"Rey, you have to come, we haven't seen you nearly enough since you moved away," Rose pleaded.

"You know snow isn't my thing, I'm from Phoenix!" Rey rolled her eyes.

"Finn has been planning this trip to Snow King Mountain forever and Connix already paid, and it's non-refundable for this condo, and please, oh, we would have so much fun,"

Rose clasped her hands in front of her, "the lodge has a fireplace."

Rey sighed, she knew she was going. What was the point of arguing anymore anyway?

"What time are you leaving?" Rey asked.

Rose jumped up and down, hugging Rey and spinning in a circle.

"Thursday at eight AM sharp!"

"So early...can't we at least sleep in?" Rey groaned, already regretting everything.

"No, we want to get there early! You're going to love the condo, the pictures look amazing!" Rose gushed.

Rey couldn't help laughing at her exuberance, "Ok, but I'm not going to ski."

"That's fine, that's fine, that's fine." Rose inhaled, "You're coming!" She squealed again.

Rey climbed into the SUV and tossed her duffle bag into the space behind her.

Poe held a coffee cup her way, "Mocha?''

"You got me coffee? Thanks, I actually was going to try to sleep while we drive but I'll have it after, ok?" She took the cup with a smile.

Poe was being so nice. It made her feel a little guilty; she hadn't seen much of him since leaving ResistCorp aside from the big events, like Rose and Finn's wedding, which had been beautiful. Rey and Poe had exchanged polite words there, danced the electric slide near each other maybe, but they hadn't spoken much.

Rey had always been afraid he had taken it hard when she left.

Rey knew she had left them in a lurch.

Even before she quit, Poe already had to pick up the slack. Rey shivered, more from memories than the cool air. When Ben left the company he left a big hole. Not just in work left undone, but in the morale. Everyone felt it.

It was different for Rey though.

Even though a year had passed since she last saw Ben, she still felt his loss as keenly as the day he left. She knew he was frustrated with the company and working with his parents, Han and Leia definitely had their moments. But then Ben had that fight with Han, it was the worst thing Rey had ever seen. She and Finn had been on the mezzanine of the lobby and had witnessed the whole thing.

Ben confronting Han about all his grievances and the arguing...then Ben had turned and walked out. She'd followed him into the parking lot and tried to talk to him. He'd accused her of being on Han and Leia's side, he'd felt betrayed.

Then he left.

Rey didn't call him, she didn't even text. Her pride wouldn't allow it. He was the one in the wrong. Besides, he was the one who left.

But weeks went by, and then months. Nobody thought to ask Rey how she was handling Ben leaving because no one had ever really known about their relationship. They hadn't exactly broadcast it to the world. Eventually, Rey packed up everything that reminded her of him away into a box and shoved it into the back of her closet. She never opened it again.

"It's not that early," Finn said from the passenger seat, glancing at his wife in the rear view mirror. Rose shrugged.

"It is when you stay up finishing bank recs until three in the morning," Rey responded with a heavy sigh, fluffing her coat into a pillow.

"What? Why were you doing that? I thought you were out of the bookkeeping gig when you quit working for Leia at ResistCorp," Rose asked from the seat next to her.

"Yeah, me too, but the staff accountants keep transposing numbers and it creates this huge mess. They can't see it or can't find it and it's this whole thing and it still has to get done either way," Rey rubbed her forehead, "I just need to sleep a little bit and then I'll be good to go." She shoved the coat against the door of the car as Poe was pulling onto the highway and closed her eyes.

At last, the stopping motion of the car slid Rey's head off her makeshift pillow which woke her with a start. She took a deep breath and a sip of the coffee, now cold, willing the caffeine to kick in.

Rey hoisted her bag onto her shoulder. The cold seemed to blow right through her coat. She inwardly cursed the moment she had agreed to leave home for this ridiculously cold place but then she saw Rose and Finn and they were so happy. It was the right thing to do, she smiled inwardly.

They all followed Poe into the condo.

"Look at this place, it's better than the pictures," Rose's excitement broke Rey's train of thought.

