Disclaimer: I own nothing from 24
Guilt was a staple of the Bauer family. It was the issue behind most of Kim's relationship with her father, and it was overwhelming her ever since she realized how horrible she was to push her father away. It was magnified to an extreme when she found out he was held prisoner by the Chinese. People were careful not to give her too many details- and she fortunately never found out that they used her name to get to him- but what they wouldn't tell her spoke volumes. She knew they'd tortured him horribly for information. She knew, before they even told her, that he hadn't said a thing. And she knew it was all her fault. If she hadn't pushed her father away that day, maybe she would have been with him when they took him. Maybe she would have noticed he was missing sooner than Audrey, and found him before he could be taken to Beijing. Maybe… It's been eating away at her for four years now.
He was back in the US for just days, and he slipped through her fingers. By the time she found out he was out of China, he had disappeared once again. She was at the service for her uncle and grandfather when she found out. She'd heard something about them being involved with the nuke that went off outside her old house, but the full story hadn't been released yet. Her reaction to that was nothing compared to how floored she was when Josh told her about Jack saving his life- multiple times throughout the day.
"That's what he does" she said with a teary smile, before giving poorly-received condolences. It was clear that Josh was still struggling with the knowledge of his father's misdeeds. Marilyn seemed to be doing better but was also clearly stressed, particularly whenever Josh mentioned his father.
After the service, Kim pulled Marilyn aside.
"I'm sorry for bothering you with this today, but... I understand you saw my dad when he was in LA?"
Marilyn's eyes widened. "Kim, I'm so sorry I didn't call you- I was so shocked to see him, and then with.. Everything.. I should have called you. Did he come see you?" She never did know the right thing to say.
The tears started flowing as she whispered, "No. He- The last time I saw him, we said some things.. I asked him to stay away, but.." She was too choked up to continue. She continued crying as Marilyn pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.
"I'm so sorry, Kim. You know your father loves you. Mr. Buchanan said you were the first thing he asked about when he got back. I don't know where he is right now, but I'm sure you could call."
Kim knew that when Jack Bauer wanted to disappear, he would be completely gone. Still, she had to do everything she could. She hired PI after PI, got a hold of the state department, broke her long-standing silence with CTU to beg Chloe to try and find him. Soon after CTU was gone and even Chloe hadn't been able to find a trace.
One day, she got five calls on her cell phone. Three PIs, the State Department, and Chloe O'Brian all confirmed that Jack was in the US and would be appearing before a senate subcommittee in a month. He had been back for about 7 weeks already, but that fact was being kept under wraps by the government to protect him from prior enemies. Kim couldn't get a hold of her father, but she started making arrangements. Her work schedule and her familial obligations wouldn't let her just pack up and go, but she managed to secure time at the start of the hearings to go out to DC. She wished she could get there earlier, before the hearings, but her schedule wouldn't allow it, and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to track down her father anyways. Her plan was to sit as close to the front as possible, and do everything in her power to get his attention. She knew this wouldn't be easy for him- it was a witch hunt if she'd ever seen one. She hoped being there and showing him that she supported him and missed him would help make this easier for her father. Kim even went so far as to contact the aides of everyone on the subcommittee and begged to submit a statement or a character reference, anything she could do for her father.
Her husband didn't know what to do to help, but his support and love helped her keep going whenever it seemed hopeless. He said that he'd never seen her so intensely focused on anything before.
"I get it from my father." She'd said with the barest hint of a sob. Once she started missing him, it wouldn't stop.
Finally, the day came. Her flight got in late, but he was scheduled to be on the stand for another three hours. There was no time to check into the hotel. She instructed the car service to drop her luggage off there after dropping her off at the Capitol building. Rushing through security, she vaguely considered the fact that the driver could just steal her belongings and run off with them. She considered the fact that she didn't care. Nothing could stop her from seeing her father now.
Except him not being there. She wasn't overly concerned about being quiet rushing into the chamber- honestly; she hoped the noise would attract his attention. Several eyes turned towards her, but not the blue-green ones she desperately needed to see. He was gone, slipped away once again. Back outside, she grabbed the first aide she could find and demanded to know why Jack Bauer wasn't testifying. After getting passed off to three different people over the course of an hour, she discovered that the FBI had pulled him out. She collapsed on a plastic chair, spent. She had no idea what to do now.
"What would daddy do?" That was her motivation right now. Her father never gave up, and neither would she. Working at CTU made her privy to the tortuous bureaucracy that is the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Every time they had to coordinate with them was a walking nightmare because they were so concerned with the paperwork and procedure. CTU had its protocols, but they did things swiftly and efficiently. More efficiently when her father was involved, she remembered.
