Disclaimer: I don't own the X-files, TPTB do.
A/N: This is my first X-Files fan-fic so please review and tell me what you think! Thank you to Juliet who beta-ed this for me!
I love Fox Mulder, and that is the truth. He is the only man who has ever made me feel like this, and I want him to be the last. I want to wake up next to him every morning and fall asleep in his arms every night. He is someone that can take my ordinary day, and make it worth living. Mulder cares, he cares about me, Dana Scully, the woman, not just the agent. The woman who has been through things that I hope he will never experience. It would have been so easy for him to walk away; he shouldn't have to deal with everything that i do. He stays though, he gives me strength and courage to get up in the morning and face the world.
Why does this relationship have to be so hard? The very thing that I want, the thing I need, is right there in front of me, and I still won't go for it. After everything that we have been through, life and death, peace and turmoil, I won't say anything. If I could, I would go to the ends of the Earth for him, I would take his place if he was in danger, I just want to love him as much as I know how to.
When we touch every one of my senses goes in to overload. How many times have we touched? More than I can count. All the nights together, driving, talking, it doesn't matter. I just want to be with him, to be near him, to feel his warmth and strength. He is my protection from everything, with him; I can forget all the bad things. I only know him, the man behind the facade, the little boy who saw his sister be taken from him who is now the man that l want to be with forever.
Our friendship is full of passion, in all regards, and I don't think that either of us can deny this truth. The passion is strong, and it will have to wait if it wants to be fulfilled. I pray that it will be fulfilled, and then I am forced to wonder what if it is never fulfilled? I will be Mulder's friend until I die, nothing will change that. The thing is, will friendship be all that there is?
It seems like we are forever engaged in this not to subtle art of teasing and flirting. Give and take, advance and retreat, some days I feel that's all we do. For once I would like the both of us to come out and say what we feel, know exactly where the other stands. If he asked me to marry him today, I would say yes before he finished his sentence, no thinking involved. Mrs. Dana Mulder, it almost seems destined to be, it sounds so good together. I have thought enough about him for three lifetimes, and all I want is to stop thinking and have it happen.
I would give everything up that I ever knew if I could have Mulder. It is so hard to think of a world without him in it. He is a man who knows what he wants; all he wants is the truth. The truth about everything, but I can't tell him my simple truth. I love him so much, l don't think that l can ever fall out of love with him. There is only one regret I have about our relationship, and that is that it didn't happen years sooner.
I have to ask myself, why am I just sitting here, drinking a bit of wine, and thinking about Mulder, my favorite jazz CD going in the background? I should just be able to go over to his apartment, and sit, and talk. Something tells me that it wouldn't last two minutes; two minutes and then I lose it.
There's a knock at my door and all of a sudden I am very self-conscious of what i am wearing. I have to ask myself who would be coming over so late; it has to be getting close to 10:30. Maybe it's the neighbor coming to tell me to turn down the music. Anyway I hit the down volume button on the remote a few times and get up from my cozy spot on the couch.
I open the door and there Mulder is. Why does he look at me like that? Those eyes are like something that I could get lost in they are so deep. In his hand is a bottle of what looks like to be champagne. Come to think of it, he's in a tux. Okay, why is Mulder, my partner, in a tux at my door at 10:30 on a Saturday night? If I wasn't self conscious about opening the door in my soccer type shorts and cami before, I sure as heck am now.
"Can I come in?"
"Ummm, yeah sure."
He sees my wine glass on the coffee table and gives me a little smirk.
"Scully, I think that you started without me."
"What? Why are you here with champagne and dressed in a tux?"
"Do you know what today is, Agent Scully?"
"No, but I'm sure that you'll tell me."
"Here's a little hint... 'Nobody down here but the FBI's most UNwanted.'"
"Today is the anniversary of when I was assigned to you..."
"So I thought we should celebrate."
Okay, right now my mind is going crazy. Mulder wants to celebrate with me, with me, and all I can do is stand here with my mouth open. Dana, get it together, he won't bite, although I wouldn't mind it if he did....
"Earth to Scully. You okay, over do it on the wine?"
Oh no, the smirk, that sexy smirk that is making me lose my self-control.
"No, I am perfectly fine."
"Alright then," I can see his eyes go from my face down my body and back up to my face. "Get changed."
"Where are we going?"
"All in due time, now go, please, for me?"
"Fine, I'll be right back."
I make my way into my bedroom and start looking in my closet for something to wear. It's not like I have a great deal of gowns, but I need something that will make Mulder crazy...I hope. Finally I decide on the one that I bought not too long ago, no one has seen me in it yet. After making a quick change into the dress, I throw my robe over it and sit down at my vanity table to try and make myself look presentable.
