Disclaimer: I'd love to own Grim. Just…I'll put up the starting bid whenever M.A. decides to put him on eBay.
I'll keep this rant as short as possible.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
There, short enough. To the rest of the author's note: This oneshot centers on Mandy's birthday and includes some...weird...romance. It's really not romance, I guess…whatever. Even if you don't like where it's going at first, please read it to the end and then you can flame me. I've always kind of disliked how authors tend to make the characters older in their fics where romance is involved, so in this fic Mandy is turning eleven, as close to her show age as possible. I probably could have done better if I more thoroughly edited it, but for the time being this is the best my little seventh-grade mind can come up with.
Enjoy! And make sure you give me some cyber-cake for my birthday! Or PIE, I likes pie too! Teeheehee.
P a r a l l a x
LIPS
The skull had been sitting lodged against the pillow, snoring in a tranquil pink bed. It was propped up at a slight angle with the blanket cozily reaching its chin. Just because you were Death didn't mean you couldn't have comfortable lodgings, did it not? Presently it jolted awake.
A block down the street in an idiot boy's house, its hands extended to rub eye sockets but found emptiness. The sky outside was breaking blue at last, casting out wads of clouds and sunlight. Birds twittered somewhere off in the distance and the skull's lip curled in disgust. So cheery.
Grim bounced his skull around to face the other direction. In sleep, the girl beside him breathed silently and seldom moved. Mandy had always made Grim take the window side of the bed. It was uniform and custom by now and he'd made no complaints. She always slept on her back, arms laid by her sides, and never provided him with any bedtime conversation. He'd expected no less, really.
He remembered the day in a subdued flash and hesitantly used the top of his skull to tap Mandy's arm. He couldn't be sure whether the girl wanted to be woken up or not, but he decided to take a chance in case she did. "Mandy. Mandy, wake up."
Black eyes shot wide open before Grim could pull his head away. Without turning on her side, the girl reached for and grasped Grim's skull, squeezing until he thought his head might explode.
Pain and pressure flooded him as everything temporarily turned black, and he suspected he was screaming. Mandy removed her hand painstakingly, traces of her body warmth still left on his bones. By the time Grim's vision cleared of stars, she was facing him, narrowed eyes not three inches from his. He yelped in surprise.
"This better be good, bonehead."
"Uh… I tought you'd like to wake up because…it's…" Grim stuttered. In Billy's house his body fidgeted and wrung its bony hands. Last time he'd woken her up before she was ready, she had ground his bones to ashes in the smoothie blender. But Mandy was original, she'd surely come up with a new way to torture him each time…
Her voice darkened, lips twisting into a scowl. "I don't need you to tell me. And never wake me up while I'm sleeping, idiot. It could get ugly." The girl turned on her back again and closed her eyes. As if on cue, a loud knock came from downstairs, accompanied by an excited yell.
"I'M HERE!"
"Billy…" Mandy and Grim muttered simultaneously. Mandy stepped out of the bed, glaring at the reaper's skull. "Pinheads. Both of you" She stalked out of Grim's line of vision and pulled her pink nightgown over her head, changing it for her signature pink dress. Next she combed her hair into horns and slathered some mousse on the blonde locks leisurely. It was only Billy, after all. Grim's skull bounced along behind her as she finally exited the room and descended the staircase.
Surprisingly, Billy hadn't already knocked the front door over yet in an attempt to get in. Mandy pulled it open, frowning. She barely found a second to blink before the boy threw himself at her, knocking them both onto the floor. "MANDDDYYY!"
Grim spotted his body still at the doorstep and went to attach his skull to body. After he was reacquainted with his familiar bones, he glanced at the heap of kids on the floor, Billy all but on top of Mandy. Ugh…what horrible images that brought to Grim's mind.
A javelin of evil seemed to be piercing through Billy's head. Oh, right, that was Mandy's stare. She lay on the ground under him, twitching in rage. A well delivered punch landed on Billy's nose, effectively pushing him off her. However, the redhead predictably bounced back up, to which Mandy socked him again. His nose, now bruised, vibrated up and down with the impact. "MANDY! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!"
She punched him once more for good luck, luck she didn't quite believe in. "I know. Now run along and play in traffic, Billy."
"But Mandy—I wanna play with you!"
Disgusting, the girl thought on cue. "Too bad, you pathetic pile of dumb. Leave, William."
The reaper blinked, watching the scene from the threshold. Mandy never bothered to use Billy's real name, just as she never allowed any of them to use hers. Surprising, to say the least.
Billy grinned. "That's my name!"
"Yup. Now go away, and take the bag of bones with you. I'm busy."
"Too bus-ee to play with me?"
"Unfortunately," the girl scoffed sarcastically. "I suggest you and Grim leave if you want to stay un-maimed and alive."