"It's beautiful," Rey agreed, throwing her coat on a chair and surveying the mountains outside the window, "Hey, which room should I throw my stuff into?" she said turning her attention to the bedrooms, the condo was huge.

"Connix was going to take the room at the end of the hall, so if that works for you…" Poe motioned for her to follow him. They passed a few bedrooms on the way. Rey paused when she noticed a black leather bag sitting on one of the beds she hadn't seen in the car.

"Oh no, do you think somebody left a bag in there?" she asked.

"What's that?" Poe came back to stand by her, "Oh, he must be here already, great, he wasn't sure if he would make it here today or tomorrow."

Poe walked on down the hall without a second look.

Rey was confused; she hadn't realized they were meeting anyone.

"Who else is coming?" she followed Poe into the bedroom at the far end and deposited her duffle on the desk in the corner.

"Ben," Poe answered.

"Excuse me?" Rey said shaking her head. She must have misheard.

"Ben…Ben Solo, he's coming too," Poe nodded, "He's back at ResistCorp, he actually just came back a week ago, or maybe…I guess it was two weeks ago now." Poe scratched his chin, "Anyway, since Connix's boyfriend wasn't coming, I mean, we don't really know him so when she dropped out, you know, it would have been awkward." He gave a small laugh, "Anyway, I mentioned it to Ben and he was totally down, right away. You know he loves to ski."

Rey nodded, suddenly realizing her mouth was agape.

She did know he loved to ski.

"Wow, I have to go tell Finn that Ben's already here. I should text him and see where he is," Poe pulled his phone out of his pocket and walked out of the room absently, typing as he went.

Rey stood wordlessly watching his retreating form.

Suddenly, the room was spinning slightly, or tilted maybe? Something was definitely off; she felt for the bed behind her with a trembling hand and sat down. Some sort of fight or flight reflex was kicking in, she could feel it as her heart began to pound and her mind instantly filled with a million excuses why she had to leave immediately.

"Hey, guys, I just remembered something," she called after only a moment's reflection. Rey walked into the living room tugging at a strand of her hair, " I think I might need to—"

It was too late. The door opened and Poe exclaimed, "Ben, you made it! I was just texting to see where you were, we literally just arrived, timing couldn't be better." He slapped the younger, much taller man on the shoulder. "We're so glad you could make it."

Rey was frozen in place. Her body was suddenly incapable of doing anything other than standing stalk still and staring at the man who had broken her heart one year ago. He was enormous, she didn't know if it was his physical size or the presence that emanated off him. His hair was long and wavy, curling around his face, framing it with deep brown. He was wearing a cable knit sweater and jeans under a dark grey wool coat that hung open just so, and a black scarf.

He turned to Finn, who was just beside Poe, "Good to see you, thanks so much for inviting me."

Finn shook his hand and said something about how glad they all were. Next was Rose who sidled up to Finn almost shyly, Rey couldn't help but notice.

"Hi Ben," she said with a wave.

"Rose, you were right, this place is great," he squeezed her arm affectionately before finally looking up to see the last figure who hovered at the edge of the room.

"Rey," he whispered. Suddenly frozen himself as his chestnut brown eyes fixed on her.

All the air seemed to have escaped the room as Rey stood planted looking at him. His mouth worked with words unspoken, battling emotions too strong to express.

Rey sucked in a breath herself, "I need some air…take a walk…" she slipped into the kitchen where she had seen a back door.

Rose looked at Ben and back to the kitchen where Rey had just escaped, her eyes fell on Rey's coat tossed haphazardly across a chair, "Oh, she forgot her coat."

"I'll take it to her," Ben said, crossing the room in a few long strides.

Rey blindly walked the footpath behind the condos, she noticed in one part of her brain that the view was magnificent behind her but couldn't bring herself to fully see it. Ben was in her eyes and her mind and every part of her she thought he'd gone from in the months after he left. But it was just the same, emotions raw and untamable.

"Rey," he called from somewhere behind her, his voice was low, why did she always notice things like that about him?

