For Them To Remember

by L.E-Rae

One. Behind him, it must have been. But then another. In front. A few more to his left; even more to his right. He couldn't tell which one fired the shot. Or the second. Or the third. By then, he'd lost count. He wanted to keep hanging on. But… he couldn't. It wasn't going to be long now… He was leaving and there was nothing he could do.

A Sea of Stars

The battle- it was long. Sweaty. Exhausting. Blurry. Figures turned to smudges in Lance's vision as the fight drew on and on. Each Galran body just becoming another in the red explosion, heavy pressing smog blocking his airways with every shot he fired. Every life he ended- whether it be robotic or a true living soul- just became one more on the kill-count. His fingertips crusted in sanguine and throbbing just as much as his legs did every time he pulled the trigger.

He'd killed so many. How did they keep coming?

One. Behind him, it must have been. But then another. In front. A few more to his left; even more to his right.

He couldn't tell which one fired the shot. Or the second. Or the third. By then, he'd lost count.

It was as if his mind fell into denial: an eerie confusion creeping through him like a sort of metallic-fog. Like a flag in the wind, skin flaps of serrated flesh flapped and hung droopily, dripping singular droplets from the ends of its stringy, pink strands.

A couple in his stomach. One through his back. Three through his thigh. Another lodging in a lung. And his shoulders felt numbed, yet alive and screeching with pain.

He soon dropped his weight to the wall and felt his eyes contract into pinheads. The alien walls around him began spinning so he could only just about make out the Galran soldiers leaving him for dead in the centre of the massacre. His head seemed to fill the brim with gallons of lethargic alcohol, sending his already acquired fuzz into more of a ravenous storm.

Reality hit him like a train. He shook like volts of electricity was powered through every cell in his figure- and not just because of the metallic splutters he coughed up.

It was more of a roll of his head, staring down at the desolate corridor. Battles: weapons firing down other halls not far away but seeming so slow and distant, the noises echoed through his thoughts.

Then he fell- sharp, pathetically. His whole body crashed, slumped like all the hope had been sucked out from him, disposed of into the vacuum of space. The heavy coughs never ceased; and even though the back of his throat was coated in a thick layer of blood, it couldn't have felt so dry. Like a desert deprived of rain for months apart.

Mixed in with the red liquid already bathing his skin in a maliciously warm way, tears fell from his cheeks. Silently. Almost trying to tiptoe down his face trying not to break the fragile line between consciousness and, well… an open void of nothing.

"Lance."

He wasn't sure whether he'd ever heard anything in the first place. But the soft hum repeated again through the coms and Lance had to bite back a suffocating sob.

"Lance?"

"Keith?"

"You doing okay?"

Amongst all the hurt, Lance felt another agony arise and crush his chest into a single atom. Tears seemed to brim the edges of his slowing heart. From the inside, he had been flooded completely.

I don't want to die.

He wanted to wake up the next morning to eat another bowl of food-goo with Hunk. Help the Yellow Paladin make cookies again and watch as Pidge would eat every single one, blaming the mice. He wanted to watch Shiro scold them all for meddling around. He wanted to carry on teaching Allura and Coran things about earth. How the sea would move with the moon and water would fall from the sky. How there were only eight planets. How he had each constellation memorised, as much as he denied ever being able to remember "such irrelevant space-stuff". He wanted to see the day where he'd return back to earth and fall and cry into his mother's shoulder. How he'd never let go… He wanted to count stars again. He wanted to see more of what was out there. He wanted to meet and see new aliens. He wanted to help more people. He wanted to carry on flying Blue. He wanted live until the day he saw the Galra defeated. Obliterated. He wanted to keep on fighting for his home, his planet, his family, his friends. He wanted to keep hanging on. Fight to stay alive. But… he couldn't. He couldn't hang on. It wasn't going to be long now… He was leaving and there was nothing he could do... for himself.

He had to do what he knew he did best. He couldn't reassure his self, so he'd take the pain away from the others, if only a for a little longer...

'You're so fucking selfless.' He could hear Pidge's illusory voice muffle through the clouds in his head.

'Pidge! Language!' Shiro would always scold after, much to her annoyance. But it would always make Lance smile.

So, he smiled, "I'm good. I knew those bastards couldn't take me."

"Good. I finished up on my corridor. I'm heading over to Pidge and Shiro. They have some trouble near the boarding docks. You should try to make your way over."

"Yeah," he paused, "… I just need to catch my breath."

My last ones.

Lance didn't think he heard Keith give out a response, but he knew he should have.

"Hey, Keith?"

There was a bit of delay and slight static, but the echo it made in Lance's ears was the weightiest worry, "Yeah?"

"What do you love the most?"

Lance smiled at himself, allowing the tears to flow without restraint (not that he actually attained the strength).

"L-Lance?"

"Please." He begged a little too desperately, "just… just please answer the question."

Had he not been lying there with half of his life pooled around him, Lance would have heard the sprinting steps of the Red Paladin slow slightly, "well… I love the wonder and mystery of the universe. The way everything fits together so perfectly."