Her crisp tone had no effect on him. "But don't you want to see the surprise party I'm having for you?" Billy asked.
He gasped and covered his mouth, eyes darting. Predictable, Grim thought with a sneer. "I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT!"
Mandy blinked unrevealing eyes. "Surprise party, eh doofus?" She turned to face Grim. "And do you know anything about this party, Grim?"
"Uh…no."
"Yeah you did! You planned it with me." Billy said, hands on hips and chest stuck out. "Mm-hmm, you said to me that Mandy would be so surprised and happy. You said we'd 'kick her with kindness!'"
"You said dat, doofus. And ya didn't even get de expression right. It's 'Kill her with kindness.'" Grim said. He frowned and stroked his robe.
Billy's eyes expanded to nearly fill his face. "GRIM! You can't kill Mandy! She's my friend!"
"Shut up, Billy! I knew you'd give it away." Grim scolded, wondering why he'd agreed to collaborate with the boy on something as trivial as a birthday party. It was a hasty decision, and he'd made it mostly to stop Billy from bugging him. It didn't seem quite as inconvenient then to invite multitudes of people from the mortal realm as well as the Underworld…
"You shut up, boney!"
"No, you shut up, big nose!"
"Shaddap, Grim!"
"Shut up yourself!"
"Shut up!"
"Shut up!"
"Yo mama!"
Neither of them noticed Mandy, standing rigid like a volcano about to erupt as the two argued in the backdrop. And erupt she did, but with considerably worse results than a bit of molten lava and ash spreading out across a jittery horizon.
"ENOUGH!"
Surprised by one of the few times the girl raised her voice above a sarcastic drone, Billy and Grim jumped and twisted around to look at Mandy. Grim regretted the move; she was radiating such a dark aura that she was liable to rip reality apart again.
"Both you cretins shut up, and get out of my house," she threatened, baring her upper teeth in a snarl. Notwithstanding her stumpy stature, she somehow towered over boy and skeleton in a malicious stance. A flash of red illuminated her cheeks for a moment, but even on the verge of exploding she kept her anger on a leash. Winding it up, readying it to be let loose. Satan seemed to possess the girl, strengthening and maddening her.
Only Billy had the audacity to prompt Mandy again, and only gently. "Aw, but don't you want to celebr—"
"No," Mandy said, hissing the word.
"Well, that's too ba—PLAN B, GRIM!"
The skeleton sighed. He'd been dreading this moment since Billy had told him what they would have to do. The idea was half-genius, and half-suicide attempt.
He whipped his scythe out from behind his back and blasted a supernatural lightning bolt at Mandy. It caught the surprised girl right in the chest. A black net crackling with dark energy formed around her, binding her arms to her sides and sealing over her mouth—the sorts fishermen used, only strengthened and infused with Hades' touch. Honestly, Grim wasn't sure whether the net would be able to contain her. The girl was possessed with dark forces and rage by now, and could very well break through it, evil undoing evil and all.
Against the odds, Mandy stopped struggling and simply glared unnervingly at Grim as he picked her up and led the way out of her house. Billy followed him, grinning.
"That went well, Grim! Now we gotta surprise her at my house! Oohboy that'll be fun!" the boy shouted, oblivious as usual.
A strip of porous black material was pressed firmly against Mandy's mouth, allowing her to breathe but restricting speech. She contented herself with staring long and hard at her slave's face, finding it despicable he had lowered himself to all but abducting her. She could feel his cold bones through the net, supporting and chilling her.
Birthday. Oh yes, it was real, she fumed. Real. Official. And kind of horrible too.
"Do we let her go yet?" Grim asked tonelessly, stopping in front of Billy's house.
"No, we trap her in first," the boy giggled, in full propinquity of Mandy. He threw open his front door and stuck his head in to the guests. "SHE'S HERE!"
Mandy heard all the clatter and clamor from inside and briefly wondered how many people the idiots had invited. This was followed by an intense urge to clobber Grim and Billy over the head.
Grim put her down on Billy's carpet and closed the door after stepping in himself. With a snap, the net around Mandy vanished.
She recognized some faces and had never seen others. With a sickening pang, she saw Irwin, Mindy, and Sperg scattered throughout the room and that revolting Fred Fredburger indulging in a plate of nachos at a snack table. Billy's mom stood in the corner of the room, shaking nervously at the sight of so many unwelcome guests in her house. Harold was making small talk (i.e., flirting) with Eris while Hoss Delgado and the aforementioned Gladys glared from a distance. And of course, trademark disgusting, freakish monsters from the Underworld patrolled around, bearing tentacles, donkey tails, and other oddities. To her slight amusement, Mandy noticed a couple of them spawned colorful cone-shaped birthday hats.