"You forgot your coat," he caught up with her easily and she turned to look at him.

"Thank you," she said taking it from his hand and putting it on, turning away from him as she slipped it over her pale pink sweater.

"I'm sorry I startled you," Ben said, his voice just above a whisper.

"I didn't know you were coming," she said with an ambiguous wave of her hand toward him, she was stating the obvious but it didn't matter.

"I didn't realize until last week that you stayed in touch with Finn and Rose after you left," his voice was low.

"Rose is my best friend," she said by way of answer.

"So KPMG, huh, that's great, big four," he looked away from her, his body radiating awkwardness.

Her mind registered that he must have talked to somebody about her to know that.

"Yeah, I decided to try public accounting, get out of the monotony," she said, falling back to the canned answer she always gave when people asked her why she'd left

ResistCorp and moved to a town two hours away for the new job.

"That's great, you must be doing really well…you were always great with numbers," he ran a hand through his hair absently.

"That's not what accountants do," she looked at him pointedly, her charged emotions focusing into the gaze.

He sighed, "I know," he exhaled again quickly, "I don't know what to say to you right now, I'm sorry."

"You don't need to say anything, Ben, you're good at that, just stick to it," she met his eyes for the briefest of moments and turned on her heal. Relieved he didn't follow her to see the tear that spilled unbidden down her cheek or the slight, shaky gulps of air she drew in as she walked. This was a perfect time to go explore that lodge, she decided.

The phone in Rey's pocket vibrated.

Where did you go?

It was from Rose.

Rey sighed, and typed out a quick reply.

At the lodge, needed more coffee, be back soon.

She stuffed the phone back into her pocket and stepped up to the counter and ordered a cappuccino with an extra shot. If she was going to make it through, she was going to need caffeine.

"At least ride the lift with us, Rey, the view from the top is amazing," Poe said, gesturing exuberantly.

Rey nodded, she was determined not to let this vacation be ruined because Ben showed up. It was unplanned and unexpected, sure, but she got really limited vacation time, and it really was a beautiful place, also, the Uber ride back would cost over $400 (she had checked when she was at the lodge waiting for her coffee).

"Let me grab a hat and some extra socks," Rey muttered and walked to her room. The feeling had just returned to her toes and she was loath to lose it again.

She felt him enter her room behind her, she slowly looked up from her bag of the thickest winter clothes she owned.

Ben raised his hands up in a placating gesture, "I'm going to head out, I don't want to…" he shoved his hands into his back pockets, "I just wanted to say, before I left, that I'm sorry."

Rey surveyed him silently, eyes narrowing slightly, "You don't need to leave because of me, Ben, I'm fine." She pulled a fluffy pair of socks out of her bag and held them as she motioned with her hand flippantly, "Everything is fine, nothing to apologize for anyway."

He took the tiniest of steps closer to her, Rey inhaled carefully; her heart was starting to beat faster.

"There is plenty for me to apologize for, Rey," his voice was low and broke just as he spoke her name.

Rey's lip quivered slightly, "It's in the past Ben, let it go." She put a little more steel into her voice than she had intended.

He nodded and took a step back, "Right."

"Alright, it's Christmas movie time!" Poe exclaimed, stepping in front of the television.

Rey pulled the blanket around her a little tighter. She sat on the sofa with her legs tucked under her. Rose and Finn occupied the love seat and Ben wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Poe fanned out the DVD cases he held in his hands.

"Alright, we have It's a Wonderful Life, Love Actually-"

Finn interrupted him with a groan.

"What was that?" Poe asked, "Did I hear a yes? We also have Elf and Holiday Inn."

Rey smiled amused, with those choices, and this crowd, they would barely have a movie picked out by New Year's.

"I brought the Muppets Christmas Carol if anyone is interested," Ben's voice rolled into the room from the hallway.

Rey released a breath. It was her favorite Christmas movie; she distinctly remembered telling Ben that the previous year. They had been planning a date, just a movie night in.

