I Will Never Love
Love?
What is it anyway? I wonder faintly about the meaning of the word as I walk away from the blown up reactor. I don't know why I was thinking about it, I guess it was with Barret going on about his daughter, Marlene all the time. He was doing these things for her, for the love of her.
But why?
Why would someone waste his or her life just to please someone else? The only person I loved was my mother and she was killed five years ago. Besides, that's not the same thing! Of course you love your parents. It's an instinct, right? When it's love, pure and true, it's different. You're willing to follow them to the ends of the Earth. You want to protect them from harm. You become a different person.
I will never love anyone.
I know this. The very thought of letting someone know my secrets, someone invading my personal space! I cannot stand it. I like to be on my own. I do not want, or need, anybody.
I continue my thoughts as I continue down the road and I notice people panicking, running around like headless chickens. Now, that is a stupid metaphor if I ever heard one! I shake my head from my thoughts as I notice a petite brunette woman being pushed to the ground, her flowers littering the floor as they tumbled from her basket. I didn't have any desire to help her up but she seems like one of those helpless girls and so, I walk over.
"Are you alright?" I ask. She blinks up at me before giving a large smile.
"Yeah," She replies, climbing to her feet and dusting her dress. I bend down and grab some flowers for her, gently handing them back.
"What happened over there?" She enquires, her eyes glancing from me to the alleyway I appeared from. I clear my throat.
"Nothing…hey listen…" I start but stop almost as quickly. What was I doing? Since when do I speak to random people? She looks at me with a small smile, her eyes fixed on mine. I realise I have nothing else to say until my eyes travel to her basket.
"You…um…you don't see many flowers around here." I continue lamely. However, she does not seem to think so.
"Oh? Do you like them? They're only one gil!" She insists. I blink and opened my mouth to say no…except,
I don't say no.
"Yeah, sure." I say, reaching into my pocket and handing over a small gil coin. She grins and hands me a small pink rose.
"Thank you," She smiles before starting to walk away. I watch her for a moment before my eyes travel to the flower in my hand. It's so beautiful and gentle, and so vulnerable. I sigh as I know that it will not live long after being moved from it's roots. It will be lucky to last a few months.
I start walking in the direction the girl went so that I could catch my train. My thoughts travel back to love and I shake my head.
No I will never love!