A huge banner swept across the living room, reading 'HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY!' with a poorly-drawn picture of a cake was painted on it. As soon as the partygoers spotted her, they turned around (well, most of them, if you weren't busy staring at a paint splash on the wall resembling frozen yogurt like a certain elephant-like creature was) and shouted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MANDY!"
Her hands automatically went to cover her ears from the racket. None of them had really expected her to smile or act graciously, so she didn't let them down. When she removed her hands from her ears and opened her eyes again, there was Nergal Sr. in front of her, apparently having been invited from his home in the center of the earth. The ebony-hued demon pranced around joyously, blinking beady green eyes. "Doesn't it feel nice to have friends and parties? Happy birthday! Friends, friends, friends, friends! You're my friend, aren't you, little girl? Yippee!"
She turned around, scowling, and met Irwin face to face. The boy smiled and extended a palm. Nestled in his sweaty hand was an obviously homemade picture frame, consisting of a couple pieces of wood stuck together with Krafty Glue. In the picture slot already was a photo of…Irwin…use your imagination. "So you'll never have to be without me," he insisted. Mandy slapped him on cue and headed for Grim and Billy.
"Right, stupid. What the heck is all this?" She addressed Grim as well as Billy, tone sharp and deflating the tension from the air like a needle to a balloon.
"It's your birthday party!" Billy responded cheerfully. "Wait until you see your cake!"
"Uh—no. I'm outta here." Detached already, Mandy reached a hand out towards the door.
Grim intervened, blocking her way. "Mandy, no! Ya can't let all me careful plannin' and invitations go to waste!"
"Sure can," she said. "So you did work with Billy."
"Uh…well, maybe a little…"
"Who 'carefully planned' the party? Who invited all those monsters from the Underworld then?" She stared him down, arms crossed and foot tapping a message in Morse code. "I'd say you participated more than a little, Grim."
"I—"
Lowering her voice, Mandy whispered to Billy and Grim, "You two are dead meat when all of this is settled." Her eyes narrowed a little bit more on each word.
She could smell the two perspiring like a shark might smell blood in the water. How Grim could sweat, she didn't know, but her stare was obviously having an effect. "But, Mandy—!"
How dare the peon interject. "Grim, when we get home, you are going to give me a manicure, do my math homework, scrub the toilet, and when all that is done, I will beat you senseless. I'm leaving."
"Wha—"
"I'm going now." She pivoted on her heel and opened the door.
"But you gotta see the cake!" Billy piped up from where he'd quietly been watching the two argue as if following a drama. He turned Mandy around and grabbed her hands awkwardly. She winced at his hot, sticky palms and stepped back as the boy's eyes filled with tears. "I spent a long, longs time making you it! And I even got you a—a—" He gave a loud snort as a few bored guests looked on, "—a present!"
Mandy eyed Grim conspicuously. "Send him to another dimension, bonehead. Now."
The skeleton fidgeted, hating these moments when she put him on the spot. "Uh, well, I'd love ta on any other day, but—"
An eyebrow was raised. "But?"
"But…but…well, de ting is, Billy and I put a lotta effort in de cake…and de party…" Grim floundered.
He saw her stare him down long and hard. "Pathetic," she declared, and turned her back on the reaper. From behind, Billy called her name and something about different frostings, but she walked away from it.
Grim watched the blonde go deeper into the heart of the party. She was stopped twice, once by Mindy and once by Nigel Planter. Both were disposed of quickly as Mandy disappeared from his line of sight. She could have been heading to the basement, Billy's room where the scythe lay, or any number of possibilities. Grim hadn't a clue what she was going to do, but he suspected she'd find a way to make the universe implode if he left her alone...
He sighed. He'd better go after her.
-
Mandy picked her way through the mulish crowd in Billy's house. Honestly, the sheer number of people (and monsters) Grim and Billy had invited was as impressive as it was ridiculous. She swatted a bat from her face and searched for an empty room where she could collect her thoughts.
A hiccupping, swaying green form appeared in front of her. She recognized the Boogie Man immediately through critiquing eyes. "Hey, kid! What's all the fuss about in this house?" he slurred. Inferior weakling.
His breath reeked not of alcohol, but something equally as revolting. Mandy pointed to a blue and white can in the creature's hand. "What's that crud you're drinking?"
He lifted the can to his face, burping. "Red Blud. I think Dracula was drinking it. Think he said it ain't no good for non-vamps but I took a few cans anyways."
By the time Grim's drunken rival gave his excuse, Mandy had skirted past him. She really wasn't in the mood for this sort of drivel. The hallway she walked was relatively quiet save for the fluctuating echoes of the party from other rooms, but it was a good enough place for her to think in. She relaxed her pace gradually, not bothering to peer in each room she passed any longer.
