A/N: Hey everyone. Here is just a little one shot, I know I don't do this often, but it just came to me last night after watching episode 2:22. If you haven't seen it yet, there are some spoilers in it.
Enjoy~
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
"So I escape right; clocked a guy with my gun, sleeper held another guard into submission after I kicked out his knees like a ninja, and then I climbed out a bathroom window," Danny explained with great animation as his colleagues sat around staring, some in awe but others in awkward skepticism.
"Sure you did Danno," Steve laughed. "I've missed your stories!"
"It's not a story, it's the truth," Danny stated.
"They didn't think to take your gun?" Steve questions in retort.
"What can I say, I'm awesome, and hid it. They were too preoccupied with my amazing charm and overall appearance to notice that I slipped my gun into the cuff of my slacks." Danny smirked, slicked his hair back for fifties effect and fell into a chair to sip at the nearly empty beer before him on the table.
"How did you get out of the tie cuffs?"
"Super human strength, Chin, I don't just wear these shirts cause it's 'my look', no, I've gotta look mild mannered to cover up my amazing skills." Danny winked and rolled up his sleeves to show off the darkening bruises on his wrists.
"How did you get down from the window?" Kono asked with amusement and ready to play along.
"I threw myself onto a stack of shipping pallets and just before they all crashed over into the alley, blocking the path, I jumped onto a dumpster and surfed that down the alley narrowly escaping the avalanche that chased me down!" Danny stated as he leaned back in his chair resting his hands behind his head and smiled ever so pleased with his self.
"Alright Indiana, did you get the treasure as well?" Steve teased.
"You're just jealous you weren't there to see it."
"And where did you get the wheels, Danno?" Steve asked with a smirk.
"Babe, I'm from Jersey; the dark, mean streets of New Jersey. I boosted that Impala with nothing more then a rock and a paper clip!" Danny stated, fished in his pocket, pulled out a mangled paper clip and slammed it down onto the tabletop. "Once I had that baby purring, I was gone in less then sixty seconds to arrive just in time to save you from the Yakuza."
"Oh did you now? That's not quite how I remembered it," Steve laughed, "and I happen to know for a fact that you keep a paper clip in your pocket because if you get nervous about talking to someone you fidget with that to eliminate your nerves. It's one of your coping mechanisms."
"My only coping mechanism is yelling at you!" Danny retorted.
"Oh ok so what really happened out there then, Danno? Please enlighten us," Steve asked with a laugh.
"As always you needed us to swoop in and save your ass. That is just how it always happens, with my amazing crew, made up of sharp shooter Kono Kalakaua and stunt driver Chin Ho Kelly, flying in with adequate HPD backup just before you and your fugitive gets shot by an army of Yakuza goons. We are like the Avengers, no thanks to you ditching out on us."
"I left a Dear Danno note!" Steve stated and threw his hands up in defeat.
"I half expected it to self destruct after I had finished reading it," Danny snapped.
"And I brought back Wo Fat!"
"Because we were just dying to see that scumbag back in our city," Danny huffed.
"He's behind bars now. No use dwelling on it." Chin said as he polished off his beer, "I gotta get home to Malia," he added as both Steve and Danny made a whipping sound and high fived each other. "Cool it Super SEALs. We don't need any more attitudes around here." Chin laughed as he pointed at Danny and Steve simultaneously.
"I'm not a Super SEAL." Danny spat.
"No he's definitely not a SEAL. Maybe Superman though," Steve teased.
"I'm out too," Kono laughed as she placed another empty bottle on the table and stood, "there is just too much testosterone flying around right now. I don't need to get caught in the cross fire. I'll see you both tomorrow. Good to have you back boss." She smiled.
"Take it easy kiddo!" Steve smiled and hugged her before opening two more beers and handing one to Danny.
Moments later the two alpha males were left alone in their secret lair.
"I call bullshit!" Steve stated once he and Danny were alone.
"Bullshit on what?" Danny asked as he rolled his eyes.
"Your great escape," Steve said and slid an unfamiliar set of keys across the table. "That is not your gun, you didn't break the ties on your wrists and you most certainly did not boost that car." He accused and tapped the keys he had placed before Danny.
"Maybe not, but I do have a super power that you don't have," Danny smirked and gladly sipped at the new, perfectly chilled, bottle of beer.
"Oh yeah, what is that?" Steve asked.
"I can telepathically make people let me go and set it all up so that I seem really clever, and for the record I did sleeper hold that guy after giving him a good boot to the back of the knees. He messed up my hair on the way down, but I was still pretty epic." Danny smirked, "Also I managed to get out of my bad situation without looking like I was beaten by a bag of broken doorknobs. You look like shit, babe, you need a little more finesse in your exit strategies."
"Daniel, I was in a plane crash, an ambush, a hand to hand battle with Wo Fat and all on less then three hours of sleep. I'm sorry my hair isn't perfectly groomed and I didn't change back into my tie and dinner jacket." Steve retorted. "Plus I didn't have my backup." He added and clapped his partner on the shoulder.
Danny rolled his eyes, "you could have had your backup. We would have gone along with any of your plans, but no, you have to go all tall, dark and silent, and sneak off to another Asian country where you could have been captured and tortured. Smooth move. So don't bitch and moan to me when you're shoulder hurts or you look like crap and I point it out to you. This whole situation could have been avoided…all of it…including my being taken by the CIA and held in some stupid, stinky, warehouse in Pearl City! This is entirely your fault!"
"I'm sorry Danno."
"And furthermore, why are there so many abandon warehouses in Pearl City?"
"It's a government conspiracy," Steve laughed.
"I wouldn't be surprised if it was," Danny spat, "and I don't think you grasp the severity of what I am saying. It is your fault I was taken by the so called 'good guys', also known as the CIA. I hope you know that. I'm waiting for an apology."
"I already apologized, and how was it my fault?"
"You just had to call me and get me involved after weeks, nay months, of no contact." Danny ranted. "That is strike two my friend. Three strikes and you are out, and we can't be friends anymore."
"What was strike one?" Steve asked playfully.
"Getting me shot on the first day!"
"You're still holding that grudge after all we've been through?"
"Oh you bet your black opps, flying dark, unmarked helicopter, top secret intelligence, ass I am!" Danny stated downed the last of his beer and stood, "and for the record…again…I can boost cars. I boosted the Marquis and strategically relocated it for you to find, just out of spite and to make you pay for leaving." He added and then turned to leave. "I may or may not have fixed it as well, so that it makes it more then nine miles and doesn't sound like you neglected it. Oh and if you really want to go around telling people what my coping mechanisms are, get them straight. The paper clip is to pick locks, especially hand cuffs, and so that I don't punch you out when you drive my car way too fast. To cope with my mentally challenged, Navy SEAL, partner who likes to disappear in the night and doesn't have the common courtesy to call, I have this pathological need to fix things; from relationships, to Barbie dolls, and automobiles. So I fixed your car and then kidnapped her. You're welcome." Danny ranted as he walked down the hall and out of the main HQ doors.
"Danny wait, what did you do to my car?" Steve yelled as he rushed after his partner.
"That's classified."