Ukraine into a duchess, I'd keep Germany, Prussia, Japan, Lithuania, Canada, France, Austria, Denmark, Latvia, and Hong Kong as my toys, and make everyone else into servants," Alcina stated in a childish dreamy voice with a creepy aura surrounding her. Everyone had suddenly received a newfound fear of Alcina, besides Russia of course, he's her king after all.
"Wait if Russia's your king and Lydia's your queen, then what are you?" Italy asked innocently.
"The Supreme Empress of the World," Alcina answered.
"Okay? Lets quickly and awkwardly move onto another subject," Lydia said. "So we're staying at Alfred's place, right?"
"Yeah," America answered.
"Ve, Germany lets stay with them," Italy said. Germany was about to say no when Alcina shot him a look.
"Lydia liebt Italien und Italien liebt dich, so mit uns oder sonst kommen," Alcina told the German.
"Ja," Germany agreed.
"Ally, don't bully Germany," Lydia said.
"Who ever wants to stay with ever wants to stay with us, write your names on this paper, pack your bags, and go to America's house," Alcina said ignoring Lydia, and passed around a piece of blank paper and pen around.
"I didn't agree to this," America protested.
"Oh, hush, Alfred, the extra nations spending money here, will be good for your economy," Alcina said. Soon, the paper was back to Alcina. The countries on the paper were the G8, Prussia, Romano, Spain, Austria, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Hungary, Ukraine, the Baltics, Poland, Sweden, Finland, Sealand, and Canada.
"Can I see the paper?" America asked.
"Here, Lydia, check out the twenty-four nations who I didn't scare off, and don't hate America that much," Alcina said, turned the paper into an airplane, and sent it to Lydia.
"Hey, I should know who's coming to my house!" America whined.
"Whining is very unbecoming of you, Alfred," Alcina teased. The English- speaking country pouted.
"Don't tease Alfred, Alcina," Lydia scolded, and gave America the paper. America looked like examined the paper as if considering the context.
"Alfred," Alcina said carefully, "Would you like me to help me read that for you?" Many nations laughed, and other stifled laughter. America sputtered, with embarrassed read cheeks, and went to his emo corner.
"Alcina! Apologize now!" Lydia commanded standing up.
"What kind of apologize? The 'Blah, blah Sorry' or the 'Spring Break' apologizes?" Alcina asked hopping off Russia's lap.
"Patriotic apologize. Your 'Blah, Blah Sorry' is depressing, and you're not flashing him," Lydia said. It's like taking care of an unnaturally hormonal child, sometimes. Alcina went to where America was sulking in the corner, and sat down next to him. Puffing her cheeks out, she pulled off her violet blouse, but lucky she wore a faded red and blue tank top with white stars.
"My country, tis' of thee,
Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee I sing
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountain side
Let Freedom ring." Alcina sang. Her voice wasn't like Adele or like Amy Lee, but it was kind and loving like a mother singing to her child. Other nations had quieted down to listen. She continued to sing.
"My native country, thee,
Land of the noble free,
Thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
Thy woods and templed hills,
My heart with rapture thrills
Like that above." America had begun to sing along with Alcina, smiling. His singing voice wasn't like the other expected it to be based on his nation's pop stars. It was clear, smooth, deep, and beautiful.
"Let music swell the breeze,
And ring from all the trees
Sweet Freedom's song;
Let mortal tongues awake
Let all that breathe partake
Let rocks their silence break,
The sound prolong." Lydia went to sit next to the two, and sang as well, her voice was a rich soprano. The three different voices combined together created an amazing sound.
"Our fathers' God to Thee,
Author of Liberty,
To thee we sing,
Long may our land be bright
With Freedom's holy light,
Protect us by thy might
Great God, our King.
Our glorious Land to day,
'Neath Education's sway,
Soars upward still.
Its hills of learning fair,
Whose bounties all may share,
Behold them everywhere
On vale and hill!
Thy safeguard, Liberty,
The school shall ever be,
Our Nation's pride!
No tyrant hand shall smite,
While with encircling might
All here are taught the Right
With Truth allied.
Beneath Heaven's gracious will
The stars of progress still
Our courses do sway
In unity sublime
To broader heights we climb,
Triumphant over Time,
God speeds our way!
Grand birthright of our sires,
Our altars and our fires
Keep we still pure!