He had asked what she wanted to watch and she had told him about that movie. He laughed softly but agreed. She promised that he would love it.

The next day the fight happened.

Rose voted for the Muppets and Finn caved easily enough to the peer pressure. Poe inserted the DVD and handed the empty box to Ben as he plopped into the last chair. Ben turned to look around the room; Rey swallowed and lowered her eyes.

Slowly, Ben walked to the sofa and gingerly sat across from her, awkwardness now radiated from his every movement.

The movie did the trick though, it cheered her up just like it always did.

Kermit's voice intoned, "If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?"

"We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles! Our assets are frozen!"

Rey giggled in spite of herself.

"How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?"

She laughed again under her breath, and then said, "I'll get some hot chocolate, you guys keep watching."

She walked into the kitchen and started poking around the cabinets at the food Rose had stashed away.

"It still makes you laugh," Ben's voice was soft behind her.

"It's my favorite Christmas movie," Rey turned to him, she smiled and glanced up to the side comically pursing her lips, "accounting humor is hard to come by, and ought to be appreciated."

When Ben smiled with her, his eyes never left her face.

"You knew I would be here," Rey said quietly, watching him carefully.

"Poe mentioned you," he nodded slowly, looking down.

Rey gave a half smile, "I see."

"Rey, I'm so sorry about everything," his voice was so low she felt it reverberate inside her.

"It's nothing," she whispered, looking away, unable to meet his gaze as she lied to him.

"It was never nothing," he said softly, "Everything fell apart in that one single moment, with my parents and my job, with you…my whole life."

Rey looked up at him again, "I would have helped you."

He shook his head, "I had to do it for myself."

She nodded, a glimmer of understanding reaching her heart.

"How is everything now?" she asked, willing her pulse to slow down.

"Better," he pressed his lips together, "I had several really long talks with my mom. She eventually asked me to come back." He shook his head, "My dad was more forgiving than you can imagine, more than I deserved."

The corners of Rey's mouth tilted up, "I always knew he would be." She looked at the tin of hot chocolate in her hands, "So, everything is fixed," she placed it onto the counter, looked up at him and forced a smile, "all better."

He shook his head, "No, it's not," he whispered.

All the sadness of the past year welled in his deep brown eyes. He held her in his gaze steadily, "Rey, I'm so sorry."

Rey lifted a hand to push a lock of his soft hair away from his face and let her fingers trail into his wavy hair. He turned his face into her touch, closing his eyes and allowing a trail of tears to escape unheeded.

"Rey," he raised his eyes to look at her once more as her hand dropped away, "could you ever forgive me?"

The draw to be near him was too powerful, Rey reached for him, slowly letting her arms encircle his waist. He answered her touch, stepping closer to her as she drew him in, allowing her to wrap her arms around him and rest her cheek on his chest. All the tension seemed to drain away as she held him, he whispered her name again as he slid a hand across her back and buried his fingers in her hair pinning her against him. Rey could feel his warm breath against her skin as he nestled his face into her hair, as they held each other the pain of the last year suddenly felt like a distant memory.

"I missed you," she whispered against his chest.

"Every day," he finished softly.

She pulled away to look up him, tears now wetting her own cheeks.

He wiped them away with his thumbs, "Please, don't cry," he whispered.

A voice from the living room sounded, "You guys need help with the hot cocoa?"

It was Poe. Rey laughed in spite of herself, "Hang in there, guys." She called back before looking at Ben, who was hesitantly releasing her.

"I guess we better…" Rey's voice drifted off as she picked up the hot chocolate canister again and read the directions.

"Do you know where the pots and pans are?" she asked Ben who hadn't taken his eyes off her.

He smiled, a small, soft thing.

"I'll find one," he answered, finally breaking his gaze and turning his attention to the kitchen cabinets.

Rey put the saucepan on the stove and flipped the heat on to high before reaching for a spoon for the chocolate mix. She was just about to scoop a spoonful of powder into the dry pot when Ben's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Wait, have you ever done this before?"

