Chapter 1

WARNING: This is a very angst-filled story! I hope you'll read it anyway! The epidemic hasn't happened and Elizabeth is new in town. She was never raped. Other than the epidemic, the Scrubs is accurate. It should be a nice break from the bullshit storylines that have been thrust upon Lucky and Elizabeth lately.

July 2, 2007

Robin Scorpio paced the length of the living room of her two-story flat, remembering back to when she had compared her boyfriend, Patrick Drake, to her father a year and a half ago. She had accused him of digging a path in the carpet. He had paced and she had teased; it was ironic that, now, she was the one pacing and he would be the one making accusations.

The hem of her cucumber skirt brushed against the colorless couch. On each side of it, there were two loveseats. It had been a joint decision to buy the pieces of furniture and they had shared the apartment for four months now. The maroon-and-forest-green stitched rug had been Robin's idea, her justification being that it brightened up the room and set a mood for the apartment. She had even convinced Patrick to paint the kitchen butter-yellow when she was away in Paris for a meeting with an old friend, Evan.

Her friend had been interested in her research and, without any cajoling on her part, save her straight-to-the-point exterior and the stubborn set of her chin, he had agreed to fund all of her research for as long as necessary. The idea still threw her, that he trusted her so much with something like that when, while he had been studying brain abnormalities his entire adult life-he was twenty years older than she-Robin had just began to tackle over the last eight years of her medical career. She loved to learn and, while she had refused to step down, she would, begrudgingly, admit when she was wrong if there were facts to back it up. Robin hadn't discussed this with Patrick, but it wasn't what had her so frazzled. She had a feeling that, while he might back her up when it came to the funding of her research, there was no guarantee that what she had found out today would settle well with him. For all she knew, he would walk right back out the door.

She glanced over at the clock hanging in front of the archway leading to the aforementioned yellow kitchen. He should have been here by now! She had called him thirty minutes ago. Didn't he understand the importance of this conversation? She hadn't exactly been hysterical when she had talked to him, but hadn't he been the one to call her transparent? Shouldn't he have been able to hear the difference in her tone or at least recognize the desperation that clung to her words? Where was he?

Dragging a hand through her mess of tapioca curls, she contemplated how she would go about telling him. She had tried everything she could think of to keep him comfortable in their relationship, because he was still so new to it. They had only become official after Patrick cut his hand in the OR while operating on an end-stage AIDS patient. His exposure had more than scared him; it had changed his entire outlook on life. The fact that Robin not only had HIV-practically undetectable as it was-but also that she didn't go running in the other direction apparently made her trustworthy. A few months ago, he had told her that he loved her and she, determined to fight her feelings, finally gave in and reciprocated. It was easy to throw it all out there when you thought you might have contracted some dangerous, life-threatening disease like HIV or AIDS. Well, his results had come in, his six-month test, and he was negative. He had insisted on them checking again, so they had. Still negative. She had expressed her fears to him before he received the tests in the mail. Pouring her heart out to him, teary-eyed and all, she had explained that she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, certain that he would return to his old ways and just consider her "some girl" he had had this momentary lapse of judgment with. Oh God, she couldn't tell him this!

Breathe in and out. Wasn't that what the experts said? She, in all her years as a doctor, had never found this to be all that relaxing. Oh well, she would forget what she knew and try. Freaking out was not acceptable. This demanded attention; she was terrified she would make the wrong decision. She needed to exhaust every possibility. She needed to stay rational and not expect too much. Right, because she never got her hopes up, she thought bitterly. If she hadn't been such a goddamn optimist, she would have stopped herself from falling in love with Patrick in the first place. Over the last thirteen months, Patrick had done almost a complete one-eighty; his fears of crashing and burning like his father kept him from changing completely. She didn't want him to change, loved him for who he was, and she figured that that was why she was so was incapable of just letting the cards fall where they may.

