#73 I'm forced to fake a smile,a laugh everyday of my life
They wouldn't let me come back to work.
Dr.Heightmeyer didn't thought i was stable enough
She
said, and i quote, i was "too emotionally attached"
i wanted
to hit her in the face.
She said i was too close to you! Is she stupid? Blind?
Of course i am! It hasn't affected my work so far, so why would it matter now?
i know you'll come back. You always find your way home.
You're not dead. I know it. I feel it.
So i put a brave face.A happy face. Say that i'm ok.That i'm dealing.
All those lies i never thought i'd have to say.
I accompany Carson to lunch and laugh at his jokes.
I take walks with Teyla and can't help but smile but she asks about Earth customs. I deserve an Oscar. I've gotten so good at this.
Whenever i feel bad, or want to cry, or anything, i bury it til later that night. It's the only time i can relax and think about you without guilt.