Erin sighed as she looked at the spot where she traditionally had a tree. This year, she just didn't seem to have the Christmas spirit, and so, she hadn't put up a tree. What would the point be? There wouldn't be any presents, or people to decorate it. She had returned from the dead, and unlike Emily Prentiss, her return had not been welcomed with open arms. Her children still were not speaking to her; Dave was distant, hardly returning her calls; and she felt like she just didn't fit in anywhere any longer.
Letting out another sigh, she curled up in the corner of her sofa, turning on the television and flipping through the channels until she landed on Home Alone 2. Her son had always loved the movie, so she stopped and watched, tearing up when she heard the song "All Alone On Christmas." A deep well of sadness opened up beneath her and she gave into her tears, letting them slip down her face as she turned the set off, pulling down her blanket and covering herself up as she closed her eyes.
She had just gotten comfortable with her sorrow when she heard a knocking at her front door. Erin didn't really want to get up, didn't want to see who was coming to see her on Christmas Eve, but she forced herself to throw off the blanket and pad over to the door. Peeking out the peephole, all she could see were the branches of a pine tree.
"Erin, it's cold out here. Will you let us in?"
Blinking, she tried to comprehend the fact that Penelope Garcia was giving her orders. She knew enough to give in and unlocked the door before opening it. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, unable to meet the woman's eyes.
"Bringing you the holiday cheer that you so deservedly need." Stepping forward, she hugged Erin tightly before turning and motioning to whoever was carrying the tree. "All right, Sugar, the tree goes in the living room, southwest corner. Remember, I showed you the pictures. Make sure you help him get it right, my sweet genius."
Derek smiled at her as he maneuvered the tree past her. Spencer was bringing up the rear, holding onto the trunk and shaking his head slightly. "Good evening, ma'am," he said softly as he passed her by and she nodded in return.
Turning to Penelope, she frowned a little. Penelope just widened her smile and slung an arm around her waist, holding on to her tightly. "Rossi let it slip that you would be alone this Christmas, that he wouldn't be celebrating with you. I did something to fix that. No one should be alone on Christmas."
Again, Erin teared up, and she looked down at the floor, trying to will the tears away. Penelope's arm squeezed her waist and she smiled a little. "You didn't have to do this."
"Yes, I did. I reacted badly to the news of your return. With Em, it was easy to accept, since she hit the ground running. You, though, you just reappeared, and I couldn't deal with it. I'm sorry."
The younger woman turned into her, her head coming to rest on Erin's shoulder. "It's all right," she murmured, tugging lightly on a lock of blonde hair. Looking up, she saw Agent Jareau standing there, an awkward smile on her face. "Hello, Jennifer."
"Erin. Hi. Um, I brought the eggnog. Non-alcoholic, of course!" The woman was visibly flustered, and Erin tried to smile kindly at her. "Where's the kitchen? I should probably stick it in the fridge until we're ready for it."
"Through that door there," she replied as she pointed to her left. The woman quickly disappeared, tugging Aaron behind her. He gave her a warm smile and wave and she laughed lightly, letting her head come to rest against Penelope's. "So, any other visitors out there?" she asked the younger woman.
"Well, there's me."
Erin suppressed her gasp as Alex stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind her. While she was glad to see the woman there, she was disappointed that David had chosen not to come with the group. Alex gave her a tender smile before holding out her arm.
Erin hugged Penelope close for a moment longer before letting go of her and drifting into Alex's embrace. "Hey."
"Hey." That one word was soft and trembling, and Erin rubbed her hand up and down Alex's side. "I got shot."
"I know, sweetheart." The endearment just slipped off her lips without warning, and Alex slumped against her. She knew in that moment the woman was crying, and she hurriedly led her into the living room, pulling her down onto the sofa next to her.
Alex turned her face into Erin's shoulder as she cried. "All I could think of was not crying in that moment. The others don't know this side of me," she murmured as Erin pulled her close.
"I know, I know. Hush, Alex, I have you." She pulled the blanket over their laps and ran her fingers through the woman's dark hair as she watched Spencer and Derek put up the tree. "So, I have a tree, but the decorations are still in the attic."