No matter, she had to start somewhere. She pulled out her phone as she hailed a taxi. She called her husband on the way back to the hotel and explained how she missed her father. By the time she checked in, pleased to find her luggage intact, she was ready to start her deluge of calls to the Bureau. Kim Bauer was nothing if not persistent.
Her first call to the main FBI switchboard got her nowhere. They had no idea who Jack Bauer was, and they're in the middle of a national security crisis so it would just have to wait, thank you. Three calls to the same number, and two different operators didn't help much more, until her second call to the same operator got her a new number- the DC bullpen number.
It was past dinner time, and Kim hadn't gotten nearly far enough. She had been hoping to treat her father to steak or lobster tonight. Instead, it looked like she'd be digging peanuts out of the mini-bar.
The bullpen got her more information, but nowhere closer to getting in touch with her father. She discovered that the FBI had pulled him out of the senate hearing because he used to work with one of the players in a major terrorist conspiracy. That sounded like something that would happen to her father. She wished he wouldn't have to be in danger, but knowing him, he was just happy not to be stuck in the senate hearings. The thought of her father out in the field again, doing what mattered to him, brought a smile to her face. The knowledge that he was within fifty miles of her again made her want to laugh and cry all at once. He was finally so close to her, but she still couldn't find him. It was like she was living in one of her nightmares from when her mother died- four months straight of seeing each of her parents tied up and killed right in front of her, while she was powerless to stop them.
Kim didn't let those thoughts persist. She had work to do, and she was going to do it. The FBI bullpen was no help, so she was going to go extension by extension until she found someone who could get her information about her father.
She kept calling the same numbers over and over- the main switchboard operators started snapping at her when she started calling every 30 minutes on the dot. At 11 pm, she gave up, sobbing and exhausted. She called her husband one more time to fill him in on her lack of progress, wished him a goodnight and hopped into bed, still dressed. Kim curled up into a ball and sobbed, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. She had gotten so close- but tomorrow was a fresh day, and her father would have to finish his testimony some time. With that in mind, she finally reclined, hoping to relax if not sleep. She must have drifted off, because what seemed like 2 minutes turned out to be an hour and a half and her phone was ringing. Not just ringing, but displaying a 202 area code.
"This is Kim Bauer." She'd gotten used to referring to herself as Kim Patterson, but her mind was entirely focused on her father right now.
"Hello Kim, my name is Agent Renee Walker I'm with the FB-"
"Where is my father?"
Renee wanted to laugh at the thought of how alike Kim and her father were, but any thought of Jack sunk her further into a depression right now.
"He's here, Kim. He's been working to prevent all of the attacks today."
"Agent Walker, please, I just want to see my father, I've been trying to get to him all day. How can I get in touch with him?" Kim was trying very hard not to start crying again, but her desperation started to show.
"You're in DC? That's- I'm so glad you're here, Kim. Could you come into the FBI now? I'll send you a car if you tell me where you are and get you a visitor's pass."
Kim gave the FBI the name of her hotel and freshened up before meeting the car outside. Something in Agent Walker's voice concerned Kim. She couldn't imagine why there was a sense of urgency- there were no possible good reasons for it.
Her fears were confirmed when Agent Walker pulled her aside before leading her to the visitor's lounge.
"Kim, I need to talk to you about your father. I'm afraid-" her voice shook ever so slightly "I'm afraid I have some bad news."
Renee explained Jack's illness to Kim. When she explained how he contracted the illness, Kim was filled with both devastation and immense pride. Her father was still the hero she envisioned him to be when she was twelve and he was off fighting some bad guys.
"Dr. Macer found a treatment that's- I won't sugar coat this Kim, it's not promising. But it's the only shot he has," She continued in an almost pleading tone, "and he doesn't want to take it."
Kim's eyes widened and she started to interject when Renee cut her off.
"He doesn't want to take it- because they would need your stem cells. There would be a risk to you, and your father was concerned. He, um.. He mentioned that you hadn't spoken, he didn't want to drag you into anything, but I got the notice that you tried calling."
Kim was curious about the relationship between her father and Agent Walker- it was apparent they were close in the way she talked about him, but her curiosity was overruled by the fear of losing her father- especially of losing her father without getting the chance to tell him how sorry she was, how much she missed him, how much she loved him.
"I want to talk to him. Please."
Renee escorted Kim to the visitor's lounge and went to get Jack.