Clarke didn't know how she expected a drunk Bellamy to act. She had thought maybe he would loosen up, crack a few jokes or a smile. Or maybe he would get all sentimental and start pouring out his heart, since it was obvious he had a lot of emotions that he kept in. Maybe he would get loud and rowdy and pick fights with people over silly stuff. One thing was for sure, in all the possibilities she had thought of, the words "affectionate" or "touchy-feely" had never crossed her mind.
Those remaining out of the original 100 were taking a well needed break. Everyone was free from Mount Weather, the alliance with the grounders was holding, and the kids needed some time to themselves to relax. Clarke had been shocked when her mother agreed to Monty and Jasper's idea of a party at the drop ship. Maybe she finally realized that after so long on their own, they were not quick to fall back in line and follow orders. There had been rules, of course, members of the guard were stationed all around and Monty's still was confiscated. Although that didn't stop him from whipping up another one and smuggling it to the drop ship. Someone had even managed to find something that played music.
Clarke convinced Bellamy that it was his turn to have a little fun. The poor kid had been put through the ringer and still acted like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. She wasn't going to drink a lot because her survival instinct was too strong and she knew that one of them needed to be sober in case anything happened. Once Bellamy saw that she wasn't going to budge he had shrugged his shoulders and gone and gotten a drink.
And he hadn't stopped.
Seriously that man could drink. Clarke watched in amazement as he downed drink after drink. And her big, tough, co-leader had slowly become more and more lovey-dovey with each cup. He went around, throwing his arm around everyone's shoulders and telling them how much he loved them. He ruffled people's hair, lay on their shoulders, and even gave out hugs.
Clarke had always suspected that Bellamy was a more tactile person than he let on, but he had always been fairly reserved in his touches. He wasn't afraid to make contact, but most was calculated and meant to send a specific message. A squeeze of the shoulder to convey reassurance or a tight grip on the arm to convey anger or displeasure. He never touched anyone for the simple need for human contact, with the exception of his sister. He would never casually throw his arm around Miller just because they were friends and that was something that friends did. That is, he would never do something like that until you got a few drinks in him.
Clarke sat relaxed, leaning up against the fence. She had a good vantage point of everything that was happening. She hadn't had any alcohol, but it almost felt like she had. The atmosphere was so contagious that she felt happy and less reserved than normal. She laughed loudly at the silly things people did, she had a surprisingly deep conversation with Octavia, and she was gladly a part of a Monty/Jasper group hug.
"Princess!" Bellamy practically shouted as he came over to her. He handed her a drink and sat unnecessarily close to her, his leg against hers and their shoulders bumping. Clarke didn't bother shifting away.
"Are you having fun Bellamy?" Clarke asked him with a smile.
"Yes! Jasper and Monty throw the best parties don't you think? I love those two. I'm glad they kept their spirit through everything that happened." He said with a dorky smile on his face, still talking a bit louder than necessary. Clarke subtly replaced the drink in his hand with one filled with water.
"They definitely never fail to raise the spirits of the kids." Clarke agreed. Without warning, Bellamy leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, then started talking like he had just done something totally normal.
"So do you, you know. We all owe our lives to you several times over. You are the best co-leader a man could ask for."
"You're not so bad yourself." She said with a smile. Bellamy reached up and cupped her cheek, bringing her closer, she realized what was about to happen just before their lips touched. Clarke pulled back sharply. "This is not how I want our first kiss to happen." She said standing up. She hadn't really meant to say that out loud, but he was probably too drunk to remember it in the morning. Clarke turned to walk away, but he grabbed her hand.
"Wait, I'm sorry. Please just stay." Unable to deny his pleading eyes she sat back down. Bellamy laid his head in her lap, he lay on his side facing away from her and threw his arm over her legs to take hold of her far hand. Giving into the temptation, Clarke used her free hand to play with his curls, something that she had been itching to do for a while.
It wasn't long before she heard soft snores coming from Bellamy. Soon after, the party began dying out as people fell asleep in various places. Miller was coherent enough to come over and ask if Clarke wanted help moving Bellamy. She denied him and he went to sleep by Jasper, Monty, and Harper. Clarke was quite content sitting with the sleeping boy still holding her hand. She leaned against the wall and felt more at ease than she had in a long time.
Bellamy woke up the next morning confused and with a pounding head. He sat up quickly when he realized his pillow was actually someone's legs. Wincing at the sudden movement he turned to look at who he had been asleep on. He looked in surprise at the sleeping girl before him. Tough Clarke who had always kept him, and pretty much everyone else since Finn, at arms length had let him sleep on her. He may have fallen asleep without giving her much of a choice, but he figured she could have gotten someone to move him, but she had let him stay. It was such a gentle and caring thing for her to have done. Clarke cared about pretty much everybody, but she had more of a fierce way of showing it. More mama bear than doting mother. Gentle was not a word he would often associate with her.
Bellamy marveled at how peaceful she looked as she slept, he knew the moment she woke up it would slip back into the tough mask she constantly wore. That's why his eyes usually found her sleeping form whenever he was on duty. Of course it was partially just to check up on her and make sure she was safe, but it was also to take in the look of innocence that he knew he would never see whilst she was awake.
What he wouldn't give to be able to restore that peace and innocence to her, but he knew that could never happen. They could be safe for 20 years and she would still wake up in panic every time a twig snapped. He knew that because that was how he felt. Every one of the 100 and been through hell and back, but he and Clarke had the unique responsibility of having led them there. They both felt extremely protective over and responsible for those kids. The failures of their past haunted them and Bellamy knew that neither of them would be able to stop looking out for their safety.
Clarke sighed slightly and crinkled her nose in an adorable way that made Bellamy want to kiss it. Bellamy had known that he was in love with her for a while now, he was just waiting for the right time to be able to act on it. However recently he had begun to wonder if there ever was going to be a right time. He wasn't sure if Clarke would ever be able move past her tortured past and open her heart fully and let him in.
"This is not how I want our first kiss to happen" Clarke's words from last night suddenly came back to him. Had she really said that? He thought hard about what he could remember from last night. He remember his sloppy attempt at a kiss in embarrassment, but her reaction made it almost worth it. She hadn't pulled away because she hadn't wanted to kiss him, she had pulled away because she wanted their first kiss to be memorable.
"I bet deep down you're a hopeless romantic" Bellamy whispered as he vowed that he would kiss her the next time a good opportunity presented itself. Clarke stirred at her words and her eyes blinked open. She sat up and smiled at him, eyes filled with a mixture of amusement and pity.
"How's your head?" She whispered, although it sounded more like a shout. Bellamy winced at the noise but chuckled despite himself
"It hurts, but nowhere near as much as theirs is gonna hurt when they wake up." He said gesturing towards Monty and Jasper.
"I'll get you some water" She said, quickly getting up. Bellamy leaned against the fence and closed his eyes against the burning sun. He really had enjoyed himself last night, he wasn't sure when the last time he had that much fun and let himself go was. Possibly never, even on the Ark he had lived with the constant fear of Octavia being caught so he had never allowed himself to get fully drunk.
"Here you go," he felt Clarke press a glass in his hands and heard her sit beside him.
"Thanks princess" He said lifting the cup to his lips. Only when he had finished all the water did he open back up his eyes. He found her studying him with those cool blue eyes of hers.
"How much do you remember?"
"Bits and pieces, I didn't embarrass myself did I?"
"No, but if you get any unwarranted hugs it's probably because you cuddled with just about everyone at some point in the night."
"Crap, there goes my tough guy act."
"Don't worry, we all saw through it anyways." She responded with a smirk. Bellamy opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by a groan coming from the middle of the pile of sleeping kids. Jasper sat up, his hair a mess and the imprint of goggles on his forehead.
"Wow...what a night." He said when his half opened eyes found Clarke and Bellamy. Bellamy laughed and Clarke got up to get Jasper some water.
The rest of the teenagers started to wake up and Clarke went and got water for every single one of them. Bellamy wanted to help but he was pretty sure he would keel over if he tried to stand. So he settled for simple watching Clarke care for the hungover kids. He promised himself that he would kiss her next time he got an opportunity to, and if the opportunity never presented itself, he would simply create one somehow. He had been waiting too damn long to act on his feelings out of fear of rejection. Luckily now he knew that she had been hiding feelings of her own deep under her mask.
It had just taken one very drunk Bellamy and one unguarded Clarke for him to figure it out.