While I am just putting the finishing touches on my makeup, I can hear Mulder doing something in the living room. It doesn't matter, he's here, he's really here and we are going out. Well, I guess not going out going out, but it's a start. I give myself a quick once over before I start us again in this game. I take off my robe and throw it over the trunk that is at the foot of my bed.
"Hey, Mulder, can you come back here for a sec?"
When did I become this devious? Please let it work, I need this to work. I finger my cross and chain as I wait for him to come
"What's up, Scully?"
"I can't get the buttons on the back of this dress.... can you get them for me?"
His reaction is priceless. I try to sweetly smile, but all I really want to do is start laughing hysterically. There he goes again, staring me down, but this time I don't mind it at all.
"Sure... of course, I'll help you."
I turn around and I love the way that the pale dusty pink satin feels against my skin, it's so soft and cool, I also love the way that the full skirt moves with me with a swooshing sound. I don't know if I want to curse those spaghetti straps or be grateful for them. Until Mulder does up the back of this thing, they are the only things holding it up. All of a sudden I can feel his hands start to work the buttons at the bottom of the dress's fitted bodice, right about the mauve colored train that flows slightly past the hem of the gown. I shiver at his touch; it feels so good.
"My hands too cold?" he asks, taking them away to rub them together
"No, sorry, I just didn't know when you were going to start." Did that sound believable, please let it sound believable!
His hands quickly finish buttoning the rest of the cream silk covered buttons. I feel him put his hand on my shoulders and guiding me to turn around. This is my moment, I hope. I want him to think I'm pretty; I want him to want me as bad as I want him.
"Scully, you look, amazing." He almost whispers the last word
"Thanks, you don't look half bad yourself. So where are we going?"
"Come out into the living room."
"Mulder...."
He's already out of my room and down the hall. I follow him, but my curiosity is so piqued that I just follow like a little child. When I round the corner into the living room my mouth flies open. The lights are dimmed down and all my candles are out and burning. The champagne is poured in to two flutes and sitting on the top of my coffee table.
"You like it?"
"This is incredible, Mulder, thank you."
I am so blown away by this. He's so caring and loving, and he came over here and did this, for ME. Its like our own little world, there is nothing to take away from this, only things to add to it. Now that he's standing over by my stereo I know what's next.
"Care to dance, Scully?"
I smile and let out a sigh as I let my head go back. I think he takes the 'NO DUH' message and starts the music. Its a slow, sultry jazz song, and I just smile and walk towards him. We meet in the middle and he takes me into his arms, his hand going right to where that mauve train starts. I put my arm, or at least attempt to put it near is face, but in stocking feet, I am too short, so I settle for his waist. He takes my hand in his, and puts it between us. Slowly we start this dance, and I swear that only one thing would make me happier, and that would be me having our baby.
We dance for what seems to be four or five tracks, but I Iost count a long time ago. All of a sudden he dips me and I start laughing. I feel alive and free, like I'm not tied down with anything any more. With Mulder dipping me, I have to seriously start questioning if I fell asleep when I was drinking that wine; this is almost too good to be real.
"You enjoy that?"
"Maybe..." I say though my laughter
"I think I have something that you'll enjoy even more."
He breaks apart from me and turns down the music. He then motions to the sofa and I sit down, bringing my feet underneath me. I know I have this look of almost girlish anticipation on my face, but I really don't care. He takes a little box out from behind the left speaker of the stereo, and I my jaw drops. However, I bring it back up before me notices...I think.
He sits next to me and I snuggle up a little closer to him. Forget the office and the professional side of our relationship. It's almost midnight and Mulder is in my home. Yes, I think that now I can step over the line a bit...
"Scul...Day...Sc..."
"Dana is fine Mulder, I don't mind."
"Dana, I want to give this to you." Mulder says as he opens the lid to that little box. Inside is the most gorgeous ring I have ever seen. It's a white gold band and embedded in that band are little diamonds, but in the middle, still embedded, is a slightly bigger diamond.
"Oh my..."
"I want you to wear this on your right hand, for now," he says, slipping it on to my right ring finger "Then, maybe, someday, you'll wear it on your left. I want you to keep it on your right hand until you think that we're ready to take our relationship that much further."
Right now I am so temped to put it on my left hand right now but, some how I refrain myself from doing so. He wants me to wear it on my right, and I don't' really blame him. We haven't even gone out yet, but still I want to just yell 'I'll marry you tonight!'
"This is so, beautiful Mulder. Thank you so much." Before I really know what I am doing, I kiss him. This isn't like any other kiss I've experience its like, electricity or stars or something so wonderful that the world seems to stop. Its slow and passionate, and I can't think of anything else but him.
When he pulls away, and I really look at him after that kiss, I realize that here is the man that I used to dream about when I was a teenager. I touch his face and move his bangs back from his eyes that I love so much.
Yes, I love Fox Mulder, and nothing will never ever change that. I am content in this not so subtle art of teasing and flirting; I wouldn't miss it for anything...