Lance hummed, dazed, "why?"

"It's the fact that there is so much we don't know. It's so terrifying that it's almost… captivating to me. There is some kind of beauty in all the things we can't figure out. Like, when we look out into the vast galaxies from our Lion's, it seems like it paints a unique picture. But, why? Each dot being so far away, that the beam that's traveling- well, the star may have already collapsed by the time we see actually see its light! How amazing is that?"

"Yeah…" Lance could feel the numbness soon turn to nothingness crawling prickly up his legs, "that is pretty amazing." Lance chuckled lightly, trying not to trigger another coughing fit, "god, Mullet. I didn't know you could be such a passionate talker. When…", Lance paused and slowly chose his words, "when this is all over, you're going to have to start speaking like that more often."

"Yeah, just blame that on the adrenaline, Lance. You won't get any more monologues- I can guarantee that."

Yeah, so can I.

"Hey, Keith?"

"Yeah?"

Lance took a sharp breath and began to cough. The splutters wouldn't stop, and from the blur his vision now took, his blue helmet began to pattern in red spots.

Kind of like stars. He thought, I wonder how long that light will last.

"Lance?! Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He spluttered again, "water down the wrong way-"

His whole vision began to hammer and the nothingness reached his fingertips.

He repeated himself, "hey, Keith?"

"… yeah?"

"E-even though I never say it, I'm always so intrigued with all the smart stuff Pidge always says. She'll never know, but I've always noticed a glint in her eyes. Same with Hunk. I'll never say it, but the way he takes care of everyone even though he's terrified himself- I admire it…" Lance had to pause for a breath and he faintly heard Keith speak his name like a question, but it was hard to tell whether it actually happened or if it was just him.

"Shiro has always been my role model you know? He's the reason I joined the Garrison, actually. He's… he's the best…" Lance could feel his voice fade away with every word he had to speak, but he pushed through, "Allura and Coran… I'm so happy I met them… They… they're like family now. You… you all are." The tears kept coming and coming, "and, Keith?"

"Y-yeah?"

Lance let his lips twitch up, "I r-remember."

"Huh?"

"I… bonding moment. I wouldn't be able to erase it even if I wanted to."

"Really?", he chuckled with such ease that Lance could just about feel jealous with the little power he had left, "I didn't think your paper-plane amount of memory could afford its precious space for things like that. Unless it was for Allura."

He wanted to laugh, but could only smile a feeble smile Keith would never be able to see, "don't worry, Mullet," he felt a last tear slip down his cheek, forced over the edge by his fluttering eyelids attempting to stay open as long as they could, "I have space for you on the paper-plane…". His eyes darkened, each eyelash fuzzing into small specks as the darkness draped over him, "I always have."

Lance never even heard the utter of a reply. The nothingness smothered over his face. Not like a tidal wave- more like calm oceans crawling up the sands of Varadero beach. His bones became detached from his muscles, his muscles away from his nerves, his nerves away from his brain. There was a weak spark (if it could even be called that) limply dragging itself along every ridge his body had to offer. From each leg to each arm, to each dip and dive in his toes and fingertips. His blood stopped moving, lead taking over instead. The spark reached over his heart and it beat its last pulse. He took in his last breath of the metallic perfume, the slight aroma of aftershave he'd put on that morning slipping through into one of the last things he noticed. The spark crawled up his neck, closing off every sound for good in his ears, truly making sure his deep, ocean-blue eyes would never open to see the beaches he'd grown on, or the family he had promised himself he'd return to once again. The spark nestled itself one last time in his brain, erupting over the surface.

'¡Tío! ¡Tío! ¡Mira lo que encontramos!'

'Take care of yourself, mi hijo. Return to us, sí?'

'Hey, my names Hunk! Glad to meet you, man.'

'Alright, number three- let's do this!"

'Ooo! I'd like something sparkly!"

'Lance is the goofball.'

'We had a bonding moment… I cradled you in my arms!'

'That's why we bring our Sharpshooter.'

'Nice job, Lance!'

'You're such a romantic, right? You'll find 'the one' someday, I promise.'

'What would we do without you?'

'We'll miss you, douche!'

'Be… please be safe…'

'You're a hero, you know that? I'm not sure what we would have done without you. Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'We owe our lives to you- thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'Thank you.'

'You saved us… thank you.'

…

'It's the fact that there is so much we don't know. It's so terrifying that it's almost… captivating to me. There is some kind of beauty in all the things we can't figure out. Like, when we look out into the vast galaxies from our Lion's, it seems like it paints a unique picture. But, why? Each dot being so far away, that the beam that's traveling- well, the star may have already collapsed by the time we see actually see its light! How amazing is that?'

'Yeah, that's pretty amazing.'

…

'Really? I didn't think your paper-plane amount of memory could afford its precious space for things like that. Unless it was for Allura.'

"Don't worry, Mullet. I have space for you on the paper-plane. I always have."

…

Then, everything stopped. His body: left lifeless. His memories: left to slowly dissipate into a sea of stars.

His life: either left for others to cry over… or for them to remember.