An ink-hued tentacle reached out from a nearby closet and wrapped around her abdomen. It yanked the closet door open wide enough to pull the girl in, then slammed the door shut, closing off all light. Mandy made sure not to betray a sound of surprise.
She found herself face-to-face with a malevolent pair of glowing lime green glasses. The thing was chuckling softly, showing off pointed green teeth. Everything else was cut off by the darkness, and the closet was suspiciously empty of clothing and boxes. "Junior," she offered blandly.
The shapeshifter smiled cruelly at her, green teeth fitting into one another perfectly. He'd slid into his true form while in the gloom of the tight area. "Happy birthday, Mandy." Junior laughed again, the sound harsh in the echoing confines of the closet. There was something pointedly hypocritical about those three words, the way he said them.
The air seemed to sweat, and the sensation of a slimy tentacle around her waist was becoming uncomfortable. Mandy looked Junior in his spectacled eyes, daring him to glance away. She had a feeling that even through the oppressive darkness, he could see her eyes perfectly well. "What do you want, cretin?"
"Still as sharp as ever, Mandy," the half-mutant noted. "And what makes you think I'd want anything but to wish you a happy birthday?" Junior squeezed the girl's abdomen sharply. To his disappointment, Mandy barely reacted.
She ignored this, clenching her fists as the tentacle gripping her became warmer. "I've got people to dominate, Junior. Whether it's my birthday or not."
"Usually mortals are happy when it's their birthday."
"Not this mortal. Now let me go, I've been too nice to sit this through so far," she threatened.
Her sharp tone was wasted. Leisurely, as if the whole world had made it a point to listen, Junior replied, "Don't worry, Mandy. I won't keep you long. I just thought you'd like to have your—" his grin widened, "—birthday present."
For a moment, every muscle in Mandy's body tensed in dry apprehension, then the tentacle across her waist jerked her forward to meet hot, parched lips. She sputtered awkwardly as her brain caught up to the sensation, like licking a piece of warm sandpaper. Layers of heat and humidity seemed to press against her pale skin as moisture settled on her exposed arms and thighs—sweat, dew, and all the clumsy accidents in between, contrasting with the mutant's waterless lips. How…filthy. Outrageous. What gave the son of Nergal, wretched creature from the earth's core, permission to exchange saliva with her? She'd have to dispose of the moron quickly.
Junior seemed to not feel the uncomfortable warmth in the stuffy closet, and found himself caught up in lust, tongue prodding her lips gently. He'd never thought a mortal could evoke such…barbaric feelings in him. His lips stung in pain, as if they were being hacked at with a sword, but it was a bittersweet feeling. In the dark, he couldn't see Mandy's expression, but felt her lips curl in disgust against his.
On instinct, Mandy moved her hands to push herself away from Junior's chest, but the demon extended two more tentacles and wrapped them around her wrists. The sounds of the party were muffled from Mandy's ears. Only her furious heartbeat seemed to justify the whirlwind of hatred that spun through her, present in sweat and saliva and in every restraining black tentacle pressing her to Junior…
-
Grim frowned. She'd gone down this hallway as a tipsy Boogie Man had informed him, but she was nowhere to be found. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to trust his old school bully, much less when the creature was inebriated.
He paused, halfway down the corridor. From somewhere was the sound of fighting, or of someone getting beaten up. Grim decided he'd best leave them to their business before he got pulled into the game as well. Creatures of the Underworld were always dueling each other out, there was nothing strange about it. But before he could retreat, Mandy stepped out from one of Billy's empty closets, shutting the door firmly behind her. Not yet seeing Grim, her eyes were trained on the floor as she pressed a hand to her lips.
"M-Mandy?"
She lifted her head, and to Grim's astonishment, an evil smirk was on her face. Absentmindedly, she dropped her fingers from her lips. "Bonehead."
The skeleton was too surprised to be offended as the girl passed him. The smell of perspiration was strong on her, and her hair was messed up from its usual devil-horn style. Her chest rose and fell quicker than normal, and she spawned a few bruises on her arms and legs. "Mandy? Are ya okay?"
When Mandy turned around, she was scowling once again. "I'm fine." The declaration was short and to the point, but still smooth and feminine. "Now, why don't you show me that cake Billy was rambling about?"
She swept down the hallway without another word.
-
The half-demon emerged from the closets some time later, resuming his human form. He winced as he trudged down the hallway, eyeing several rings of bruises and cuts adorning his limbs. Yet he smiled and stifled a hand to his mouth too, thinking of what he'd stolen from Mandy. And of course, taking the first kiss from one of the most manipulative, evil human girls on the planet was no small deed.
He removed his hand from bloody, cut lips. Yes, it was worth it.
"I have nothing to give as a gift but I promise to always remember your birthday."
-Victor Ukegbu Ogbonnaya
End