"What's the big emergency?" Patrick wondered, traipsing into the apartment as if to show how completely clueless he was about what Robin was about to tell him. His entire world was about to be turned upside down, just as hers had been. He would never understand. How would he react? They would fight. They always fought, but this time it would be incredible. He would accuse her of things. He would leave her. She was really getting ahead of herself. He had been the one to encourage her to do this, but then he hadn't exactly stepped up to get things in motion, had he?

"Sit down." Robin reached for his hands and he didn't pull away. At least he wasn't dreading the news. He had no idea there was news. She wanted to scream. She would just have to stay calm. It wouldn't do either of them any good to get all hysterical. She needed him to see reason and not let him think that she had signed him up for this without his consent. Didn't he think she was scared?

"Let me guess. You're having a spat with Carly and have been kicked out of the Metro Court. Now, you're in need of my mad culinary skills." Patrick traced his thumb over Robin's tightly drawn lips as he spoke. "You're scaring me, Scorpio." He admitted a moment later.

"Oh, just give me five minutes." Robin muttered. "Can I just say that I had no intention of...it wasn't my...I didn't plan this." She rambled, unsure how to get the words out. So much needed to be said, but she was already messing it up!

"What's going on in that mind of yours?" Patrick wanted to know, placing his hands over hers. His touch jarred Robin and she stood up, jerking her hands away so that she could return to her semi-calming act of pacing. Patrick raised an eyebrow at her, but she never turned to face him so she didn't see the amusement in his gaze. If only he knew what he was getting himself into.

She never should have kissed him, she decided. That had been her first mistake. This wasn't all due to that first kiss, but she blamed herself nonetheless. That kiss had led to so much more and now she was all alone. He would never accept this. She suddenly wished he wasn't here with her now. It was only a matter of time. As soon as she said the words, he would walk out and her fear would morph into a horrible reality to which there was no escape.

"Robin." Patrick'stone was low, barely above a whisper. He was clearly distressed by her behavior; at least he wasn't completely oblivious to the growing tension around them. Don't leave me, Robin silently begged. I can't take it if you do. I didn't do this on purpose. Please don't give up. I can't lose you. "You won't lose me." She hadn't meant to say it aloud. She hadn't realized she had until his assurance passed through the pounding in her head.

"I might." Gnawing on her lip, Robin folded her arms across her chest, looking toward the ceiling as if in question. God had no answers for her, so she decided to close her eyes and fight back the urge to cry. If she could just get the words out, then she would be able to breathe. She turned to Patrick who was literally on the edge of his seat, his fingers running over the rough denim of his blue jeans as he waited impatiently for her answer. Like a child; he was just like a child. "I"m pregnant." Even as she said it, she heard the defensiveness in her words. She was already apologizing for it. She brought her right hand to cover her forehead, reminding herself to breathe. This baby needed her to keep from falling apart. He deserved a good life. It was then that she truly felt alone; it was then that the walls she hid behind were shattered, and she allowed Patrick to see her true vulnerability.

"Pregnant?" He didn't sound pleased, but he wasn't blaming her for anything. Not yet. It would happen. It always did. He sat there, not making any move to touch her or offer her any kind of support. What had she been expecting? He was still Patrick Drake. No matter how many times he declared his feelings, no matter that he had managed to accept the idea of her living with him-none of it mattered now. This was a big deal no matter which way you sliced it. A baby required a lot of effort, a lot of attention. He would have to give up a part of himself if he planned on being the father his had never been for him. Oh God, she hadn't considered how this would damage his relationship with Noah. It wasn't as if she could have prevented it! "We used protection." And this was the Patrick Drake that she knew and loved.

"Nothing is completely foolproof." Robin informed him, swallowing tears. She hadn't known she was crying, had no way of knowing how long she had been doing so. Patrick wasn't interested in her pain. He was more worried about how his life would be affected. She needed to sit down-it'd be best to stop pacing-but she didn't want to sit next to him either.