Our starry flag unfurled,
The hope of all the world,
In peace and light impearled,
God hold secure!" The three had finally stopped singing. Lydia hugged America's waist, and Alcina petted Nantucket on his head, which wagged happily. She pulled her violet blouse back on though.
"My citizens love me!" America exclaimed, ruining the moment.
"And, you just killed it," Lydia said rolling her eyes.
"Why were we on the floor?" Alcina asked, standing up, pulling America and Lydia up with her. "And you," Alcina turned to faced America. "You have to realize that I'm a narcissistic, violent, ego-maniac, sarcastic, sadistic, psychotic, dark humored, melodramatic, slightly schizophrenic, cat loving bitch with an unhealthy obsession with Russia, so don't take any of my words to heart, and that goes for everyone else," she finished with one big breath. Vanya had come back and was brushing up against America's legs.
"Look, Vanya likes you Alfred!" Lydia stated innocently. Blood gushed out of Alcina nose as naughty thoughts about her number one pairing at the statement.
"Excuse me, I need to read a RusAme yaoi doujinshi to calm myself down," Alcina said while blood continued to out of the okatu's. She pulled out her nook from her duffel bag, and went to sit in a corner. Hungary and Japan joined the blonde.
"What does RusAme mean?" America asked. Lydia faced palmed.
"Al, I'll give you a hint. Rus is the first three letters of whose name, and Ame is the first three letters of whose name? And in fandom, fans squish the two names of the characters of their favorite pairings," Lydia explained. The blonde nation tapped his chin in thought. His eyes widened in realization.
"EW! What kind of sick twisted psycho pairs me up with that commie bastard?" America yelled glaring at the Russian man.
"Me!" Alcina called out smiling evilly. "I love any pairing that has Russia as the seme, and involves rape and S&M." Everyone looked shocked at the blonde. They assumed that she was insane, but their assumptions were now reassured.
"Oh! What are your favorite yaoi pairings here?" Hungary asked clasping both her hands with Alcina's. "My favorites are Mr. Austria slash Prussia, and Germany slash Italy!"
"Tehee! My number one is Russia slash America, but I love reading Russia slash Prussia, America slash Germany, and Russia slash Germany, but it's hard to find good fan fictions about the last two!" Alcina babbled. Germany twitched, America shutter, Alcina had become as un-awesome as the commie in his mind, and Russia smiled. His sunflower understood that all will become apart of Mother Russia in the end.
"How about you Lydia-chun?" Japan asked. He was considering making doujinshis about their favorite pairings as welcoming gifts.
"I love America slash England," Lydia gushed, ignoring the disgusted face that Alcina made. The blonde disagreed greatly with that pairing. "I like Russia slash China, Austria slash Switzerland, and Italy and Germany too!" The four okatus pranced around together talking about their favorite pairings.
"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Germany mumbled, his face in his hands.
"Ve, pasta will make it better," Italy told Germany seriously as if he just solved global warming. Italy picked up Candy and petted the Shizu.
(0 [] 0)
After the world meeting …
Alcina laid stretched out in the back seat of America blue pick up Chevy truck. Lydia sat in the passenger seat, on cloud nine, next to America who was blabbing on about god knows what. Candy was on Lydia's lap, staring with great concentration out the window. Vanya laid lazily on top of Alcina, napping. Alcina's duffel bag was in the back of the Chevy. The world meeting had ended three hours ago so now America was driving the girls to his house in Virginia. The nations who had agreed to stay with America were making calls to their bosses, and packing their things from their hotels. They would take either trains or planes to America's place.
Russia wasn't all that ready to let Alcina leave him so soon. Alcina was able to persuade him that she would be fine, but he gave her his spare pipe, just in chance.
She was currently twirling the pipe in her hand, scaring America. She thought his fearful look was adorable.
"Can you stop playing with the commie's pipe? It's fucking scary?" America said, staring at the metal weapon from the review mirror.
"Are you afraid that I'll stick it up your ass?" Alcina taunted, smirking. America shuttered, but ignored the girl. Lydia sighed. It has been like this since New York. Alcina would taunt or mock Alfred; Alfred would take the bait, Alcina then adds salt to the injury, and make a joke or insult on America's behalf. Lydia knew that this was just Alcina trying to befriend Alfred. She had remembered when Ally had a verbal war with a boy in middle school, and they ended up as close friends with snarky banter. Trying to lighten the mood, Lydia took out her iPhone connected to the truck's radio system. She flipped through her playlist and picked "Monochrome No Kiss" the Black Butler theme song. The girls sang along to the Japanese lyrics without thinking.