She paused placing the spoon back into the canister, "Not…exactly."

"Ok, well, what you're doing is great," he smiled sweetly, "it's just probably going to burn everything and maybe not taste very good."

"Oh, really?" Rey placed a hand on her hip, "Are you some sort of hot cocoa proficient?" she teased.

"No," he laughed turning the knob down to medium low, "I just watched my mom make it for our family at Christmas time every year."

Rey smiled, "How is she?"

"Good, she's good, she misses you," he met her eyes but the intensity proved too much and he looked back at the pot, "Let's start with some milk…you could use water, but milk makes it creamier."

He measured out the milk into the pot, "With milk you have to heat it a little slower or the fat congeals on the top and makes a skin."

Rey tilted her head to the side, "Did you go to culinary school while you were away?"

He laughed briefly but then grew serious, "No, mostly just bounced from job to job, trying to figure things out."

Poe strolled into the kitchen just then, "Yeah, our wayward friend here confessed last week that he hadn't even been on a date in over a year." He playfully punched Ben in the arm.

Ben averted his eyes from Rey's as he handed her a mug of hot cocoa, "Well, we can't all be Poe Dameron can we?"

Rey took a sip of hot chocolate.

Poe laughed, running a hand through his perfectly curly hair, "No, of course not, but, a year, man? That's like before you left ResistCorp…wow, which makes me wonder, were you seeing somebody at work? Now I'm curious."

Rey choked and started coughing.

"Are you ok?" Ben took the cup from her as she was shaken by coughs and rubbed her back gently, "Let me get you some water."

Rey raised a hand indicating she was fine but took the water anyway, "Thank you."

Another cough.

"It was too hot," Rey looked away. Ben would know it wasn't true but maybe Poe would buy it.

Poe looked back and forth between the two of them. It was only then that Rey realized how close to her Ben was standing and moved to put a little distance between them.

"Well, let me help you take those in," Poe said casually but he cast Rey another look as he took the mugs that made her breath catch in her throat again.

Two Christmas movies later, Finn carried a sleeping Rose to their room. Ben stretched his long legs before wishing Rey and Poe a good night and heading down the hall.

Rey took a fortifying breath.

"I won't tell anyone," Poe said softly.

Rey met his eyes, "Really?"

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to put you guys on the spot, I honestly didn't realize until…right then."

Rey nodded.

"Can I ask though, why you guys never told anybody?" his voice was the gentlest Rey had ever heard him.

"We never really got that far," she said quietly, "It wasn't supposed to be a secret, but then he left and what was the point of telling anybody then?"

Poe nodded, "…and now he's back."

"Now, he's back," she nodded with a faraway look in her eyes.

"You're sure you don't want to come with us?" Rose begged.

Rey smiled and took both of Rose's shoulders in her hands, "If I put on a pair of skis and slide down a mountain, I will kill myself."

"So dramatic, I'm just looking out for you, you need to have fun," Rose groaned.

"No, I'm looking out for you, you don't want to live with that guilt," Rey pulled on one of Rose's adorable side braids.

"Do you at least have a good book?" Rose asked, finally resigned.

Rey waved her book in the air as proof.

"Dark Disciple?" Rose read aloud, "Star Wars? Really?"

Rey shrugged, "I like it… it speaks to me."

Rose smiled, "Have fun then, I'll see you tonight."

Rey gave her a quick hug and she was gone.

"Wow, you actually got her to give up," Ben's voice beside her startled her.

"How did you get out of this anyway?" Rey quizzed him, turning to him in a most accusing way.

"I don't know, people tend not to question me as much," he shrugged.

Rey couldn't help noticing how the cable knit sweater he was wearing shifted when he moved, "It's probably your intimidating size." She quipped.

"You never found me very threatening," he said, moving infinitesimally closer.

Rey threw up her hands, palms up, "It's a mystery." But then another thought occurred to her, "Wait, I thought you loved to ski."

He shrugged again, "I'd rather be with you instead."

Rey raised an eyebrow but Ben just smiled and changed the subject, "So…reading?"