"That's all you have to say?" Patrick's voice grew wild and angry, but Robin refused to meet his eyes. Let him have his temper tantrum about how unfair life was, about how much he hated her approach to what he was doing. She had done all the crying and breaking that she could stand for one day. Motherhood wasn't quite as scary when it was just a goal. This was reality; there was no way to go back because the situation seemed too risky. She had talked with Kelly and started the proper drug procedures to ensure that her condition wouldn't interfere with the health of their baby. She would tell him this just as soon as he quit snapping at her. She decided to wait him out, but he said nothing more.

"Am I not handling this how I should be? Do you think I didn't freak out, that I didn't demand a second test when Kelly told me?" Robin shrieked at him, ready to wrap her hands around his neck and squeeze. She sat down though her arms were flying out in front of her for emphasis. "I'm just as scared as you are!" She insisted, bending in half as her tears multiplied. She clenched her left hand into a fist and brought it to her mouth, trying to maintain some kind of control over the situation.

"I'm not scared. I'm surprised." Patrick clarified, clearly irritated that she would assume he, the big, bad doctor, might ever come in contact with inconvenient emotions. She thought she felt his hand on the small of her back, but she could have imagined it.

"You're surprised. Anything else?" Robin pressed, not sure what she wanted him to say. Marriage was ridiculous and unlikely. There was still so much to discover about the other; she wouldn't turn their baby into an excuse to get married. If, and only if, Patrick ever got up the courage to ask her, Robin wanted it to be because he loved her, not as a solution to a problem.

"What do you want from me?" Patrick shot back. "I don't know how I feel about any of this." He explained, jamming his hand into his chocolate brown hair as if that would somehow force everything to make sense.

"You don't want this baby, do you?" Robin's voice broke as she asked this, not completely aware of what she had just said. Her words were so cruel, so patronizing.

"You do?" Patrick inquired incredulously and Robin decided that she had been right; Patrick was going to do his best to live below her expectations.

"I know that abortion is out of the question." Robin clarified. "And I don't think I could give up our baby after holding him or her in my arms." She paused before continuing, "That"s not to say that I have any idea what I'm doing. My parents are far from role models and I don't like how Mac and Felicia raised my cousins."

"Hey." Patrick wrapped her in his arms turning her face so that her mouth was buried in the crook of his shoulder. He pressed softly against her stomach, proving to himself that she was less than three months along since he couldn't feel a determinate bump under his fingertips.

"I know you think I did this to trap you and I don't blame you for that." Robin mumbled into his purple button-down. "I was so afraid to tell you. You always said I was so strong, but I'm a coward!" Robin cried, blinking furiously as if she felt that crying was an absurd reaction.

"You aren't a coward. Let me tell you, if I were you and you were me, I wouldn't have been able to tell you that I was pregnant. Or…Okay so that didn't come out how I wanted it to." Patrick chuckled lightly. Robin twisted against him, tilting her head back so that she could see his eyes.

"I don't want to be your obligation." Robin whispered.

"I won't lie and say that I ever thought this could happen. I mean, yes, I'm aware of how babies are made before you start in on that lecture, Dr. Scorpio; I just never thought this could happen to me. God, I make it sound like-" Patrick scolded himself.

"It's okay." Robin countered, leaning into him. She needed his closeness, needed his support. Most of all, she needed to know that he was just as scared as she was.

"I'm not in any hurry to lose you. Let's take this one day at a time." Patrick informed Robin, kissing her hair.

She lifted her head and their gazes locked, her eyes slightly narrowed. "That's the most adult thing you've said. So rational." Robin complimented. Two seconds later she was in tears again. Patrick just held her to him and rocked her, wondering if he was mature enough to even fully understand this new responsibility.

When it was time for bed, Robin didn't even put up a fight. She was exhausted. Patrick fought sleep as long as humanly possible, so focused on her sleeping form that nothing else mattered, not even his own comfort. She rolled over onto his arm and, of course, it immediately went numb. He didn't try to move her, afraid he would wake her if he did. As difficult as it had been to hear the news, he knew it had been ten times worse for Robin to tell him. He wasn't comfortable with this newest development, so he didn't even try to lie to himself. Robin had said that she didn't want to be his obligation; it was his responsibility to make sure that she never felt like one, not her or the baby.