"I have that covered, Erin!" Penelope sang out as she pranced into the room, her hands holding six shopping bags. "Hotch and Jayje are getting the rest from their car. Ugh, you guys still don't have the tree up?"
"Baby Girl, it's a huge tree. I really don't want to wreck anything in this room, and face the wrath of both you and Erin. I rather like my skin where it is." Derek flashed her a toothy smile and she nodded to him, arching her eyebrow delicately. "Now, if you want to spot us, I'm sure we can get everything straightened away."
Penelope made her way over to their sides and Erin watched them interact. Sighing a little, she snuggled Alex closer to her, needing the contact with someone, anyone, at that moment. "He's an ass," the woman whispered in her ear.
"And yet, I love him so."
"How?"
"He chased away the shadows of my life." It was her turn to start crying, and she closed her eyes as she felt Alex's hand cup her face, wiping away the tears with her thumb. "The shadows have returned, of course, now that he's gone. Oh god, I miss him."
Alex nodded and held her close. Erin opened her eyes once more and focused on the tree. Penelope was grinning at her as Derek and Spencer were stringing the lights around the branches, and she tried to smile back. "I bought white lights for the tree, I think that will go best with your color scheme."
Erin nodded and then cleared her throat. "How do you know so much about my home?"
"I may have twisted your children's arms until they gave up the goods. They'll be by tomorrow, for Christmas proper. I told them that tonight was our night with you."
Penelope scampered over to her side and kissed her cheek gently. "You didn't have to do all this, you know."
"You're special, Erin. Even if a certain Italian rat fink doesn't realize that yet. He needs to get over his moping and realize that you were in hiding to protect all of us, just like Emily." Standing back up, she began to take out the boxes of ornaments from the shopping bags and handed them out for the others to hang. "I didn't think tinsel would be that great of an idea, what with your cat."
"No, Tabitha brought our cat to her father's house," she replied, only to hear a plaintive mew come from somewhere in the room. "Penny?"
"Christmas miracles are my specialty. Athena is home where she belongs."
Erin shook her head so as not to cry once more. Alex pushed away from her and stood up, going over to the carrier that either Jennifer or Aaron had brought in and bringing it over to her. Erin unzipped the front and Athena jumped out, nuzzling her face against Erin's. "Thank you," she whispered as she stroked her cat.
"Oh, you are most welcome," Penelope replied before picking up more ornaments and hanging them on the tree. Then, she gave Erin a secretive wink and tugged something out of her pocket, hanging it on the lintel of her living room door. Peeking behind her, she saw that it was a sprig of mistletoe, and she shook her head lightly before looking to the tree once more.
Somehow, when she hadn't been looking, presents had appeared beneath it, and Alex was giving her a shy smile. "Presents?"
"Of course, Erin. The holiday isn't complete without gifts. Penelope gave us a list to choose from," Alex replied, resting her head back on Erin's shoulder. "James is picking me up later on, but the others are leaving soon. I, I need to talk."
"Of course." Erin settled back in the couch and watched the others work, easy smiles on their faces. Jennifer laughed at something Aaron said and gave him a soft pat on the back. If she didn't know better, there was something more than friendship there, and she wondered when they would make things official. "That looks amazing. Thank you."
"It was our pleasure, Erin," Derek replied, holding his hand out to her. She clasped it gently and he pulled her to her feet, bringing her in close. "Does your heart still belong to Rossi?" he whispered in her ear.
"Yes, why?" she asked, feeling her brow furrow in confusion.
"Do you trust me?" She nodded and felt him maneuver her over to the doorway, stopping them beneath the mistletoe. "Merry Christmas, Erin." He lowered his lips to hers, drawing her close as he deepened the kiss, one hand slipping to the small of her back, the other cupping her head. Sighing, she gave herself over to the kiss, melting into his embrace.
She hadn't been kissed like that in months, and she realized just how much she missed the physical intimacy. And so, she took the lead, hungrily kissing him back, pressing her body flush to his. It took the familiar sound of David clearing his throat to cause her to break the kiss, and she glanced over at the front door, seeing him standing there. "David," she gasped out, her hands tightening around Derek's upper arms. "I thought, but, Penelope said that you weren't coming tonight."
