Author's Note: After watching season five in less than twenty four hours, I am addicted to the Asgaurd. They seem to be so interesting and very, very funny. And, because I was bored, I created my own little Asgaurd thingy. So… on with the story, if you wouldn't mind. And, uh, this is my pitiful attempt at Asgaurd humor. It also includes S/J 'ship, because I was bored. Remember, it says humor, so don't take anything seriously. It would offend me deeply.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not even the Asgaurd. Dern it.
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"The high counsel recognizes General Jack O'Neill of Earth." Odin spoke carefully, unwilling to give the human any cause to take offence. He had been warned by Thor to have patience with the human, and later by Freyr who suggested just finding another human like Samantha Carter to represent Earth. Thor would not have it though, and as the protector of Midgard, he had the final say.
"Finally." And then began to ask them for something else. It seemed to Odin that the humans where always asking for something, and never came to chat, though Sif pointed out that if O'Neill came to chat they would never get anything done ever again. Thor agreed, surprisingly enough. It turns out that O'Neill wanted to take him fishing, though what that was, none knew.
It registered to Odin that O'Neill was asking them to come to a wedding. Not his, but one between Samantha and her fiancé. It came as a surprise, and they told him they would let him know later, before all convening without him.
Frigg was upset with this, for some unknown reason, and kept muttering about O'Neill's and Carter's destiny, but would not say anything else for some time.
So it was decided that holographic representations of them would be present at the wedding, or rather Thor, Heimdall, and Freyr. Freyr was extremely upset at this arrangement, and wanted to get out of it. But, as Odin pointed out to him, if Freyr did this O'Neill might not ask anything more.
Thor pointed out to Odin that O'Neill mentioned that he was retiring from the SGC, and that they would have someone else to deal with. This was met with some enthusiasm, but for the Asgaurd, even showing that much meant it was a big deal. Apparently upset over the joy that was barely expressed, Thor asked who they would contact now to save their "little grey butts". That was met with some silence, until Frigg asked if it would really matter. The Goa'uld were hardly a problem, the Replicator of Carter was destroyed somehow, and the SGC was going public. There really was nothing left in the galaxies to do, until they were reminded by Thor, again, who, in Odin's mind, had that nasty little habit of reminding people of things that they do not want to be reminded of, of the humans in the Pegasus Galaxy. Odin then reckoned that if they went to help the humans there with the fight against the Wraith, then their debt to Earth would be paid off, and that Earth and Atlantis would then owe them something. Enough reason to justify pulling the old SG1 out of whatever they where doing at the time.
So it was agreed on, but still Frigg remained utterly unapproachable. And then, in a wild streak of genius, she pulled aside Thor and the two collaborated on a plan. It was simple enough, and would make the rather down looking O'Neill much happier, as well as place him in debt to the Asgaurd.
So Thor, Freyr (who disliked the idea altogether, though he would like it to work), and Heimdall beamed down to Earth for the wedding. And, right as Samantha Carter was about to say 'I do' to Pete, they beamed her and General O'Neill out.
They confronted the two about their feelings, while Carter muttered some excuse about regulations. Thor then pointed out that with O'Neill retiring, there would be nothing standing in their way. Carter, apparently, had not been informed about his resignation, because she burst into tears and threw her arms around O'Neill.
So, a week later after the wedding of O'Neill and Carter, the Asgaurd prepared to beam them to a nice little planet for a galactic honeymoon. And before they where beamed away, O'Neill smiled and waved a hand, telling them that he owed them one.
When they were gone, Odin turned to the approaching Thor, who only said: "I think he will come to regret those words. We seem to have a problem…"
And with another tell-tale flash of light, an angry roar sounded throughout the area:
"THOOOOOR!"
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AN: I report that my parody/humor skills seem to be malfunctioning. Didn't turn out how I hoped it to be, because I wanted to add something witty that Odin said to Thor at the end, but I couldn't think of what to say. Oh well, I tried.