My Lover's Gone

Bella remember her time with Edward before she jumps. Short, one-parter, songfic

The Song is My Lover's Gone by Dido. The italics are flash backs to the book, which I summarized. Enjoy!

I stood at the edge of the cliff, my heart pounding. I wanted this. I want to jump from the top. I wanted to hear Edward's scolding voice as I fell and flew though the air. I knew it was the stupidest, most reckless thing I had ever done, but I need to fill that hole Edward left in me.

My lover's gone
his boots no longer by my door
he left at dawn
and as I slept I felt him go
Returns no more
I will not watch the ocean
My lover's gone
no earthly ships will ever bring him home again
bring him home again

He left me.

'Edward pulled me along the forest. I followed unwillingly. I could still see the house when we stopped. Edward leaned against a tree, expression unreadable.

"Bella were leaving. It's time." I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant. I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"I'm no good for you, Bella."

"I don't want you to come with us, Bella."

"It will be as if I'd never existed. My knees started to shake. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. His voice sounded far away.

"Don't worry. You're human- your memory is no more then a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." He took a step away from me. He was gone. I followed him into the forest. There were no footprints, the leaves were still. I stopped looking for him. I was over.

Love, life, meaning…over. He wasn't returning.'

I stepped on to the edge. I need to hear his voice. There it was.

"Bella."

My lover's gone

I know that kiss will be my last
no more his song

The tune upon his lips has passed

I sing alone

While I watch the ocean

Yes? I thought to myself.

"Don't do this," He pleaded. You shouldn't have left.

'He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up.

The kiss began as usual- Edward was as careful as ever, and my heart began to overreact like it always did. And then something seemed to change. Suddenly his lips became much more urgent, his free hand twisted into my hair and held my face securely to his. And, though my hands tangled in his hair, too, and though I was clearly beginning to cross his cautious lines, for once he didn't stop me.

"Sorry," he said as he pushed me away and I collapsed onto the pillow. "That was too out of line. Now, stop pushing your luck and go to sleep." I really did feel exhausted. It had been a long day in so many ways, yet I felt no sense of relief as it came to its end. Almost as if something worse was coming tomorrow.

I was half way asleep, maybe more, when I realize what that kiss had reminded me of: last spring, when he'd had to leave me to throw James of the trail, Edward had kissed me goodbye, not knowing when –or if- we would see each other again. This kiss had the same painful edge for some reason I couldn't imagine.'

My lover's gone

No earthly ships will ever bring him home again

Bring him home again

My lover's gone

His boots no longer by my door

He left at dawn

And as I slept I felt him go

Returns no more

I will not watch the ocean

You wanted me to be human. Well, Watch me.

"Please. For me." It was just a whisper on the wind. I rolled onto the ball of my foot.

"No, Bella!" He was angry now. I smiled and raised my arms out to the side. I leaned forward and flew.

My lover's gone

No earthly ships will ever bring him home again

Bring him home again