"I changed my mind. I can see that you did, too."
She winced and shook her head. "No. I still love you. Desperately." He shook his head and snorted, and the first awful tears began to roll down her cheeks. "David…"
"No, I'm sorry I came." He turned on his heel, and Derek gently pushed her away, into Alex's waiting arms. The woman led her over to the sofa, and she and Penelope enveloped her in a tight huddle as she listened to the muffled sounds of Derek and David arguing.
"Der was just trying to make him jealous, to remind him of what he was letting slip through his fingers," Penelope whispered in her ear, and she nodded a little, her sobs never lessening. "Shh, honey."
Erin tried to gain control of her emotions, but it was a losing battle. The longer the two men argued, the more disconsolate she felt, and it began to feel like this was worse than celebrating the holiday alone. "Christmas used to be my favorite holiday, you know," she murmured, starting a little when she felt soft lips caress her cheek.
"I remember, Erin," Alex replied lowly. A fleeting smile ghosted across Erin's lips as she rubbed her cheek against Penelope's shoulder. "And I still have the necklace you bought me, before the whole Amerithrax debacle. You said that you had seen it at a craft show and knew that it was perfect for me."
"It was." Alex laughed softly and began to run her fingers through Erin's hair. A door closed in the background, and she began to cry harder once more, certain that David had left her for good. "I didn't think you'd stay. We're not leaving her side."
The protective tone to Alex's voice made her look up at the person she was speaking to, and she gasped when she saw her David standing in front of her, a guilty look on his face. "I'm not going to hurt her, Alex."
"You already have, you rat fink." Erin couldn't suppress the giggle that bubbled to her lips at Penelope's comment, and she tried to mask it in a cough. That caused him to look at her, and she felt her breath sucked out of her lungs at the pain and hunger that shone from his eyes. "Do you really think we're going to trust you alone with her?"
He shrugged a little, never taking his eyes from her. "Erin?"
"What, David?" She tried to sound frosty, uncaring, but knew that she was failing.
"I'm sorry." Those two words were so full of bitter longing, and she nodded as she closed her eyes, holding her hand out to him. He brought it to his lips, as she could feel the hairs of his goatee tickling her skin, and then pressed them to her skin in reverence. "I'm sorry."
"I wish I could have told you. The marshal service was a bit leery, given the last experience they had with our unit." He let out a low groan and pulled her to her feet, hugging her tightly. Erin breathed in his familiar scent, listening to him do the same thing. "And then, you wouldn't talk to me. You abandoned me when I needed you most. I still love you, so desperately."
"Oh, my bella Erin." His hand made large sweeps up and down her back as they began to cry together. In the background, she could hear Penelope and Alex whisper, and she wondered what they were up to. Dave guided her over to the doorway, stopping her beneath the mistletoe. "May I have this Christmas kiss?"
She opened her eyes and looked up at him, a tremulous smile on her lips. "Of course, David." She puckered her lips, tasting the salt of her tears there, and he sighed a little before bending down and claiming her lips in a tender kiss. It was so different from his normal kisses, and she relished the infinite care he took in imparting to her just how sorry he was, how much he cared for her. "I love you."
A breath, like a benediction, washed over her face as he smiled at her and he nodded a little before reaching up and cupping her cheek. "I love you, too. May I spend the night with you?"
"That would be a negative, my sweet Italian jackass. It's girl's night tonight. You can stay in the guest room and make breakfast for us in the morning, though." Erin began to chuckle as she felt Dave tighten his grip around her waist in annoyance at the other woman.
"You know, you'll never win with her. Spend Christmas with me and my family."
He nodded and smiled at her. "If that will make you happy, cara."
"It will, David. Stay?"
"Yes. I'd hate for you to be alone on Christmas."
"Now that you're here, and Penelope and Alex, and my children tomorrow, everything \will be perfect. Thank you." She kissed him once more and sighed. "I love you."
"I love you, too. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas."