Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. The story belongs to me.

A/N: Ok, this just came out.

Snake tears

I have always obsessed over you. I can't remember a time when you have been out of my thoughts, a time when the mere mention of your name didn't make my heart beat faster.

And I hated you. That first time I saw you I was puzzled, but minutes later hatred so black filled me that I thought I would die, I loathed you so much. You made me angry. You made me shake with fury. That you could live out there, happy, whilst I was trapped and desperate. I hated you because people said you were strong and they said I was weak.

They said I was dead.

I was not.

I lived for you. I made myself stay alive for you. I hated you so much I could not allow you to win. I dreamed of the day I would smash you. The day I knew would come eventually.

And then I thought that day had come. I was wrong. You won.

And then I thought that day truly had come. And again I was wrong. Again you walked away, leaving me to my helpless anger. You made me feel helpless. I wanted you to die for that. I wanted you to die, die, die and I wanted to be there and I wanted to look in your eyes and see the life drain away, and see your fear as you slipped into the abyss. I wanted to break you into little fragments and say 'Now I am stronger'.

So I had to find out how to kill you. Because strength was not enough. I was a more powerful wizard than you. It wasn't fair! I was stronger than you, older than you, cleverer than you and yet you always won. I grew sick of you. I grew sick of you winning. I just wanted you to die. I didn't care about you personally anymore. You were just a nuisance that I needed to remove.

And then we faced each other again. And I saw that you were loved, that you were cared for. There were people who would die for you. I touched your heart and I saw that you would die for them. And for the first time in my life I felt a sense of loss. I felt like I was standing on the edge of an abyss, about to fall, and there was no one there to catch me.

Alone. Powerless.

I fled from you.

The hatred returned. The obsession. I would do anything, anything! I swore to do whatever it took to bring you to your knees. I vented my anger on others; I bullied a child into doing my will, and told myself that it was to hurt you.

He failed. But it was ok, because another did not. And Albus Dumbledore died.

I know you would hurt. I lowered those barriers between us just for a second, as soon as I heard the news. And it terrified me. You were dying inside! The pain was horrific. I couldn't stand it; I fled and hid behind those walls. And then I laughed. I was safe again and I laughed because I knew you could not escape it like me. This is your punishment. For loving, for being loved.

Suffer.

I had taken your mentor from you.

Then I started engineering your own destruction. Every waking moment centred on you. Once you were gone I would be free. Once you were gone I would be safe.

The work was hard but I was devoted. And I grew to love it. I grew to depend on it, to live for the results I saw day by day. A strange elation filled me. I was closing in on victory.

I lured you to a place I chose.

Everything was ready.

Everything was perfect.

But it wasn't.

Something went wrong. I don't know what, but the whole thing blew up. You fled unharmed, and I sank to the ground, immeasurably weakened. Your face. That look on your face. Horror. Hatred. Revulsion. It sliced into the heart I didn't know I had.

There is no good and evil, there is only power and those to weak to see it. And the weak despise those who are willing to make the effort, to actually take the power for themselves. They label us as evil. They hate us. Fools.

I have always relied on myself alone. I do not ask for love; I ask for fear and respect. I had thought I could live with the hatred of the whole world. I was wrong. I can not live with your hatred. It feels wrong.

Alone under the stars I transformed and I wept snake tears. I don't know when my hatred became an obsession, and when my obsession morphed into stranger feelings. You are brave... Did it really matter? Yes... I was so jealous. I was so jealous, not because I wanted to be you but because I wanted to be with you. I wanted to hear you laugh. Anyone could make you cry, but I wanted to hear you laugh...does that make sense?

I felt so pathetic.

Then I heard a footstep and I stiffened, snake tongue flickering, tasting the air. You had returned. You had returned to take your inevitable victory. I could not stop you, even though my fangs were loaded with venom. You would never let me close enough. I could not beg for mercy, because I had never shown it to you. And I almost wanted to die.

So I lowered my head and waited. You were surprised to see me changed. You cocked your head, uncertain, and I knew what I had to do.

I lowered the walls. I allowed my feelings to flow towards you, taking nothing, giving everything. I saw the shock on your face, I saw you shake. You looked terrified. My heart sank; I believed I had lost you forever. Don't leave me!

And then you fell to the ground on your knees. You lowered your head and you sobbed. Alone, so alone. You cried in front of me, great tears rolling down your face. Your hands were on the ground, so I slithered to one and wound up your wrist. I could feel your whole body shake. I wrapped myself around your throat. I felt you gulp. And your pulse, racing. I could have ended your life in an instant with a single bite, but I didn't.

I would give it all up in a second. The hollow pedestal on which I stood. The respect. The fear. The title. I would give up 'Dark Lord'. For you.

I want to teach you. I want to make you great, and see you respected and feared. All the power and I'm all alone...will you share my heritage?

You stood up and I slid down from your neck and entwined myself around your lower arm. You lifted your hand so that we were eye to eye. And I knew. I saw the knowledge glistening in your tears.

Such pretty tears.

It's ok if you don't love me. It's ok if you fear me. But give me a chance. Let me be there for you, and give you what you have always deserved.

I'm not sorry. I don't care about all those people I killed. I don't repent. But I feel bad, because I know I caused you pain.

These feelings are scaring me.

But I want to see the next sunrise with you. Imagine...life with life beside me.

You smile weakly and say "Yes."

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