"Is this one of Kiku's songs?" Alfred asked.
"Yeah, its one of our favorites," Lydia informed, scratching behind Candy's ears.
"In the sea of dependence, I forget to even breathe," Alcina sang the English lyrics.
"Urgh, stop running the song," Lydia grumbled.
"I like how it shows in English," Alcina protested.
"Can we listen to something in English?" America asked.
"Nashi!"
"Nyet!"
(0 [] 0)
West Springfield, Virginia, US of freaking A …
Alfred's house looked exactly how it did in anime episodes; a large Victorian-style brown oak three flood house with a private yard. Alfred had parked his Chevy in the garage, and then escorted the girls to the house. He even carried Alcina's dark green duffel bag. Said blonde walked into the living room area, and dropped her Russian Blue on the floor.
"Be a good girl Vanya," she told her cat who gave her a "Fuck off" face, and sauntered away. Wait, do cats even saunter?
"Wow, its bigger than I thought I would be," Lydia said and placed Candy on the ground who pranced away. Stupid animals, and their descriptive movement.
"So you guys like the place?" Alfred asked, placing Alcina's bag on the couch.
"Yeah, so big," Lydia answered, and poked her head into the large kitchen.
"That's what she said," Alcina and Alfred said in unison. The two grinned then high fived each other. Lydia sighed, but smiled. 'At least they're getting along,' she thought.
"Al, were do we sleep?" Lydia asked. It was only six p.m. but she still needed to know.
"Um, anywhere I guess," he answered scratching the back of his head. "There are three bedrooms here, five on the second floor, and six in the third, but my room is the second on the first floor."
"Let's share rooms, okusan, this place will be stuffed once everyone gets here," Alcina said. She was making a mental chart in here head as to who would have to bunk with whom once they arrive.
"Sure," Lydia mumbled, distracted. "What should we make for dinner?"
"Can I make Heirra and tagine and you can make Bandeja paisa?" Alcina offered, and began searching though the cupboards. "But I'll have to make the tagine in a something else then an actually tagine."
"Do large portions so we can feed everyone, and I'll make it kosher just in case." Lydia added. She was slightly impressed by the amount of ingredients that America had in his kitchen.
"What are Hera, tageen, and bandeje pasa?" Alfred asked. His American accent butchered the words greatly.
"Heirra is Moroccan soup and tagine is a Moroccan dish that has chicken and vegetables," Alcina answered. She was already washing carrots and cucumbers.
"Bandeja paisa is a Columbian dish packed with a ton of delicious food," Lydia added. The girls had gone into cooking mode, and zoned out America. He took the hint, and went to watch TV.
Countries had begun to come in soon. First was England and France who came in fighting, then China, Sweden and Finland, Germany and Italy, Romano and Spain, Hungary, Austria, and Prussia, Sealand had snuck in with the two Nordics, the Baltics came with Ukraine and Poland, Switzerland and Liechtenstein, Canada drifted in, and finally Russia.
"Amerika where is my sunflower?" the Russian asked. America pointed to the kitchen's locked doors. The two girls had been in there since they came.
"You wanker, you letting your guests cook for you?" England said angrily. America had just broken a gentlemen rule, after all.
"Kolkolkolkolkol."
"Whoa, chill dudes, they wanted to cook. They making food form their countries or something," America said.
"Yeah, and besides, girls are supposed to be in the kitchen to make awesome food." I'm not even going to tell you who said that, but he did receive a whack from a certain Hungarian's pan.
"Maybe we should help them?" Liechtenstein said, mostly directed to Switzerland. The authoress is going to make her life easier and call her Lilly from now on.
"NO!" Alcina opened the door to the kitchen suddenly, frightening everyone, and stepped out. Her hair was pulled into a braid; glasses pushed up on her head, and wore one of America aprons, which ironically read 'Hottest Blonde in the Kitchen.'
"Lydia and I are done cooking, now," she explained. "But if you want to sent the table then be my guest." She gestured to the bare dining room down the hall. The nations nodded, and headed to that direction. The more helpful countries set up the table while everyone else sat at the table.
"Ve, I want pasta," Italy told Germany.