She nodded holding the book up again.

"Oh, I love Star Wars. I'll get us some coffee," he pointed toward the café.

"You're going to stay?" she asked.

"Where else would I go?" he said over his shoulder.

Rey picked out a good spot by the fireplace and opened her book. After a little while, Ben came back with the coffees. She took a sip of the piping hot liquid.

"Eggnog coffee?" She exclaimed.

Ben smiled softly, "Hopefully, you still like it."

"Eggnog in coffee will always be amazing," Rey declared and took another sip.

Ben leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "Listen, I know we have a big exciting day planned here…"

"Not you too," Rey cried.

"No, look, we can totally do this, if this is what you want to do. But I just wanted to suggest…" his voice lifted in pitch and he paused for dramatic effect, "ice skating."

Rey lowered her head into her hand, "Why do you people not realize I'm from Phoenix, I don't do winter!"

"Ice skating is actually fun," he coaxed.

"I'll fall."

"I'll make sure that doesn't happen," he extended a hand toward her.

Rey glanced at the warm fire one more time before she exhaled with a smile and took his hand.

"Are you sure the skates are supposed to fit this tight?" Rey asked Ben who was kneeling in front of her lacing her second skate.

"Yeah, otherwise you won't be able to balance on the blade. Hold on, I'm almost done…" he resumed his work.

Rey looked around the ice skating rink, at least it wasn't crowded, and the view was breathtaking.

"There!" Ben exclaimed, giving her ankles a squeeze, which Rey would have been able to feel, had her feet not been completely numb with cold and tight fitting ice skates.

She shot him a dubious look as he stood to his feet, "You promise not to let me fall?"

"I promise," he said, holding his hand out to her.

Rey let him pull her to her feet and immediately her ankles began quivering back and forth, "Oh wow."

He laughed lightly and placed an arm around her waist, "You got it, and you're doing fine."

Rey nodded, "It'll be fun."

"Yes, that's the spirit," he nodded encouragingly helping her out onto the ice.

It was slow going but Ben showed her how to use her toe to stop and how to move around but what Rey couldn't stop thinking about was the way it felt to keep her small hand in his larger one. The feeling of his arm around her waist when she started to wobble left her heady.

"I'm glad you talked me into this," she said after a while.

Ben's arm tightened around her, unconsciously pulling her closer to his side.

"Need a rest? Did you ever get feeling back in your toes?" Ben slowed and slid in a semi circle to stand in front of her.

"Kiss! Kiss!" a voice rang out.

"Kiss her!" another voice shouted from a different direction.

"What in the world?" Rey whispered looking around.

A little girl skated by, backwards, Rey noticed with jealousy.

"You're under the mistletoe," the little girl pointed above their heads and skated on.

"It's tradition," a woman said as she passed.

Rey's cheeks blushed pink as she looked back to Ben who was watching her carefully behind dark lashes.

"I guess it's tradition," she said softly.

Ben circled an arm around her waist, pulling her close, and touched her cheek gently.

Rey slid her hand around his neck, entangling her fingers into his wavy brown hair.

Ben lowered his head until it was so close to hers that Rey could feel his breath on her lips.

Rey closed the distance between them.

Ben tossed another log into the small fireplace of the condo and lowered himself to the sofa beside Rey who was already curled up in a soft blanket.

"So, back home tomorrow," Rey said quietly.

"Are you glad you came?" he asked softly.

"Are you really asking me if I'm glad you came?" she chided gently, pulling his hand into her own.

"You would have been well within your rights if you never wanted to see me again," he said, not meeting her gaze.

"I'm glad you came," Rey whispered.

Ben tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I never stopped loving you, Rey," he said gently, lowering his forehead to touch hers.

"I know," she whispered.

He kissed her softly.

"I love you too," she said quietly.

He pulled her close to him and kissed her again.

"Come back, Rey, come home where you belong," he let his fingers play in her hair as he spoke.

She smiled and nodded and pulled him into another kiss in the golden, glowing light of the fire.