"Hush," was the German's respond. Lydia walked through the door that connected the kitchen to the dinning room. She held was must have been a thousand dishes; lucky the closest nations quickly helped her. She reentered the kitchen to be replaced by Alcina who carried a large soup pot. She placed it on the table, and retreated back to the kitchen. Lydia came back with a large platter filled with food. Alcina came back holding a platter that had steaming teapot. The smell of roses waffled from the teapot. She placed it at a counter near the table.
"I didn't know that you owned a teapot Alfred," England said.
"Neither did I."
Lydia went to sit next to Switzerland and Lilly, while Alcina went to sit next to her beloved Russia. The blond girl lean up, and took off the lid of the soup pot. A spicy sweet scent drifted from the pot.
"It's not pasta," Italy said bluntly. Alcina chuckled.
"You'll like it, don't worry," she said. Everyone began to eat, trying the foreign cuisine. True to her word, the soup was enjoyed. The Bandeja paisa was well liked, and the tagine was picked clean. Once everyone was done, Alcina brought back the teapot.
"This is Moroccan Rose tea," she explained as poured the warm drink into glass cups.
"Um, Alcina, glass doesn't take well to tea," Arthur said. She smirked and continued to pour the tea in glasses.
"Don't worry it's magical," Lydia told the Brit with a wink. Amazingly, the glass didn't break from the hot beverage. Alcina passed tea around. Everyone took their glasses, and stared at it cautiously. Some have had rose tea before, but didn't know what the Moroccan heritage would do to change it. Others were afraid of having another of England's bitter tea. Soon everyone took a sip. It tasted sweet and fresh, how you'd expect a rose to be. Even America drank the tea. The dinner was interesting as the nations ate and drank something that was not their own. The change was different but not unwelcomed.
The day had finally ended, and the nations and two girls headed to their new rooms. Alcina and Lydia were dressed in the pajamas that Alcina ad brought with them.
"Who would have thought that your habit to steal my clothing would be useful," Lydia mumbled, as she lay down in the large queen-sized bed. They had chosen this room because of the beautiful view it had of the garden outside. The single queen-sized bed didn't faze them.
" 'Tis not a habit, it's a way of life," Alcina said she crawled in to bed. Vanya and Candy laid already asleep at their sleep.
"Interesting day, huh," Lydia, said.
"Yeah, who would have thought?" Alcina added. She curled up next to Lydia.
"Um, Lydia?"
"What?"
"Did we ever remember to untie Belarus?"
"… … Yes?"
"Oh, okay. Good night, Okusan."
"Goodnight, Ottosan."
(0 [] 0)
I enjoyed writing this. This is about me and my best friend (we didn't use real names), and what would happen if we were sent to the Hetalia world. My friend is Lydia while I'm Alcina. And yes before you ask, this is exactly how we act and talk in real life, and we do call each other wife and husband. Alcina and Lydia's descriptions, traits, heritage, and opinions are based on my friend and myself. We even have the same pets in real life, only with different names. The only thing that isn't true are language we "speak." I only know English and Moroccan, and my friend only knows English and Spanish.
Translations:
Look I got this all from Google Translate so don't blame me if the meanings are slightly off.
Seins- breasts (French)
pervers fous- crazy pervert (French)
Mädchen verrückt- crazy girl (German)
Dа! Я сделаю все, что вы от меня хотите- Yes! I'll do what ever you want me to do (Russian)
Ах, матушка Россия, я люблю тебя. Я узнал ваш язык именно для вас- Oh, Mother Russia, I love you. I learned your language just for you. (Russian)
Ottosan- husband (Japanese)
Okusan- wife (Japanese)
сука! - Bitch (Belarusian)
Сука я па-чартоўску заб'ю цябе, шлюха! – Bitch! I'm going to fucking kill you, whore! (Belarusian)
s'il vous plaît- please (French)
Voulez-vous me voir tes seins?- Will you let me see you breasts? (French)
Es ist so heiß, wenn Sie der einzige verantwortlich sein zu versuchen. – It's so hot when you try to be the only responsible one. (German)
Вернитесь в коленях, мой подсолнух –Return to my lap, my sunflower (Russian)
Lydia liebt Italien und Italien liebt dich, so mit uns oder sonst kommen – Lydia loves Italy, and Italy loves you, so come with us or else (German)
Ja- yes (German)
Nashi- no (Japanese)
Nyet- no (Russian)